CrapGame Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 So, Any juicy tidbits for a CM-Vet who couldn't be there????? A crumb???? Anything???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 Where do I start?? I arrived at Dick's Last Resort around 6:30pm, the agreed upon time. Rune was there with Chuck SpanishBombs. Chuck is very nice and also a lawyer (cool, huh?). Rune turns out to be CM's version of an enthusiastic John Candy pushing his wares. Not quite the secretive wizened little sorceror of evil I had pictured in my mind. Thence began the drinking of mucho beer while we waited for Godot, that being Berli. (BTW, Berli does EXACTLY match the picture of a wizened little sorceror of evil.) Berli arrived wearing a Soviet army greatcoat and furry hat to match. You can't just buy those duds at the GAP, so I realized this was not an ordinary CM player. I suspect he is auditioning for the re-make of Dr. Zhivago. Berli also brought his kind and patient wife to watch the debaucery, although he never revealed why he wanted to punish her so. It's hard to believe a nice lady like Patch could produce the vile pictures we have seen on the Peng Challenge thread, but then you never know... After all, she married Satan. Rune set the tone for the whole get-together by choosing Dick's as the location. Now I'm no prude, but it was (to put it mildly) a raucus establishment. It is quite loud and smokey, with long tables covered with surplus toilet seat covers meant to be used as place mats. Large clumps of men and women (and even kids) are seated at the tables drinking while rude waiters bring beer and barbeques things in buckets. Not being a native mid-westerner, I was baffled at first by some of the customs in these regions. First, spandex and overexposure of bodies (both shapely and decidedly not shapely) are commonplace. Women's bras hang from the bar as trophies, and occasionally everyone stands around a customer who strips off her bra to add to the collection. Of course, the ritual drenching of a female customer with a pitcher of something occurred. Customers pelt each other constantly with spitballs, and people routinely throw paper napkins in the air as confetti. Dick's is the kind of place they clean out with a hose when the crowd goes home. When the waiter ultimately brought a skinny 16-year old kid up to the front and asked over the PA system if anybody wanted to help him get laid, I said to myself "Jake, you aren't in Kansas anymore, but Chicago is almost as classy." I thus award Dick's Last Resort the Lawyer's special rating of six condom machines, which in fact is the number attached above the urinals. Always the mark of a fine establishment. All in all, a good time was had by those of us who attended, although we couldn't hear much of what we were saying to each other. Probably just as good. We also got a few new fans for CM from foreign waiters and curious customers who saw it running on Rune's laptop. Berli, Patch and I finally left around 10pm. When we last saw Rune, he was happily engaged in pelting fellow customers with tiny bits of paper napkins. I had a huge hangover on Sunday. Tonight I'm going to meet Berli, Moriarty, and Bauhaus. How much can one body stand? Oh the humanity of it all! And I always thought Washington was the most venal place on earth... Chicago is truly the center of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 Stuka and I are SO MAD at you! In fact, we're both putting you on our Christmas card lists so we can cross you off!!!! Mace PS May your chooks turn into emus and kick down your dunny door. {edited just to let Lawyer that we're still MAD at him!} [ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Just to clarify some errors. 1. The spitballs were dry rolled up napkins 2. The 16 year old was brought to the back, not the front. He did get kissed. 3. I was tossing napkins at a good looking blond and her friend who held open their shirt to make a basket. 4. Lawyer was very nice and gave me two movies and a book. My son was thrilled to have them, but by mutual agreement with Berli, we did not give him his soul back. 5. Yes, they got a preview of CMBB but only after being sworn to secrecy. If you missed it, I told you not to. All were very impressed I think. They can answer that. 6. Patch has to talk about her hat she was given. 7. Mace, Lawyer did have a Fosters in your honor. He said it was all you deserved. 8. I was home by 1 AM. Rune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanish Bombs Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 My eyewitness report would be as follows: The only thing disappointing about the evening was that not enough people showed up, but, alas, it was their loss. Lawyer was very gracious and gave me two movies, Memphis Belle and Kelly's Heroes, both of which are classics in my book and will be used as ammunition in trying to talk my wife into buying a bigger screen TV. I will say this about Lawyer, he seems to have overcome the great adversity that was his undergraduate education (perhaps by attending a stellar law school). The Rune/John Candy connection had escaped me at the first Chicago get-together, but the hockey jersey clinches it. Fortunately his the wares he was hawking were somewhat more substantial than the shower-curtain rings Candy was selling in Planes,Trains and Automobiles. I was impressed indeed, but am also sworn to secrecy. I would also add that Berli's sorcerer powers must include the ability to talk his wife into attending computer game drinking fests at establishments like Dick's. My wife scoffed at the notion I was going out, for the second time in just over a month, to talk to guys about "that tank game". No, honey, I'm going there to meet another lawyer. As for the establishment itself, well, suffice it to say that at least one or two of the bras hanging over the bar were of the heavy armor variety. There were very big beers, and while I only had a few, I woke up the next morning with a hell of a headache. As I had tickets to a concert I had to leave before things really got going, but it was a real pleasure to talk to those that made it, and thanks to Rune for not disappointing. If you didn't make it, you should be kicking yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by rune: 7. Mace, Lawyer did have a Fosters in your honor. He said it was all you deserved.<hr></blockquote> Oh good, he hates me! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellfish Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Damn it. I should have been there. Curse my girlfriend AND MY STINKIN' LIBIDO! :mad: :mad: :mad: [ 12-11-2001: Message edited by: fytinghellfish ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by fytinghellfish: Curse my girlfriend AND MY STINKIN' <hr></blockquote> You passed up an evening with us and beer drinking for SEX?! Ok, I can see that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by rune: 6. Patch has to talk about her hat she was given. <hr></blockquote> There's really not much to say about my hat. It was just your typical winter hat which is a necessity in the windy city on a cold winter night. Thank you for the hat Rune! Let's say I owe you one. Anyone have a photo of Rune out there? Patch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 Here's a snapshot I took of the Lawyer Saturday at Dick's Last Resort in Chicago. I wish I had more pictures to show you but surprisingly the rest of the pictures I took didn't turn out, possibly because of Berli and Rune fogging the film. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 What a wicked lady! (with way too much time on her hands) Actually, this is a family version of what was written on the hat. And I certainly didn't wear a tie and suit to Dick's. Alas, I have returned to my lair near Washington. Chicago is a great place. See ya next time. Jake [ 12-11-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Wacky Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer: Not being a native mid-westerner, I was baffled at first by some of the customs in these regions. First, spandex and overexposure of bodies (both shapely and decidedly not shapely) are commonplace. Women's bras hang from the bar as trophies, and occasionally everyone stands around a customer who strips off her bra to add to the collection. Of course, the ritual drenching of a female customer with a pitcher of something occurred. Customers pelt each other constantly with spitballs, and people routinely throw paper napkins in the air as confetti. Dick's is the kind of place they clean out with a hose when the crowd goes home. When the waiter ultimately brought a skinny 16-year old kid up to the front and asked over the PA system if anybody wanted to help him get laid, I said to myself "Jake, you aren't in Kansas anymore, but Chicago is almost as classy." I thus award Dick's Last Resort the Lawyer's special rating of six condom machines, which in fact is the number attached above the urinals. Always the mark of a fine establishment. And I always thought Washington was the most venal place on earth... Chicago is truly the center of it all.<hr></blockquote> Welcome to Chicago, Greatest City in the Known Universe. I will stand by that statement till my death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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