_Axe_ Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 To: Mr. Jim Boggs From: Canada Post, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Re: Urgent mail request Thank you for complaint/comment and/or compliment. It has been forwarded to the appropriate department. Please wait four to six weeks for a reply. I.M.A. Bureaucrat 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Is it just me or has any of you worthless steamy coils of fecal matter been struck by the irony of the plight that is Axe2121 The Tale of Canadian Editting Nong Scene opens in a Canadian suburb, with a flannel clad man jumping about his office giggling with glee. His wife enters the room Paula: What are doing you odd, moose-humping prevert. Jason: Oh dear, the most amazing thing has occured in my entire, most unremarkable journalistic career. Paula: You got a job that actually pays you? I hope you didn't fall for that Canadian versus US dollars trick again. Jason: No, this is sooo much better. I have been accepted as an editor for the new CMAK scenario briefings.....oh my, oh what a glorious day. Paula: The what for the what? Jason: COMBAT MISSION...the new game. Paula: Oh that...isn't that the little tank game you play? Jason: "The little tank game"? Dear, Combat Mission is only the most historic, balanced and well-designed game in my entire sorry existence. Paula: Yes, dear, that's nice. Jason: This is so great. Paula: So what exactly do have to do. Jason: Well, the wonderful people at Battlefront.com will send me scenario briefings and I will proof-read, correct and then send them back immediately if not sooner. Paula: So, what you are saying is that on top of the hours you waste playing that game you are going to be spending MORE time proof reading for the next game. Jason: Um, well....I suppose you COULD put it like that. Paula: And you get paid for this? Jason: Um, no, not exactly honey-bunny. Paula: Do you get a free game or anything? Jason: Um, not exactly. Paula: Do you get the game before anyone else? Jason: Um,.....no. Paula: Do you get ANYTHING? Jason: They are going to put MY NAME in the game manual. Paula: *rolls eyes* Great, I can't wait to tell my parents, they will be so proud. Fast forward three months Paula: Jason, get back in the house. The postman doesn't come on Sundays and you are standing in four feet of snow. Jason: But, he will be here in less than twelve hours. Paula: Get inside now!!! And put on your good flannel shirt my folks are coming over later. Jason: *Dejectedly trudging back into house, carefully wiped the moose poop off of his mukluks.* Yes dear. [ December 10, 2003, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: mike_the_wino ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by mike_the_wino: The Tale of Canadian Editting Nong BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Oh...my.... wino must have scored that MD 20/20! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keke Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by mike_the_wino: Is it just [me] or has any of you...been struck by the irony of the plight that is Axe2121I would say The Brood is not unhappy. :mad: :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aces_and_8's Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Aces_and_8's: I'm guessing when you set up, you placed some next to my units, got one on a second story floor above a IIC, one co-located, with an infantry unit, second floor of another building, and a third which is infantry sounds in the middle of a dirt road. Picked em up when I was plotting my first move. Yes indeed - some of my chaps do seem to be rather close to some of yours - still...I'm sure we can sort it out with some good natured TNT chucking in a few seconds - if the grenades go down your hatch then I win, if they don't then you do........seems eminently reasonable as a contest!! </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 The Canadian Editing Nong, Act 1 Scene 2 Vermont, 25th Floor, BFC Towers Steve: MATT! Get in here NOW! Madmatt: What is it boss? Steve: How come we have a briefing that spells 'through' as 'threw'? Madmatt: You're criticising someone else's spelling? Steve: Christmas can be very unpleasant for the unemployed, Matthew. Madmatt (hastily): I blame those two nongs that Rune got to do the proof-reading. Steve: Why? Who did he get? Madmatt: Axe1212 and Mr.Spkr. Steve: You got a Texan and a Canadian to do the proof-reading? Couldn't you at least find someone who speaks English? Madmatt: We could, but they wanted paying. Steve: Right! I want a full scale investigation, and fit the 75L42 to the Weasel. In the meantime neither of them gets the game until this is sorted out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by Firefly: The Canadian Editing Nong, Act 1 Scene 2 This stuff is great!!!!! I'm thinking mini-series. :cool: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Pssssssssstttttttttttttttt Axe A French Beta Tester even got his before you got yours. Rune 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by rune: Pssssssssstttttttttttttttt Axe A French Beta Tester even got his before you got yours. Rune Now that is just downright nasty....well done rune. You ARE as evil as your scenarios would indicate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by Soddball: Alllllllrighty you MAGGOTS! Why is it that of the five setups I sent out, only two of you stinking whores replied?! So where the hell did you send my setup? Because you sure didnt send it to the right adress. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Dear Mister Wino, Thank you, thank you. You may select a region and date and I will create a scenario for your use. As an extra bonus, you may select a name of your choosing to be placed within said scenario in a unit that you pick. Seanachai and Soddball, Did you both receive the scenario I sent for your Battle Royale? Tradition states that you actually acknowledge getting the work someone has done for you. I hope it causes you much gnashing of teeth. Rune 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by rune: Dear Mister Wino, Thank you, thank you. You may select a region and date and I will create a scenario for your use. As an extra bonus, you may select a name of your choosing to be placed within said scenario in a unit that you pick. Seanachai and Soddball, Yes, those two lads will be fine. Put Seanachai as an Aussie vehicle. Be it either a "Dingo" or an ATR carrier it matters not. The ATR has limited range, slow ROF and is an overall impotent vehicle, not unlike the Gnome hisself. While the Dingo is a smallish, ill-tempered, wild dog. Additionally, Seanachai hates things Aussie. Overall, either would be a good fit. Soddy strikes me as more of an Italian vehicle type. Maybe one of the unwieldy 20mm auto-cannon trucks. Ugly, full of sound and fury but lacking any real useful purpose. Set in a vineyard as both are hopeless sauce monkeys. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 mike_the_wino — as much as I hate to admit it, that was hilarious, well written and witty. Who wrote it for you? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 And Firefly — you just earned yourself a setup. When I get the game. :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by Axe2121: snipped typically lame, cut-and-paste, lazy, commie, yellow journalist ****e feh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted December 10, 2003 Author Share Posted December 10, 2003 Originally posted by Axe2121: And Firefly — you just earned yourself a setup. When I get the game. :mad: If you get the game. :mad: :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soddball Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 SNOOKER!!!!!!!!!! Send me that damn file in normal format, you whore, and send it to me gotadsl address wot I sent it to you from! Winzip does NOT open .pbm files unless PBEM helper tells it how to, you FESCES SPEWING PUSS LIPPED MAGGOT GARGAHHAGRARAHARGHAGARAHG!!!! :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soddball Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 :mad: :mad: SCATMUNCHER! :mad: :mad: I have sent your turn to you so that I can kick your saggy, gnome-shaped arse. Learn to fear the power of The Brood and the Cheery Waffle! You stink! GARHAGRAHGRHAHRAHARAHGRAhgARH!!!! Let all know I do this for the honour of The Brood, and the crushing of the evil gnome from the Pegs Challenge will clear our way to universal domination! :mad: I plan to keep detailed AAR records of this one, and I hope Seanpoochie will too, so that this clash of the Tits will be remembered in posteriors! :mad: GRHARAHARHARAHRGARAGAARRRGHGH!!!! :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I arrive home, open the mailbox and what do I see? The key to 1A, the parcel post container in our community mailbox! Hardly able to contain my excitement I open the door and pull out the slender parcel....only to find it is filled with wedding photos from my father-in-law. Just wait until I see him at Christmas. :mad: Oh well, off to read for the night. Could be worse.* *Note how stoic I am. NOTE HOW EFFING STOIC I AM!!! GRGA GRAG ARGG G ARG G RAG G GG GAGR G ARGGRGG AGR G RG RAG G AR GGGGGARG AGR !!!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Stoicism? Nah, that's merely an acceptance of how f*ed up being Canadian and how much your life sucks. Glad to see you are at least at peace with your suck-a-tude. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Gallear Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I don't normally even read Peng Posts - but Mike the Wino got me going! As I don't have a wife to impress ! I am not the Green Rascal - I thought he was one of you lot :eek: Matrix did manage to send me a free copy of SPWAW as well as putting my name on it, but I got no money! I just sent them my campaign Normandy Gold -Which I did fun - I didn't even think they would put in the game just on the Raider Site for people to download. I don't know if Rune should play SPWAW, maybe he should ask Wild Bill Wilder . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by Mark Gallear: I don't normally even read Peng Posts...Lizzen up you pile of moldy, rat scrat, this ain't no stinking Cesspool. You want the nongs down that way. *gestures at the floor* Take the stairs down, follow the smell of sulfur, and when you get to the Gates of Hell (no, not Bill Gates, he resides further down), and hang a left. Look for mutated, unwashed, babbling, sauce monkeys flinging fesces at each. Then you will be in the Penguin Pool. Dumb F*er. :mad: :mad: :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by Mark Gallear: I don't normally even read Peng Posts Or thread titles either.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 That's it.....just a little closer..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keke Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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