Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[von shrad]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Croda said: I will maim you so that your dog will whimper at the sight of you, children will throw their ice-cream cones at you and run away, and big birds will **** on your head whenever possible. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROTF. Very good Adorc, but I must admit that the dog was recently rounded up and sent for "The Shot", the children beaten and put to bed without dinner, and the poor, poor birds. All those broken little legs. Who would have thought that seed-covered mouse traps would have caused so much damage?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> J-O 87 said: One shot-one kill against his Pershing from the Panther bearing my mother's germanic maiden name. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

How will you ever tell her that the Panther in question is being overrun by my Sherm 105 and 2 Platoons of infantry as we speak. Some son you are. You should just run away from home now and save your family any future embarrassment.

Herr Eggbert- Where is my turn creampuff? Green infantry only. You are a sick, sick man.

Adorc- There is no more delaying the inevitable. I am your new Master. You will bow down before me and lick the soles of my boots only to get a taste of a true commander. {sit down Elvira}

I think the 'knights', and I use that term loosely, should be named The Re-Kniggits

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[This message has been edited by von shrad (edited 11-13-2000).]

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

Bow down, children, Daddy's home. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gawd, they must hate that.

Lorak! Chalk up another, laddie, for your smiling local god of war (that would be moi, contact PawBroom for a translation), and a defeat for Mr. Shaw. Sadly, he was compelled to surrender by external factors before I could ride down the remnants of his dazed forces, in particular the crew of a farging Chaffee which killed a Panther. Hope he's back soon.

The Lawyer is spitted and just about done- the juice has quit running out, anyway. He's not a Cesspudlian but ought to be, and one should always brag up lawyer-killin's.

Hakko Achoo has either succumbed to his disgusting ailment or has deliberately taken poison.

The posthumous kanigget Formerly Babra has once again had the temerity to indulge my whims for wanton destruction; just beginning.

Saving the last for, well, last, the wretch Gerbiltoy has tricked me into a scenario pitting Cub Scouts against the SAS or somebody, and has given me some double-decker tour buses so he can brag up fighting an "armored" force. The little cubbies are responding well to my guidance, however, so this will be a slugfest of some kind at some point.

That's it for current pool smacktivity.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Please Crodachoo you're getting too excited, that's my leg, go find Mark IV"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Neither of you is even permitted to think, much less utter, my name.

I remember when Crudda was recruited, and failed to exercise my awesome veto powers when I had the chance. I was there when the Curious Fruit was exiled to Mother England and supported it in Parliament. I have found greater annoyances than either of you (and with considerably more personal appeal) in my hankie.

[PeterNZer]

Mark IV mark IV MARK FOUR mk. 4

try and stop me little man, your squeaking does nothing to frighten me. Perhaps a fight over the utterance of your name is due. And if I win, you can address me as 'Sir PeterNZ' from now on, no other nomenclature or pseudonyms, that shall be my title upon your bettering.

Send the file, minion.

PeterNZ

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"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." George W Bush -Saginaw, Mich.,

Sept. 29, 2000

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

I am tired of life and wish to die horribly and publicly<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very well, my little spitoon, my 75s shall do my squeaking for me this very evening. Bid adieu to your kin and for god's sakes remove that bit of fleece from your zipper.

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

I remember when Crudda was recruited, and failed to exercise my awesome veto powers when I had the chance.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And right you should have. It is typical for man, when seeing his impending demise upon the horizon, to make all attempts to cast it out before it has a chance to close its long, icy fingers 'round his throat. And now, sir, now that you can hear the crackling of the petrified knuckles and the stretching of the ageless sinew, can feel the ambient temperature directly below your chin dip a few degrees, and have a sudden compulsion to pee-pee in your frilly, lace panties, you wish to the gods above and below that you had cast that mighty veto. Alas. It is too late, and your time is coming. I work in my own time, so don't think you can stave me off.

Because I could not stop for death, death kindly stopped for me...

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"Nuts!"

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 11-13-2000).]

[PeterNZer]

Crodachoo RETURN!

[jshandorf]

Well, I suppose it is time for a game update:

Schubert-n-pie: I have bombed the city to near ruin and now he braces for my attack. Peek-a-boo senility where are you? Alie-alie-oxen-free! Come-out come-out where ever you are! Hey, little kid, I got some candy for ya..ahh.. I mean.. awww... forget it.

Chubby-n-short: (At least that's what the girls say) The scenario from Wild Bill is to say the least.. amusing. YOU amuse me. How your men scurry to and fro. I wait for your "reinforcements" to engage me instead of running backward. Do you really think you will find a way past me? You dim-witted dweeb.

Cruuuud-da: Ahhhhh! We begin again and what a lovely way to start things off! Your HT goes "Whoooosh!" with hamstertruppen inside. You picked random weather now deal with it.

Hairy-Butt: "Blah... blah.. blah.. my 170mm arty knocked out 2 HTs.." OOOOooooo.. You big man. How many people here actually consider their HTs nothing more than fodder? Hmmm? Your big arty has done nothing to dislodge me from the city and this plan of knocking it down grows bleaker with every passing turn.

Funny how you failed to mention how I set that house on fire and your men scurried from it into the street like bunch autistic kids who didn't get their green jello.

(THIS SLOT OPEN. THIS COULD BE YOU!): I await a new challenge so that I can pound a few more cesspooligans to the bottom of the pool. In fact lately I have taken a fancy to PeterNZer! Yes, Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater! I want to crush you! You brag way too much and I feel you need to be put in your "place". Which is by my side crying and grasping for my hand like the little girly man you are.

Come get some.

Jeff

[This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 11-13-2000).]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

Baaa Baaaa Beat me like a redheaded stepchild.

Send me a setup.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

(I Quickly remove my lamb's wool sweater...)

It will be on its way this very evening.

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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis. - Anon. German General

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 11-13-2000).]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat:

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

[Hiram Sedai]

Pardon me as I verbally drop trau once again:

My games as of 11/13/00 (No particular order)

Meeks - He is cheating. I can find no logical reason for me losing so much so fast. It simply cannot be that I am tactically inept. This just cannot be I tell myself.

Croda - Fun to be had. The fog hasn't slowed our slugfest. He's been having a funky good time with my infantry. All in all, its been an enjoyable fight.

JDMorse - We started again after the severe beating he put through in our fight. I had the excuse of being a newbie in that one. If and when I lose this one, it will just be because of his superior intellect and whatever I make up later on.

Elvis - He has not left the building. Elvis has shown me new things to do with my troops and encourages me after I do stupid things. The exchange goes like this. "Hiram, remember when you were walking your infantry in the open and I gunned them down? Well, stop doing that"

Berli - I'm waiting for his reaction after he watches the latest movie. Oh funny. happy happy joy joy (sorry Ren)

Moriarty - He has got to be toying with me. He let be blow up all of his armor and is hiding in a building right now with some infantry. I just know that he is hiding a Sherman Jumbo somewhere back there. Perhaps I should scout with my snipers (What say you, PeterNZer??) I'm German, so I don't have any Jeeps. hehe

OGSF - Watching paint dry is somewhat more exciting than the slow and sloppy battle we've had. Its a war of attrition. I attrit and he hides. Shortly after the new year, I'm sure we'll be half way through our Knighthood Challenge. There was one exciting battle where he had a flamethrowing guy and I had fodder to be cooked.

I'm ready to battle any other Knight or Squire if you want an apathetic opponent.

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I'm ready to battle any other Knight or Squire if you want an apathetic opponent.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Squire or Knight I am not; however, as Cpt. Crawdad has seen fit to drop me on this desolate Island with you, perhaps we could pass the time with a little tilt. Send a setup.

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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis. - Anon. German General

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Sir Seachai, I am saddened to see that you are indeed bereft of testosterone. I had thought that living in the land of the "Vikes" would have toughened you up by now, But it would appear that your effeminate nature is truly indominateable and pervasive. When it started snowing in August, did you put on your coat of the fuschia hue and your Pokemon mittens to play in the snow? I could try to explain passion for football to you, but I'm sure it would be met with much eye rolling and deep sighing on your knightly part.

Please let me know when you want to share in a PBEM. Now that would be good entertainment.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Saucy monkey!(Gad, that one made even me shudder), you dare raise your eyes to my countenance, and your voice in my presence?!

Good for you, Hiram. I shall send you a setup tonight. Although I am horribly swamped with games, most are past the setup point, so they're moving along a little better. Post any preferences you have here, so I can make sure your Squirely feelings aren't hurt. Oh, and I didn't realize your beloved Philadelphia Eagles were a football team. Who plays goalie for them, and forwards? I assume they're a little American startup effort?

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Squire or Knight I am not; however, as Cpt. Crawdad has seen fit to drop me on this desolate Island with you, perhaps we could pass the time with a little tilt. Send a setup.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now, Hiram, remember the snarl that I taught you. You'll recall that it came out first when you tripped my AT ambush with 2 Stugs, and then again when a PIAT team ran laughing up to the side of your Panther and punched nasty littel holes in it, recurred when my 105mm SP blew up that house full of your bad guys, will continue in the next turn when my large caliber arty begins to fall on your head again, and of course is crawling to your face as you read this and see your name and ill-conceived attack dragged through the muck at the bottom of the Pool. Enjoy your new roommate. Don't let Roborunt short-sheet his bed, and I don't want to see him hanging around down by the lake after curfew with Stuka either!

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"Nuts!"

