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Mad, bad and dangerous to post in -- it's the Cheery Waffle Thread


_Axe_

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Originally posted by Snarker:

GRaaaaRRGH!!!!! You pine cone chuckin' maggot!!!! Email me with the address you want the files to go to. I seem to remember it wasn't a hot mail addy last time you basted and flambeed me.

Email sent, maggot! :mad:
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Woot! Just got another turn from an Aussie friend of mine in a CMBB game we're playing (it's by rune but I won't mention the name to avoid spoiling).

Anyway, I watched as one of my SU-122S's drew a bead on the side of a Tiger II...I was sure that it was going to have no effect when BOOOM! the Tiger blows to kingdom come. It was quite enjoyable. smile.gif

Of course, right after that, two JagdPanthers managed to immobilize my otherwise invulnerable IS-3s. :mad: :mad:

Anyway...hats off to rune for this scenario, the best I've played since Franko's Tank Warning.

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Originally posted by Axe2121:

Keke and Becket are racing to 1,000.

Who will win?

Stay tuned.

Luckily it doesn't measure the quality of the posts or we'd be waiting forever. tongue.gif

Nevermind tiptoes apprehensively through the wheatfields hoping beyond hope that there's nothing lurking there, ready to rip open the shower-curtain on his Tigers and go REEE, REEEE, REEEE!! :mad: :mad:

psyee.gif

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Triumph/Robert Smigel is my idol.

Conan sics dog on Quebec

DAY 3: Triumph makes Don Cherry look like a moderate

By BILL BRIOUX

Don Cherry, you are so off the hook. Last night on American network television, Triumph The Insult Comedy Dog pooped all over the province of Quebec. Talk about puppets who kill. Triumph, as performed by writer Robert Smigel, is a cheesy, rubber Rottweiler hand puppet who smokes a cigar, sounds like Ricky Ricardo on crack and barks insults at everyone within range.

He's a Dachshund Don Rickles. He's their Ed The Sock (so much so that Ed operator Steve Kerzner was told to punch out early and steer clear of Monday's Conan O'Brien love-in at MuchMusic).

The bit is a staple of Late Night With Conan O'Brien, so you had to know, sooner or later, Triumph would cross the border and be unleashed on Canadians. Who knew he would turn up at the Quebec Winter Carnival?

On the recent TV critics press tour in L.A., a clip of Triumph goofing on American Idol contestants had critics in stitches.

It was funnier than any new show we saw for this spring.

But it is hard to imagine any francophone Canadian laughing today. Triumph's whole act is to find the nerve and hit it. Last night, he picked away at a scab that never quite heals in this country. Bad dog.

"I can tell you are French -- I can smell your crotch from here," a beret-wearing Triumph said to one over-styled downtown dude. His victims seemed shocked and uncomprehending.

"You're French and Canadian? That means you're obnoxious and dumb?" he barked at one man who refused to get upset.

A translator then had the brutal task of insulting these Carnival goers in their own tongue.

One couple showed the dog their backs.

"You're in North America -- learn the language," Triumph heckled.

And later: "Are you separatists? Listen carefully: Do you hear that? It's the sound of nobody giving a crap."

Zut alors. This stuff would have offended Don Cherry. Quebec will finally want to separate -- from the United States.

"I thought Babar lived in Paris," Triumph goofed on one tubby.

"Are you a separatist? Maybe you should try separating yourself from doughnuts first."

Maybe this stuff kills Stateside where they're still smarting from France's firm "non" to the war in Iraq. That would explain this crack: "I only know the basic French expressions -- like, 'I surrender.' "

Heaping insult on injury: "You're like the Canada of Canada."

Mon Dieu! In one night, Triumph flushed 72 hours of amazing Can-Am goodwill straight down the toilet. It was as if the O'Brien folks felt the tidal wave of love was way out of hand. Dammit, we're an edgy band of satirists. No one is safe.

There were shots at Celine Dion (a target all week) and Cirque du Soleil. The sweet Carnival custom of kids scooping hot syrup dripped in the snow on to popsicle sticks was followed by Triumph lifting a leg and expelling a similar golden liquid. Cut to the kids again lapping it up.

In a move that would dismantle the CBC if anyone on Air Farce or This Hour Has 22 Minutes ever tried it, Triumph went straight to the heart of Bill 101. French language street signs in Quebec City were replaced with English signs reading, "Rue de Pussies" and "Celine Dion Sucks Street."

The Elgin Theatre rocked with laughter, but it was that nervous, "I can't believe it" kind. Bringing O'Brien's show to Toronto may help tourism here, but it may kill tourism in Florida.

No Quebecer will ever want to visit the States again.

Stunningly, after the show, O'Brien treated the theatre audience to what was presented as a bonus: more anti-Quebec venom from Triumph. The main target here was the Bonhomme du Carnival, the smiley snowman Triumph called a "corporate whore" and "the Michelin Man's gay cousin."

"Look at him," Triumph shouted at the mobbed mascot. "That's how Hitler got started."

Even poutine was savaged. "It looks like Bonhomme took a dump on my french fries."

Triumph/Smigel finally persuaded an ice sculptor to add a snow likeness of a dog humping a reclining Bonhomme. "Your tax dollars at work, Canada!" he yelped, a phrase sure to be repeated in both official languages around the House of Commons today.

Now, nothing is sacred to Triumph. He goofs on everything American, too. But try to imagine if Mike Bullard had taken his show to Alabama, cavorted in blackface and tossed watermelons at bandleader Orin Isaacs. More than softwood lumber would be sacrificed.

