Agrow Posted April 18, 2000 Share Posted April 18, 2000 I just want to take a poll on how many of you men/ or women if any... maybe not for CM only, but for any wargame that is the latest craze.. end up having serious issues with their wives / girlfriends because they spend more time with the game then they do with their spouse. And if so why do you invest so much of your time in games and WWII history? What do you get in return? Should Wargaming have its own group meetings like Alcoholic's Anonymous? If you don't want to post your responses on here, write to my email agrow@hotmail.com. I am trying to figure out what the big deal is. I could understand if CM had Double D breasts, was 6 foot and blonde, but let's face it.. it seems pretty dull to me to ruin a relationship over. Now some couples have problems period, but I am just referring to those of u whose major problems revolve around an addiction to Wargaming. What do u think causes it? What are u willing to give up to play ur Wargames? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaos Posted April 18, 2000 Share Posted April 18, 2000 I'm a man, so therefore, I don't need to spend a great deal of time analyzing my motives. I just do what I want, when I want. chaos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sabot Posted April 18, 2000 Share Posted April 18, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agrow: I just want to take a poll on how many of you men/ or women if any... maybe not for CM only, but for any wargame that is the latest craze.. end up having serious issues with their wives / girlfriends because they spend more time with the game then they do with their spouse. ***Agrow, i'm sure you're smart enough to figure out the problem is in the relationship, not the game. And if so why do you invest so much of your time in games and WWII history? What do you get in return? *** Sanctuary , Seriously, you mean to tell me you have no other interests other than your Hub? Should Wargaming have its own group meetings like Alcoholic's Anonymous? *** No, because wargamers don't have problems with wargames. Most of us view it as a hobby, an interest, nothing more. Those that don't need professional help If you don't want to post your responses on here, write to my email agrow@hotmail.com. I am trying to figure out what the big deal is. I could understand if CM had Double D breasts, was 6 foot and blonde, but let's face it.. it seems pretty dull to me to ruin a relationship over. ***If CM was a 6 foot blonde with Double d's then she would be fun to play but would have no AI Now some couples have problems period, but I am just referring to those of u whose major problems revolve around an addiction to Wargaming. ***Again, you blame the game for the problem. It's only a game. What do u think causes it? What are u willing to give up to play ur Wargames? ***$45 + $8 S/H <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Best laugh all day long!!!!! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Black Sabot: ***If CM was a 6 foot blonde with Double d's then she would be fun to play but would have no AI <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wargames have their place, that's why I stay up late after the wife has gone to bed. Then again wargames don't cause break ups or strains, rather it's people and their relationship that deterines how it is handled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dalton Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Interesting question! Wargaming (PC or board) is a hobby - something that the person gets personal enjoyment out of. Each for thier own reasons. Hobbies of any sort become a problem when the hobby takes up enough time that your spouse/significant other (s/o) feels ignored. I've seen similiar relationship problems with sports and volunteer organizations! I think that wargaming causes more relationship problems than other hobbies for a number of reasons: - nothing is produced to justify the hobby as being productive (not a ornament for the house, not physical exercise, nothing artistic) - your s/o does not empathize with the attraction to wargamming (there is a whole other thread on the attraction of WWII gaming) - you are at home, yet "not available", adding to the feelings of being ignored Personally, I spend as much (or more) time playing and coaching soccer as I do playing wargames; yet I get 1000% times more flak for gaming. Overall, there needs to be a compromise in the relationship if it is to succeed. Anyone 20+ years old that plays wargames enjoys wargaming, like it or not this won't change. What needs to be negotiated is what is an acceptable amount of time that the person can use to pursue their hobby, and have thier s/o feel appreciated and involved in the relationship. Personally, I spend 2-3 evenings a week with a new game. Once some of the shine has worn off (2-3 weeks, depending how soon Jenn starts giving me disgusted looks ) then I cut back to 1 evening a week or less - and supplement with discussions on-line at work. (like this...) ...Dalton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darwin Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Hmmm tricky ground... I don't know if my situation should count as I think my last girlfriends need for constant attention was beyond the norm, however, my use of the computer would allways make trouble. But then again so would my attempts to read in peace or attempts to pay full attention to news, movies, whatever. It's unfortunate that our needs differed so much, she cared a lot but... Adios babay Although I would hate to have my interests ruin a relationship, why must it be one or the other? If I cant spend at least a small portion of my time doing guy stuff (mountain biking, basketball, hanging out, playing wargames, whatever) then perhaps the relationship is not what I'm looking for... