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Distributing the Peng Challenge In Europe: No Rest for the Wicked


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Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Well, Boo-Boo, all I can say is this... At least Darwin was aware of the existence of my ancestors! Yours obviously were either too inconsequential to the gene pool to comment on, or simply defied explanation and were quickly swept under the rug (where they no doubt continued their insidious inbreeding).

Papa

As I've said before, you unbelievably dim-witted amoeba, I'm not part of your earthly gene-pool. My parents sent me away in a small rocket when our planet Krypton was destroyed. Capice? Or must I hit you over the head repeatedly with an empty pig's bladder until you understand? I don't happen to have an empty pig's bladder handy and the closest thing to it is your personality. Don't think that will work. It's empty, sure enough, but rather puny. Hmmm. Not to worry, I'll think of something.

p.s. You are a large odiferous git who plays CM with all the subtlety and panache of a drunken stevadore who's just been told he must vacate the stage as the real strippers are do out and his clumsy antics are nauseating the bouncers.

But I could say that about all of you.

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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

Joe Shaw, why are you dithering with stupid tournaments when you have yet to send me a fecking turn? Is it because dithering is what you do best? I thought as much.

You sent turn 11, I sent turn 12, I've seen nothing since. I can either blame MY ISP, YOUR ISP or simply YOU! I choose YOU!

Joe

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Buzzsaw,

My serf, you are doing well... a gallant taunt, Joebob insulted [not that it is difficult], posted an AAR. Wait, what is this? Boot where is the Boot picture you were to send Boot to the Lady? Please Boot correct Boot immediately. Boot

Who has a squire that needs a draw to Buzzsaw? I swear, this youngster is showing promise.

Rune

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Originally posted by athkatla:

And Geer what is your obsession with Scunthorpe? Twice I have seen this in your posts, and it offends me, please refrain from mentioning that scummy town again, or else I'll be forced to inflict horrendous taunts to your personage and possibly challenge you to handbags at 20 paces. Or failing that, powder puffs at 10 paces.

AfterCatLitter, please escort the (sic) Swedish Gruyere and yerself down to the paddock for Scunthorpe activities. I require Julie Andrews dress and swinging handbags to the refrain of "Scunthorpe, oh me sunny, Scunny Scunthoooorpe"

It gets me excited.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[ July 12, 2002, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

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ooOOOgah, ooOOOgah, ooOOOgah

Harv: All be upstanding for an official announcement from The Knight Champion of the MBT, the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread, The CessPool Drain Commissioner and the Founder of the ... {pause for a deep breath} ... Shavian House, that's right it's the feared and hated Utah Raptor Himself, SIR JOE SHAW! {holds up sign with APPLAUSE written on it}

Joe: Thank you Harv ... well done.

MY FRIENDS ... {Joe steps back from the microphone} ... My Friends it is with the greatest of pride that I come before you today to announce the First Semi-Irregular Great CessPool House Tourney!

The purpose of this tourney is to settle once and for all (or for the ten minutes that follow the results, whichever comes first) which House of the MBT is the greatest. This tourney will NOT test the skill in CMBO of the participants for that is meaningless within the CessPool. It will NOT even be based upon the winning or losing of the games but only upon the taunting and posting of the participants.

A blue ribbon panel of impartial judges will be established whose ethics and morals are beyond question right up 'till the time they're announced and then all bets are off.

Each and every member of a recognized CessPool House is REQUIRED to participate. What of those who are no longer in evidence? Well ... that should be an easy win for their opponents wouldn't you say?

NO NON-HOUSE MEMBERS ARE ELIGIBLE ... unless they wish to apply for formal membership in a given House Prior to the tourney (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more eh Guv?).

All battles will be fought using the following parameters:

</font>

  • Type: Unrestricted </font>
  • Force: No Restriction </font>
  • Quality: Random </font>
  • Battle: Meeting Engagement </font>
  • Force Size: 300 Points </font>
  • Map: Small </font>
  • Date: March 1945 </font>
  • Time: Random </font>
  • Weather: Random </font>
  • Turns: 20 </font>

The Challenger will create the map randomly and may choose all parameters. Of course Full FOW is in place.

We EXPECT a great deal of whining and moaning about the inadequate and stupid forces purchased for the particpants by the computer. We EXPECT good solid excuses about how the map was innappropriate. We EXPECT complaints about the random times and weathers. IN FACT IT THOSE THINGS AND OTHER THAT WILL BE JUDGED! Extra points will be awarded for superior examples of gamey play.

The following Houses have been recognized and the Justicariate will require full rosters of all current and former members of the Houses.

House Berli

House Croda

House Persiflage

House Rune

Shavian House

Have I missed any?

So you see lads, the Great CessPool House Tourney will be a tourney that embraces the virtues and traditions of the CessPool and rewards those who follow those traditions. THIS will be the REAL CMBO Tourney.

Prizes to be announced (yeah right like that'll happen.)

Joe

[ July 12, 2002, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

And Geer what is your obsession with Scunthorpe? Twice I have seen this in your posts, and it offends me, please refrain from mentioning that scummy town again, or else I'll be forced to inflict horrendous taunts to your personage and possibly challenge you to handbags at 20 paces. Or failing that, powder puffs at 10 paces.

ArseKisser, don't you ever disgrace Yeknod's most beloved Scunthorpe ever again! It's the garden city of England...lots of thistles. I think you owe the Donkey an apology.

Persephone</font>

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Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

And Geer what is your obsession with Scunthorpe? Twice I have seen this in your posts, and it offends me, please refrain from mentioning that scummy town again, or else I'll be forced to inflict horrendous taunts to your personage and possibly challenge you to handbags at 20 paces. Or failing that, powder puffs at 10 paces.

AfterCatLitter, please escort the (sic) Swedish Gruyere and yerself down to the paddock for Scunthorpe activities. I require Julie Andrews dress and swinging handbags to the refrain of "Scunthorpe, oh me sunny, Scunny Scunthoooorpe"

It gets me excited.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock</font>

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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

ooOOOgah, ooOOOgah, ooOOOgah

(more content-free blather mercifully snipped)

There's still time... Geier can still make the hit... all we need is another two red cents and a lollipop for payment. Please, I beg of you, dig deeply.
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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

A blue ribbon panel of impartial judges will be established whose ethics and morals are beyond question

Well, that would leave ... us. No one has ever questioned us on our ethics. Or morals come to think of it. And we're as impartial as they come. We're even Swedish after a fashion.

The Old Firm

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Elvis, don’t think I have forgotten you (as hard as I might try). I see that your monomania about turn numbering has morphed into an obsession with ”wankers”. How clever of you to post the same thing in every thread. I suggest you visit this web page for tips on controlling this kind of compulsive behavior. As a side benefit, you may find that you no longer care to cheer for those compulsive losers, the Eagles.

You may be senior in member number and Cesspool lineage, but, to me, you will never be anything more than Croda’s whining little lapdog. As long as we are talking about drug treatments, why don't you look into something for incontinence -- I think Croda is tired of mopping up your little puddles.

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Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

It gets me excited.

In all honesty, so did the "Three teams with dirty words in their names" skit. I can admit to looking absolutely stunning in Julie Andrews gear though.
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Originally posted by athkatla:

I would rather be hung drawn and quartered and fed to the pigs...

The European agricultural laws wouldn't allow that. Not with pigs meant for human consumption. The USA isn't so strict though, from what I've heard.

So, athkatla, seeing as you are not fit to be consumed by Euro-pigs, and there is therefore no honor to be gained by defeating you in a groggly tourney, match or duel, I hereby challenge your sorry self to the first battle of the Challenge of the Houses. You do belong to a house don't you? Or do you..?

In any event please fumigate and perfume your in-box, and that pronto, because a setup from the hand of moi is en route, ETA 15 minutes. And I do NOT intend to play nice.

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Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Have I missed any?

The Prevaricators of House Ananias.

Dolt.

Not that we participate in Cess-shudder-Tourneys.

Steve</font>

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Originally posted by CMplayer:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I would rather be hung drawn and quartered and fed to the pigs...

The European agricultural laws wouldn't allow that. Not with pigs meant for human consumption. The USA isn't so strict though, from what I've heard.

So, athkatla, seeing as you are not fit to be consumed by Euro-pigs, and there is therefore no honor to be gained by defeating you in a groggly tourney, match or duel, I hereby challenge your sorry self to the first battle of the Challenge of the Houses. You do belong to a house don't you? Or do you..?

In any event please fumigate and perfume your in-box, and that pronto, because a setup from the hand of moi is en route, ETA 15 minutes. And I do NOT intend to play nice.</font>

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Ah very good, we have our first LOSER then. House Ananias is clearly the WORST of the CessPool Houses ... mind you that comes as no great surprise since (iiiii) I've not heard of it before and {ii i ii) it's MrSpkr's House.

Joe

Tsk, tsk. Foul Red Jo, simply because you haven't heard of it doesn't mean . . oh why do I bother.

Seanachai is my liege. Is it MY fault he never did much about the House? Good cats, man, SenileTea took Pee El under his wing (and he darned well should have kept him there a few minutes longer - I think the lad was turning blue when the Bard let him out). At any rate, it is, without doubt, my House and home.

Deal with it.

Steve

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

You sent turn 11, I sent turn 12, I've seen nothing since. I can either blame MY ISP, YOUR ISP or simply YOU! I choose YOU!

Or you could blame that spongiform mass (in the strictest physical sense of being barely measurabely greater than 0 mass, yet extremely dense) you call a brain. Turn was sent July 4, to celebrate your impending impalement upon my brave boys' bayonets. Re-sent today because you are an old fart.

[ July 12, 2002, 05:40 PM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

[The following Houses have been recognized and the Justicariate will require full rosters of all current and former members of the Houses.

House Berli

House Croda

House Persiflage

House Rune

Shavian House

Have I missed any?

Joe

Clan Lorak-OGSF, at the top.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I do believe that AthoverteaKettle is still an SSN ... don't even believe he's found enough support to be made Serf ...

That bit he wrote about his ancestral home of, what was it called? Scumthorpe? On the basis of that piece being so unbelievably weird and disconnected from all ordinary social intercourse, couldn't we rush his application through and make him pissboy?

Pissboy of a fictitious House, an X-house, a non house, a mere placeholder for misfits, a halfway house (halfway to Canturbury by the looks of it, wink wink, nudge nudge) I mean just a place where he can sit and think and scratch his pair and <big>be a part of the tourney.</big> Whuddaya say, pleeez ?

Only because otherwise I'd be in a bit of a jam. I already sent off the file.

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Oh very good my Liege. In the best traditions of the Pool as the actual game does not matter. I apologize for doubting you. Can't be too careful these days you know.

I will defend the Shavian House (we have to do something about that name, sounds like a barber shop) against the limpwristed gits of House Persiflage. and not just the limpwristed gits, the Head Limpwristed Git. That's right dalem, I'm calling you out. You will see a setup in your mailbox in the morning. We are going to have the Battle of the Hangovers.

I will win, of course.

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Originally posted by athkatla:

]Yuk, the name of Scumthorpe makes me want to vomit! On a lighter note, reading of your liking for motor cycles, and your apparent interest, or maybe previous residential occupancy in the local area, did you make a return visit to my town on Wednesday for our Annual Bike Night? Over 5,000 bikes in the town for an evening of, "ohh isn't that a Triumph Bonnaville", ale and rock bands, oh and fish and chips!

Ale, fish and chips AND 5,000 motorcycles... of course this marks out Scunthorpe as a place of reverie and discernment populated by poets and lucscious Lincolnshire biker-babes?

At total odds to the rundown heap that is Grimsby, that boil on a noble estuary that feeds the glories of Cleethorpes from where any fish 'n' chip connoisseur can satisfy their need at Steels or stroll along the front and breathe the sweet smell of mud.

And doesn't Grimsby Town FC know this to be true? Lest we forget that Blundell Park is not actually in Grimsby but in Cleethorpes? Forever nomads in the butt-end of Division One, whereas The Steel heroically champion their home crowd.

*sigh* now it could have been worse. It could have been Hull.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

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