Seanachai Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: I hope you'r proud of yourself, turning this man's life into a Fellini-esque nightmare...That won't begin until Dalem has Joe, I and the other Minnesota miscreants over for seared meat and alcohol on Sunday. Look for a home in Nord East going on the market dirt cheap in the Monday classifieds... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 22, 2002 Author Share Posted August 22, 2002 Ahh, here it is. The Redneck Neighbor site. Just follow the example set by this guy's neighbor, and you'll have that idiot living next to you begging for mercy, dalem. No, no, there's no need to thank me. Just pay my bill on time (and in cash, of course). Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Dalem Real people can really suck. Maybe you should just become a shut-in and play Combat Mission all day. Everyone has probably seen this before, but I'll include this link to a bad neighbor story anyway: The Redneck Neighbor . Game Updates I had two and half very enjoyable turns against Lars. (Is there anything better than pounding infantry with direct fire HE?) Unfortunately, my smokescreen has lifted, revealing a nasty German kitty. It has destroyed one of my tanks, and sent two others running for cover. I have yet to get anywhere near an objective, but I might have one or two more surprises up my sleeve.... Lurker and I have traded about 25 or 30 emails, but only 4 or 5 functional turn files. I think he is trying to open my Zip files with the little Orphan Annie decoder ring. Lurk it might be time to get a real computer. You are going to want it for CMBB anyway. I am gone next week, so I will wait until the following week to start games with Marlow and Terrence. I haven't even properly taunted Terrence yet -- I may have to [shudder] read some of his old posts to be properly inspired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 22, 2002 Author Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Buzzsaw: Plagiarism.Hah! Try to steal MY idea, will you? You just made the List, pal! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 I see that everyone has seen the site before. I hope I'm not in for a copyright infringement case from MrSpkr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Damn it! Always one post behind MrSpkr. How embarrassing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Hey Buzzy, I've got just the ticket for your game with Terry. A little somefink originally dreamed up for Slopeknoggen and some other SSN. I'll send it your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Hirsute Hiram’s Gamey Update Croda & My Sexuality Not sure if I should list them as opponents any more. I abhor one and am ambiguous about the other one. I wonder which is which... [ August 22, 2002, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Croda ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Marlow: Hey Buzzy, I've got just the ticket for your game with Terry. A little somefink originally dreamed up for Slopeknoggen and some other SSN. I'll send it your way.Take your time. Buzzsaw's tiny mind can only handle one or two thoughts a week, (Fewer if you expect him to wash and feed himself.) so it will be some time before he can ready himself for a new game with a new opponent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 There once was a boy named Terry whose visage was frightening and scary. In place of his nose, was a small rubber hose, and a pump to keep his head so airy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 There once was a lackwit named Buzz Whose brains were made from fuzz. When asked by his mum, Why her son was so dumb, He answered simply "becuz". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 [Pours boiling oil on both Terence and Buzzsaw] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 It's time for some game updates from Serf Treeburst155. I know you don't care; but read it anyway before you Sod Off. Grog Dorosh: He MIGHT hold on to a small VL located deep in the woods. He's starting to send turns at a much faster rate too. He wouldn't give me the time of day when he was playing Roxy. Herr Oberst: I have taken over this game from Roxy. I have no idea what she was thinking with this attack. Her planning and tactics appear to have been inspired by a jaunt through Wal-Mart with an oversized handbag. I'm really counting on Herr Oberst's incompetence here. I feel certain he won't disappoint. Mr Spkr: This is another one I inherited from Roxy. This one doesn't look too bad, probably because Mr Spkr couldn't fend off an attack from Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. My French infantry are riding out an 81mm arty strike in nice open ground. He's wasting ammo. Moriarty: He's trying to take a large town in the center of a map he created. He just might do it. Why? HE SPENT 1,800 POINTS ON 300MM ROCKETS!!! I asked him to be sure and buy some arty because I like to watch splodey things in my games. That's all I said. It was just a simple little request. HE SPENT 1,800 POINTS ON 300MM ROCKETS!!! Oh, sorry. I said that already. His rocket attack, and a Mutha Beautiful one it was(I replay the movie daily), incapacitated and decapitated fully 25% of my infantry IN HEAVY BUILDINGS!! What it did to my eight Pershings I can't say in the interest of preserving and enhancing the already abundant FOMB (Fog Of Moriarty's Brain). Moving on to real life.... Roxy sends her love to all her Heroes, and asked me to say that she misses you all terribly, especially Sherriff Joe. Please take this opportunity to ponder your worthless existence, your utter failure as human beings, and the desolation of your souls. Meditate on these issues for a short time. This will make it much easier for you to understand why I'm more than pleased to tell you to SOD OFF NOW!! Serf Treeburst155 out. [ August 22, 2002, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Lurkur: [Pours boiling oil on both Terence and Buzzsaw]One day off in Hell for that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Work interferes with CM!! Out of work for 4 years, now I'm back in work I hardly have time to play and read the MBT! Life's