PeterNZer Posted April 3, 2001 Author Share Posted April 3, 2001 SteveTheMouse, but has the audacity to make some small display of tactical ability against his Kannigget Hohoho. He lives in a world of his own that squire. Anyone else notice he's gone quiet on our game? Perhaps because in 60 seconds I killed 4 or his tanks? My losses remain - One half track AA gun - One mk 4 - One Armored car - One HT - the Btn Turtle 'Reggie' His are mounting second by second. It's amazing how he deployed. He decided to send EVERYTHING bar one Churchill up the flank. This, unfortunately, is very easily countered. As he only has the one tank in the middle, once it was destroyed i was able to move easily to box him in and ambush him. Now I just wait for him to try and move forward or back, either way he'll get nailed. Amusing. O, I want pics of the joust Battle my squireboy! PeterNZ ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and Joe Shaw - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies [This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Ah! Margo, I can sense that your pride has been cut to the bone. Not only did I take the shine off that forrest boy curling at your feet by beating him 80:20 (rough score, put me right Willy), I'm also driving you back over the Rhine. No matter how much you try, puffing out your puny, single-haired chest in false pretenses doesn't dull the pain. Take Asprin and sleep, my boy, the more the better. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Bah. I say again, bah. Let us begin here... JeevesonSmack decimated one of my platoons in the center and sent the other waddling away with their pants filled. Fortunately there was some form of retaliation as I knocked out several of his guns and men on my left. I not sure, but when the graphics go from “German figures shooting at you” to “iron crosses moving away,” that’s a good thing. My armor is now going to level the little village I’m sure his third detachment is in... not out of tactical necessity, certainly, but just because I can. He will undoubtedly try to stop me, which I consider in poor form, if not outright gamey. When it comes to getting the game over as quickly as possible, I invite you all to give mensch a go. By the third turn I had popped all his armor. Now, a few turns later, he gamily rushes my very, very, very well entrenched positions behind a very inadequate smoke barrage. Mensch, haven’t you read what the government says about secondhand smoke? I am now quite concerned for your men and their long-term health… do allow me to resolve that problem for you: keep advancing. PeterCNNer, who has gifted me one of my sigs, is quite correct: this game sucks and is no fun. I’m losing on one side of the map and he on the other. Things just suck in the middle. Who cares? Not him, me or you. I’d ceasefire or surrender if I didn’t hate the camera-mugging Kiwi. And I commend ButtCrack the Hosed: this is now the second time he has made up a ‘Pool-wide excuse to keep from losing to me. First his CDROM and now the weather... perhaps the next excuse will be “a gang of Duke fans raped me!” Who knows? Let us all eagerly anticipate his next whine. Now for the Dali-esque segment. My Most Just and Gracious Lord, jd, seeking to keep his blade sharp and his lance true, desired to smack his Squire (that’s me for those of you drinking right now... and I hate you if you are) around for practice. Never one to disappoint my Liege, I cobbled together a wonderful little scenario – my first – and sent it off to him. “JD’s Revenge” it was called; a lovely set-to with jd as an elite KT driver and me as the LT in a jeep. Flat map. Clear weather. I could already hear him typing “Lorak! Scribe thusly...!” But no! He wants a “fair” game! Apparently breathing the kultursmog of the Left Coast has withered his mind to the point of being designated Speaker to Hamsters. Either that, or he is developing some disgusting sense of fair play. Pardon me whilst I hurl.... I owe bauhaus a setup or a sitdown; I just can’t recall. Anyone forgotten obviously owes me a turn. So, let us finish here... I see that Meeks/Hamsters has metastasized again into this PawBroon/ Harpoon-whatever thing. Perhaps they and the various and sundry Hirams can daytrip to the UN to form their own NGO (“Peoples’ United for a Pyroflatulant Society”). Being an ignorant, uppity Squire, I am making a scenario called Berli-Land; everything’s burning and the evil Hun has flamethrowers, lots of flamethrowers. If this is some sort of design infringement, wank me. My experiment with playing non-Poolers is at a 1:2 turn return rate. Things suck out there. The people too (or at least half of them; please see Festung Crooda for details). The news media, lost on the sorry details of Foot (hoof, whatever) and Mouth disease has completely missed the tragedy of Australia’s breakout of Mace-in-Sheep. Where’s Matt Drudge when we really need him? And finally, speaking of the other side of the planet, the Chinese are doing their Claude Rains routine in that they are “Shocked! Shocked to discover ELINT planes off our coastline!” thus likely delaying the acquisition of my daughter for months. As OGSFCNNTIMEWARNER would say: “Baaastarrrrds!” ------------------ "Iskander, creator of The Dullest CM Game Ever" - PeterNZer "Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 I am quiet, dear Petal, because I am still reeling from the shock your gameyness reaches. I had bearly begun to move in any appreciable way when almost my whole armoured force was reduced to providing the freakin' wildlife with new metal-clad dwellings. Some with built-in central heating. It is IMPOSSIBLE for this to happen to one so skilled as yours truly. I have practically nothing left to attack you with and I'm considering alternatives. Bastard. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 It's great fun to watch platoon after platoon come running into your prepared defenses. They come, they go, each time less goers that comers. Great! Ikisshands you really must try something a little bit less direct. Or not, of course! Hell, it's all the same to me. I'm getting to know how to position more effective ambush points with the most efficient Distance:Kill ratios. I'd watch out with those three tanks parked side by side on the hill too. You may be under the (delirious) illusion that I don't have that hill well covered by even more guns! OK, yes, fair dinkum, you polished off some guns on my flank with the railway guns you have behind you, but the position has served it's purpose. I'd be surprised if you had any troops on that side with legs still intact. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by stevetherat: It's great fun to watch platoon after platoon come running into your prepared defenses. They come, they go, each time less goers that comers... you really must try something a little bit less direct.... StR Are you trying to imply that this isn't a WWI simulation?! Yeah, right! Why not read the manual: it clearly says... er... well... ------------------ "Iskander, creator of The Dullest CM Game Ever" - PeterNZer "Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Were I as DekeFentle, I’d scurry and hide; the fact that he’s mental is known far and wide. If I fought like DekeFentle, I’d turn tail and flee; his foe’s loss incidental, no vict’ry by he. Had I wit like DekeFentle, no laughs would I hear; his audience judgmental, he gets but a leer. Were I puffed as DekeFentle, my head soon would pop; with ego accidental, not fit to spread slop. ‘Bout this git called DekeFentle, I could prattle on, with phrases ungentle, from dusk ‘til the dawn. But this piss-boy DekeFentle, he’s not worth the breath; his brain is on rental, And he bores us to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted April 3, 2001 Author Share Posted April 3, 2001 Rather well done for a gutter snipe Leoo Oy, Git! I mean Squire! SEND ME PICTURES OF THE HAMSTER BLOODFEST And me? Gamey? Are you mad? If you call gamey 'sitting with some tanks waiting for you to drive into sight' then perhaps I am. If that's the case you probably think the other player having units is gamey, you stupid english sot PeterNZ ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and Joe Shaw - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Sod, you goof, SOD. What the hell is a sot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by stevetherat: What the hell is a sot? A drunk, you sod. (May I call you 'turf'? No wonder you're squired to a guy who goes by 'Peat'! Heh. Lawdy, I hates puns, but not as much as I hate all of you.) Agua Perdido [Edited for no real reason at all.] ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! [This message has been edited by Agua Perdido (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Oh marvelous AP! Marvelous. Trawling the archives I came across this: http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/017804.html Excellent work. I support the mulitple gunmen theory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 All who view this diatribe can see, that of Leeo it’s been said Better to bet on snow in hell, than synaptic activity in his head. With no thought for the gentle reader he vomits prose of slime. With a simpleton’s disregard for alliteration, meter and or rhyme. A pen of poisoned blather wielded by a goat, Leeo the sucking squire, copying words that others wrote. A conclusion in sympathy, that many of you may reach, is that this poor misguided case is out of medical reach. So to a quiet place of rest, I think you should retire. Ending your abortive groveling of inanity and ire. Remember mein klienes kind the often quoted golden rule. Wary of doing unto others as they may do unto you. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Edited because the cretin below was right, which I guess puts me in the less than desired position of accepting corrections from said cretin. Ah well, that still places my position in the hierarchy around here volumes ahead of leeo. [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 04-03-2001).] [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpooner Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Quiet, not quite, it is not rhyming if you use the same word and it's 'unto', not 'onto'. [This message has been edited by harpooner (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by harpooner: Quiet, not quite, it is not rhyming if you use the same word and it's 'unto', not 'onto'. [This message has been edited by harpooner (edited 04-03-2001).] Piss off, I'm at work and I threw that together in about five min. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by harpooner: Quiet, not quite, it is not rhyming if you use the same word and it's 'unto', not 'onto'. Yeah, though I'm loathe to agree with the Dekester, bugger off!, you serf piss-boy wannabe. Go toddle off to the kiddie pool where people will appreciate the logs you leave floating in the shallow end. The muck in here will soon clog that yap-trap that ostensibly serves as your mouth. Now run along like a good little serf. There ya go... be a good little twit and skedaddle. ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Leeo: Yeah, though I'm loathe to agree with the Dekester, bugger off!, you serf piss-boy wannabe. Go toddle off to the kiddie pool where people will appreciate the logs you leave floating in the shallow end. The muck in here will soon clog that yap-trap that ostensibly serves as your mouth. Now run along like a good little serf. There ya go... be a good little twit and skedaddle. Mmmmm.... Perhaps your not the condom encased sausage I thought you to be Leeo In the spirit of our unlikely agreement over the stature of the whale sticker perhaps we should resolve our differences on the pixled field of dishonor? If you can get your face out of your liege lords arse long enough to put something together let me know. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Edited Because I can't fricking type today. [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 04-03-2001).] [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: In the spirit of our unlikely agreement over the stature of the whale sticker perhaps we should resolve our differences on the pixled field of dishonor? Mark it down for posterity that we agreed as to the mundane stupidity of the pig-sticker, for it is likely the last time we will agree (unless of course you see the light and proclaim yourself for the true horses arse you are). Our differences would most soundly be solved with pistols at 10 paces, but that seems unlikely to occur anytime soon. So, in it's place, I propose a 1500pt QB. Set the parameters as you like, and send me the file. I'll be home to get it around 4pm PDT. Now get back to work, you slacking string of sparrow spittle! (alliterated merely to poke fun at you) ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted April 3, 2001 Author Share Posted April 3, 2001 Dekenfetlerete* (whatever your name) and/or Leeo, I am keen to play one of you. I see some poolyness in you that needs to be encouraged, lets bring that inner Croda out and stamp it into the ground. Feeling the pain of defeat at my hands should do that. I would challenge one of you at a time, as per standard pool rules, but as you are nothing to me, I will challenge you how i choose as it is simply more economical with time. I demand a setup. Me on defence with about 3,000 points. Make it an armor battle for our amusement. You take the vile brits. Somewhat realistic forces please, daytime please, fairly generic landscape please. One or both of you accept my challenge. Nothing less is expected. PeterNZ *I've got nasal excavations more comprehensible than your nickname and it really isn't worth my time to work it out. [edited because i can] ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and Joe Shaw - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies [This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by PeterNZer: Dekenfetlerete* (whatever your name) and/or Leeo, I am keen to play one of you. I see some poolyness in you that needs to be encouraged, lets bring that inner Croda out and stamp it into the ground. Feeling the pain of defeat at my hands should do that. I would challenge one of you at a time, as per standard pool rules, but as you are nothing to me, I will challenge you how i choose as it is simply more economical with time. I demand a setup. Me on defence with about 3,000 points. Make it an armor battle for our amusement. You take the vile brits. Somewhat realistic forces please, daytime please, fairly generic landscape please. One or both of you accept my challenge. Nothing less is expected. PeterNZ *I've got nasal excavations more comprehensible than your nickname and it really isn't worth my time to work it out. [edited because i'm a wussy] Peter, if you were really tough, you wouldn't force him to be British. I know that my opinion isn't welcome but I offer it anyway. ------------------ "Sturm, Swung, Wucht" - Lt. Gen. Erwin Rommel http://www.derkessel.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madmatt Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Time for a new one gentle(men/women/others?) Madmatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Hi Mom. ------------------ And one more thing...can someone explain the cesspool to me? I'd go myself, but I may have another psychotic episode and beat the hell out of everyone in there too! - Ancient query from an infant Croda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 I shall have my evil way! An R.E.M. thread at last! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 death to matt the cowardly elk!!!!! yess you my pretty.. look at thy challange in the new peng thread... I laugh at you.. i mock you... i dance a silly little challange dance on your balding head.. beohld....!!! you ninny! ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. "So if it is a coy of flamethowers lighting up everything in sight like a Mongolian barbecue chef gone postal, and your opponent is OK with it, PLAY ON!" -The_Capt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpooner Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 All your base are belong to Peng! All seats are made out of genuine corpse now. ------------------ "So be cheery, my lads, let your hearts never fail, While the bold harpooner is striking the whale!" -Nantucket Song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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