The Commissar Posted February 14, 2001 Share Posted February 14, 2001 ...Mace had another scheme. He would first blow up the sheep and then rig it with explosives. When that evil bastard Steve and his faithful sidekick Charles tried to deflate the sheep - BOOOM! Mace smiled gleefully. Now, with explosives in hand, he was only to inflate the ship. With several short and shallow breaths (largely thanks to his unhealthy habbit of sucking on automobile exhaust pipes), the sheep was in all its plastic and cotton-covered glory. Now to stuff it with explo - but Mace could not take his eyes off the sheep. It was so big, fluffy and lucious. Its small black eyes glared at Mace, as if beckoning him to do his thang'. "No...not...again..." Mace managed to croak before his primal urges won over his self control and what little remained of his dignity. When the two programers returned from stuffing turkeys, they were trated to the gruesome sight of Mace... [This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 02-14-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord General MB Posted February 14, 2001 Share Posted February 14, 2001 Soldiers, .....stuffing his face with Charle's nacho's. "What the hell are u doing mace?!" Roared charles. Mace replied..... ------------------ Salute! Lord General Mr. Bill Supreme Commander 1st Army Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 14, 2001 Share Posted February 14, 2001 ...."When I shag sheep it always makes me hungry! Sorry, Man! I buy you another!" Cycling a round into the chamber Steve leveled his G3 at Mace. "Slowly now... Put down the sheep and back away," he said. Slowly Mace attempted to extract himself from the sheep but to his horror he realized... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 14, 2001 Share Posted February 14, 2001 Originally posted by jshandorf: Slowly Mace attempted to extract himself from the sheep but to his horror he realized... ...that his blood supply was sufficient enough only to supply oxygen to either his brain, or to *ahem* another part of his anatomy, and it definitely wasn't anywhere near his brain at this point of time! In other words, Mace's ability for logical, sensible reasoning was somewhat impared due to a lack of Oxygen, and he.... (writer's note: I really, really, really hate you guys! But I will have my revenge!!! Muahahahahahahahaha! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 ...proceeded on his dirty business. The scheme worked, as Steve and Charles recoiled in disgust and temporary blindness. Using the opportunity Mace made his escape, with the sheep still bobbing up and down on his crotch. However, due to Mace's dispicable antics, Steve lost his mind and Charles turned to crack-cocaine and hard liquer. On drunken nights, one could still hear him ramble in a drunken rage about some bastard and some sheep. Thus, CM2 was handed over to Madmatt. In horror of the impending turn of events, the CM fans collectively pumped Mace full of lead and left him for dead. Mace however, was a willy, tricky... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord General MB Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 Soldiers, ...Slug like creature, equipt only with some mush for a brain, and a half a nut. And so he would often pass himslef off as some form of lawyer since no could really tell the difrence. During a lawcase he was suddenly confronted by.... ------------------ Salute! Lord General Mr. Bill Supreme Commander 1st Army Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 ...During a lawcase he was suddenly confronted by.... ...an angry horde of Gucci-clad Beltway Lobbyists led by none other than the nefarious Lawyer himself. Things looked bleak for our oviphiliac friend when, without warning, or even an appointment, jd burst into the courtroom. "Ah hah, Lawyer," he chortled, "at last we meet!" jd proceeded to perform a complicated wrestling move he had picked up from watching WCW Nitro while waiting for clients to respond to his advertisements on the Antofagasta municipal transport system. As soon as these two legal polar opposites made actual physical contact, their judicial natures canceled each other out. The resulting explosion obliterated... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 ...an angry horde of Gucci-clad Beltway Lobbyists led by none other than the nefarious Lawyer himself. Things looked bleak for our oviphiliac friend when, without warning, or even an appointment, jd burst into the courtroom. "Ah hah, Lawyer," he chortled, "at last we meet!" jd proceeded to perform a complicated wrestling move he had picked up from watching WCW Nitro while waiting for clients to respond to his advertisements on the Antofagasta municipal transport system. As soon as these two legal polar opposites made actual physical contact, their judicial natures canceled each other out. The resulting explosion obliterated... ...everything in the courtroom! Fire! Destruction! Mayhem! In the center of all the chaos and ruin, only jd's putting-green jacket and the Lawyer's codpiece remained. Stangely, their bodies were not found, leading some to suspect that ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 Originally posted by Iskander: Stangely, their bodies were not found, leading some to suspect that ... ...lawyers are not human at all, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 ...ant-creatures from the planet "Zub-Dum-Doikin"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord General MB Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 ..... Who when enraged had a tendancy to roar and make sweet love to sheep. As we study these strange creatures, we learn more about them and there planet. Be they Slug, or ant they are still the scum that keeps crimamal out of jail, and sheep humpers