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Peng Eye For the Challenge Guy: The Grog Makeovers


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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by OGSF:

Ah staipped ain a Croda once....

As God is my witness, the first time I read this I thought, for one stomach turning moment of absolute horror, that it read:

I strapped on a Croda once...

Dear merciful heaven, never let that image trouble me again. </font>

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

but I might hit the femural artery.

It's spelled "femoral". Put a dictionary next to your pocket copy of Chamberlain's monthly "Hot Clankety Things With Gums On Them! This month: Flat Face or Curved Mantlets - Which is Better and Why?", ya person, ya. </font>
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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

Attention Grogs!!!

If you're gonna lurk about the Thread looking all stylish, how's about ya put your collective heads (please note that Americans count as two heads) together and let me know what time period did the Russians have the Sherman, Valentine, and other Allied tanks and stuff.

Would like to do a QB and simulate North Africa. What would be a good match between German and British Tanks? PzIII's?

I NEED HELP!!!!

please?

Hmm. Pz. IIIJs or IIILs vs. Valentines might work if the Vals only have the 2pdr gun. I haven't looked so don't know for sure which model Vals are in the game.

Otherwise, Pz. IVF2 against Shermans (if they are very early models) or Grants would also be credible match-ups. You'd need to give the Grants an edge in numbers.

Michael

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Well, well. I come home the last two nights dead dru - dead tired, and unable to post, and what do I find when I come in here?

Right now, the Grogs are clearly ahead on points. This even with taking into account that Andreas and Bastables are already Knights of the Cesspool. You useless, limp, palsied lot are being shown up by a lot o' Grogs!

I'm after thinking we keep the Grogs, and send the rest of you excrement fanciers off to discuss Close Air Support, and Bren Tripods, and NaverFionnsGeburtsfehlerWaffen.

Really, reading a lot of the Cesspooler posts has been like reading a technical paper on Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Come on, people. How are we going to lead the humour-challenged into a Brave New World, when you lot are so sodding dim?

Notice the efficacy of my own words to Emrys. Emrys is now posting ****e that is far more humorous than the ****e that's being replied to him. I propose Emrys as Serf.

And JonS? Quite good stuff. And he clearly hates Bastables. Well, who doesn't hate Bastables? See how far he's come just by coming in here?

As for the makeover of JasonC...tricky. Tricky stuff! I knew someone would come up with him. Although I did see him make a totally out of nowhere humourous post the other day. I was quite moved.

Still, he does indeed need work. Abbot, I shall have to work on JasonC. I give it highest priority.

As for making over Andreas...well, fellow me lads, Andreas was a Seniour Knight of the Cesspool when many of you were still wondering if God had made any game that was more fabulous than Close Combat.

The problem isn't with 'Making Andreas Over'. The problem is with making Andreas accessible. It's an issue of 'translation'. Oh, not 'into English', or anything as goofy as that. Andreas uses better English than 90% of you. For one thing, he's able to use proper English for much longer stretches than most of you. Most of you do well in English because you never manage to string more than two or three simple sentences together, giving yourselves little opportunity to make the hash of your native tongue that we all know you're capable of doing. Hell, Andreas writes better English than I do.

No, the problem is with translating Andreas' sense of humour into some common denominator. I mean, the Tree of Humour has so many, many branches; intricate paths played out. This branch may be 'humourous to every native speaker of English', while this branch may 'only be funny to the French (Jerry Lewis, for example)'. So, when you follow out the branchings of humour to get to Andreas, you get the German/Overly Educated/Spent Time In Japan/English Speaking/Living in England/CM Grog branch that pretty much takes you out into the air and leaves you there staring down at the rich compost of humourlessness which is most Outer Board posting thinking 'goodness, it's a very long way to fall onto something that's hard, stupid and useless.

You can see the difficulties.

The process of making everyone laugh is reductionist. It is an attempt to go from what is the most esoteric, that which is funny to only a few, enlightened, and knowledgeable people, to that which is funny to the greatest number.

One day, undoubtedly, the Universal Humour Particle will be discovered. It will be the commonest bit of matter that is funny to all beings.

It will probably involve the process of defecation, which means that you lot will have been on the cutting edge of humour research all your tacky little lives.

That said, we're keeping Dalem. The whole 'pointing my phaser at idiot posts' had me snorting with laughter.

[ September 25, 2003, 10:31 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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Let the tankfest begin!

Boggs has failed to return a turn yet, and I emailed the opening file to him over 67 seconds ago. Clearly, he is too busy cowering from my uber-mousen-truppen in their clankety things...

Swampalgae has not been seen for a bit. Clearly his troops are demoralized from the massive hit their vodka transport machine took, right before it burst into flames.

Squeak!

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Originally posted by stikkypixie:

So why don't YOU show me how to do it noba. The Faq said ask nicely, and this is the answer i get. You leave me no choice i will have to burn all your panzers!!!! Start a pbem you (choose where, what how etc.) and learn a lesson in niceness if that's a word. Come on you know you need it.

Joe (you annoying bugger), the only real SSN we've had in here is stikkypixie, and I've already noticed him/her/it on the Outer Boards because of the rather disturbing screenname (which StkPx assures me is not simply the name of some SS officer that I've never heard of).

