MasterGoodale's International House O' Waffles, Ale and Maggots

[_Axe_]

Hardy har.

Har.

Blech. :mad: :mad:

Hey Jim — send those pictures to Dave. He could use some cheering up. Even better, maybe you have the latest risqué spread in Accountants Quarterly — those girls give the phrase "bad with math" a whole new meaning. :eek:

Jas :mad: n

[Jim Boggs]

I blame the wino. We had a really great thread going, a lot of open inter.....discourse and stuff and then out of nowhere some gamey update post just dropped in. The girls took one look at the style and content and poof...gone.

BTW-Where do you think the term spreadsheet came from anyway.

[mike_the_wino]

Accountant grogs.

[Soddball]

Turns are flowing out from my computer faster than pus from an infected ant-bite on MasterGoodale.

Speaking of the lowly MG, I am not even slightly surprised to tell you that I haven't received a turn. This is because The Goodale is a vibrating dildo with three speeds.

How do I kick thine arse? Let me count the ways!

Thy troops are more dead and more full of lead,

Artillery fire rakes thy troops once more,

And anti-tank guns turn thine armour into collanders.

Poetry sucks :mad: but not as much as MasterG.

Snarker is using his gamey surviving armour to gamily attack my poor chilly russkies. Add to this the thrill of artillery and you get a suckage package of frottage. :mad:

PlatCommander and I are in the early stages of Kneiber Dam. There is nothing to report from the Russkie front right now. :mad:

Wallybob and I have set up on a cutesy-pie Old Dog map and nothing is till happening here, since he sucks and it's turn 2. :mad:

Mike the Wino has just lost a juicy piece of armour to the predations of a T-34, and we are busy blowing each other like a pair of furious homos. :mad:

Keke and I are having a horrible time in our random map night time QB. Yuck and Treble Yuck. :mad:

Work on Ice Cold in Avnavodsk continues apace, with map complete, unit selection largely complete and plans afoot for briefings.

[samba_liten]

Poetry is only boring if you read the wrong ones!

The toil of all that be

does not help the primal fault;

it rains into the sea

and still the sea is salt.

A.E. Housman

But then, as they say, De gustibus non est disputandum.

(tastes cannot be discussed)

[_Axe_]

Originally posted by samba_liten:

Poetry is only boring if you read the wrong ones!

The toil of all that be

does not help the primal fault;

it rains into the sea

and still the sea is salt.

A.E. Housman

But then, as they say, De gustibus non est disputandum.

(tastes cannot be discussed)

For the man from Aberdeen:

O Aye My Wife She Dang Me

by Robert Burns (1795)

O aye my wife she dang me,

An' aft my wife she bang'd me,

If ye gie a woman a' her will,

Gude faith! she'll soon o'er-gang ye.

On peace an' rest my mind was bent,

And, fool I was! I married;

But never honest man's intent

Sane cursedly miscarried.

O aye my wife, &c.

Some sairie comfort at the last,

When a' thir days are done, man,

My pains o' hell on earth is past,

I'm sure o' bliss aboon, man,

O aye my wife, &c.

(Poetry in the Waffle thread should raise the :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: level of MasterGoodale)

[samba_liten]

More poetry in the waffle thread!

But only waffle poetry. (and Burns )

[_Axe_]

The Waffle Iron

by Barrett Warner

In four years of marriage

we never made a waffle

and now we're fighting about the waffle iron.

She wants to beat me over the head with it.

Then pictures come off walls,

post cards, drawings, photographs.

Everything is pushed neatly off the mantle,

but a small Amish lantern

I gave her a while ago.

I don't even try to argue

about how we're dividing the music.

That night I make about a hundred waffles,

keeping them warm in the oven

until there's no more room.

Then I open all the boxes

and cram the waffles inside,

taking out wads of newspaper.

I light the Amish lamp,

rocking slowly in the chair

that she's taking tomorrow,

scan the old headlines for something

I may have missed months ago,

a scratched album on the turntable,

its music whispering and hoarse.

I gently tap my foot to the memory.

[_Axe_]

waffle house poem #2

by kaite hoover

grease is brown on white

love is kind on hate

sex is soft on hard

tears are wet on dry

breath is short on sigh

twang is sweet on sour

love is last on least

moon is bright on sky

grass is green on dirt

[Dave H]

If MasterGoodale (the maggot) ever regains consciousness and sees poetry in the Cheery Waffle thread, the angry molten TNT will fly!! GRRRR!!!! :mad: :mad:

Either that or the shock will kill him. Hmmm, which would be better? :confused:

So, samba_liten, have you had the pleasure of trying Soddball's Inferno scenario yet? You really owe it to yourself to try it once.

[Snarker]

:mad: :mad:

There's only one form of poetry that fits this thread: THE LIMERICK (sort of)

***Ahem***

There once was a man from New Hampshire

Who in a fugue set his house afire.

While swatting smoking pants

He screamed a loon's rant

"MAGGOTS!!! Who mailed me moldy ants???"

Thank you

[samba_liten]

Being a beginner, every scenario seems like an inferno to me...

By the way, this thread seems very angry...

[mike_the_wino]

Originally posted by samba_liten:

Being a beginner, every scenario seems like an inferno to me...

By the way, this thread seems very angry...