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Squire or Knight I am not; however, as Cpt. Crawdad has seen fit to drop me on this desolate Island with you, perhaps we could pass the time with a little tilt. Send a setup.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

QUESTION FOR THE POOL

Would there be anyone who would like to provide a scenario for me and the guy named after a town that sits on the River Thames? A sufficiently evil one would do nicely thank you. QB's have become tiresome for me.

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

QUESTION FOR THE POOL

Would there be anyone who would like to provide a scenario for me and the guy named after a town that sits on the River Thames? A sufficiently evil one would do nicely thank you. QB's have become tiresome for me.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sure, but I make no pretensions whatsoever of fairness, sound map design, historicality, or just about anything else. The greater your pain, the more I'll laugh.

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Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

QUESTION FOR THE POOL

Would there be anyone who would like to provide a scenario for me and the guy named after a town that sits on the River Thames? A sufficiently evil one would do nicely thank you. QB's have become tiresome for me.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Be really evil, use Crodaburg!

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"Nuts!"

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

Sure, but I make no pretensions whatsoever of fairness, sound map design, historicality, or just about anything else. The greater your pain, the more I'll laugh.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you Chickapoo. (Soy bean super bean super soy milk) Evil is all I ask for. Evil or morbid. Well, come to think of it, perhaps carnal would help too. A carnal, morbid map bereft of foliage. Mooohahah

ahem

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

I have come to this Cesspool, and journeyed up the Schloss Peng under the apparently mistaken impression that this was a challenge thread...

pointless gibberish that does nothing to alleviate his feelings of inadequacy

As originator of the thread, you should be ashamed.

makes several excellent points about how many tedious topics arise on the general Board, including some wank starting up the running HMG concept again

... retire to the realm of Rob and unpleasant and useless individual's name deleted to avoid encouraging him to continue showing up here like a pedophile stalking a playground

my journey to the source of the Schloss Peng will not be swayed by incompetent provincials or surly natives.

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 11-13-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, for my money, he can stay. He's made few or no references to bodily functions or thingies, actually sports a knowledge of literature more extensinve than "Hottest Teen Porn Sites on the Web!!!", and actually took the trouble to do some creative work in which he portrayed me fairly accurately (with the exception that I'm far more vicious and depraved than the poor little tyke could ever imagine. I am, in fact, Kurtz. I know, some of you thought Berli would be Kurtz, but you're not thinking things through. Berli is the Power that I have gone into the Wilderness and sold my soul to. Use some sense.)

Anyway, I think people should give him some games. I would but I'm dropping under the strain of the ones I have already, and I've had to add Hiram, because he's becoming obstreperous.

Also, he's inspired Croda to actually make some attempt to move beyond his recent pattern of posts into something more entertaining. And Croda's right, I don't like to get wet. But I do, indeed, go out that far. Remember Sparky? Sometimes I'll be found quite far from the crumbling shores of Schloss Peng.

Now, I am deeply concerned with the fact that the Kiwis seem to worship bad Japanese children's cartoons. Perhaps we should look into some form of counseling for them.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Well, I suppose it is time for a game update:

Hairy-Butt: "Blah... blah.. blah.."

Funny how you failed to mention how I set that house on fire and your men scurried from it into the street like bunch autistic kids who didn't get their green jello.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Poor Jeff, he still doesn't get it...

It is neither my position nor my duty to report on any incidents in our battle that reflect badly on moi.

I am however, supposed to brag ceaselessly about the pain and suffering I have inflicted on your troopers. Thus far, I count two HT's knocked out, two others immobilized, and one 50cal team killed. Decent results thus far considering the assets I have deployed against you.

In the beginning I told you via Email that this was an experiment on my part. Each evening when I loook down into the little petri dish where you are plotting your "master strategy" to win the battle, I see your poor primitive lifeform laid bare. With an infantry unit here, some arty there, I prod and poke (Down Bauhaus! Down! *whip cracks* Down Bauhaus!! *more whip cracks*). Damn, where was I... Oh yes, as I experiment on the map, attempting to see if there is any intelligence in the responses and maneuvers, I am engaging in a little light mental exercise, nothing more. You are, I hope, more varied and complex that the AI, but I reserve final judgement on that statement...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Roborat]

Carefull, senileboy, or you might draw the attention of the Sailor Scouts. As the prime member of the Negaverse, they consider you a prime target. Sailor Neptune is kind of hot, though, wouldn't mind fighting (wrestling) with her.

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"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>SeaSex&Lost2MuchEveryOne:

Hottest Teen Porn Sites on the Web!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ok, now I usually do my own search and sometimes I even go as far as to do some for the others as certain recent contributions on my part have illustrated.

But would you be kind enough to eMail me the actual URL as I need to see this for myself (as a scholar of course)...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am, in fact, Kurtz...

I know, some of you thought Berli would be Kurtz, but you're not thinking things through. Berli is the Power that I have gone into the Wilderness and sold my soul to. Use some sense.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Let me see.

