Chupacabra Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Suuuure. Have fun trying to figure out where my MLR is! ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Everybody is doing the News from the Front thingy so here is mine. IamZeLaw: Lost that one with a draw-like final score. Not much of a beating and I had the intense joy of riding a Wasp all around the map for at least 10 turns chasing his Hetzer and finally torching him for good. Historians are still debating whether the resulting lost was because of the new Foliage Mod or not. The "Foliagers" amongst whom JD is, are basing their theory on the fact that the previous torching of a PzIV/70 sporting no foliage whatsoever was to now avail... Interviewed about it, the Brit commander, FlawedGoon, answered: "**** them all, torching 2 tanks with a single bloody Wasp IS an achievement in itself". Arsonistingen: Berli did his usual worst with a map from outer sanity. That battle was supposed to end a long series of draws and settle for good who is the best whatnots. His flaming of most of the map was joyful and very illustrative of what a total lack of tactical sense could be... As usual, he lost all of his AFVs faster than you could get laid in France and the game ended in a DRAW . GerbilPloy: After much taunting about how easily his GerbilsJaegers would squash my puny and stinking Frogs, Andreas had finally to face the fact that a whooping 81 to 19 against him was very much inconclusive to that effect. Scrota: That lucky bastard is kicking my butt. Seeing as over 80% of his OOB had been circumnavigating the map to end behind me, I was expecting him to do something about my ass. I’m rather serene about the fact that this long time sodomite chose to kick it instead of something rather personal and unpleasant. I have to thank him since he gave me a rather laughable moment when his squads hugging the edge of the map where gunned down by a .50 and jumped off map to escape its fire... Stensch: Big battle raging with that one. I dunno if I could survive the tactical onslaught of 400Pts worth of Jeeps MG and grunts screaming down a small map. What’s cool with that microscopic challenge is that I know that I have already busted 25% of his troops in under 60 seconds... WoolProcessor: I’m a bit worried about HIM, not with our game but the actual sheep shagger sending the turns. First mail said “Ah”, the second said “Ahah” (a Gawdawful 100% increase), the third said “Bang bang”. Is anyone having a meaningful conversation with Peter? Now he is happily sending “Die krauts” every single turn... Peter, please, if you can’t have any articulate thoughts, do me a favour and go cut and paste someone else’s post and send it to me with your next turn. Now unto our game. You have been laying smoke on the map since the beginning of our game while being slaughtered nonetheless. Tell me SheepDip, what do you reckon? Will I die of boredom before dying of lung cancer? BoreArty: I love the guy. He is doing things I thought my dad was the only one doing. You are refreshing and I enjoy seeing your big hulks (Naah Bauhaus, I am actually referring to his AFVs) go Blair Witching in the wood. The results are very convincing as seen through the sights of my Greyhound... Senility: I’m still debating whether I prefer his posts or his playing style. Everybody in the Pool knows of his trademark, the early loosing of valuable assets... The Canuck Fondler cooked a QB looking like the Vosges with woods everywhere and huge hills and dark valleys. And the poor sod actually bought TDs to populate such a desolate map. You are not doing much but you are doing it with style my Honorary French… Meeks: Nobody’s willing to help us fight ourselves in the Battle of Insanity. Me think we’ll have to duck it out around a beer and be rude to the waitress instead. ------------------ "PawBroon: Clinically Insane, also Clinically French, which is very bad as well." Croda [This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 10-31-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra: Machu Piccu Wow, what a nice, flat, treeless map you've selected. Funny that you're playing the Germans. Expect much complaining to come. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Caprifellator: I am as pure as the driven snow and as innocent as a new-born babe. I didn't make the scenario. I just selected it from the current crop at Boots 'n Tracks. And I didn't look at it before choosing sides either. I just thought it would be fun to play the Axis on the attack. So suck it up and be a man, or at least a goat. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Chupacabra the Wise, God-King of Babylon: I am a dog-faced man. Woof woof! In addition to my physical deformities, I am a huge cheating liar. I didn't make the scenario. I just selected it from the current crop at Boots 'n Tracks, after seeing the "WARNING! EXTREMELY GAMEY!" tag next to the file. And I only looked at it three or four times before I realized that it might be fun to play the Axis on the attack on this godforsaken wasteland of a map. I apologize for your time, My Lord, may I go now please? Thank you, and I apologize again. I know I'm bad. I know I'm bad. I know I'm bad. Woof woof! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The first step is admitting it to yourself. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Hey now, PushBroom, I offered a page or two back to populate your map with the Meek one. Or are you ignoring me because you're afraid of what I've already done to you? I'll gladly set up forces equally as insane as their commanders. You guys think the Squire Jousts are amusing? I can make them look like the Roman Legions compared to what you two will be battling with. As to my men running off of the map, don't they re-enter on the other side? That's the way my old Atari games used to be. Oh well, you've got to learn sometime. ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Shandorf. Ah, Shandorf. Shandorf, and indeed, Shandorf. You are so...new. So untutored. So lacking in the finer sensibilities. But, because I have a generous nature, and because, however vulgar and useless you might be, you can claim to be a Landsmann, I will point out to you that in situations like these, all that is necessary is to parenthize 'Sit Down, Bauhaus!', and everyone (except my scrappy and polite Squire, Hiram), knows that you are asking people not to play on the concept of 'thingies'. We have certain tedious, time-honoured conventions here. Try getting a grasp on some of them. Did you get enough cuddling this weekend, or was that one of the other tidal wave of recent-arrival rodents (so sorry, but sometimes I'm bewildered by the fact that you all sound alike) that had his girlfriend arriving (rather than coming)? Hey, this world-weary abuse of new arrivals thing is rather a lark! Hmmm, now to try and put you in perspective: chrisl, wants to die in the snow; Shandorf, desires the illusion of conquering cities by scurrying in through the map edge flanks like a pack of bedbugs clambering from the wall cracks. Ewww, I'm playing two squires. No, it's worse, I believe I'm playing two squire wannabes. I need to wash...back again, has anyone actually spoken for these two hunchbacked, squint-eyed chimpanzees who've brachiated in here crying 'Sanctuary!'? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So noted... At least I am allowed to venture now and then into the world of carnal pleasure. I would say that your CM plays reflects a man with severe sexual repression, thus I pity you and your men. When the time comes to line up your men remind of this conversation again. I may be scurrying up both flanks but so far you have very ineffectual in stopping me for doing so. Did you think I would come up the center. Foolish, foolish Seanachai. Now you will pay for your lack of vision. (I love that line!) BTW where was my turn last night, you nigget?! Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: But I can't be sitting anymore that what I already am.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah, you work in editorial, and cannot construct a coherent sentence. THAN!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Now.. MY Cesspool battle updates: Rhoda: It looks as if I am playing the AI now. Apparently it will decide when all is hopeless for you. If that truly was the case it should have surrendered after your deployment. Chumba-wumbah: May my men move faster then O.J. catching a plane. Burger&fries: If my comments above do not suffice I would then like to add that I will level every house in that city. So make like the Jefferson's on welfare and "move 'em on out!" Leaks-Alot: How did you like my little mortar barrage? Eh? And I thought mortars would be useless in 180 meters of visibility. You are using the same defenssive tactic on me again. Do you think I will fall for it again? You are about as inspiring in your defense as a fat-man selling diet pills. As always I leave this space for new challenges from the pool. If your cahonas drag when you walk you just might have the luggage match me in a game. Send them my way. Jeff [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 10-31-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 31, 2000 Author Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus: Do you people not realize that when I'm reading all of these wonderfully sick posts that I am sitting down. Why not tell me to stand up or roll over? But I can't be sitting anymore that what I already am.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> (Shudder) Bauhaus, my lad, I will never ask you to roll over. However, to keep you happy: Bauhaus, Stand Up! Now, Bauhaus, Sit Down. ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 31, 2000 Author Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: We, the lowest of the low, yes, we the Peasants of the Pool, but that we desire to remain Peasants, the lowest of the low, [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 10-31-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, fine, now the Proletariat have shown up. Class warfare in 20 minutes, everyone! Last call for class warfare! ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Damn! They are committing atrocities against our hamstertroopen! http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_98614.html Jeff [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 10-31-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Damn! They are committing atrocities against our hamstertroopen! http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_98614.html Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And you people laughed at my Aardvark coat! Damn you all, I say! ------------------ "Nuts!" [This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-31-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh, fine, now the Proletariat have shown up. Class warfare in 20 minutes, everyone! Last call for class warfare!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well then, let's do it right. Kill them all... we can always get more peasants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Well, well, what a surprise, another week has passed and still no sign of the PBEMS I was promised. What happened you so high & mighty knnnigits. You stepped into my properly issued challenge (I used a frozen herring, as required in the Canadian chapter rules)and decided to set the map and units, so where is it??? Or are you just screwing with a lowly squire. Do you forget who my sponsor is? or do you really want Sir Meeks, holder of the most lethal pen award three years running, to actually involve himself in his squires affairs. I warn you, don't draw his ire (or anything else, it's quite icky), a pissed off Meeks is a truly frightening sight. Maybe Hiram, he of the prissy poetry and fawning manner, would be interested in a game? He shows definite signs of passive-masochistic leanings (S&M for H&S??). What say you, you can even pick the map & units. I trust you to not abuse this offer overmuchly (and I don't really care if ou do). What the heck, I'm in a generous mood, I will extend this offer to any other interested squire or peasant (no Knnnigggiitts just yet, I am saving their humiliation for later). ------------------ "With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 31, 2000 Author Share Posted October 31, 2000 Oh, fine, now the Proletariat have shown up. Class warfare in 20 minutes, everyone! Last call for class warfare! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Well then, let's do it right. Kill them all... we can always get more peasants<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sound strategic thinking, Berli. We can get some of the Squire's to mount the heads on the wall. Also, I owe about 12 people turns. I have them all, but last night every time I tried to upload mail/files, the uploads kept aborting. I had a jolly time posting away and confessing horrible things to Peng while waiting to see if AOL would straighten out whatever was happening, but after some time I just ended up going to bed. By the way, it turns out that what AOL means by 'unlimited access' is unlimited access to their main screen. From there, actual use becomes a much more hit and miss proposition. I imagine tonight I will have access to sending mail, but will probably be unable to get to the Web. Turns for everyone tonight. ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra: Behold I stand revealed before you as one who is without manhood. Bereft am I of a huge pair, let alone any that are brazen. I am a eunuch, shorn smooth. My lunchbox is empty. Even were I glad to see you, you would never ask whether I have a cucumber down my trousers. Please put the seat down in your bathroom should I be coming to visit. And I like those lovely little scented soaps to wash my delicate hands. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm, I thought as much. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 Jefe, need I remind you of that old saying oft attributed to Abraham Lincoln (A better calvary commander than Custer, just like 99% of the population, regardless of what that midgit Sheridan thought): The hen is the smartest of birds, for she only cackles after laying the egg. So far I have lost a StuG and, probably, a platoon. What, pray tell, are your casualties? How will your pathetic forces hold that single VL that you have dashed for? How will that mob of soldiers caught out in the open manage to survive? And Roborat, just let me know which of these simpletons has shown such cowardice and I will gladly tear them a new metaphorical rectum. I must change my request, will any Pool resident who does not have reason to stick me with crappy, sappy troops please step forward so that my battle with Pawbroon may commence? ------------------ I've got far more annoying things than that up my sleeve. -Meeks You must wear awfully loose shirts to fit an oompah band up your sleeve. -Chrisl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: I must change my request, will any Pool resident who does not have reason to stick me with crappy, sappy troops please step forward so that my battle with Pawbroon may commence? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Awwww, poor baby. You afraid that I'll give you an army of Gungans? Ghan-Buri-Ghan and his legions of Pukel-men? Your 27 Conscript Jeeps (how can you conscript a jeep, anyway?) and Crack Sharpshooters against PawBroon's Army of Trucks and Assault Boats would prove a festival of fun! ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Yap yap yap! Ghan-Buri-Ghan and his legions of Pukel-men? Grrrrr! Yap, yap! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The Wild Men are free, they are not children. My Wild Men would bury those stupid, Jamaican Gungans. ------------------ I've got far more annoying things than that up my sleeve. -Meeks You must wear awfully loose shirts to fit an oompah band up your sleeve. -Chrisl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Oh, fine, now the Proletariat have shown up. Class warfare in 20 minutes, everyone! Last call for class warfare! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not to worry, my good chap! I hear the Russkies are looking for a few (million) proles for the forthcoming CM2:The Stalinists strike back. These good men will be leading the charge in numerous Human wave attacks, sans weapons, and will have the honour to die gloriously, if somewhat horribly, for the motherland! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 31, 2000 Share Posted October 31, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: What, pray tell, are your casualties? How will your pathetic forces hold that single VL that you have dashed for? How will that mob of soldiers caught out in the open manage to survive? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> OKay.. I'll play doctor with you Mr. Leaks-a-lot. Your infamous arty barage has only crippled 1 platoon and a few support units. Other than that you know about the Firefly and the casualties I have taken attacking that platoon. That's it buddy boy. Hell, I haven't even brought in the reserves. I have PLENTY of men to roll over your pathetic little ambushes. In fact I just found another platoon of yours and within a few turns I should have them swarmed, destroyed or routed. That first platoon of yours is a gonner so you might as well write them off. Are those beads of sweat on your forehead you odious ignoramous, or are you out of meta-mucile? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted November 1, 2000 Author Share Posted November 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: I must change my request, will any Pool resident who does not have reason to stick me with crappy, sappy troops please step forward so that my battle with Pawbroon may commence? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Send it to me, Meeks, I'll be your Huckleberry. After the nightmare we were subjected to, I'll do the right thing. Just send detailed instructions as to what you want, as I don't pay close attention to things going on around me, only what's directly in front of me. ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Choco Taco: Woof woof! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, we've established this much, but haven't you anything else to say? ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 This is the BBC, broadcasting from London. Before the news, first some personal messages. Madame Rousseau is under the misguided impression that the cows are looking unusually agitated. I repeat, Madame Rousseau is under the misguided impression that the cows are looking unusually agitated. Pierre has been extremely confused since he was knocked off his bicycle by a strong Easterly wind. I repeat, Pierre has been extremely confused since he was knocked off his bicycle by a strong Easterly wind. Monique will not resolve to walk more swiftly until the bishop has acquainted himself with the village. I repeat, Monique will not resolve to walk more swiftly until the bishop has acquainted himself with the village. Fabien is of the opinion that the invasion will take place tomorrow morning at 4AM and... whoops, I wasn't supposed to say that... will any Germans or Nazi collaborators listening please disregard the last message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted November 1, 2000 Share Posted November 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: I remind you of that old saying oft attributed to Abraham Lincoln (A better calvary commander than Custer, just like 99% of the population, regardless of what that midgit Sheridan thought)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Good lord what a dolt. Please tell us you can't have children (of course a bar of Irish Spring can't conceive, so we're probably safe). Your comprehension of military history needs to begin much further back than ACW, I fear. Try filling a jar with red ants and black ants, and observe the results. Wear the victors in your hair. Repeat. After a few decades of this we can work up to troglodytes vs. mammoths, and in a few centuries you may begin to comprehend a few fundamentals of armed conflict. Only one greater Genius graces this board... ------------------ Let me start of saying that Combat Mission is a WARGAME. -Maximus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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