You want to see angry, short pants? I show you FECKIN ANGRY!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

I just ordered 2-512meg DDR chips for my comp and the USELESS, GOAT-HUMPING, SACKLESS HOORS SOLD ME CRAP THAT IS IN-FECKIN-COMPATIBLE!!!! :mad: :mad:

Someone's sack is gonna be my new change purse. :mad: :mad:

After 4 hours of dinking around, calling customer dis-service and NOTHING. I am so pissed, only alcohol will calm my frazzled nerves. Turns out slow as I remedy this cluster-f&*#

[ June 26, 2003, 01:07 AM: Message edited by: mike_the_wino ]

[Crow]

Originally posted by DaveH:

have you had the pleasure of trying Soddball's Inferno scenario yet?

*raises hand* Errr, being the other new kid on the block I certainly haven't had the pleasure...

I assume the name is a dead giveaway as to the kind of fun which can be expected?

As always, here is your quota:- :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Nippy]

"Cherry Waffle"

It's spring time in the Reich

And Axe2121s Uber-Tanks are burning

Thanks to sweet napalm and TNT

"Ode to SoddBall"

Sharpshoots only have one shot

The world is awash in flame throwers

My sanity has slipped away

"A glass of Goodale"

T-44s and JS-3s lead the charge

Explosives being chucked by furious maggots

I lay slathered in TNT

Edit: Haiku - For poets who are to lazy to rhyme

[ June 26, 2003, 06:29 AM: Message edited by: Nippy ]

[Edward Windsor]

Ah Nippy, you've inspired me to recite a little Franklin P. Adam...

Poetry is modern,

And poetry is "free,"

And poetry's "expression,"

And Poetry is Me.

And poets all are busy,

And poets have no time

To waste on words melodic,

Or spend on silly rhyme.

For Poetry is freedom

From metre's utter fetters,

And poetry is lines that don't

Begin with capital letters.

Teddy

[nevermind]

*takes deep breath*

GRRRAAGGGHHHGGRRAAGGHHRGGRRRGAGAHAAHGRGRGRRH

HAHAHGAGRGRHRHRHRGAGAAGGRHRHHRHRHGAGAGAGAGRHRHHRH

RGAGAGAGRHRHHHRHGAGAAGAGRHRHHRRHGAGAGARHHRHRGAGAAH

RHRHRHGAGAGARHHRHHRHGAGAGAGRRGRGAHAHGRGRGHAHAHAHGRGR

RGHAHAAHGRGRRGAHHAHRGGRHAHAHAGRGRGGAGAAGRGRGHAHHAHGRGRHAHHAGRGR

GRGRHAHAGRGRGHAHAGRRGGHAAHGRGRHAHAAHGRGRHAHGRGRGAHGRG

GRGRRGAGAGHRRHRGHAHAGRGRHAHGRGRHA :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

*Cough* *Cough* *Gasp* *Thud*

[Keke]

Here's some poetry for you, and especially for nevermind:

I'd like to see things

from your point of view

but I can't seem to get my head

that far up your ass.

:mad: :mad: :mad:

[_Axe_]

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[Dave H]

Originally posted by Keke:

Here's some poetry for you, and especially for nevermind:

I'd like to see things

from your point of view

but I can't seem to get my head

that far up your ass.

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!!

Bravo! Bravo!! Author, author!!

Keke, you do have a way with words.

Oh, and:

Originally posted by samba_liten:

Being a beginner, every scenario seems like an inferno to me...

By the way, this thread seems very angry...

Actually, the anger in this thread is all a complete put-on. One thing about the Cheery Waffle thread - I don't think anyone has really gotten angry with another yet.

That is, of course, with the exception of MasterGoodale (the maggot). He hates, and is hated by, pretty much every other living being on the planet.

[Soddball]

I'm angry with MassiveCockGobbler. I'm sick and fecking tired of waiting for turns from such a remedial bell-end. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Send me the surrender file, or I'll tell everyone about your comedy warts. :mad: :mad:

[Soddball]

Originally posted by samba_liten:

Being a beginner, every scenario seems like an inferno to me...

By the way, this thread seems very angry...

We haven't even started yet. I'm gobbing strings of hot molten TNT, I'm so angry!! :mad: :mad:

Ice Cold in Avnavodsk is ready for playtesting. DaveH can chomp my cheese, cos he ain't getting it! :mad: :mad: (and bad)

[Soddball]

BREAKING NEWS:

Smuggled TNT captured by Greeks: MasterGoodale unable to send turns as a result!!

At least, that's his excuse. I know it's because he's a pregnant junkie faghag. :mad: :mad:

[Nippy]

I don't think anyone has really gotten angry with another yet.

You didn't get the PBEM file from Axe2121 after one of his Uber-Kitties died. Much angst followed...

[Sgian Dubh]

sodball wrote:

I know it's because he's a pregnant junkie faghag.

Aha! First I have been enjoying Mr. sodball's scenarios and now I see that he is a Black Adder fan.

Obviously a man of considerable depth and sophistication One of these days I hope we will meet on the battlefield.

"How stands that mighty army, the Clan MacAdder?"

"They're both well."

Edited b/c the stupid quote thing wasn't working correctly. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[ June 26, 2003, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: Sgian Dubh ]