Boo Radley Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 ROIGHT! Listen up then lads, this here is the Peng Challenge Thread also known as the Mother Beautiful Thread (MBT for short), the CessPool or just the Cess. If you don’t know that, it’s because you are an SSN (Scum Sucking Noobie, that is). Now, as an SSN, you only have one thing to do. SOD OFF! That’s our little way of telling you to hit the road, take a hike, hie thee hence and git stoofed. WHAT? Still here are ye? Well, aren’t you the cheeky one. If you plan on staying around, here are the rules. Read them. Learn them. Live them. (XLV) Challenge someone! That’s why it’s called “The Peng Challenge Thread” . No, you may not challenge a Kanigget or an Olde One. Nor may you challenge a squire. You can only challenge an SSN such as yourself. If you fail to do so, you can SOD OFF! Oh, and anyone bothering any of the lovely and charming ladies of the Pool, will have to deal with Grue, and no one wants that now do we? (ibid.) Challenge with wit, panache and hatred. Use what wit you have not as a cudgel, but rather as a rapier…or a Ginsu Steak Knife. If so, you can accrue many points that can be used later in our gift shoppe. If you have no wit, you can SOD OFF! (L.S.M.F.T.) You need to have an E-mail address and a location in your profile. Why? The better to send PBEMs and to mock you. If you have no E-mail or location in your profile, best be putting them in now or you can (Sing it with me, children!) SOD OFF! (Ipso facto) Act as if you have a pair, but don’t go on about YOUR pair. It’s embarrassing for everybody. Also, kindly leave your prejudices and racism at the door. if you can’t do that...wait for it...you can SOD OFF! (Yabba Dabba Do) If you have any questions, please feel free to SOD OFF! ( Ha! Weren’t expecting that one were you? Idjit!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 MrSpkr Gets Temporary CM Computer Access Vows to Continue Crushing Opponents DALLAS -- Tired of waiting for his laptop computer to be repaired, MrSpkr has sought and obtained permission to install CMAK and CMBB on his office computer. "I needed to complete my utter and total victory of such stooges as Boo and dalem. Waiting for the repair shop to finish their work was simply not feasible." When questions arose as to whether he was, in fact, defeating Boo, MrSpkr referred questions to his rather large bodyguard, Guido. Mr. Guido's only comment on the matter involved pointing out how difficult it might be for a reporter to type up a story with broken fingers. Reporting live from Dallas, this is This Reporter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Hah! Proof I'm genetically uber! Scientists study 'blue-eyed' booze gene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by Lars: Hah! Proof I'm genetically uber! Scientists study 'blue-eyed' booze gene Well you're close ... I suspect the word you're searching for is actually Booger ... Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Lars, you don't have blond hair and blue eyes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 A terrifying encounter with sobriety turned it prematurely brown/white. Still got the baby blues though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by Lars: A terrifying encounter with sobriety turned it prematurely brown/white. Still got the baby blues though. Your eyes are BLUE??? Couldn't tell through that red haze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by Lars: Still got the baby blues though. Awww, I didn't know you suffered from Post Partum Depression". I just thought you always looked that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 In the name of persiflagiosity I declare that the fashion of the MBT is jodhpurs. So it is written, so it is done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: In the name of persiflagiosity I declare that the fashion of the MBT is jodhpurs. So it is written, so it is done. Nonsense (which, in YOUR case, is at least a FORM of sense) ... plus fours, by order of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: In the name of persiflagiosity I declare that the fashion of the MBT is jodhpurs. So it is written, so it is done. Just jodhpurs? Nothing else? Kinky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I drink because I have blue eyes??? I thought I drank to become drunk??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Now lads, let's not get dalem's hopes up ... when you see the OFFICIAL CessPool Plus Four ensemble, well, you'll be able to think of nothing else ... Modelled on behalf of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread by the Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure of the Peng Challenge Thread. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Modelled on behalf of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread by the Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure of the Peng Challenge Thread. Joe Umm...no? I don't wear plaid. I don't wear high waters and I don't GOLF! Besides, I'm at least a decade younger than your "model". Who is that, really? Your kid brother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Originally posted by Boo Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Modelled on behalf of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread by the Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure of the Peng Challenge Thread. Joe Umm...no? I don't wear plaid. I don't wear high waters and I don't GOLF! Besides, I'm at least a decade younger than your "model". Who is that, really? Your kid brother? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 That is NOT Boo, who has more of a "thuggish" look. Plus, the guy in the pic is concentrating, something we know Boo can't do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 I'll admit, I was a bit shagged out from an earlier rant in the political forum. I really need to stay out of there. All it does is get my blood pressure maxed out and I'd look like the real fool if I stroked out over either Bush or Kerry. So, Joe. If that isn't a picture of your kid brother, it must be one of your children. Well, you can see who taught them to dress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by Boo Radley: I'll admit, I was a bit shagged out from an earlier rant in the political forum. I really need to stay out of there. All it does is get my blood pressure maxed out and I'd look like the real fool if I stroked out over either Bush or Kerry. So, Joe. If that isn't a picture of your kid brother, it must be one of your children. Well, you can see who taught them to dress. I agree about the GF, every once in a while I'll get stupid ... well, MORE stupid, and post something there and then it's Katie Bar The Door! Eventually I'll grow bored with explaining the whole thing over and over again all the while knowing full well that there are SOME there coudalemgh who have NO hope of understanding and who will stick to their discredited theories and cherished conspiracies long after the quo has lost it's status. Then I'll wander away until some REALLY stupid post by some OTHER idiot sneMrSpkreze gets my goat and I'm off again tying to make a whole 'NOTHER cretin burLarsrrrrpppppppp see that I'm clearly correct. Ranting does little good there and really just makes you seem like the regulars who are as bizarre a collection of misfits, Right Wing Gun Nut Nut Jobs, Bible Thumpers, former and current military personnel and assorted hangers on as you'd ever wish to see in a sideshow freak exhibition. Speaking of 60 Minutes, I just saw a bit on Robert Duvall and his breakthrough role as ... wait for it ... the mute Boo Radley in "To Kill A Mockingbird." The interviewer stated that he showed a tremendous range of emotions without saying a single word ... have you considered emulating that example? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Well ya know Joe, I find it quite odd that after all the various encounters we have had on the PGF that you would fail to mention my name in any of your encounters with severe flatulance. Not that I don't spend an inordinate amount of time there, jumping in swiftly to denounce those that would make a mockery of our Justicar. Is that worthy of a mention? Not to Joe Shaw. Despite all my best efforts to gently wean you off your left thumb, you would ignore my efforts and sacrifices. Oh well, what is recognition after all? Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 A rant? You call that limp-wristed, girly whine a rant? More like foaming at the mouth for 20 seconds, and hitting each of the keys your spittle lands on in turn. You wouldn't know a proper rant if it hit you up side the head like a moth on a headlight at 75. {Big-ass Buick, two tone powder blue & white, two yards of hood, gas gulping V-8, wide whitewall tires, tailfins and enough chrome to plate your house} That's 75 Miles Per Hour, for you degenerate metric fools. Now where was I? Ah, yes. Ranting. A Proper Rant leaves the reader feeling like a junebug crushed under the vibrating wheel of the steamroller as it smoothes the still-steaming blacktop. Spindled, folded, mutilated. Drove hard and put away wet. (calm down Yeknodathon. Deep breaths.) A real Rant is fire breathing, full of sound and fury (and in your case, I expect, signifying nothing), hell and damnation. It is the sickening thud of your over-ripe watermelon hitting the pavement because you were just too lazy to make two trips, like your wife told you to do. Even though you really don't like watermelon anyway, and you probably dropped it on purpose, because you resent her enjoying it, and it wasn't on sale like she thought, but she really wanted some watermelon, and alright already, I'll go back to the freaking store and get another one, if you'll just drop it. No, I didn't mean that, I meant drop the subject, but now she knows you did it on purpose, and damn! there's watermelon all over the steps, will you look at all the damn ants. If you can read it without getting out of breath, it ain't a Rant, see? No go back and put some heart in it, boy-o. [ September 08, 2004, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: rleete ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: Well ya know Joe, I find it quite odd that after all the various encounters we have had on the PGF that you would fail to mention my name in any of your encounters with severe flatulance. Not that I don't spend an inordinate amount of time there, jumping in swiftly to denounce those that would make a mockery of our Justicar. Is that worthy of a mention? Not to Joe Shaw. Despite all my best efforts to gently wean you off your left thumb, you would ignore my efforts and sacrifices. Oh well, what is recognition after all? Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Apparently it consists of typing your own name six times. Jim Boggs I have seen you on the GF. I have, at times, responded to you there when I'm posting ... {shudder}. But I don't consider YOU to be one of the regulars. There are some in the GF who would not fare well here. They hurl themselves on the spears on their enemies when confronted by the neer-do-wells they find there. They don't exhibit the qualities we prize HERE and post as others do THERE. HERE we value wit and a certain jaundiced view of the world. We boast and brag of the vitrol and bile spewed forth here, knowing full well that it's the insults that bind us together. THERE they seem to prize REAL vitrol, the kind that deliberately drives people apart and fosters anger and bitterness that lasts for days. There is little wit, little of the recognition that the world is a strange and bizarre place best viewed through the dregs in the bottom of a beer bottle. Here we go on and on for days about a trivial point of honor or tradition and it's seen as a focus for our fun. THERE they go on for days about trivial points of honor or tradition ... AND THEY MEAN IT. YOU fail to see the LIFE AND DEATH importance of the service of President Bush in the Texas Air National Guard some thirty years ago. YOU choose NOT to acknowledge that question that burns in the heart and soul of every American voter ... Did John Kerry get a band aid or a real bandage on his second Purple Heart? The world is a nasty place these days, likely enough it will remain so regardless of the outcome of this election we're having. There'll be more mud slung, more motives questioned, more ridicule heaped on what are, for the most part, good and decent men who honestly believe what they believe ... on both sides. But through it all, WE'LL still be here. Debating about nonsense, chatting about trivialities, calling each other the most foul names and vicious epithets imaginable ... and through it all ... we'll still be CessPoolers. Here's to you my friend, and thanks for upholding the REAL traditions of the CessPool ... no matter where you roam. Joe p.s. No you don't get a turn, I'm far too emotional right now. [ September 08, 2004, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: [presses snout against the picture for a thorough examination] *hooooooooooooooooJJRumbothatfreakinLegendoooonnnnnnnnnnnnk?* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by Speedy: I drink because I have blue eyes??? I thought I drank to become drunk??? No, you Aussie idjit, you don't drink to become drunk, you drink because you are a drunk. You drink until drunk simply in order to correctly align your spiritual state. And, unlike most of you lot, I have actually stared deeply into the eyes of Lars. And I saw there such a pit of unutterable drunkenness, a sinkhole of such utter depravity, that I turned my own eyes away. They were, though, quite fetchingly blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by rleete: It is the sickening thud of your over-ripe watermelon hitting the pavement because you were just too lazy to make two trips, like your wife told you to do. Even though you really don't like watermelon anyway, and you probably dropped it on purpose, because you resent her enjoying it, and it wasn't on sale like she thought, but she really wanted some watermelon, and alright already, I'll go back to the freaking store and get another one, if you'll just drop it. No, I didn't mean that, I meant drop the subject, but now she knows you did it on purpose, and damn! there's watermelon all over the steps, will you look at all the damn ants. Stop whining, cut a bottle-neck sized hole in the top of the watermelon, and upend a bottle of Stolichnaya in it overnight. Make sure you slather on plenty of sunblock before you start eating, so that when your wife and the neighbours peel you off the lawn the next afternoon to turn you over to the police, you're not badly sunburnt. And do you call that a rant? Whinging about fruit, for the love of all the gods?! You need to be arrested more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: see the OFFICIAL CessPool Plus Four ensemble, well, you'll be able to think of nothing else ... Joe Don't ever post anything like that again, or we're going to have words, lad. Plus Fours are an Abomination in the eyes of Seanachai. No discussion, nothing further from any of you lot. They're an Abomination. End of story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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