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PeterNZ Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 You guys bother with relationships? shag 'em and leave em. Best way. then i don't get any gyp about wargaming PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS_PanzerLeader Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 LOL@PETE NZ Hear hear ------------------ SS_PanzerLeader.......out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Gals more important to me then CM. End of story. ------------------ Visit my webpage! http://cm4mac.tripod.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shriker Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 In my case, the only problem I have is that my GF hogs the computer to play "the SIMS". ..once I get my other computer hooked up that problem should be solved. Otherwise, if there are problems with her complaining that he plays on the computer too much, I'd advise that he have his S.O. lay on her stomach on the floor under his computer desk, and then he can massage her back with his toes while he plays on the computer! It's a win-win situation! <G> Just a thought.. -Shriker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bastables Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Playing war games is not the problem in such a situation, it a symptom of wider problem's within the relationship. Heh when I had these problems I could not gain an pleasure from war gaming yet I continued with it or left the house to watch movies alone or even worse drink. The latter was especially horrible because I'm a Muslim, hmm had to leave the Regular force due to the OC belief that I needed time off. That was a terrible year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von shrad Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 If theres one thing i know thats how to make a woman feel like shes #1....Just ask my 3rd wife, she'll tell you. (J/K) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MantaRay Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Are you kidding? I have not gone to bed earlier than 2AM in the year I have been with the wifey. She has to drag my ass off to do anything, but atleast now I have a valid excuse as to why I am not on the computer.(See Link Below) It is all good though as she likes to go to the chat rooms when she is on, so I am not totally without ammo. But if your relationship is strong enough, then nothing will get in your relationship anyway. So if you are breaking up over time spent on the computer...then there was something wrong anyway! Ray ------------------ MantaRays 5 Pages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moon Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 The trick is to reveal your hobby and what it implies before you get together. It's part of my personality, and she has to take it as it is - or not... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Username Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Well my girlfriend (who supports me..haha!!) who is vietnamese says "American always like the wars.. nevah win!!!". Well I say.. So hunny britches its like this. I got the sturmartillerie when you got the small bunker babie!! Once you get these close support big guns you wont go running back to the them rear echelon mudder truckers!! (have I made any sense yet?). Anyway. Men are into alot of things women cant understand. Football. Guns. Sports. Whatever. Theres no making of sense here. Its a fascination. A feeling. A certain male hormone agressiveness. A drive. if you are for real you will take this for what it is worth. If you are a guy ..a plausible situation..take it for what you want out of it. Ever see a wargamer on a breastfeeding forum? Lewis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freelancal Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 It's all balance. My wife doesn't mind an off night that I can ignore her. She spends enough time on the phone to compensate. PeterNZ and I have published a movie and some how I have convinced her, that somewhere in there is a money making activity, if only my talents are discovered. I choose very carefully the time I devote to the game. Usually weekend mornings before anyone is up. Occassionally I play a game or two during work, while my boss is away...waite a minute, I'm self emoployed so that doesn't count. Why do I play? It's a diversion. It keeps me off the streets, out of trouble and I'm not in front of the tube. What do I give up? Nothing! If it wasn't for this great game I'd diverting somewhere else. That's it! Over and Out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaffertape Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Well, I've met the woman I'm going to marry, and she is exceedingly patient with my hobby. For reasons that I cannot entirely fathom, she finds it endearing (how watching hundreds of little computer men slaughtering each other can be described this way is somewhat disturbing to say the least). We share a lot of interests, but we also have some individual ones - we just seem to have a great deal of