How was the rest of the show? Adam Sandler showed his sweet, quiet side, making fun of his own sexual prowess and talking about the recent death of his dad.

"I do miss him," said Sandler.

He joked that the old man was probably up in Heaven with his old Saturday Night Live pal Chris Farley.

"You wanna go watch Adam in the shower," he imagined Farley saying.

"All right, I'm going to go spy on J.Lo."

Sandler came out in a parka, another dig at our cold weather.

He stayed well past his segment, shaking hands and signing autographs with fans in the front rows. A real mensh.

It took three days, but there was another first last night: a film clip (hyping Sandler's new movie, 50 First Dates). That's how extraordinary these shows are: even the movie companies have to take a back seat.

O'Brien's skill as an interviewer was also something to admire.

He listens, advances the story and moves it all effortlessly to a tidy conclusion and on to the next topic. The zingers fly smartly straight out of his head.

At the end, Stompin' Tom Connors led the 1,200 strong through all three periods of The Hockey Song. Leafs 1, Montreal 0.

Preparation H Raymond (writer/comedian Brian McCann) made his first Canadian appearance and even switched brands.

Boxes of Canadian ass ointment Nupercainal was tossed into the crowd by comely assistants.

One woman in the balcony nearly lost an eye.

Too bad there's no salve for the ass-kicking Quebec took last night.

From here.

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Just so everyone knows I can insult without prejudice:

You Know You're Canadian When:

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars, and drink pop, not soda.

You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing u's from labor, honor, and color.

You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

You know what a toque is.

You've plugged a car in overnight.

You've defended your property from trespassers with a hockey stick because you don't own a gun.

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Crikey! Another 2nd place finish...

Top Alliances: Zions Fury (209337 average score), Cheery Waffles (184113), Khoraliz (104609), Peeps (76729), Crimson Brigade (76068), New Khoraliz (68748)

At least we help keep the usually lamers out of first, I guess. My question is if mr Becket was playing, why didn't he join us? =(

And where was Axe? :mad: Cripes! Even Dorosh was playing, albeit undercover. But no Axe. =.(... :mad: :mad:

We also got Waffle and Waffle-related honorable mentions:

Top Unalliance Players: Dave H (490949 score), Zeebat (369295), Conscientious Observer (335050), Chavez (204901), Elawyn (183617), Storme (101369)

Most buildings: Zidus, Kitty, Dave H

Kitty

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Originally posted by Kitty:

My question is if mr Becket was playing, why didn't he join us? =(

Mainly because I had no intention of playing, but the only way you can watch what's happening is to create a fief.

Then, to avoid turning into a money farm for other players, I realized I need to dump my money after I logged in, which I did by buying universities.

Imagine my suprise when I found that I had vaulted into the top 10. :eek: :eek: :eek:

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Originally posted by Becket:

Then, to avoid turning into a money farm for other players

We wouldn't have made you do that. We love you. =(

We never asked that from anyone. Whoever volunteerd to give was the one who did. Last game I'd say the biggest volunteer was smope.

Kitty

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More info you didn't need to know:

Subject: Top 30 Prestige: - [Edit Post]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fey 2151.4

Boots 2038.9

Aaragath 2017.1

Depus 1641.7

Krazi 1630.9

AngusThorn 1514.3

Zeebat 1432.3

Smithson 1357.5

Ahlgren 1275.5

Chaucer 1212

86smopuiM 1199.8

Kitty 1165.1

emrys 1153.4

Viha 1096.3

Ameritus 1049.4

rleete 1048.5

Phantom 1035.2

Corran 1023.6

Mace 1004

Lurkur the Bold 1000.5

Puzzler 997.6

MuyBien 956.1

Boo Radley 928.1

Tank 876

nPawn 859.1

Leeo 855.4

Elawyn 834.5

Storme 831.9

vampire 811.6

Khadgar 805

I also find it appalling that Minirva attacked Aaragath like 30 times in one turn so he could win... as they asked me to "lay off" (I was attacking her every turn for like 20 prestige each go every turn) her because she had joined their alliance.

I thought attacking one's own alliance was against the rules.

Kitty

[ February 16, 2004, 10:46 PM: Message edited by: Kitty ]

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Originally posted by Kitty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Becket:

Then, to avoid turning into a money farm for other players

We wouldn't have made you do that. We love you. =(

We never asked that from anyone. Whoever volunteerd to give was the one who did. Last game I'd say the biggest volunteer was smope.

Kitty </font>

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Originally posted by 86smopuim:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Keke:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Snarker:

Smope! Kitty! I have open slots now - are you guys updated?

Where's the promised setup? :rolleyes: :mad: </font>
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I have a scenario that needs testing...

It features...

Canadian Crunchies

German Crunchies

Candian things that go BOOM

German Things that go BOOM

Italy

1944

More Canadian Crunchies

More German Crunchies.

Let me know if interested in testing, feedback and secrecy is REQUIRED.

Rune

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Rune, maybe a little later I could try that. Right now I'm playing a scenario with Lurkur that seems pretty similar. The only problem I'm having is that my Canadian Things go BOOM and nothing happens. Then his German Things go BOOM and my Canadian things go <font size=6>BOOM!!!</font size=6> :mad: :mad: :mad:

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Originally posted by rune:

DaveH, let me know when you may be ready...

Also, in the book you talk about [Da Vinci Code], in the General Forum? Just letting you know that the butler [soddball?] did it.

Rune

It's true. I did it shortly after riding your Auntie Irene till she was too sore to walk. :mad: :mad: :mad:
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