in! Anyway... $EAAHHHHHHHHH! Help! HELP! ARgh... ------------------ Salute! Lord General Mr. Bill Supreme Commander 1st Army Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 Originally posted by Lord General MB: ..... Anyway... $EAAHHHHHHHHH! Help! HELP! ARgh... ....Let's have a barbi then, and a bit of a singsong. Oi Mace where's that side of lamb you promised us?" cried the Generlissimo to everyones ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rex_Bellator Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 suprise, as everyone knew that Mace was due back in court that day on tax evasion charges after his nefarious insider dealing and investment frauds in Steam Powered Nuns Inc. Not you again sighed the judge... ------------------ "You wanna be starting something?" - Michael Jackson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 ..."and would you mind explaining WHY you have an inflatable sheep attached to you?" Plausible explanations raced through Mace's head. Try as he might though he just couldn't come up with a reason that wouldn't land him in jail. So Mace decided to do what he had to do to get out of this jam. He needed a distraction. With that thought in mind Mace firmly gripped the hind quarters of the plastic sheep. Tuffs of artificial sheep hair poked from Mace's hands, demonstrating the sheer strength of his grip. With the artificial, cotton covered, mammal firmly in place Mace proceeded to drive his... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueFalcon Posted February 17, 2001 Share Posted February 17, 2001 ...All your base are belong to us... http://members.nbci.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord General MB Posted February 17, 2001 Share Posted February 17, 2001 Soldiers, "cotton covered, mammal firmly in place Mace proceeded to drive his... " ....head into the judges stand! "Dieee! You fools!" He screamed and went running around the already severlly damaged court room. The Judge, scared ****less, by this strange display proseced to pull a fire arm out of his huge wig and opened fire. Luckly for Mace, all the blood rushing to his head ruduced the amount in his *Ahem* and so off came the sheep. But this might not be enough! The Judge pointed his MP44 at Mace and pulled the trigger..... ------------------ Salute! Lord General Mr. Bill Supreme Commander 1st Army Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 17, 2001 Share Posted February 17, 2001 Originally posted by Lord General MB: The Judge pointed his MP44 at Mace and pulled the trigger..... ...fortunately for Mace, the MP44 was in fact the StG44(V) with the 90 degree curved barrel, the Judge failing to recognize the difference as he wasn't a purveyor of Grog-porn. The full magazine load failed to pound into Mace's (well-built, broad shouldered, rugged, muscled) body (writer's note: It is so difficult to live with the burden of being so adorable to the opposite sex, but it is the cross I must bare...but I digress), but instead flew into the flesh of... [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-17-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted February 17, 2001 Share Posted February 17, 2001 ... but instead flew into the flesh of... A particularly large and acidic grapefruit. Juice and pulp flew everywhere. "Oh, for the love of God, my eyes!", shouted Mace as he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted February 18, 2001 Share Posted February 18, 2001 Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: A particularly large and acidic grapefruit. Juice and pulp flew everywhere. "Oh, for the love of God, my eyes!", shouted Mace as he... ...began dancing the Macarana uncontrolably -Suddenly- Hiram - "We have a transmission coming through!" Mace - "What!" Madmatt - "Hello Gentlemen. All your padlock are belong to us." All - "AAAAAA!" ... [This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 02-17-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 18, 2001 Share Posted February 18, 2001 Originally posted by The Commissar: Madmatt - "Hello Gentlemen. All your padlock are belong to us." All - "AAAAAA!" ... ...Madmatt exclaimed again "All your padlock are belong to us.", and again.... "All your padlock are belong to us." "All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us." oh, and "All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us. All your padlock are belong to us." By this time, Mace had managed to sneak around behind the evil (and somewhat repitative) cyborg, and removed .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted February 19, 2001 Share Posted February 19, 2001 ...his anus, which... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rucrazee Posted February 19, 2001 Share Posted February 19, 2001 which had been ripped from his pelvis by a well-placed rocket propelled grenade launched by a Chinese Elvis impersonator who had been.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted February 19, 2001 Share Posted February 19, 2001 Building a website for the last couple days. Finally he managed to escape from Las Vegas and... ------------------ Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. The Last Defense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted February 19, 2001 Share Posted February 19, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Building a website for the last couple days. Finally he managed to escape from Las Vegas and... ...fly to Philadelphia to go see a Phillies game with his... ------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted February 19, 2001 Share Posted February 19, 2001 ...his pimp and personal hair stylist, Yoda. "Money you must bring me, biatch" was one of his favorite sayings, the other being... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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