Shaking the Peng Challenge Thread, Boss

bauhaus · May 21, 2007

Originally posted by Boo Radley:
Wow...
It must be tough going through life with an ego as eggshell thin as yours.

Ain't that the truth brutha'!

Mace · May 21, 2007

Originally posted by Abbott:
I'm not worried Mace you wouldn't have the balls to swing it...unless of course Bugged told you too!

Nah she didn't tell me to do it....it was more for my own personal enjoyment. **grins**

Joe Shaw · May 21, 2007

Originally posted by bauhaus:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:
Wow...
It must be tough going through life with an ego as eggshell thin as yours.

Ain't that the truth brutha'!

Nidan1 · May 21, 2007

Things that are black include all the plants in the garden, the house, the peacocks (although they have white skull-shaped "eyes" on their tails), the cats (Death likes cats) and the bees (Death also likes bees, possibly because a hive mind has no fear of him). Things that are bone-white (and indeed skeletal) include the trout in the pond, some of the birds and the garden gnomes........and also Homer Simpson.

stikkypixie · May 21, 2007

Originally posted by Nidan1:
Things that are black include all the plants in the garden, the house, the peacocks (although they have white skull-shaped "eyes" on their tails), the cats (Death likes cats) and the bees (Death also likes bees, possibly because a hive mind has no fear of him). Things that are bone-white (and indeed skeletal) include the trout in the pond, some of the birds and the garden gnomes........and also Homer Simpson.

You know what else is black and white? You not sending turns. Yeah that's right, try to make sense out of that!

Joe Shaw · May 21, 2007

Originally posted by Nidan1:
Things that are black include all the plants in the garden, the house, the peacocks (although they have white skull-shaped "eyes" on their tails), the cats (Death likes cats) and the bees (Death also likes bees, possibly because a hive mind has no fear of him). Things that are bone-white (and indeed skeletal) include the trout in the pond, some of the birds and the garden gnomes........and also Homer Simpson.

And that's why you're still JUST a Nidan1. If you had any ambition or gumption you'd be at least a Nidan3 by now ... unless the judging committee finally discovered what a no-talent bum you really are.

Joe

Nidan1 · May 21, 2007

....and who would this so-called "judging committee" be??? Eh Joe, certainly not anyone from around here...possibly you might find someone with the qualifications "to Judge" in that Waffle thread, but then again this is not a pie tasting contest.

Joe Shaw · May 21, 2007

Originally posted by Nidan1:
....and who would this so-called "judging committee" be??? Eh Joe, certainly not anyone from around here...possibly you might find someone with the qualifications "to Judge" in that Waffle thread, but then again this is not a pie tasting contest.

Indeed not Nidan ONE, as in the FIRST and LOWEST of Nidans, as in someone without the slightest shred of ambition to further themselves, as in someone who, after all these years, hasn't even BOTHERED to make the ATTEMPT to become Nidan2.

No, it's not a pie eating contest ... you MIGHT be able to BETTER yourself were that the case.

Joe

Michael Dorosh · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Boo Radley:
So, I got up early this morning to go have my car's oil changed and while I was there, I asked them to take a look at my brakes because I've been having this intermittent problem where it feels like my brakes are locking up a bit. So, they did a brake test and told me that the calipers on the driver's side were stuck and he showed me the discs and rotors and all sorts of other things brake related that a person such as myself really hopes he won't have to look at because it's not something we understand or want to deal with.
Well, the... metal things in the brake had been so overheated that they were warped, cracked and had actually changed color.
It was quite impressive.
The mechanic then told me the price of the repair and after I had picked myself up off the ground, I told him to go ahead and "Do it to it" (Those were my actual words).
They had all the parts there, except for the calipers, which they had to have delivered and which the mechanic told me would only take about a half hour to arrive. (Knew I should have brought a book!)
So, I sat on the very uncomfortable chair and spent my time reading severely out of date People magazines (Did you know Brittany was in rehab?!)and watching Animal Planet on the TV and an hour and a half later, the calipers arrived.
What had begun as a $22.95, half hour oil change had become a $571, three and a half hour brake job.

But that's not what I came here to tell you all about.

