Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

Enough blabbering about squires and Knights.

I hearby renounce all these artificial, imposed, neo-colonialist frameworks!

I renounce the title Knight.

Down with the system!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A Splitter!, persecute the heretic!

Stone him, stone him!

"Are there any woman here?"

*Fake beards will be sold at the door*

[nijis]

After much observation of the Cesspool, I would like to wade in and get my feet wet. I figure it's good to learn the strange ways and customs here, its bizarre code of taunting and ritualized warfare, so that centuries hence, long after this little abomination is annihilated by men from overseas wielding sword, Scripture, and smallpox bacilli, countless academics will have to pore over my long-winded, self-serving memoires for some idea as to what it was like. Anyone care for a QB and/or scenario?

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

After much observation of the Cesspool, I would like to wade in and get my feet wet. Blah! Blah! Blah! Anyone care for a QB and/or scenario?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ye'll ha' tae be more obnoxious than that, Jimmy! It's nae a garrden tea party ye knoo. Na came o'er here and stan' bah the edge here...

*push*

*kaSPLOOOOSH!!!*

An' let that be a lesson tae ye.

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

[nijis]

All right, Mr. OberDyslexicFeuhrer[sic]Bastard, I don't know what sort of fluid you pushed me into, but it's a veritable cleansing bath after having been soiled by what must necessarily, given that they are clearly what you use both to feed yourself days-old haggis and palpitate your scab-encrusted arms for a fresh vein, be termed hands. Consider yourself challenged.

[This message has been edited by nijis (edited 11-19-2000).]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

A Splitter!, persecute the heretic!

Stone him, stone him!

"Are there any woman here?"

*Fake beards will be sold at the door*

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahh, classic Monty Python, a joy to behold!

What a shame Stukes got his sodden mits on it and mutated it into one of his abominations!

btw, Stupa, will you put your damned clothes back on and send me that bloody turn!

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 11-19-2000).]

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

Anyone care for a QB and/or scenario?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why yes I would care for a QB and/or scenario, only not with you....Now sod off a lot.

This is not the freindly, please may I have a game?,yes you may, shall I do the set up, oh no your'e too kind, I'd love to do the set up for you, thank you so much by the way I admire your trousers thread.

As a newcomber you are rated as lower than cat spit and will be treated as such and you will enjoy it. You may of course find a lower order member of our clan to pick on, may I suggest Mensch or Croda. Given enough time and taunting, your mettle will be measured {SIT DOWN, Blowsmouse!} and then, and only then you may get the honour of a cesspoolian 'kick to the cobblers'.

Until such time, go back to mewing and scratching at the front door........

------------------

Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

All right, Mr. OberDyslexicFeuhrer[sic]Bastard, Blah! Blah! Blah! Consider yourself challenged.

[This message has been edited by nijis (edited 11-19-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who are yoo callin' a sic bastard? Aim scarcely impressed wi' ye tauntin', but it's slightly be'er than the boiled tripe tha's been shovelled onto the last few pages o' this stankin' thraid. Ah'm gonna gi' ye' tha thrashin' ye've bin beggin' fer, if ainly cos it' will amuse mah tae hear ye squealin' tae the banjo music!

Send mae a setoop, attack or defence, 800 pts and anythan' ye lak sae long as the wee soldiers are medium quality. Ah'll no wast mah tam wi' grrreen rrrubbish.

An' while ye in the pool there, widye swam oot and brak oop that large thang floatin' o'er yonder. Ah'd suggest ye employ a haid butt fer the task

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFEuhrerBastard

[nijis]

Very well, Mr. Stuka. Frankly I have a great deal of respect for cats and rate their spit quite highly, as it is the substance which keeps them clean. Whatever I said that you took as admiration for your trousers was grossly misunderstood. Perhaps you will instruct me better in the protocols of obtaining a QB in the Cesspool, so as to serve as taunting fodder. I would run it through the search engine but I worry that if I enter "Cesspool" and "protocols" in the same field my computer will simply laugh at me. As a general principle, should I seek out the scorned, despised, only-slightly-higher-regarded-than-myself vermin to challenge, or do I wait for them to challenge me?

[von shrad]

Honda boy speakith.....

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Why yes I would care for a QB and/or scenario, only not with you....Now sod off a lot.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

StukaNukaPukaPants.... instaid o' blatherin' on here lak some crippled digger full o' piss an' wind, how aboot sending mae a bloody turrrn sae Ah kin finish smearin' ye across the muddy landscape? Firrst, Ah'll wipe oot ye tanks and...oh wait, Ah've already done tha'...well Ah'll kill all ye soldiers an'....oooh noo, Ah've already done tha' too..., well just sand mae the bloody turrn!