funny, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Right. A song then. I wanted to do a sing-song for The Scunthorpian Donkey but it took me some time to find a tune which he'd appreciate. Not like or enjoy maybe, just something he could get his hair down and boogie to. Please please please, let me get what I want (if he don't know the artist I'll tell him. But methinks he does.) Good times for a change see, the luck I've had can make a good man turn bad So please please please let me, let me, let me let me get what I want this time Haven't had a dream in a long time see, the life I've had can make a good man bad So for once in my life let me get what I want Lord knows it would be the first time Lord knows it would be the first time {Really Rocking mandolin solo} fade out These here lyrics was brought to you by The Old Firms Public Relations Dept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lurkur: [Pours boiling oil on both Terence and Buzzsaw]One day off in Hell for that</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: Work interferes with CM!! Out of work for 4 years, now I'm back in work I hardly have time to play and read the MBT! Life's funny, isn't it?Yes, I imagine it's difficult splitting your time between playing CM and your new duties as Assistant Night Manager at Burger King. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by Lars: Just what is a guy supposed to do with the day off in Hell, Berli? Go to the beach?Do I really look like someone who give a s**t what he does with his day off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Isn't infinity minus 1 still infinity? Oh...you knew that Berli , Nevermind... Rune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 An unlicensed hunter was afraid he’d be outed. His den had more trophies than could ever be counted. But the hunter named Lars, ended up behind bars, and now he is the one who is mounted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: Life's funny, isn't it?Not really, and that's not why everyone around you is always laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Did somebody mention the bar? And now, if you would all bow your heads. Lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillage's, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not into incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is The Beer, The Bitter and The Lager, Forever and ever. Barmen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 Serf Treeburst155 is at peace with the world as he sits in his command center, an ice cold Sam Adams in hand, with all PBEMS caught up. He is especially happy because he knows most of the poor slobs on The MBT are at work right now. Poor sods, he thinks to himself. Ah well, it's their own fault for not finding a gal like Roxy to support them. Let's look in on Treeburst155's afternoon, shall we? As boring as it will be for you, it's certainly more interesting than your afternoon at work. After all, how interesting can flipping burgers be? Treeburst: Hehe...this new sub-woofer oughta make that Moriarty rocket barrage sound real good. With Roxy gone I can really crank this baby up, too. Geez, that Moriarty is a gamey bastiche, ain't he? Now where's that file...ah yes, here we go... For sixty seconds Treeburst thrills to the sights and sounds of "The Barrage". The walls shake. He cackles with glee. His beer falls over. He does not care. He's in the promised land! Treeburst: Holy shi&te that was good! I think next time I'll count how many screams I hear. Gotta love that Scipio sound mod...great stuff it is. I can really FEEL the agony...hehe. Let's see if there's anything new on The MBT. Maybe Joe Shaw's plane crashed on the way to Minneapolis. Better yet, maybe Muck has been sent to Coventry. Ooops, looks like I need to grab another beer first. Bursting through the front door, earlier than expected, comes Roxy. This without opening the screen door first, which now hangs askew on one hinge, a gaping hole in the screen. Her bonny cheeks are flushed red with anger. With clenched jaw, and hands on hips she starts in on poor Treeburst, the object of her wrath.... Roxy: Why you....you....MEANY!! How dare you have my BFC account cancelled!! You want YOUR ban lifted, so you get MY account cancelled!! Do you have any idea how much Sherriff Joe will miss me?! DO YOU?!! Don't just stand there like a dumbass, ANSWER ME! Treeburst: But Roxy, honey, you're not real! Everyone knows that now, even Joe Shaw. Only Grog Dorosh still thinks you're real. Roxy: Why you....you....MEANY!! How's this for "REAL", huh ?! Hurls lamp at Treeburst, missing his head by inches. Was that real enough for you?! How about all the times I've crushed you on the CM battlefield?! Were those not REAL defeats for you?! I should never have taught you how to play CM. You don't deserve it, you ungrateful, account cancelling MEANY! I'm so disgusted with you I may poison your supper tonight. Now you get on that 'puter and make sure Madmatt doesn't close my account! Do it right now! After that, get out in the heat and mow that back lawn like I asked you to this morning. I said "NOW" you....you....MEANY! Treeburst sulks to his command center, all fond memories of "The Barrage" forgotten. He never did get that second beer. Treeburst: Holy crapola! I've never seen her so pissed before....and she hasn't even seen the spilled beer yet. It's gonna be a rough night. If only I could send her to Coventry. Yeah, Coventry, that's the ticket. Treeburst155 out. [ August 22, 2002, 05:15 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 22, 2002 Author Share Posted August 22, 2002 Wonders idly if Roxy might be returning. 'After all,' he muses, 'she's certainly a lot more interesting than this Treeburst fellow. Shame she's gone.' He pauses, stretching. 'Hmmm, if only she would sue to re-enter the Muthah Beautiful Thread. That would be great. This Treeburst guy would be history, Roxy would return, and it would irritate the heck out of the Justicar and probably Marlow, too.' 'Hmmmmmm. The fees could put my kids through college as well. I'll have to put some thought into this option.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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