Later that same day, which would really be today, Rose and I decided it was finally time to embrace the 21st Century and replace our cell phones.
(We still had the cell phones we had purchased 11 years ago and were roughly the size of WW2 walkie-talkies. Whenever I used mine, I would grab it and yell, "CheckMate King Two, This is White Rook, Over!" Which I think was what they always said in the old TV show, Combat, starring Vic Morrow as Sgt. Saunders and Rick Jason as Lt. Hanley. Or maybe not)

In any event, Rose and I travelled to the local Verizon store and when we began talking to the phone salesman, I was... treated, I guess you'd say, to the spectacle of Rose outrageously flirting with the guy!
Now this lad, Justin by name, was young enough to be our son, but that didn't stop Rose from giggling, touching his arm repeatedly and when he told us to call him if we had any problems, telling him that she'd call him on the way home and then every day.

I was bemused.

Then, after we had left the store, she said, "He was fun to mess with."

Is she cool, or what?

I never did answer the email you sent a (long) while back Boo. You thanked me for mentioning the Mighty 8th series or somefink. Didn't think it required a response on my part, but I did want to tell you I appreciated the note. Did you ever get a copy of the series for yourself? I think there are four separate books or something - the war diary, the colour photo book, or something like that.

Anyway, cute story about your wife. It's fun when you have established a level of trust and can have fun like that in front of each other. Not to speak for Abbott, but I think what he meant to say is that in the experience of a lot of men, it is rare to meet a woman well adjusted enough to allow for the same kind of fun in return. If your princess is indeed in that category - ie secure enough to see you flirt a bit - you don't need some anonymous internet people to tell you how lucky you are. And if she isn't, well, you're in league with a lot of attached men, and from what you've revealed about her - still pretty lucky to have her. Either way, thanks for sharing a neat story. She sounds like a lot of fun.

Incidentally, is she the one that looks like Jorja Fox? I can't keep all the MBT spouses straight. I just keep coming back to the picture of Seanachai with the girl in the Snow White costume and having to try and erase the thought that that was somebody's daughter.

As for cool, I remember distinctly meeting one of my good friends for the first time; a little over two years ago now. She hugged me on first sight, which I liked, and about 10 minutes later driving on the way to our coffee date conversation had worked to the point where she felt comfortable enough to tell me to "**** off." We all find different things cool. Southern belle she wasn't. Ain't. Whatever.

On his show, Jerry Seinfeld, playing himself, always dreamed about dating a girl named Lois because he was gaga about Lois Lane. I always wanted to know someone like Elaine Benes. I finally did have a date on Saturday with an Elaine, which was fun, but I was disappointed that she didn't once shove me, tell me to "get out", or for that matter, tell me to '**** off'. Of course, had she started flirting with a phone salesman, I would not have considered that cool, either. Everything is relative.

Oh, if Seanachai strolls along through here, does he still have Snow White's number?

Oh, and you have Chip Saunders' radio voice procedure down to a T. I hope you googled that because if you actually remember it...the other chestnut of course is "One-Adam-Twelve, One-Adam-Twelve..."

Joe Shaw · May 22, 2007

Grog Dorosh ... just as we DON'T CARE about Abbott's freaking trucks, we don't care about who hugged you or whether you danced with Elaine whatshername.

Joe

p.s. Yes, the photo I've seen of Lady Rose does bear an uncanny resemblence to Jorja Fox.

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Abbott:
Well Rob it has nothing to do with knowing you or your wife. I wouldn't think my wife was cool if she treated me that poorly in public which makes my judgment pretty useful to me.

Of course, your actual UNDERSTANDING of anything is so fecked up that your JUDGEMENT could have you killing a family of four with a shotgun because they arrived at your home for Trick-or-Treat wearing zombie costumes.

Really, really obvious zombie costumes.

In other words, Abbott, you gotta get right with and get over using this 'I'll shiv your ass in the yard, bitch!' pseudo-prison Aryan Nation 'I've watched every episode of Oz' grinning cracker stupidity.

I mean, I've been reading your posts for months now...months and months....and I won't get a single goddamn moment of that time back, I might add, nor will I be able to trade them in for valuable prizes like a six month supply of pork rinds, or a cart full of merchandise at 'Big Al's House of Auto Parts' (Every part certified to come from Ohio, that's why there's no serial numbers!). So I know you're not some unzipped-fly, crab-riddled, crotch-scratching halfwit who thinks it's only bad to have sex with near relatives if you don't use a condom ('cause of that trouble where the government men took off cousin Shirl's and uncle Bill's kid because they never read about how Egyptan royalty used to interbreed to keep the blood pure...).