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerSicBastard

[Seanachai]

Well, what a marvelously unproductive period. I'm assuming Kitty has departed, and will not return. Since her posts here were something that might better have been worked out in emails, or through a mediator, we shan't cry. Elvis, I would take it as a personal favour to myself if you would let this whole thing just drop, and not post on the subject anymore.

This Todd and Lord General MB, what masterful posting of unbelievably dull, insipid, and, dare I say it, stupid ****e. Normally we are, in our own foul way, a very welcoming thread. You two can bugger off, however. You have nothing to offer the folk here, nor, I imagine, anywhere else, but you're welcome to prove me wrong by finding new threads where people jump up with joy when you enter to post. That won't be this thread, however, where you barely caused people to gather the energy to tell you that you were dull and isgnificant.

Chupacabra, I think you might well be right. The whole Knight/Squire thing was originally based on the perceived need to determine who should get acknowledged by merit of their taunting and posting skills. Lately, it's deteriorated into something other, and taunting and invective have deteriorated to people bringing in stool samples, most of which would cause a physician to proclaim the bearer quite unhealthy and in need of care.

Let us now return to the normal business of this Thread, whatever that has become, and drop the whole Kitty/Elvis thing, and please ignore some of the rather useless rodents who've wandered in here to make their rather drab little obsevations that they can, in fact, type.

At this rate, when the world is again unmade and the Peng Challenge Thread sinks into the digital mud as the Server once again rejects it, it won't be myself restarting it. Unless things improve, Berli, Peng, and I shall be waiting in the desert for when the Board is once again ready for the Peng Challenge Thread.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Let us now return to the normal business of this Thread, whatever that has become...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Weell it's nae tauntin', tha's fer cerrtain. There are some kanniggets around this place that seem tae think it's alright tae stick their wet heads in here, criticize the standard o' posts, and bugger off agin. Aye, Hakka Itchy Choo, Ah'm referrin' tae yoo. If'n ye not playin' an' tauntin' members o' the 'Pool, ye can sod off.

Ah would much prefer if instaid of finding feeve noo pages o' ****e in here tamorrow evenin', Ah found just three posts o' clever tauntin'.

Af kanniggethood is tae be earned, then Ah think the retention o' the title should also be earned.

The rest o' ye can go dunkin' fer apples in the 'Pool. Lassies excepted o' course.

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerSicBastard

[chrisl]

Fade in...

The ground is all white, as far as we can see, with some mountains rising in the distant background. In the forground there's a small two-person tent, worn, faded, but otherwise intact. Next to it is a park bench. Off to the side, a bank thermometer reads -70F, but there's no bank to be seen.

title fades in: Somewhere in Antarctica

A tall figure in a heavy parka and moon boots trudges in from the horizon, slightly to the left of center. It sits down on the park bench, flips back the hood, and we see that it's Seanachai. He reaches into the parka and pulls out a paper bag, from which the mouth of a bottle protrudes.

"Meeks. MEEKS! MEEEEEEKS!!!" he cries, taking a swig of the bottle.

the tent rustles. A tired looking Meeks emerges. "What the f*ck are you doing here"

"I've come to bring you back to the cesspool. And bring the brick--there's some cleaning up to do"

"You twit. I come half way around the world to get away from the freaks and morons that populate that place, and you, YOU, Mr. Let'sallbehappyandsingalongtoabitofsingsonguntilItearmyeyesoutwithaspoon have to come here to beg me to return? I passed a crevasse about a quarter mile back there-Why don't you go hurl yourself into it-it's a slow and unpleasant death. And stop whatever it is you're doing with that penguin"

"The cesspool is draining. The outside world is leaking in. Elvis and Kitty have gotten into a snit. She had potential--for a moment there I even thought she might be your sister. As for Elvis...the king is dead"

"Well bugger off. I came here to find Peng's muse and keep her as my own. She's that penguin there that I told you to leave alone."

An expression of shock appears on Seanachai's face, "But Peng's muse has returned. He's back on form, and just about the only thing that's working to keep the pool filled with slime, pus, bile, and vomit"

"What about those other a**holes? Mark IV? jdmorose? OldGimpyStumpoFile? Yak2? PatBoone? Gerbilboy?"

