Seanachai Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: I rather like the rapier myself. I mean, sure, a Claymore is great for hacking the bejesus out of someone who has taken your parking place in a moment of berserk rage and all, but a rapier requires finesse, and tip-top reflexes. It is the tool of an artist. I like to think of myself as a sculptor of flesh. Michael Eh, you have to come to Dalem's then. Not only will you be given a sword, upon request, and with the proper movie accompaniment, but if you come over all Ishmael, you can go down into the basement and get the goddamn harpoon. Also, his current liquor cabinet looks like something that would make Hemingway sit up and smile. Every time I go over there, it makes me realize that the next Renaissance Festival here in town, with it's multiplicity of 'creative anachronism' craftsmen, I should buy a really good battleaxe. Sharpened. I've always loved axes. Spent several summers in Canada, at our Cabin, splitting wood, in my youth. It's a singularly introspective and focused activity. I also really like sledgehammers. Spent a couple of summers working construction, demo-ing vacancies. The hammer is harder. An axe has its own focus. With a hammer, you have to concentrate more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Seanachai- I found a bottle of Flor de Cana you had me buy for you a couple of weekends ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Originally posted by dalem: Seanachai- I found a bottle of Flor de Cana you had me buy for you a couple of weekends ago. And you're drinking it now, aren't you, you fecker? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Have I mentioned it, lately, that Boo HAS BETRAYED ME?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 And now, before I lose consciousness and go over to Dalem's tomorrow, how 'bout a strange and slightly nostalgic singsong? Bet Elvis went through something like this... Sister Clarissa could have been on the stage But Jesus came over & told her He'd rather she taught the fifth grade Sister Clarissa is engaged to Our Lord He has promised to take her to heaven He never goes back on His word Sister Clarissa is eleven feet tall Her rosary hangs & it clatters & it clangs When she moves down the hall She writes 'Sister Clarissa' up high on the board The chalk won't dare squeak The children sit meekly without a word Somehow you know summer's over. Who made me? God made me To know Him To love Him To serve Him in this world And to be happy with Him Forever Sister Clarissa believes in free will The communion of saints The forgiveness of sins And a quiet fire drill And when she hugs you She hugs you too tight And she gives you a star on the forehead For spelling Connecticut right Who made me? God made me To know Him To love Him To serve Him in this world And to be happy with Him Forever Many years later on a memory walk Through the old wooden doors Down the same corridors Dusted with years of chalk You see Sister Clarissa And she looks just the same And the sound of her rosary still brings a chill And she remembers your name And the years disappear As though they've never been And you hear yourself saying Yes Sister No Sister Like you were ten And you're so glad to see That she's still the same way And to tell her you love her Before she goes over to Her Fiance Who made me? God made me To know Him To love Him To serve Him in this world And to be happy with Him Forever Sister Clarissa" -Michael Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul AU Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Lord(s); I see by all the Gods that may, (or may not) be; those that may lend Beauty, Justice, or Truth to the utterances of mortals....have been on god-damned holiday this month. Again. Oh Lord(s), why is it down to me, whilst I am in the middle of polishing my 18th Century door-stoppers, I am called to lay the smack down on this dickhead? Again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Bard, I know you read my post on that other forum. The one about the big C. You, of all people should relate. I expected sincere empathy, an outpouring of heartfelt sympathy. But instead, you come here to blather on about hammers. I'll have you know that I have a considerable number of hammers. An impressive collection, some older than even you, passed down for generations. To the uninitiated, maybe not as impressive as dalem's swords. Yet these actually useful tools and not simply the playthings of drunkards. For construction and destruction; for automobiles, tractors and all sorts of machinery. Many sizes, from as small as a child's thumb to great, big, honking sledges of crushing. Every shape and type of hammer, each with it's own use; they are of plastic and brass, rubber and steel, wood and leather. All with the singular purpose of whacking things that need whacking. Made to persuade items to move and work. Post in that thread, or you shall be added to the list of things that need whacking and persuasion. Hammer out a post, or be hammered upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: Have I mentioned it, lately, that Boo HAS BETRAYED ME?! Looks up Eh? Removes glasses. Wipes them on sweatshirt. Replaces them. Squints at screen. Purses lips and tunelessly whistles the theme from "The Patty Duke Show". Looks above monitor to calendar. Flips through the last few months. What are you talking about? Do you mean the last time I betrayed you, or have I betrayed you yet again? If I've betrayed you again, I forgot to mark it down, and I'm usually good about things like that. I'll have you know I take my betrayals quite seriously. No haphazard betraying goes on in THIS house, by Gawd! Look, do you have a FAX number, so I can send you my standard betrayal form? Just fill it out and FAX it back and someone will be along within two or three working days. We are only happy with our betrayals when YOU are happy with our berayals. Boo Radley. An Equal Opportunity Betrayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: -Robin Williams Did I ever tell you about how I just missed meeting The Incredible String Band? They visited the Floating Lotus just a few weeks before I joined. Too bad as I liked them a lot and would have been pleased to meet them. I am still looking for a copy of The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter. Last time I searched for it, it was still out of print. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: I also really like sledgehammers.Yes, hammers are good too. I used to use a sledge and wedge to split oak for firewood years and years ago. A fairly noisy business, but satisfying. Much like shooting kittens, in fact. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Papa Khann, Seanachai, and Lars at at my house. We're playing the game "Wellington". Boo called. We are abusing him. Seanachai here: It was worth it just to see Dalem's expression when he realized that Boo was indeed calling him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Boo now has my number. He should visit. We would ply him with liquor. And dice. And insults. And games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 You know, it had been a pretty good day for me. I got up around 7AM and had breakfast while I read the paper. Then, I showered and got dressed and went over to the rock club, where I sat with some friends and drank coffee and chatted, then I took a load of polished flint out of the vibratory tumbler and set a new batch to polishing. I stopped at the Verizon store to see if they had any of those little rubber plugs that cover the charging port on a phone (You'd think they'd have bags of the damn things, but they don't... they generally just throw them away. How stupid is that?) and after looking through three drawers, the guy found one and gave it to me free. Then I washed all the salt grime off my car and went to the grocery store. Went home and had lunch and then, with Rose's help, cleared a pesky clog out of the downspout at the back of the house. I watched the 2002 version of "The Time Machine" and then watched the 1960, George Pal version (Just for perspective), read some of Larry Niven's new book and took a nap. Later, I made supper (Chicken breasts, rolled around brocolli florettes and parmesan cheese, angle hair pasta and sauteed asparagus, yellow pepper and red onion in a roasted garlic vinagrette dressing, along with a side salad), which we ate while watching an episode of "Foyle's War". Afterwards, I went online and read some E-mails and returned some CM files and then went upstairs to work on a piece of smoky quartz I was faceting. The motor on my faceting had died earlier in the week, but I had an old motor (Which I think came from a 1957 Singer sewing machine and when run at slow speeds sounded like the intestinal tract of a morbidly obese Armenian man, after eating a dinner filled with an inordinate amount of roughage) which I was able to fit to the machine and which actually worked, kinda OK. I had a beer next to me and was listening to some Chick Corea when... my day went to hell in a handbasket. I called dalem and spoke with he, Seanachai and Papa Khan. I didn't speak with Lars, because I guess my karma wasn't QUITE that screwed up. I remember seeing a movie called "The Snake Pit" which was made in the '30's, I think, and dealt with a woman who had been committed to an insane asylum. The sounds issuing forth from the telephone would have made the sound track of that movie resemble... an undiscovered Mozart aria that, if heard, would far surpass any musical score ever written on earth. It was the sound of the damned. If the damned were drunk, playing a board game where no one knew the rules (Or cared), while wailing gibberish about missing beef jerky. As much as Akron is a wet pile of dung in the middle of a charred, lifeless crater, I at least am comforted by the fact that there's like... three or four states between me and those four imbeciles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 Oh, and I couldn't tell over the phone, but there's a really good chance they were all naked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Originally posted by Boo Radley: Oh, and I couldn't tell over the phone, but there's a really good chance they were all naked. I'd do something about that disturbing imagination of yours. It's not the sort of mental imagery that the rest of us want to be left with. **shudders** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 If the damned were drunk, playing a board game where no one knew the rules (Or cared) ...