And that's how I know that you're not so feck-witted that you didn't understand the joke that Boo was talking about, and that he and his wife, who is a goddamn angel, were sharing. That's how I know that you weren't so completely lacking in the most rudimentary ****ing intelligence as to not understand that Boo was sharing with us all a story about something amusing that his wife did that so bemused him that it took even him a while to realize how funny it was.

Because I know, Abbott, that only a stupid, wife-beating asshole would fail to understand the fact that his wife had just enacted the Peng Challenge on an outsider.

You see, that's the other way I know you're just playing us a game here, eh? Because only someone too goddamn stupid to look up from his grip on his penis wouldn't understand that the Rose was having a joke at the expense of the salesman.

Originally posted by Abbott:
I also think that anyone who is married should show their spouse much more respect then that especially in public.

I think you need to work with some dictionaries and jump your thoughts through some hoops before your brain's got enough agility and muscle to come to grips with the word 'respect', bucky.

Originally posted by Abbott:
Maybe you should try treating her the same way in return? Seeing how you don't mind being treated like a little bitch go fetch me another cup of coffee!

Ah, at last! A rather limp attempt at a Peng Challenge moment.

Sorry, none of us here are after fetching more liquid to a man who's already had so much that he's pissed his pants publicly and hasn't the sense to go change 'em.

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:
Anyway, cute story about your wife. It's fun when you have established a level of trust and can have fun like that in front of each other. Not to speak for Abbott, but I think what he meant to say is that in the experience of a lot of men, it is rare to meet a woman well adjusted enough to allow for the same kind of fun in return. If your princess is indeed in that category - ie secure enough to see you flirt a bit - you don't need some anonymous internet people to tell you how lucky you are. And if she isn't, well, you're in league with a lot of attached men, and from what you've revealed about her - still pretty lucky to have her. Either way, thanks for sharing a neat story. She sounds like a lot of fun.

It's like God came down and gave him pixie wings. When did Dorosh start sounding like a freaking Care Bear?

I USED TO HAVE TO CLEAN-UP AND LAY DOWN THE FUR AFTER THIS BASTARD POSTED!

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:
I just keep coming back to the picture of Seanachai with the girl in the Snow White costume and having to try and erase the thought that that was somebody's daughter...

...Oh, if Seanachai strolls along through here, does he still have Snow White's number?

She asked about you. Says you used to tip huge, and all you ever wanted was for her to wear some German uniform with the uniform blouse un-buttoned to the waist, and read books about the SS out loud. She says you were very sweet. Says you once sewed her an entire dress. She compared you to the 'Singing Mice' in Cinderella.

You hideous little Canadian swine.

I piss on you from a considerable height.

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Normal Dude:
Would THIS be it?

Good God, man! Your pants are wet right down both inseams to the ankles! Go empty out your shoes, take a shower, throw everything you had on when you posted into the trash, and learn to drink like a man before you post here again.

Oh, and take a hose to your shoes.

Fecking children.

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Abbott:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mace:

Now keep still. **lines up the sledge hammer**

I'm not worried Mace you wouldn't have the balls to swing it...unless of course Bugged told you too!

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
And that's why you're still JUST a Nidan1. If you had any ambition or gumption you'd be at least a Nidan3 by now ...
Joe

What's that old line from 'A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum'? Ah, yes:

"But you'll never learn! You'll be a eunuch all your life!"

Michael Dorosh · May 22, 2007

Ah, Sean. It's a privilege to be pissed on by you once again. It saves me from having to pee on myself in the shower to stave off athlete's foot. Not that I have to worry so much about infections - it isn't that I didn't get my fair share of exercise on this glorious long weekend (at least, before the snow started to fly (and I kid you not)) but mostly because unlike the majority of the MBT, I don't have to shower with other men down at the local "Y" in order to be able to tell my mother I am getting some human companionship outside the confines of the little video monitor on my desktop.

At the risk of looking like I give a **** any more than Joe Shaw on National Curmudgeon's Day - how are you? Not that you often answer me; by the time I post this I am sure you will have departed once more like the wind. And rightly so.

You really are a student of human fecking nature; I have sewn garments for the fairer sex and I have seen them dressed as Nazis but it honestly was never my idea. As for tipping, they only get rewarded based on cup size. Snow White must have had a lovely rack for her to say that about me. Dump the food in my lap for all I care, just give me something to look at and multiplying by 0.25 is no problem at all for me.

Any resemblance to singing mice, or Cinderella, was purely incidental in nature, of course.

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />By the way this is the Peng Challenge, I don't think anyone's "advice" here is meant to be taken too seriously.

Nor even the initial post that spawned the advice ... can I say spawned here?