mutual respect. She rocks! GAFF Spoiled rotten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanE Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dalton: - nothing is produced to justify the hobby as being productive (not a ornament for the house, not physical exercise, nothing artistic) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That was a great benefit of boardgames: some of those maps looked great and would make a wonderful addition to any room's decor. Plus the exercise you would get from having to move the map and all the counters after you were told to get it off of the dining room table. ------------------ Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 I would say that wargames are analagous to a job, specifically a job that one really enjoys doing. For a small minority of wargamers, as for clinically diagnosed workaholics, their hobby has become an addiction; these persons need professional help, but they are really a very small number. For the rest of us, wargames are one of many choices we have for our leisure time. Different individuals will make different choices as to how they allocate that time between spouse/family, wargames, bungee jumping, dwarf tossing, etc. Sometimes a new game comes out that is powerfully attractive (Civilization comes to mind) and capable of devouring large amounts of time, although I would guess there is usually a pretty rapid fall off over timein hours played. This is analogous to a major project at work, except it doesn't pay as well. With regard to relationships, if you know that your intended/S.O./current life-companion devotes a large proportion of his leisure time to playing wargames before you make things legal, chances are that he will not change his behaviour after your nuptials. The only major exception to this is if and when you have kids, and even that is not guaranteed. [Dr. Laura mode] Do not fall into the trap of believing that you can change him. You can't, but you can sure beat your head to a metaphorical pulp trying. The only person who can change him is he himself. If there's something you don't like now, chances are very good (barring major life-changing event,e.g., religious epiphany) that you won't like it after the wedding. Either live with it or don't. [/Dr. Laura mode] Ethan ------------------ Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonpie Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 wo-men? Oh...I think I have heard of them. The ones with the long hair and the two big bumps on thier chests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woody Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Me and my other have been at odds about computer gaming at times, but overall she tolerates it as long as it does not interfere with our time together or becomes my primary source of joy. She bought me my computer as a gift so I could play games so she expect me to give it up! Anyway, she does her own thing sometimes. Yoga, dance, friends etc. Thats when I play mostly ,and I'm probably better off for it. Problem with CM is it has got me going more than any other game I've played, so it will take some discipline. Anyway, if it becomes that important to me I'll tell her and we will go from there. It won't be a relationship breaker, that is for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mch Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Girlfreinds,S/O's,etc..and Computer games? that's nothin'....... Board Wargames and Housepets..... THAT'S A PROBLEM!!!!!! ------------------ It is no disgrace to be defeated...It is a disgrace to be surprised. -attr.to Fredrick the Great- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sabot Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 Agrow, I'm sure you've been monitoring your thread ever since you posted, have the responses helped you in any way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trooper Posted April 19, 2000 Share Posted April 19, 2000 I think anything can be worked around.. For a lot of my relationship with the GF, I would only see her on weekends (Different town). Now, unfortunately, Other things also happen on weekends: Military training and wargaming. I'm a social gamer, I am much more into going around to a friend's house with model soldiers and dice than I am into sitting in front of a PC. However, on occasion there would be cases wherein I would be off with the army one weekend, there's a gaming convention the next weekend, so it's a solid three weeks of not seeing each other because of my interest in tanky-things. This becomes four if there's something she has planned as well. What would generally happen then is that I would 'allocate extra time' to her the next couple of weeks to make up for it. She never got into gaming herself though.. I've always wanted to get her to the gaming table for the sake of spending time with my girl and my hobby at the same time, alas, this never came to pass. Then again, she did buy me Railroad Tycoon 2 a while back, and is very happy when she calls and hears the music and choo-ing in the background! I guess it could be considered a forced distribution of time allocation. NTM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howitzer Posted April 20, 2000 Share Posted April 20, 2000 Nope. My relationship with CM is just fine, thanks. And, I don't think CM is jealous of the other games, either. Later, Steve C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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