"Many have gone silent, not posting enough to keep the level up. OGSF has lapsed into scottish, and nobody except me and YK2 can figure out what he's saying. Babelfish doesn't translate it properly. I'm traveling the world trying to inspire posters to return. Next stop the middle east, for Goanna, then France and Britain"

"Well get the hell away from me. And take this brick-- it's too heavy to haul across the ice," crawling into the tent, a brick comes flying out, striking Seanachai squarely in the head.

"Ouch! How 'bout a bit of sing song?"

------------------

Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[This message has been edited by chrisl (edited 11-20-2000).]

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

Very well, Mr. Stuka. Frankly I have a great deal of respect for cats and rate their spit quite highly, as it is the substance which keeps them clean. Whatever I said that you took as admiration for your trousers was grossly misunderstood. Perhaps you will instruct me better in the protocols of obtaining a QB in the Cesspool, so as to serve as taunting fodder. I would run it through the search engine but I worry that if I enter "Cesspool" and "protocols" in the same field my computer will simply laugh at me. As a general principle, should I seek out the scorned, despised, only-slightly-higher-regarded-than-myself vermin to challenge, or do I wait for them to challenge me?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Talk about wet behind the ears........ Mr ever so nicey nijis seems about as interesting as watching paint dry,could be just the non-interesting use of your keyboard, or maybe if you remove those marbles from your ever- so- well spoken gob,and start to taunt with some venom,it will help remove that air of egotistical haughtiness that you have brought into the cesspool with you, in short, drop the nice guy image and you might even find yourself that challenge. Now sod off back under whatever slimy stone you crawled from and don't come back until you get rid of your " general principles".

From a :scorned, despised, only-slightly-higher-regarded-than-yourself vermin.

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chrisl:

"Many have gone silent, not posting enough to keep the level up. OGSF has lapsed into scottish, and nobody except me and YK2 can figure out what he's saying. Babelfish doesn't translate it properly.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

For anyone that's vaguely interested in OGSF'S posts but can't understand a f*cking word he's saying then feel free to mail me, Translations free to Kniggghts of the pool everyone else can sod off and use Babelfish

(Except my sweet little Croda of course)

------------------

"What about those other a**holes? Mark IV? jdmorose? OldGimpyStumpoFile? Yak2? PatBoone? Gerbilboy?"

[Hiram Sedai]

Monday morning arrives and kicks you dead in the arse. The sky is gray and probably will be this way until March in Philadelphia's greater Metropolitan area.

Let me share a little sing-song I learned yesterday. Its a catchy tune. It goes something like this:

E A G L E S Eagles!!!!

Did they win? Why yes, true believer, they most certainly did!!! I sat next to Elvis and watched a fabulous game at Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia. The orgasmic frenzy of watching my favorite team up close and personal left me partially voiceless. My girlfriend thought she was chatting with Barry White after the game. She insisted that I lay her by the fire.

Monday morning sits on our collective face and tells us to get busy. I notice that Seanachai has washed his hands of this pool business and the next incarnation won't come from him. No, I'm not suprised. The next generation of cesspoolers are a rowdy bunch and don't adhere to "Ye olde taunting" rules. OGSF has permanantly gone over to the Montgomery Scott side of speaking. Funny guy, somebody should knight him soon.

Reality is quite rude as Monday morning pimp slaps you. I would regale you with my PBEM games, but I can't remember them at the moment, I'm still tingling from yesterday's game (34-9!!)

Just remember this: "Nobody likes a quiter, especially smokers" - Paraphrased from the South Philly King.

------------------

Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[Croda]

Well allrighty then.

It would appear that there is some turmoil in the old 'Pool. The waters are bubbling, the silent watcher awakening. The pony will be the next to go.

Being a relative newcomer to this none-too-humble land of bile and defamation, I haven't the wonderful perspective afforded many of the others, but I can say that I too have noticed a drop-off in the anger that used to keep this place warm.

Seanachai had it right...too much new blood with no understanding of the how or the why of the 'Pool. Too much thinking that the 'Pool simply is, and that it always will be. No realization that the 'Pool is only as good as the invective and nastiness that is poured into it. I suppose that this includes me also.

The fact of the matter is that the quality of the taunts has dropped to the level of American Pop Music. We have begun to post more like Brittney Spears, than Bruce Springsteen. Too much N*Sync, and not enough Black Sabbath. Lately even mentions of Pokemon, while Buggs Bunny sits idle and watches.

