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One Peng to rule them all, one Peng to challenge them ...


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Originally posted by Slapdragon:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Some ****e

Though idjit of idjits, wanker of wanker, and dare I say, sodder of small-time tax collectors and their 17 year-old construction worker sons buttocks, I accept the challenge as stated so long as it is not amended by a sneaky little amendment. Not since I coshed a senior citizen speeder into sleep for a broken tail light have I been quite so pleased with the prospects of this looming victory.

Now, as for myself, I am quite the average player. But I am fearless as a ronin should be. Besides, I know that your danglees are currently well compressed by the weather that is traditionally the lot of people from the corn fed states, and that likely your brain is frozen as well. So lay on McDuff (down Bauhaus , that is Shakespear, a very early member of the Peng Thread with quite a naughty handle) and damned be him that first cries 'Hold! Enough! I fear not that the mindless will support you as an old one over an upstart, nor do I fear my complete loss of the game, only that I will die in a bloody brawl on the street before I should read the poem you will likely have to compose.

So send the turn GIT, and the first taunt is yours.</font>

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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Should you be adjudged the loser, both by score, and taunting, you will forever afterward, within the Peng Challenge Thread, acknowledge me as 'Liege'

Not so bloody fast the Seanachai. This one is MINE! He did me goodly service as squire and again in his knighting. I'll not have a sodding idjit such as yourself take that which I have bond in darkness. That you wish to joust with wit and blade against the noble Slapdragon is in the best tradition of the Mutha Beautiful Thread, but do not demand that which is not his to give.</font>
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Should you be adjudged the loser, both by score, and taunting, you will forever afterward, within the Peng Challenge Thread, acknowledge me as 'Liege'

Not so bloody fast the Seanachai. This one is MINE! He did me goodly service as squire and again in his knighting. I'll not have a sodding idjit such as yourself take that which I have bond in darkness. That you wish to joust with wit and blade against the noble Slapdragon is in the best tradition of the Mutha Beautiful Thread, but do not demand that which is not his to give.</font>
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Originally posted by Geier:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Better than Dynamo Fjordstumknacker FC.

You really try to live up to the Idjit in your name don't you? I know quite a bit about Scunthorpe and if you are so unfamiliar with the English language that you can't see what team gets the boot in the original statement you can add "Really Big" in front of Idjit.

And Swedes certainly seem to know how to run national sides wouldn't you agree? See you on June 2nd, loser.

And if I ever start a team we'll call ourselves Dynamo Fjordsturmknacker FC so you won't get any royalties.

Johan</font>

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This should be interesting,

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Though idjit of idjits, wanker of wanker, and dare I say, sodder of small-time tax collectors and their 17 year-old construction worker sons buttocks, I accept the challenge as stated so long as it is not amended by a sneaky little amendment. Not since I coshed a senior citizen speeder into sleep for a broken tail light have I been quite so pleased with the prospects of this looming victory.

Oooh! That's some damn fine taunting there from Slappy, I think Seanachai could be in a little trouble here (of some sort anyhow). Idjits, wankers, sodomy AND buttocks! Where does he come up with this stuff?
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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Nothing you say is ever reasonable or intelligent. Usually it is nothing more than hot air leaking out. Come to think of it, if the leak were to be fixed, we would never hear from Seanachai at all. How would this be a bad thing you ask? Hell if I know... we need a repairman in here

I'm going to repair him. I'm going to persiflage him. Setup on its way tomorrow.
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Originally posted by Seanachai:

[

So, in place of the 'Liege' bit, I require, Slapdragon, that in all future posts to me on the Peng Challenge Thread, you refer to me the 'Honourable Seanachai' (in full: 'Honourable' and 'Seanachai', both required whenever designating me might come up; no 'him, he, that one, etc.' you useless beggar. In addressing me personally in a post, you may substitute 'you' , as long as at least one mention of 'Honourable Seanachai' is made during the post).

Agreed sir, but the toady Simon Fox must not have a vote that counts in this. Keep him if you must and can stand his messes, but he reeks of the boots of Brian (plus the gnarly things have scratched the poor sods tongue) and thus must be kept off of the Pool's carpets lest we anger the cleaning people.

Otherwise I will indeed meet you on the field of honor both in taunt and in action, to commence after work tomorrow when you complete your deep thinking on how the heck you will get through all that open space alive.

Or in better language, bring it on jack. (More politely, as an old one, it should be jack .)

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Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Well, that's okay then, isn't it? Know about Cleethorpes, too? Know which fish 'n' chip shop is the best, eh? Know how many piers its got? Seen the long, sandy beeches? Answer me that, Mr Scunthorpe United expert. And Doncaster, too, don't forget Doncaster.

Yeknod

Milords and Ladies, I give you a creature that, when portrayed as a donkey, demures not. When abused, becomes more affectionate. When tasked with unnatural affections, merely exaggerates them.

But when confronted with a foreigner who claims knowledge of his land and sporting teams, becomes deeply bothered and aggressive.

But in spite of all temptations

To belong to other nations

He remains an Englishman

He remains an Englishman

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Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Agreed sir, but the toady Simon Fox must not have a vote that counts in this. Keep him if you must and can stand his messes, but he reeks of the boots of Brian (plus the gnarly things have scratched the poor sods tongue) and thus must be kept off of the Pool's carpets lest we anger the cleaning people.