That one is a very simple test of logical fiendishness.

Marlow is the buggering newbie who's charged to find Kurtz (IE you) to kill him because you (IE Kurtz) are now a ravening lunatic.

To which I must say, do not go and slay every single lunatics in here because it will soon be a full time job...

Anyway, Senilurtz is killing all of the guys named Charlie because he wants their ivory.

Now why he should go out and kill them Charlies in the Wilderness is something to ponder.

Being Minnesotan and living close to those hunting grounds, Colonel Lost2Peng is tempted to go up there and make some money off the locals to even out his loss while betting on the Vikings.

Killing Minnesotan VCs might not be as bad as killing elephants but I must state that I am NOT endorsing in anyway whatsoever the Viking fandom part.

Berli is the tricky part.

Many scientists had been at a lost with that one.

But the key was dangling (Bauhaus!!) in front of their very failure.

Kurtzinity is worshipping Berli because the late bugger is the King'O'Draws.

When you are a Canuck lover and failed womanizer, when every turn in your life is for the worst.

When your only source of pleasure is the selling of human crafted table sets.

Wouldn't you sell your soul to that lowest of Deities whose only achievement is his uncanny ability to spit draws as one would string pearls?

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 11-13-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

Thats a pretty picture of an Eagle Mr. Pushbroom. Can I just call you "Push"?

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Can I just call you "Push"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As long as you don't go as far as calling me PLUSH.

The Croda in me won't allow PLUSH as it is often precluding the willingness to refrain the use of STUFFED.

We don't want to get too much unwelcome attention from the Bleat Inna Box.

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 11-13-2000).]

[jdmorse]

Since Mr SenilesponsorofHiramchai has been too forgetful (or else I missed it) our pax de deux in the Winter hinterlands has come to a wheezing gasping exhalation of decaying putrescence akin to swap gas.

As two old geezers manage to fall face down, carried by the inertia of our on swing so we have exhausted all possibilities, thus a ceasefire.....So in a word. DRAW...ack!

True it was 50 -45 my favor, and I am specializing in being buggered by the victory calculations. Seems that a squad who have been panicked, pinned and otherwise beat about the head and softer external body parts decided to stick their heads up, and cancelled out my squads presence, backed up by a Tiger tank and made the Flag "?". The horror indeed, since I offered the ceasefire as away to end the endless machine gunning of his panicked men. Little did I realize I was about to lose the major VL points. *sigh*.

So Lorak put us down for one sisterly kiss each

Putzter is being paid back for my earlier defeat. Our 3000 point armor cage death match proceeds apace with his appallingly regular loss of tanks on turn after turn. A Rommel this boy ain't.

Chumpchange finally reappears and promptly loses the Hellcat from hell, and a royal pain in the arse to my lowly Puma and to bogging in! He has tried a most interesting tactic. He has abandoned the defensive positions of the games to swing around to my rear (sit down Blowmaus) in some sort of envelope action. So now, he is going to have to take back the positions his "strategy" gave away. Chuppie, generous to a fault.

Meek/Hamster has reappeared and has found a platoon of Panthers are now roaming in his rear areas (Blousemouse!, not again mind you) His tanks die a lot™ is fixed positions are overwhelmed by infantry, his trademark™ artillery barrages still do falleth as gently as the dew......

Cruddite has been instructed in what VT can do to troops in the open, not pretty. My Desert Rat AC's are rushing to salvage what can only be termed as his selling his soul to pure evil (one guess) I mean a Skfzd 7?... you know the 20mm's mounted on a truck have managed to be quite the Blitzkrieg boys....I mean what are the odds of actually taking out a tank or two, let alone dodging mortars, close assaulting infantry and Piats! Well it's time to close him down. I am no longer amused by his prattling.

Lessarty and I have started a fear in the fog clone, at least I think we are playing the same game, I know he is here somewhere, here boy, come and get it.

Hirambootlicker seems to be displaying wild mood fluctuations. Not sure if his meds are working. His inner conflicts keeps leaking out. I whupped up on him orig and he begged me to do it again. So he proposes an evilness produced by rune, VOT2. We start, Hiram forgets to move and asks to start again. We start again, and after setups and ready for the first turn he claims to have cramps and a headache and can we play something else, so we start again, I send him his turn.....and am waiting, and waiting, his weekend postings, nada, yet I find him here splashing in the kiddie pool. True, he may not have gotten it, but do you think he'd ask? Nooooo. Methinks a little approach-avoidance is going on. Embrace the darkness my little one, give yourself over, manifest your inner Croda, you'll be so much happier.

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Kniggit of the Old Pool, Official 3000th poster to the original Peng thread and present at it's demise

[This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 11-13-2000).]

[Kurtz]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I am, in fact, Kurtz.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, you're not.