Joe

Seanachai · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:
You really are a student of human fecking nature; I have sewn garments for the fairer sex and I have seen them dressed as Nazis but it honestly was never my idea.

Oh, good. I'm almost sure that is what Goering claimed at the trials. But I am deeply reassured.

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:
Any resemblance to singing mice, or Cinderella, was purely incidental in nature, of course.

Now, thereby hangs a tale. Or a 'tail', as it were. For there was this time, many years ago, when my friend Bob (Big Orange Sheep!), and I, amongst a cast of many, attended a friend's wedding in Columbus, Ohio.

The wedding went off just beautifully. It was all very low budget, but quite nice. Bob, who made the mistake of bringing his guitar, had to play the 'processional', and the 'recessional'. He was told this the night before the wedding. You should have seen that bastard picking, practicing and drinking beer the night before, trying to get it right. He played 'She's in the Jailhouse, Now' as the recessional.

And then, there was the reception. Also low-key. Drinks and a light meal at another hotel, where all the guests were staying. And then there was the 'Party in the Rooms After the Reception'.

It was in mine and Bob's room. It was...immense. Drunkenness, debauchery, dancing, music. Twice I had to move a drunk, pretty, ex-gymnast woman from one bed to another. She ended up in my bed, of course. Her face was beautiful. I remember watching her sleep while my friend Bob and I talked all night.

We'd taken acid at...I don't know. Midnight, perhaps. The Witching Hour? It was brutal. He wasn't a talker, I was. He was a good listener, and a Holy Goof.

At 4 am the pretty, unconscious princess woke up, and wondered where she was. I was sitting perched on the edge of the bed like some kind of wired vulture. She reared up, befuddled, looked at the bed, and me, and said 'what did I do?'

Bob (Big Orange Sheep!), laughed, and told her: You passed out.

We called her roommate, and she came and picked her up. We saw her to the door. She was pretty, and bemused. We talked for another hour, then tried to sleep.

When we woke up in the morning, he had to drive from Columbus to Columbia, Missouri, and I had to be driven to Chicago. We were, to quote the tome, 'wielding death dealing hang-overs'. With a difference. We were both still kind of...sort of...tripping.

I got out of my bed first, and looked at the room. There were emtpy beers, wine bottles, glasses, garbage...EVERYWHERE. It was a nightmare of debauchery. I remember getting up, and grabbing an empty bottle, and wandering around for several minutes, feeling like seven kinds of ****e, trying to figure out what to do with it. I finally dropped it into an empty box on the floor. Then I picked up another empty bottle.

Bob (Big Orange Sheep!) asked me what I was doing. I told him: "I'm trying to clean up. We have to clean up." He looked at me with eyes like pissholes into hell, and said "Don't be insane. We can never get this cleaned-up".

We pulled all our cash, about $35, and left it on the wardrobe with a note of apology.

We ended up, hung-over, and still tripping, in the lobby of the hotel, waiting for our friends to deal with paying for the rooms.

We looked horrible. All our friends said so. And as we sat there, slouched low in strange, comfy chairs, we had to cope with the fact that the hotel was, that morning, hosting a 'little girl beauty pageant'.

So, while we sat there, looking like winos ****ted out by Cerberus, there were phalanxes of little girls, ages 6 to 12, practicing their walk and preparing in formal dresses, under the eye of their parents, in the lobby of the hotel.

And as we sat there, hoping for death, Bob (Big Orange Sheep!) said to me: "I hate this. In a moment, singing mice are going to show up to work on their dresses..."

And I freaking hated the fact that he said that. Because, after he did, I could see them. And I could hear the damn song.

You pay for everything. Now, or later.

Goddamn singing mice...

Mace · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Nidan1:
Things that are bone-white (and indeed skeletal) include the trout in the pond, some of the birds and the garden gnomes........and also Homer Simpson.

Homer Simpson's actually yellow.

Mace · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Seanachai:
I'd bring it down in a fecking minute, bucky. Never doubt. Mate.

I'll shout you a drink after your hard work.

Nidan1 · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Mace:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:
Things that are bone-white (and indeed skeletal) include the trout in the pond, some of the birds and the garden gnomes........and also Homer Simpson.

Homer Simpson's actually yellow.

Michael Dorosh · May 22, 2007

Originally posted by Seanachai:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:
You really are a student of human fecking nature; I have sewn garments for the fairer sex and I have seen them dressed as Nazis but it honestly was never my idea.