Goodness me surely you don't think that it will be a close run thing do you? That a single vote will tip the balance? Let's have some backbone here Slappy, you ought to romp it in. I have every confidence in you. I am sure you will rise far far above your previous levels of performance to entirely new heights.
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Guest PondScum

Dalem, may your hair grow ever more greasy, I bring you the ears of the donkey. Smitten as he was with the fair Seanachai, he failed to take the time to educate his donkeytruppen in the art of urban combat - or even to move them all into town before my Parisian waiters had claimed dibs on the outskirts for a spot of boules. In the firefight that followed Pierre and his friends showcased their peculiarly French approach to "combined arms warfare", viz knocking down large buildings with bazookas and 60mm mortars.

92-8, with Idjit Yeknod surrendering just as I was getting to the good bit (i.e., mowing down his routed troops as they fled crying for their mommas).

Oh, did I mention the artillery? 105mm dropped every single sodding turn. We hate Berli. But in deference to Persephone, the donkey's paddock is untouched.

Your Francophobic squire,

PondScum

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Okay, I’m back. Try not to stifle that yawn. I’ll try my best to send out the turns I owe tonight. I’ve been busy. I won’t bore you with the details, but I spent the last couple of days in a South Jersey hospital with my girlfriend. I have a new and profound respect for ICU nurses. They appear a bit burly and evil from the outside, but they are quite compassionate and competent. I’m grateful that they didn’t swat me like a buzzing gnat. My love is now out of ICU and is begging her doctor to send her home.

So, a couple of points:

Bauhaus, mention the Eagles on more time and I will rip out your colon and mail it to your next of kin. They can sign for the package as the fetid stench of your idiocy reminds them of their shameful excuse for a scion.

Croda, congratulations on your team winning. I am oh so happy for you. Just understand that my abhorrence for all things Croda is still boundless and all encompassing. I hope you get impaled repeatedly with a nailgun.

Elvis thanks for hosting one kick ass party. Jack is already more handsome and intelligent than Bauhaus

MRPeng you should have been there. Shame on you.

Berli and Patch the thing you sent was received. The recipient and her brother are grateful.

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Hmm... put this one on your list of things NOT to do...

m. Partake of too much alcohol on your flight to Australia...

4. Arrive at Customs in a feisty mood, inwardly laughing about all the Mace et al. jokes that have been passed around the forum...

mcmxlii. Respond to the Customs Agent in the following manner:

Agent: Passport?

Reply: there you go (handing it over)

Agent: Purpose of Visit?

Reply: Business...

Agent: Length of stay?

Reply: About a week...

Agent: Criminal Record?

Reply: Nope, sorry, didn't know you still required one...

(yeah, yeah, this is a poach off another board, but I like it, so you'll all just have to suffer)

[edited 'cause I said I would]

[ February 04, 2002, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

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Originally posted by PondScum:

Dalem, may your hair grow ever more greasy, I bring you the ears of the donkey. Smitten as he was with the fair Seanachai, he failed to take the time to educate his donkeytruppen in the art of urban combat - or even to move them all into town before my Parisian waiters had claimed dibs on the outskirts for a spot of boules. In the firefight that followed Pierre and his friends showcased their peculiarly French approach to "combined arms warfare", viz knocking down large buildings with bazookas and 60mm mortars.

92-8, with Idjit Yeknod surrendering just as I was getting to the good bit (i.e., mowing down his routed troops as they fled crying for their mommas).

Oh, did I mention the artillery? 105mm dropped every single sodding turn. We hate Berli. But in deference to Persephone, the donkey's paddock is untouched.

Your Francophobic squire,

PondScum

Excellent work, Algae-Boy! I knew you could do it. You may remove one of your punishment clasps for the night.
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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by dalem:

Excellent work, Algae-Boy! I knew you could do it. You may remove one of your punishment clasps for the night.

Well, er, there might be, er, other circumstances that you might want to take into consideration before going that far, mon petite general. In fact, it appears that in my eagerness to smack down Noba, I might have, um, <font size=-2>sent him a file with my password in it</font>, not to put too fine a point on it. Been a bit of a Nobbit, in fact.

[Edited to remove Seanachai's blame. Not in general, just in this case]

[ February 05, 2002, 04:40 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

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Originally posted by PondScum:

Are you saying that you left your communicator in Bela's office on Beta Iotia II?

Oh, and I just want to say

FLAMETHROWERS

No reason, I just like seeing the word, I guess.

[ February 04, 2002, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: dalem ]

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Truly, gentles all, it is a glorious new day. The New England Patriots have, in a few scant hours erased decades of ignominy by treating the St. Louis Ewes (it's just a name, Mace) like the wooly, cuddly livestock they are. Huzzah!

And I now have a cable ISP. The world is my oyster. All your base are belong to us. Make your time. Buwahaha.

Oh, and I owe Geier a turn. He has accomplished the amazing feat of over-running an understrength theatrical company with a battalion of over-sexed Hamstertruppen. Now it's my turn. Payback is a bitch.

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Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Bauhaus, mention the Eagles on more time and I will rip out your colon and mail it to your next of kin. They can sign for the package as the fetid stench of your idiocy reminds them of their shameful excuse for a scion.

Eagles..........
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Originally posted by bauhaus:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Bauhaus, mention the Eagles on more time and I will rip out your colon and mail it to your next of kin. They can sign for the package as the fetid stench of your idiocy reminds them of their shameful excuse for a scion.

Eagles..........</font>
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