Yeknodathon Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Edited to note that Yeknod owes me a turn I'm thinking... its a very long road and I'm not going to make any unseemly movements. And that requires a lot of thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: Why do you keep sniffing? It's me imperious *sniff*. As opposed to yer imperious but vaguely half-hearted *snort*.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 nevermind...I forgot to log him out. Shall repost as myself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Kitty: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: Why do you keep sniffing? It's me imperious *sniff*. As opposed to yer imperious but vaguely half-hearted *snort*.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Kitty: I do NOT snort, thank you very much. *sniff*... see yer *snorting* is not exactly you *sniff*... its me *snort*. And that's without taking into account yer scratching from yer fungal infections. *snort* *sniff* *snort* *scratch* Did I say I got a rubber gnome? Good quality rubber? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Hullo, all. Just got back from the flat end of the state where, for miles, you can see...er...miles, as it were. The western part of the state is as flat as the top of Hiram's head. As flat as MiLud Croda's personality. As flat as the amount of R.S.V.P's MrSpkr will ever get from his "friends" after the idiotic spam mailing he sent out. (Oh, and didn't we all have a great deal of fun with that? Can you believe he actually started it? He don't know us vewwy well, do he?) Sorry I missed all the fun today with the mentioning of the backyard, rubber gnomes and sniffing. Really, I'm not, but anymore the lies just come naturally. Turns may go out tonight...or not. I'm still reeling from the serious spanking dalem gave me in our latest pas de deux. 80-20, or somefink like that. XXOO, Boo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: Not even a 'derisive snort'? You know...the kind you do when looking down you nose at someone...like that. No, that's a snork. As in, "Croda is a clever poster *snork* " Kitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: I'm not going to make any unseemly movements. Otherwise you end up with more Croda on your thistles? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Kitty: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: Not even a 'derisive snort'? You know...the kind you do when looking down you nose at someone...like that. No, that's a snork. As in, "Croda is a clever poster *snork* " Kitty </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: And that requires a lot of thought. And as we wait, the universe continues to expand, following the course of entropy and the gradual, inexorable death of everything... Pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Boo Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon: And that requires a lot of thought. And as we wait, the universe continues to expand, following the course of entropy and the gradual, inexorable death of everything... Pathetic. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: I do NOT snort, thank you very much. *sniff*... see yer *snorting* is not exactly you *sniff*... its me *snort*. And that's without taking into account yer scratching from yer fungal infections. *snort* *sniff* *snort* *scratch* Did I say I got a rubber gnome? Good quality rubber? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 The story which follows is a 'Contemporary Gnome Adventure'. It is primarily for our mature readers. Please note that while the subject material is rated acceptable for all ages, the article itself replicates actual experiences and is not advised for all readers due to offensive language and certain adult content. Cesspool apologies to BFC for presenting them in their original form. Trill...Trill..! Seanachai Bugger...click...Hello? Berli Heyyy. Seanchai Ah, Master of Vile Darkness! How's it going? Berli Not too bad. I'm gonna kill whatever halfwit bastard is keeping that round-robin email going about that sodding idiot MrSpkr's email change. Seanachai Jesus, isn't that funny? What the hell was MrSpkr thinking when he sent that bugger off? What a maroon! He had three different addresses on the list for Shaw alone! And some of those poor buggers are raving about having played one game against him 2 years ago! Talk about a distribution list set up and maintained by Bobo the Simpleminded! Berli Yeah. Idjit. Seanachai So, what lightens the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments for the Lord of the Pit these days? Berli Just got some incredible 1 to 2400 scale models of British and French ships of the Napoleonic period. Seanachai Wow! Sounds cool. Hey, Berli fella, hate to bring it up, but I have to leave here in about 5 minutes to have lunch with my good friend Jen, and her beautiful and amazing 6 month old girl, The Fair Mini-Emma. Berli Ahh. That the woman I met? With the great dogs, and the husband brews his own beer? Seanachai Yeah. Berli No prob. I'll catch you later. —clic Hmm...okay, lessee...keys, library book to return, PDA...okay. Now, out the back, lock the door, shift the recycling bins back into line on the porch, head out the back porch door, carefully make sure the cheap security door latches... Stands at the top of the back porch steps staring at the four parking spots in back of the apartment building Seanachai **** me! Where's my car?! After phone calls to my landlord and the Minneapolis Impound lot, I began the process of reporting my car stolen. I can only imagine, as the process continued, what each person down the line was making of my repeated comment "It was a piece of ****e! It was a '94 Honda Civic with sea waves in the front hood from where some bastard stood on it at the Winnipeg Folk Festival! There was rust around the wheel wells, and the muffler was going out...again! And the back seat still smelled like cat-piss from the time we drove Peng back to his hotel! But I loved it! I loved it! Why would they do this?! Why would they take my sodding car?!!!!" I was wrenched in a dozen different directions. Rage, anxiety, confusion and horror. All I could think was, "Oh Fecking Great! Now I have to talk to my most favouritest of peoples! Cops, Insurance Agents, and my Neighbours!" Frankly, the cop was very nice. He shuffled in, looked at me, talked with me for a few minutes, and, before taking my statement, he told me: "You know, a few months ago, I took a theft report from this guy. He'd been at a party, and he came out really drunk, and decided it would be smart if he walked home, rather than drive. And the next day, he walked back, and couldn't find his car. He reported it stolen, and a month later, when they declared a Snow Emergency, his car was brought in, towed from the next block over. He'd simply forgotten where he'd parked." I thanked him. I looked deep into my own, Gnomish soul. I knew that my Fecking Car should be parked out back! I had driven both Berli and Peng around in it, with never a moment of uncertainty! I ran out onto the street! I ran up and down both sides of the block! I looked for that which was, quite simply, no longer there. The cop gave me a Case Control Number (CCN). He told me that, in many cases, the cars were recovered. Mind you, they'd been stripped to ****e. But they came home again, like Lassie, limping on three legs. I then called my insurance company. They took my original statement. It was very perfunctory. At one point, the interviewer asked me 'Where did the accident take place'. And I'm telling him: "What accident? I assume they stole it on purpose!", and I hear this tap-tap-tapping, and 'yes sir, just a second until I get to the right screen'. And then they told me that a local adjustor would call me. She did. She was quite nice. Her name was 'Dori'. She spelled it for me. I fell in love with her voice. Mind you, some bastard who's just had his car stolen should at least be treated to listening to some young woman with a really, really nice voice explain that everything you had to say would be recorded. She asked me innumerable questions. She asked me if my car had ever been stolen before. She asked me if I knew of anyone who would want to steal my car. She asked me if I owed money on a loan, or had recently declared Bankruptcy. She asked me any number of questions. Finally, she asked me: Did you steal your own car, or know who has stolen it? I told her: No. I couldn't tell her the truth. Kudos to you, Cabron66. I never saw this coming. When you return the car, to make me look like a fecking idjit to both my insurance company, and the Minneapolis Police Department, I imagine that you'll leave it on a nearby side-street. Make sure to piss the driver's seat, lad. Nothing discredits a stolen car report like it turning up a block away with a urine soaked seat. [ January 16, 2004, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Noba: Posted by the cheater......(Whom I hate, despise and revile - to a level almost as much as that, that, French lover - PondSCUM !) Still bitter, I see. Exxxxxxcelllent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: The story which follows is a 'Contemporary Gnome Adventure'. Send a turn or we steal your pants too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Fun story. I could almost be willing to admit you to the human race but...nah, forget it. BTW, what happened to whatshername that you were supposed to do whatever with? Did you let her know why you were standing her up, or did you just leave her hanging? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Fun story. I could almost be willing to admit you to the human race but...nah, forget it. BTW, what happened to whatshername that you were supposed to do whatever with? Did you let her know why you were standing her up, or did you just leave her hanging? Michael You cheap whore. I called her cell phone. Isn't technology wonderful? She and the amazing Mini-Emma came to my home, and sat with me while I waited for the cops. Then she took me to lunch. And grocery shopping. As we were driving to the grocery store, she was trying to reassure me. She said, 'Hey, this isn't that bad, right'? I said 'Yeah. I need to look on the bright side. I mean, I don't need the car for work, because I'm unemployed!' Then I laughed hysterically. After a short while, she said: "Jesus. You know, even your silver-linings suck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by PondScum: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: The story which follows is a 'Contemporary Gnome Adventure'. Send a turn or we steal your pants too. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: You cheap whore.But not so cheap that you'll ever be able to afford me. After a short while, she said: "Jesus. You know, even your silver-linings suck." Ah, she knows you well then. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: You cheap whore.But not so cheap that you'll ever be able to afford me. After a short while, she said: "Jesus. You know, even your silver-linings suck." Ah, she knows you well then. Michael </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: You'd think they'd have made allowances for pulling the trigger with your big-toe. Borrow a hacksaw and cut away the trigger guard. If that's too much trouble, rig something with a piece of coathanger wire, a broom handle, and some duck tape. Need any shells? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: You'd think they'd have made allowances for pulling the trigger with your big-toe. Borrow a hacksaw and cut away the trigger guard. If that's too much trouble, rig something with a piece of coathanger wire, a broom handle, and some duck tape. Need any shells? Michael </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: You'd think they'd have made allowances for pulling the trigger with your big-toe. Borrow a hacksaw and cut away the trigger guard. If that's too much trouble, rig something with a piece of coathanger wire, a broom handle, and some duck tape. Need any shells? Michael </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 By the way, did you know that some complete piece of ****e stole my fecking car?! I loved that car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by PondScum: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Noba: Posted by the cheater......(Whom I hate, despise and revile - to a level almost as much as that, that, French lover - PondSCUM !) Still bitter, I see. Exxxxxxcelllent. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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