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The Blooper Reel


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A thread for all those strange things that have happened in the game.

I'll start.

I was on the attack in a quick battle. I was doing every thing by the book- fire and movement. I was then faced with the problem of 100m to the next bit of cover- a 2 storey house- on my right flank. After doing every thing I could to supress the germans I rushed a section to the house. They got there ok- maybe with 1 casualty. Using them to cover I then rushed the other 2 rifle sections in the platoon up. The first got there. The second about 10 mtrs behind got to about 20 metres from the house, decided the fire was to heavy, turned round and rushed back 80 mtrs to the start position- all the time under fire.

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Well I'll contribute with frustrating events.

For five minutes enemy Stuarts have been rolling back and forth across my circa 600 meter frontage, at about 20-30 meter distance from the SS and Paras manning the line, and so far nobody has been bothered to fire a single faust or Schreck at any of them. I'm serious. The Stuarts are firing of course, but are hardly pinning the whole line. The men are of excellent quality and in command. I have StuGs in support of the line, but of course they are unable to target and fire, because the Stuarts dash by them too quickly.

Back, forth, back, forth. One can but hope they'll run out of ammunition sometime soon.

One can also not help but wonder why the Stuart was considered obsolete in 1943 already. I shudder at what had happened, had they had cannister rounds in CMBO.

Regards

Dandelion

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Oh where to begin or stop for that matter but I'll pick one. The time where this German HMG finally surrendered and was kneeling there like they do when they've surrendered when this squad of German's run by him and I guess called him a coward or something to that effect and it must have embarrassed the guy or something as he just got up and un-surrendered and ran off. I shot him before he got too far away however. I thought it rude to surrender and then run off like that. :mad: I had to watch that several times as I couldn't believe he did it. Oh I've got to just mention one more. I had this Greyhound facing this SP gun once face to face and knowing which was going to come out on top of that exchange figured the only thing I could do was rush pass him and get a shot off before the SP gun could turn around and shoot. Well, the Greyhound charged with fear and blood in his eye and got right up next to him and opened up. Well, I guess he was so close that it blew both of them up. I was kind of happy and sad at the same time but am now more careful about shooting at real close range not that you get that close normally but it was pretty exciting and weird at the same time.

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Well you know Dandelion I don't know. It was way back in one of my very first 3 Pbem's. I remember that it looked and sounded like just one explosion and both of them blew up. It was a surprise to my opponent too who had many pbem games under his belt.

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Well Lee, I can imagine him looking with tense anticipation in his home at the execution of the turn. Comes this kind of chicken-run duel, and then....BOOM, both blow up.

LOL!

Chicken surpriiise!

I'm sorry, I know I am being a small person, but I'm just laughing my trousers off over here. :D

Talk about suicide bombers. LOL

I'll make sure to keep your crews at arms length distance at all times when we play Lee. You're not crashing fighter bombers into your foes too are you?

LOL!

* wiping tears of laughter *

Hrm, must be that Teutonic sense of homour coming back at me here.

Well. For my part, I "cheated", and checked normal allotment of ammo to Stuarts (they're still going back and forth), and that sure depressed me. If they all empty their loads at 30 meter distance, I'll be taking some 800 37mm HE rounds. So joke's on me I guess.

Cheerio

Dandelion

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So Dandelion how's those Stuarts doing? Out of ammo yet? That is odd that your men aren't firing at them. You think maybe they just don't want to swat at something that harmless? :D How much damage are they doing? It does make you wonder sometimes what the AI is thinking. Well I'm glad you enjoyed my story. And as far as crashing planes into the enemy - can we do that? :D You got me excited there for a moment. ;)

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Lee,

Nah they're still at it. Ever seen the ammunition stowage of a Stuart? For the purposes of CMBO, it is inexhaustible. Creating massive damage, in spite of lacking cannister. Rate of fire, but more than that the machineguns. The machineguns are wreaking havoc. And that's not the AI. That's a pbem opponent.

Looks like a ladder-gamer-thing. The Stuarts are utilising two game-technical "flaws". First the time needed to aim. Makes sure my men don't have time to discharge weapons against the Stuarts before they've dashed by. Second the multiple targets bug, making sure that all men see more than one Stuart at any one time, the Stuarts switching distances to them (as they dash back and forth)and thus prompting them to change targets all the time, making it even more certain that they'll never be able to discharge. On top of that some quite realistic tactics too, making sure one Stuart at least is always at the rear firing at any one group of men to keep heads down.

It all serves me right for deploying in a straight frontal line. Verdun revisited, what a draftee thing to do :(

Cheerio

Dandelion

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So Dandelion are the Stuarts still at it? Just an idea and I'm sure you've already thought about it but how about using smoke? That would be pretty embarrassing having two Stuarts win the game. :eek: :D Especially against SS troops and Para. If you allow that they might just take your command away from you. redface.gifsmile.gif Let us know what happens this is kind of interesting. Oh and yes I have noticed the amount of ammo they carry.