{GASP} ... SACRELIEGE! And THIS is price to be paid when RULES ARE IGNORED! Oh, and I couldn't tell over the phone, but there's a really good chance they were all naked.Mind you I've been in the company of all four of them AT THE SAME TIME and while they didn't get naked on that occassion I suspect it was a near run thing. It was only the tremendous dignity and presence of the Beloved Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread that kept them toeing the straight and narrow ... although, now that I recall ... the course Lars steered ( and I use the term loosely ) when piloting his boat could hardly be called straight. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />If the damned were drunk, playing a board game where no one knew the rules (Or cared) ...{GASP} ... SACRELIEGE! And THIS is price to be paid when RULES ARE IGNORED! Oh, and I couldn't tell over the phone, but there's a really good chance they were all naked.Mind you I've been in the company of all four of them AT THE SAME TIME and while they didn't get naked on that occassion I suspect it was a near run thing. It was only the tremendous dignity and presence of the Beloved Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread that kept them toeing the straight and narrow ... although, now that I recall ... the course Lars steered ( and I use the term loosely ) when piloting his boat could hardly be called straight. Joe </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />If the damned were drunk, playing a board game where no one knew the rules (Or cared) ...{GASP} ... SACRELIEGE! And THIS is price to be paid when RULES ARE IGNORED! Oh, and I couldn't tell over the phone, but there's a really good chance they were all naked.Mind you I've been in the company of all four of them AT THE SAME TIME and while they didn't get naked on that occassion I suspect it was a near run thing. It was only the tremendous dignity and presence of the Beloved Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread that kept them toeing the straight and narrow ... although, now that I recall ... the course Lars steered ( and I use the term loosely ) when piloting his boat could hardly be called straight. Joe </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I didn't tell my former Squire Papa Khann that it was past HIS bedtime since the silly twit never listened to me when he WAS my Squire ... Lars didn't listen either but he at least PRETENDED to listen. dalem was in high dudgeon as he thought that Seanachai had posted his phone number. In fact he himself, dalem that is, is responsible for giving me his own phone number years ago and I've kept it in case I ever get in trouble with Homeland Security. I can always trade someone with a personal armory (and, allegedly, a harpoon) for a free pass from them. I spoke to Seanachai as well ... at least I THINK it was Seanachai ... he was the least cogent of the crowd so it was a safe bet. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Originally posted by Boo Radley: You know, it had been a pretty good day for me. I got up around 7AM and had breakfast while I read the paper. Then, I showered and got dressed and went over to the rock club, where I sat with some friends and drank coffee and chatted, then I took a load of polished flint out of the vibratory tumbler and set a new batch to polishing. I stopped at the Verizon store to see if they had any of those little rubber plugs that cover the charging port on a phone (You'd think they'd have bags of the damn things, but they don't... they generally just throw them away. How stupid is that?) and after looking through three drawers, the guy found one and gave it to me free. Then I washed all the salt grime off my car and went to the grocery store. Went home and had lunch and then, with Rose's help, cleared a pesky clog out of the downspout at the back of the house. [snipped for brevity's sake] My, what an exciting life you lead! That episode at the Verizon store must have had you pumping adrenaline like crazy. Your town sure is a happening place! Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul AU Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Nidan1 Aren't you afeared of the "Minions of the Bard", rising up against you? They’ve already done that, en mass. All four of them (including you). And like a poorly designed first-person shooter, their badly animated corpses lay at my weary feet, in quite an unatractive pile. I don't find you intersting at all.... Is that a fact? ...at least Seanachai makes sense half the time. Is that a fact? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul AU Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Double-post Is that a fact? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Seanachai Lars and Papa Khann here,. Boo calling Joe calling....... You wish you were me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Not on a bad bet. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Sounds like the opening line to "Night of the Living Dead" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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