Please note that stikkypixie is in here and somewhat confused because they/it have clearly been a victim of Soddball's FAQ, in which he chortles roughly over misinforming people about the nature of the Cesspool.

I think, given the machinations of Soddball, that stikkypixie is doing quite well.

Soddball, as everyone should know, is the Anti-Seanachai of the Evil Clown Band thread, or 'Goodale thread', as it is known to some.

Besides stikkypixie, Joe, all we've had in are some of the Grogs. They're not like SSNs, Joe. They're just...Grogs!

My recent (and now apparently departed) Mortal Enemy mocked and reviled them in a way that had previously been reserved for Cesspoolers. So, it's not like they're SSNs. They're just Challenge challenged Cesspoolers.

If we cannot slap them with the 'honest' glove of fellowship, Joe, what are we to do? Go post in a Slapdragon thread?

[ September 25, 2003, 10:57 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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Oh, sure you can bring a Grog and dress him up, set up some funnies for him to deliver like some clumsy sock puppet. They may even have the smallest speck of humor, every material has impurities.

BUT DO THEY HAVE STAMINA!!!!

Any geek, stumbing around with his bulging forehead, mumbling under his breath about the equivelency of rolled steel is humorous. They may even evoke a snicker now and then, much like I laugh with my 4 year old as he throws stuffed animals around making them scream like cartoons we watch.

But is that soul? Is that panache? (Is that French for Pancakes, they look so similar...really pancakes with the syrup dripping down the edges, quite good really, but anyway...) I say NAY, or NEIGH for Mace.

Much like the idiots caught filming their stupidity for American Home Videos, they are only to be laughed at, not with...Really Seanachai you may want to reach down deep and pet your inner Grog, but I'd just rather strangle the ones I know here.

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

My new toy phaser goes Rheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! when I point it at the posts of my enemies.

It'll last one night on the General Forum.

So many enemies, so little juice

By the way:

Attention Grogs!!!

If you're gonna lurk about the Thread looking all stylish, how's about ya put your collective heads (please note that Americans count as two heads) together and let me know what time period did the Russians have the Sherman, Valentine, and other Allied tanks and stuff.

Would like to do a QB and simulate North Africa. What would be a good match between German and British Tanks? PzIII's?

I NEED HELP!!!!

please? </font>

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Originally posted by Wildman:

Oh, sure you can bring a Grog and dress him up, set up some funnies for him to deliver like some clumsy sock puppet. They may even have the smallest speck of humor, every material has impurities.

BUT DO THEY HAVE STAMINA!!!!

Good question. Here I am only one-third the way through reading your post and I am already bored to the point of nodding off.

[yawn]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Michael

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stikkypixie slabs noba in the face with a glove and walks away arrogantly and with dignity

...never turn your back in this place. Your're likely to regret it. With that veiled and unimaginative comment, I pass on to the wishy-washy challenge.

Let us forget that you should be picking on a worthless SSN. And bearing in mind the Garden Pixie's comment above about that evil person Sodball... PLUS it will likely upset old Foul Joe, I accept your challenge.

My e-mail is in my profile, send something around 1500 points, but no snow, thankyou. We hatesss sssnow, we doess.

Noba.

ps. "Slabs" are what you walk on or alternatively, get from the drive-in bottleshops.

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Either the batteries are running down or he's trying to fire bursts to "conserve" the barrel.

That comment sounds like it would be better applied to Hiram.

In other news.

Boo Radley just finished beating his brains out on my forward picket lines while my MLR finished their breakfast.

NG Cavscout is off gallivanting around trying to please his new masters and his wife, instead of sending me a turn. I have no idea what game we're playing anymore.

Lt Hortlund is more or less crossed out in my address book, that traitor of the people simply doesn't return moves.

Joe Shaw, überbastiche of the gnomes, still hasn't figured out which part of the woods he's in. No matter, I'll find him sooner or later.

Lurkur is too busy picking lint out of his ears to be sending turns. Who knows what we were doing before his brain started leaking.

Mace, while holding his Tigers back in petrified fear of my pencil-sharpener armed Red Horde accountants, still hasn't caught on to the fact that hugging edges is gamey even if you have so many troops they fill the entire map.

Nidan1 and I mutually headbanged each other, but both forgot that it's supposed to be the forehead, not the nose, that's supposed to impact. Ouch.

Now sod off.

/SirReal

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Micheal you riduculous Grog you,

While I applaud your attempt at humour (spelled for our Euro friends), I see that the upper limit has been reached. One liners are the sole province of Berli the Evil One (who owes me a rematch I think after our CMBO draw).

Here let me translate the post. {GROG SPEAK}

Sure there are mild impurities, while above the six sigma deviation, and the base material should be considered nominally "pure"; never the less, still holds errors that cannot be ignored. Every molecule has an outrider called "humor". While this molecule has no known benefits, its effects far outweight the magnitude of its total mass.

True, you might say, but about its half-life?

Well, this molecule when combined with the extensive carbon-chain widely recognized as Grog the half-life is 3.5632 posts, Std Dev. of .25678 to a 95% significance. Which confirms prior observations to the fact.{/GROG SPEAK}

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