[ May 21, 2003, 09:05 PM: Message edited by: lcm1947 ]

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We agreed to quit the Stuart-scenario. Not becasue of the Stuarts mind you:) But because we both want historical simulations. The scenario said in the briefing it was one, but it became increasingly apparent that the claim for research was unwarranted. As neither map nor forces, nor experience levels, really computed with actual conditions. Major turn-off, so we simply quit. We're trying another one instead.

Thus, I left the Stuarts undefeated and am impressed by my opponents extreme precision in their use.

On the other hand, I shall not again in any close future line up for the firing squad like that.

Stuarts have confounded me before. Trying to design scenarios, I find they "tilt" balance. British Amd Bn have 12 of these guys, so one includes them to give the Brits eyes and ears. Problem is, in an environment not allowing too long ranges, they're better than the MBTs. In any June7-8-9 12SS-Canada scenario e.g., the Stuarts must be part (because they were). But in the enclosed environment, they become more than a match for the PzKpfw IV.

Well what do I know. Maybe they were.

Cheerio

Dandelion

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I'm currently playing PBEM with a very talented fella, CMBB, Deerhezinsky Tractor Works and I thought I might utilise the lovely 240mm rocket artillery the fuhrer was kind enough to bestow on me.... Well, I guess it kind of fell short....THE HORROR :eek:

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Originally posted by Richie:

I'm currently playing PBEM with a very talented fella, CMBB, Deerhezinsky Tractor Works and I thought I might utilise the lovely 240mm rocket artillery the fuhrer was kind enough to bestow on me.... Well, I guess it kind of fell short....THE HORROR :eek:

Wow, I cant wait to hear what happened Richie. smile.gif

Chris

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On the Stuart note, I've seen all kinds of crazy, unrealistic things happen. For instance, in Wild Bill's "Maastricht Tanks" scenario (a tiny, armor only scenario), the American player is given two Stuarts. Naturally I used these to scout ahead on the flanks. Well, imagine my surprise when not only did I work my way around the Germans to rear oblique shots, but my Stuart on the left flank knocked out everything the Germans had (e.g., a Panther or two, at Mk IV or two...). I'll take the win, but as someone who spent 13 years on the M3, M3A1, M3A2 CFV, and the M1, M1IP, M1A1, and M1A2 in terrain all over the world, I found the "reality" very suspect. I've also seen opponents deliberately buy tons of Stuarts to overwhelm the slow rotating German turrets and the game flaw of "hyper target acquisition." I HATE people who play the game that way, but it is very very effective.

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Originally posted by Richie:

I'm currently playing PBEM with a very talented fella, CMBB, Deerhezinsky Tractor Works and I thought I might utilise the lovely 240mm rocket artillery the fuhrer was kind enough to bestow on me.... Well, I guess it kind of fell short....THE HORROR :eek:

Can you post a screenshot? What was the combined damage?
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I also had some rockets fall "short" in Dzerh-spelling gets-tough-without-looking-it-up Tractor Works. I think it's quite normal for that battle as the map is a tad small for rockets. I had mine targetted near the Russian rear-area factory to come in on turn 1. I lost two 50 mm Mortars and almost obliterated the Company HQ with the first few rounds. Took some other start-line casualties, too. Fortunately, I had the foresight to put my Panzers off to the left side, so at least they didn't get hit.

I can't recall if those rockets hurt more Russians than Germans when I read the end game kill stats.

Grand fun. Play it again in a heartbeat.

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...forgot the other blooper.

QB versus the AI. I'm rolling up his (its) left flank. I've sent an AC in to overrun a MG team, with another AC...or maybe a tank....firing in support to suppress the MG team.

Of course, during the overrun, the AC gets torched by the suppressing HE rounds. Learned something about Tac AI limitations that day.

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I'm not sure how to post a screen shot but on each successive barrage the rockets would panic the men. On two occasions my troops were caught assaulting through open ground and one squad lost 7 men :( , Chris will love this, excellent scenario though. I didn't lose my Pz IV's thankfully but in truth I feel the damage has been done. Over my OB I lost maybe 3 squads in all. You know, I kept thinking, "No WHY??.... No, come on Richie, the next one won't fall short..... THE HORROR......." :rolleyes:

[ May 25, 2003, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Richie ]

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*possible spoiler for Viller Bocage: Tiger!*

I was getting badly trounced playing the Brits, I lost a fair number of tanks already when I managed to sneak a Cromwell to the rear of two tigers shooting the crap out of my poor forces still in the town.

I was already full of anticipating joy/bloodlust as my Cromwell moved into view of their rear. Then it backed up. Guess I should have remembered the briefing mentioned there were two gunless HQ tanks in the town, hence two Cromwells equipped with no ammo.

Doh!

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