Whither has fled the visionary gleam? Where has it gone, the glory and the dream?

The fact of the matter is this. Thingy jokes need to cease. Quick quibs need to cease. Like Seanachai, I enjoy the mythos of the 'Pool, but perhaps even stories about PT boats need to cease.

If the 'Pool is again to smell of death and not the fecal matter pouring forth from the mouths of the populace, then a change needs to be made. The talent is most certainly here, but the bar needs to be raised.

At the end of your posting, if you re-read and see that the taunted still have limbs remaing to be severed, then you did not taunt enough - revise and re-taunt. This advise is as pertinent to me as it is to those of you who've come after me - for all I know, my brand of humorous, good-natured slander is the source of the 'Pool's demise.

So let me start here, with my 500th post, to reaffirm the hate within and make attempts to butcher you all anew. I certainly hope that you'll follow sort.

Updates

I have the pleasure to announce that the bloody damned French have been driven from the hell that they call home. I now occupy France, and I do believe that I will give it back as it reeks of Frenchmen and worse, Frenchwomen. All the people speak funny, their music smells like the north end of a south-bound skunk.

The final tally in the dis-assembling of PawBroon:

Allied Surrender-Axis Major Victory

Axis:

49 casualties (13 KIA)

6 vehicles KOd

Men ok 141

score 79

Allies:

96 casualties (25 KIA)

56 captured

1 gun destroyed

10 vehicles KOd

1 man ok

score 21

Lorak, you loathsome excuse for a beaten dog, chalk up this victory! Croda now has one in the win column, and likes the taste of it.

Others:

Hiram: You will die in piles as soon as you see fit to return the file. I have very large gobs of heavy metal things that are about to fall out of the sky above you and either land on your crania, or patelae, or sternumae, or perhaps even your filtrumae. Regardless, there will be pieces of you all over in mere minutes.

NZer: I hate you like the bastard that ran over my dog in the street, and then backed over him again trying to see what it was he hit. I went from 7 tanks to 3 last turn. Those tanks do such a lovely job defending themselves in close quarters against infantry. I hate you, I hate the horse you rode in on, I hate the sheep you rode off on, I hate the man who shoed the horse, and that man's grandmother. I should like to boil them all in ocular fluid, and use them to fill canole!

More taunting later...this post is too long.

Glad to see Peng rejoin us. If Meeks can keep it up when he returns, perhaps the 'Pool will survive Cesspoolnarock II.

------------------

"Nuts!"

[PeterNZer]

In all these posts, only one mention of a game, and it was merely a challenge. So here's my exhaustive list you waste-of-spacers. Go home and spam your mother with your boring accounts of your dreary lives. If you're not playing games, shaddaup!

So anyway.

Geieir

Send me a file monkeyboy. You are going to slowly die. You complain about the slowness, but latter on you will wish i had killed you in one swift stroke rather than slowly twisting the knife..

Mark IV

See above, with added note: Show yourself man! Stand up and fight! No, shelling my woods isn't standing up and fighting. Thanks.

Chupacabra

Damn it, i send the file and no reply. Your hamsters hidding in their holes to scared to face my paras?! Come on, I still have piat rounds for you!

Gerbiltoy

Booom boooom booom

boom boom boom

BOOM BOOM, BOOM BOOM

boom boom boom!

Marlow

Boring. Hmm. It will get interesting soon.

herr oberst

Don't you dare last-turn rush my flag you bastard! Don't even think of it!!

JD Morse

Bah! I have lost! My armored hordes charged and were dashed as so many broken needles on the beach. Poor buggers. Lorak Rack up a kill for JD and death to me.. Nevermind, you are my sponsor, I had to let you win one

Meeks

Bastard flees the planet just as I am poised to crush him. I'v never been more poised in my life, It's like an entire continent balanced ready to topple into the sea.. I'm like Sweden on it's edge, the pointy edge at the bottom, I'm Sweden stood on end ready to fall SPLAT onto Europe! About the only good thing you could do with the damn country mind.

Croda

Just as he was poised to topple me, (kinda like sweden) and I have a Panther and a shopping trolly left to battle his armored hordes my brave hamstertruppen storm his armored column and slaughter all before them. I feel victory in the palm of my hand like overripe peaches. And I will imagine it is Croda's testicles as I squeeze them into a paste and perhaps make jam of them.

Chrisl

Hehe, mmm i feel his death haunting the battlefield. His bold charge up the middle of map owes more to the charge of the Light Brigade than it does to some kind of military boldness.. O well, my boys like to kill.

