For the Record, I Am the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

[Mace]

Originally posted by athkatla:

mmm, what's this, more animal fondling?

Best left for we professionals.

Mace

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I COULD PROBABLY GET STUKA TO KILL YOU FOR A CASE OF BEER AND THE PHONE NUMBERS OF SOME AMERICAN NURSES DOING INTERNSHIPS IN OZZYLAND.

I'm cheaper. The phone numbers will suffice.

Mace

[Noba]

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possi...ble.

Noba.

Sigh. I'll find the gremlin. Later. Sod off.

[ July 26, 2002, 08:19 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Mace]

I love those little Red X's, Noba.

Mace

[Noba]

I love those little Red X's, Noba.

Mace

Me too. Grrrr.

Noba.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />I love those little Red X's, Noba.

Mace

Me too. Grrrr.

Noba.</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

When this superb scenario has shortly run it's inevitable course, I would be most pleased to give you a follow-up be-thrashing. Oh, don't let me FORCE you into accepting though...

Sir Flamin' AJ

Some Like It HOT!

A follow up thrashing? What do you mean, you want to play the scenario you designed and studied over for hours again?

Well, I can understand your desire to do that. After all it's the only time you've beaten me.

Let's run through the history of this little debacle, shall we?

First game: I'm the Germans defending an area I've never seen from the guy who designed the scenario and knows what all my units are and due to the narrow confines of the set-up area, has a good idea where I'm set-up. You scored a minor victory, but never got near the flag.

Game two: You play the defenders and after I suggest that I would have done a better job with a more open set-up area, you go ahead and GIVE yourself a bigger set-up area! And now you're beating me.

So save your crowing over your alleged "victory". We all know you're a gamey bastiche who sits around his double-wide in his boxers all day doing shots of nitrous oxide. You are a sad, deplorable man who is becoming more like Joe every day.

Speaking of which, Joe? From now on, whenever I think of you, I will picture Miss Jane Hathaway. You brought it on yourself.

[Panzer Leader]

The worst thing about Aussiejeff's atrocious desert terrain is when you actually play him. I have a good time beating him to a bloody pulp, but whenever I think about him viewing his demise on those desert plains, it almost doesn't make it worth it anymore.

Almost. It is still fun to make his soldiers weep for mercy.

Show a couple screenies from our game, Flamin' AJ! No amount of sand will hide the beating you took against my impenetrable Bosche defense.

Only a Whirling Dervish could hide the blood-soaked sahara from this battle. The bodies of your poor British/American (gamey bastiche) troops are more abundant than the craters from your artillery.

[Leeo]

My days are numbered. I've requested my last meal, and have chosen to forego the blindfold.

Yes, relatives will be descending upon my humble abode within a week. So eat, drink, and be merry (or was that do Mary?), for tomorrow we will be bumping elbows and figthting for first rights at our single bathroom to be used for 11 people. Thank heavens I'm a hick, as there are plenty of bushes and trees in need of watering.

Updates!

dalem may be on a quest for his own hate, but he can get it in bushels from me. We are playing OGSF's scenario called "Dunkirk." It's obviously not historical, because I'm the Germans, and those British boys have blown up a ton of my clanky things. I will continue to trickle my vast array of armor around the corner one at a time until he tires of the carnage.

MrSpkr had thought he had the flag in our little night scenario. Problem was, he was on the other side of the ridge and did not see my fellows on my side of the ridge (and around the flag). Now he is pissed and showing his teeth.

Wildman has resumed our nearly completed game where I pulled a student body right. I caught him by surprise, but it took too many turns, and I may have too few engineers left to dislodge his remaining tremble-boys from their cowering positions. They look cold, so I think I'll send in the flamethowers. Just for him, of course.

OGSF has learned that his beloved Brits can't compete with fall-germ-yackers when it is up close and personal. He's been dying lots, but there are still a disturbing number of Brits continuing to march to their doom. It must be Her Majesty's Lemming Brigade.

Now go away before I choose to ignore you a second time.

[Panzer Leader]

Hee Hee, our liitle friend didn't even get so much as a "Shut the Hell up!"

Just the quiet *click* of the padlock.

[Buzzsaw]

Originally posted by rune:

Buzzy, oh Buzzy...I have left you alone too long. * Boot * I have not seen a posting from you * Boot * in quite some time. Whom are you * Boot * playing at the moment?

Damn Serfs....never can find a good one. * Boot *

Rune

Yes, you have left me alone too long. Idle serfs are the devil's workshop, or some such thing. Id did post a unentertaining post decription of Sergeant Buzzsaw's exploits against Harv. Current games include one against Lars. I'll post an update as some as something interesting happens. I have also started a meeting engagement against athkatla, but I haven't had the time to return the file. Will do tonight.

[Joe Shaw]

Where are the really GOOD scenarios? I mean other than the fine creations of Ker Dessel*? All I asked for was a simple, small, quick scenario so I could thrash Panzer Leader and be about the important things in life, like trimming my toenails.

But NOOOOoooooo, Wildman provides this abortion of a scenario that is 30 TURNS LONG (not exactly what I'd call quick), has a map approximately the size of North Dakota and, speaking of North Dakota, is covered with snow! The only thing small about the game, other than the peas sized brain of it's creator, is the size of the force I've been allocated to defend with!

I suppose that should teach me to use an Air Force guy for a ground scenario.

Joe

* Ker Dessel, When You Want To Play CM In The Worst Way!

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

All I asked for was a simple, small, quick scenario so I could thrash Panzer Leader and be about the important things in life, like trimming my toenails.

Here you go Jo, two that are short and sweet:

Christmas Surprise (12 turns, tiny) and Unkindest Cut (15 turns, small).

Also, I have lowered myself to play that abomination of a QB that you sent me, even though the computer only gave me two conscript Kubelwagon. After I kick your spotty arse in this one, I'll send you a real battle.

[ July 26, 2002, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[Panzer Leader]

Joe, I know that your anticipation in our game may cause you to "take short cuts" as it were, or even to {gasp} just grab the first scenario that comes along, but I must re-iterate: I do not want TRASH! Find a good one, none of that Joke Shaw Cess-Toruney styled crap.

Wildman was obviously trying for a hilarious, grind-your-teeth sort of "Crodaburg Redux" and I am not sure if Marlow is trying to pull our legs with a "Jabo Returns" but let me put it this way:

If the scen is crap, our next game will be a 25 turn, 10 battle Operation. It'll be called "Normandy - The Complete Edition."

[imported_Wildman]

Oh the hatred PL I'm all abash. Well, actually, I felt that it would be fairly balanced.

Of course, I didn't test it, but part of the fun is watching you scream like a little eight year old about how this toy is like the other toys.

Anything to make you whine.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Speaking of which, Joe? From now on, whenever I think of you, I will picture Miss Jane Hathaway. You brought it on yourself.

I just get up, hungover from a Friday night's carousing, and I suddenly have a mental image of Jane Hathaway.

Not nice. Not nice at all.

Damn you, Boo-Radley.

Mace

PS btw convention dictates that Jane's name should not be bolded, she's just a SSN as far as the MBT is concerned.

[Geier]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I MEAN, A COUPLE OF HUNDRED U.S. DOLLARS IS A FORTUNE IN A LAND WITH A CURRENCY AS STABLE AND WELL REGARDED AS THE ITALIAN PARLIAMENT!.

S'right. That's why we only want payment in jewels. Or M'ing vases.

HELL, I COULD PROBABLY GET STUKA TO KILL YOU FOR A CASE OF BEER AND THE PHONE NUMBERS OF SOME AMERICAN NURSES DOING INTERNSHIPS IN OZZYLAND.

Even if we hate the git as much as the next guy (it's Peng) we simply don't accept Oz contracts. On account of it not existing. Read the very fine print, Addendum 890qt (applicable to all and any parts of the contract).

"Except Oztralia."

[OGSF]

Joe ye idjit. Send a feckin' turrn!

Stuka, Ah thought ye were busy mon? Ah'll gi' a turrn awah tae ye thas evein'.

Speedy, at's noo bin a fortnight.....yet.

Ah pounded tha saw dust oot o' Boo-Radley. Oot fought an' oot manhoovered tha wee bugger. Major victory tae Clan OGSF! Haes bin a wee bit quiet aboot tha rematch offer!

Hiram, hoo's at gwin laddie?

Lars began wi' nine PzMkIV/70s....12 turrrns later hae has wun laift. Och, an' a couple o' platoons eatin' 25lb'er shells.

Jus' thought Ah'd mainshun at.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

How repugnant I find this place. I do hate posting in a thread created by the mouse. It makes me feel creepy. Still, it is necessary.

Turns are out for the day. Call your relatives and spread the word. Here is my token excuse: Work

Stress has pummeled me into submission so that my head is constantly bowed and I struggle with chest pains. Life is violating me without the benefit of lube. My only bit of joy is that my life is still a little better than many of yours. I look around and see the dregs of society. That comforts me. I see our justicar and laugh at him. Still, he brings a chuckle that surprises me. It used to be pity that I felt for our favorite geriatric uncle. Too see such an old person in his dotage scamper about and demand things is quite amusing. He is quite the funny old codger. I do hope I haven’t hit upon a nerve in that so many of our readers are in their 40’s and 50’s.

No, wait. I hope I pissed you off. I hope you get the gumption to actually take the time and expend the effort to reply. If you read, then you should reply. In my limited time posting here in the Peng thread, I’ve seen so many fall by the wayside because of lack of initiative and boredom. They are discouraged by the autistic infant that created this thread. No, not the Peng ideal that we hold within our collective bosom. This thread. I was guilty of apathy many times and refused to post because I abhorred some and wanted to snuff the lives of others. It saddens me to see PeterNZer and Chupacabra making a home of General Forum but ignoring our place here. It discourages me to not read the rantings of Meeks or the clever writings of MarkIV. I do miss them.

There is some comfort in the knowledge that the Old Firm had decided to visit us once in a while and that my original opponent in my Squire Battle is still around.

I do this every 6 months, it's called reminiscing. Don't mind me, try some arsenic and get out of my face.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Mace:

PS btw convention dictates that Jane's name should not be bolded, she's just a SSN as far as the MBT is concerned.

Yeah, but she's a celebrity and she's dead,(I think) so I took a liberty. Don't you think Miss Jane deserves bolding? Look at what she put up with having to work for Mr. Drysdale for all those years. Not to mention the pain of her unrequited love for Jethro! Now imagine her, but see Joe in her place. It's fun, isn't it?

Originally posted by some erzatz Scot git:

Ah pounded tha saw dust oot o' Boo-Radley. Oot fought an' oot manhoovered tha wee bugger. Major victory tae Clan OGSF! Haes bin a wee bit quiet aboot tha rematch offer!

I was out getting drunk, trying to wash the taste of the unwarranted defeat I suffered at the hands of your Scottish Lowlifers. Did I say "hands"? More like prehensile tails.

Originally posted by that bringer of joy, Hiram:

Stress has pummeled me into submission so that my head is constantly bowed and I struggle with chest pains. Life is violating me without the benefit of lube.

Great! Hope that works out for you, man!

[Guest Mike]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Where are the really GOOD scenarios?

Grog dork!

[Moriarty]

Found amid other useless gamey update blatherings by Joe Shaw

Moriarty is as dead as his name suggests, I think. This is another one that I'm a bit foggy on but I mean hell, IT'S MORIARTY!

[yawn]Joe, you simpering lackwit, I sent you file No. 17 on 13 July 2002. [/yawn]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Geier:

Even if we hate the git as much as the next guy (it's Peng) we simply don't accept Oz contracts. On account of it not existing. Read the very fine print, Addendum 890qt (applicable to all and any parts of the contract).

"Except Oztralia."

S'alright, the artistry of the Old Firm would be wasted in Australia, a land where the natives drive souped up cars with homemade armour across a barren landscape while they attempt to rend each other with knives, Webleys, and sawed-off shotguns.

Oh, and on that note, please take note, but especially you Australians, who must know that your days are numbered, that I administered pretty much a 'crushing' to Noba!

Yes, indeed , an Allied (Brits) Tactical Victory over the forces of an Australian! Noba and I are now 1/1.

Despite the brutality of his Sturmtruppen Squads, which drove my Brit infantry off the VLs that we'd reached first in the ME, I prevailed.

My first defense of the VLs had to give way to the charge of his heavy squads, but I left one platoon to play the Thin Red Line while their fellows retired in as good order as they could onto the reserves of a platoon and Crommie VII. After slaughtering the defenders, Noba allowed his bloodlust to overcome his discretion, and pushed his massed Sturmtruppen forward to mop up the rest of my force.

Alas, alas Noba. My men, who'd retired in relatively good order despite his 81mm FO salute, put themselves into defensive order, and, stiffened and aided by the reserves, stopped their advance cold. The Crommie dealt out some heavy AFV justice on the advance, and other squads were decimated and broken by the wall of prepared infantry he ran into.

Meanwhile, the fight for the large hill overlooking the wooded VL location turned into a black hole for Noba's Rifle squads, who swarmed the hill the first time with a platoon and were cut down to a man. His second, sneak attack with forces kept in reserve looked to fare better, but a quick reversal of the defending troops that I'd been about to throw into the battle for the VLs brought these new invaders to a halt, and proceeded to maul them horribly.

Noba also proved unlucky in the AFV game, as his two Pzkw IVs had clearly never been given instruction in how to use their superiour German optics. A Crommie VII knocked out one that fired repeatedly at it for 6 shots, missing with all six shots by a significant margin. His final AFV (other than a cowardly Wespe that barely saw action) also missed any number of shots before it and the Crommie managed a simultaneous KO.

Meanwhile, Noba's 'infantry pursuit turned into retribution' streamed back toward the VLs only to come under devastating, held in reserve 4.2" and 3" mortar fire from my FOs, shattering any hope of rallying and holding the VLs. We moved forward to lash and flail the survivors, who, by this time, although devastated, were also pissed, and showed us their teeth.

The last of them were sent running except for a couple of platoon HQs that, outside all logic or fairness, the AI deemed sufficient to put control of one of the two VLs into question, clearly a decision of the judges that involved vote trading and blatant partisanship.

The final score reveals how much this hurt me, as it was 57-30. Without the disdain of the Australian favouring AI judges, my victory would have undoubtedly been higher.

Say this of the Australians: No matter how much you hate them, loathe them, disdain them, they remain damned hard to crush.

[ July 26, 2002, 11:24 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Noba]

Dear Grog Dork Joe....

Send a TURN, dammitt !!

Noba.

[Noba]

S'alright, the artistry of the Old Firm would be wasted in Australia, a land where the natives drive souped up cars with homemade armour across a barren landscape while they attempt to rend each other with knives, Webleys, and sawed-off shotguns.

I presume you have a point to make at this time...? Which piece of artistry (loosely called) are we comparing ? Gnome 'face painting' ?

Noba.