I think that it. Well there's one more, but it's a dull game.

PeterNZ

(correction, Croda posted just before me so wow, more games posted)

[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 11-20-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

I think that it. Well there's one more, but it's a dull game.

PeterNZ

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, Pete. There is one more game. You can say it. Hee ram Hee ram Hee ram. I didn't think our game was that dull. You should see the one I'm playing vs Seanachai. Hoo doggy!!

------------------

Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[PeterNZer]

Hear I am Kill me

Well, his request is being completed by the customer service section of the Heer as we speak. Please, place more tanks in LOS with my 75 bunker and it will make things much quicker.

O, there's ONE more game, but i forget.

PeterNZ

[nijis]

Well, Mr. YK2, I was asking about the general principles of the Pool. The only general principle I have is the ever-present need to toady to my betters and remind my lessers of their degraded state. I assume your otherwise cryptic tag is a reference to the year 1002, a year substantially less interesting than paint drying to anyone outside the field of venereal epidemiology, in which the mudstained masses of northern Europe, released from their millennial angst, proceeded to engage in all sorts of depravity under the assumption that their Maker was not due for at least another 1000, and that by taking said monicker you seek the same, foolish sense of immunity from Reckoning. I would be happy to demonstrate the folly of your ways, in a strictly temporal sense, if you were to send me a set-up. Or you may choose postponement.

[Hiram Sedai]

"Mr. YK2"

"Dude looks like a lady" - Aerosmith

------------------

Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

A sleek commentary on his own ignorance.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, Anubis, it seems you've stumbled into the doghouse, but haven't quite figured out how to attach the milkbone to your throat. First-off, you're a moron. Secondly, YK2 is a woman, and your better. Thirdly, no better yet, back to first-off. You're a ninny.

You've sauntered in here in the typical style of late, as the man standing against the storm, challenging the mighty forces of nature to give him their best shot. Well, you seem to have entered the storm as the eye passed above you. A silent lurker like you (50 posts in 1 year? Sheesh!) is best served to go challenge LordFluffers for a game of tiddlywinks.

Let me give you an example of the way that you request a game in this thread:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> What Anubis should have said to Stuka:

You filthy, grub-eating, joey-shagging, outback-smelling descendant of a half-witted British rapist, Aussie-bastard! I'll cut your tongue out and use it to moisten my envelopes! I won't only give you a game, I'll put a hook up your nose, and use you as a pinata, and then all your friends and family can smash you to bits, and then collect the bits and feed them to the koalas! Now send me a freeeeking setup or I'll taunt you a second time!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now, chances are he'd notice that post. I've reviewed your posts, and the best line you've come up with was "Or you may choose postponement." Why is that a good line? Only because it sounds vaguely like topplement. You, sir, are an unimaginative, pseudo-intellectual dullard who most likely models his exciting personality after the enchanting sands of the Sahara.

Come back when you can sound off like you've got a pair, and then maybe someone will condescend to give you a game.

------------------

"Nuts!"

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 11-20-2000).]

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

Well, Mr. YK2,

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well thankee for the compliment ninjis, I have often wished to be the proud owner of some "block and tackle" if only to find out what all the fuss of having 6inches of so called Dick protruding from between ones legs is all about, but alas unless I decide on more drastic measures then I will have to remain a mere female, Still, it does have its positive side,(being female) mainly,you have me at my weakest point,PMT passed just over a week ago, so I am quite placid at the moment,so much so that I could actually be persuaded to accept your offer, even though the thought of a PBEM with someone who has quite obviously swallowed a bloody dictionary totally repels me. Anyway tis early days yet and the taunting is only just beginning, so, show me what your made of,preferably in words that my simple mind can understand without having to refer to a dictionary,make me sit up (sit down Bauhaus) and actually feel like I have been taunted, I know you can do it, cos I just read your profile and you're a bloody Journalist, so called scum- of-the- earth gutter press I bet,BTW latest news is "Elvis Lives" apparently he has saught refuge amongst the scum of the earth amidst the cesspool, he was heard to mutter "Home sweet Home" wonder if they need a poolboy.............. Stop press.

------------------

"What about those other a**holes? Mark IV? jdmorose? OldGimpyStumpoFile? Yak2? PatBoone? Gerbilboy?"

[Hiram Sedai]

The question still remains...

is it "banannas are my business or is my business??

------------------

Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous