Hiram Sedai Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Why does everyone tell Mr. Bauhaus to sit down? ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Why does everyone tell Mr. Bauhaus to sit down? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That is not an easy question to answer. You see, it necessitates delving deep into the inner mind of the subject to truly give the answer, but here is the bottom line. We in the business of judging others and blatantly overexagerating their most trfling flaws, also take the time to name any and all afflictions that could ever possibly be remotely true. I have ravaged the files of the Pool psycho-analyst (me) and whittled those down to what are absolute truths, and hereby publish them for the world: Bauhaus: A sexual deviant who rarely posts due to spending far too much time over at Thumbzilla. Seanachai: Very Narcissistic. Very impressed with himself. Also suffers from OCD and edits his posts repeatedly to perfect them. Peng: Clinical Depression. Peng wants to rid the world of smilies because they symbolize the happiness that eludes him. YK2: Gender uncertainty. She is a woman in a man's pool...a man pretending to be a woman in a man's pool...a woman who pretended to be Carmen Miranda in a man's pool...a woman who...you get the picture. PawBroon: Clinically Insane. As noted before, his random use of boldfaced type indicates an uneven temperment that is likely to explode at random times. He is also clinically French, which is very bad as well. Meeks: A short, balding, skinny man in his late 40's who has suffered from a classic Napoleon complex since he was 9 years old. He takes his rage out verbally, since he is in no shape to take it out physically. GermanBoy: The strong silent type. He has kept himself aloof from mainstream society since the incident with his uncle out behind the woodshed when he was 12. Lorak: Low Self-Esteem. He loathes himself. Mommy blamed him for everything and now he has resigned himself to being shat upon whereever he goes. jdmorse: My sponsor, so I won't say anything negative about him, though rumor has it that he's a big bully that likes to pick on people who cannot defend themselves (aka a lawyer). chrisl: Notice the small letters in the name...this one suffers from small phallus disorder...incurable. Herr Oberst: A very sad case. Used to collect mom's used tampons and feed them to squirrels in the back yard. Stay away from this guy. jshandorf: Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it. He spontaneously posts to this board numerous times per day in a hope that he will make himself more important and garner fame and fortune. Hiram Sedai: It's amazing what a lack of sex can do to a man. He's become delusional, believing that he's winning many of his PBEMs. Elvis: Alcoholic. Feels that taking the name of a rock icon will enhance his appeal to people. PeterNZer: Has a thing for sheep. They're so soft, and warm, and cuddly, and tight... Berlichtingen: He's really evil! Damn, I hear someone coming. I need to put these files away and get back to work. Hopefully this will shed some light on why it is that our resident CessPooligans behave as they do and are treated as they are. If you were left out, be thankful...you're analysis isn't in yet. ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TargetDrone Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 MrPeng wrote ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>TD, on the other hand, shows up once a month (probably less than that), spouts some gibberish he wishes to pass off as taunting, punctuates it with a few icky smiley things and departs a lot.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yeah, Yeah... When you challenged me, I just turned towards my outlook express, and waited for your file to arrive, as I took the words from the mighty(?) and dreaded(?) Peng serious... Now, these days, with my fingers grown arthritic, my beard grown to the ground and spider webs all over my once clean (well.. always a matter of definition) working place, an idea emerged to my mind... Maybe, MrPeng was just venting hot air.... Now... I finally started moving again..(and belive me, that can be quite hard after you hold still for a month or two) and had a look at the battlefront forum... mayhap the AoP have been crushed, hit by a meteor, or maybe, their little hideout on their local garbage dump has finally been eradicated by introducing the new local incinerating plant. But what had I to discover... The thread has gone... After I finally was able to locate its remnants and reading through (now, that I call hard work) I discovered that the pestilence known as Peng still lurks somewhere around and that he hasn't been cleansed from this planets surface (maybe I should blame it on the trash collection) but instead he still throws up some words that he calls taunting... C'mon, you had plenty of time (I guess from page 12 on) to train... and still the above answer is the best you can do? And I have feared of being Penged once...HA! My grandma's mumbling without her dentures are more insulting then the weird piece of crap you call a post. Consider myself being more present on this board again, I won't make the mistake of waiting for a file from you again... (although, should it really arrive, it would be a pleasure to blast your bunch of suckers to oblivion (something someone should have done long ago )) You don't have to fear though, I won't be too hard with your men(?).... I will unload all my hatred and aggression on you, all the devastating thoughts my poor smileys had to suffer when you and others treated them bad still... although you seem to have grown somewhat attuned to them... in the old days you would have literally exploded if someone dared to even show one of them... now, I wouldn't be surprised even if you too would use them.. (who knows, mayhap time has turned the furious, but unsuccessful Peng into an old, burned out hulk, one that merely mutters some tauntings but got no clear sentence out of his toothless, malicious pit he once called a mouth. If this is the Case you should really think about your funeral (oh.... and I would even organize one for for you )... living on would be too much of an embarrassment I guess ) ------------------ TargetDrone Commander of the Smiley Liberation Force who will open an account to collect money for Pengs funeral on a sidenote... BTS does obviously support the AoP ... when trying to submit that post in the first run it was rejected due to too much images... that means i had to take some of my beloved smileys out... [This message has been edited by TargetDrone (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 boy I'm glad I got left out of that list Smoda... you forgot yourself more in detail Croda: Although his mom said if he does not cut that out he will go blind and hair will grow on his palms.. apparently rumor has it he goes through at least four disposible razor blades a week just shaving his palms.. as for the blindness, well as long as he knows were the command-U button combo is its fine by me. ----------- Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Looking up Mensch now... Ah yes, here it is. Mensch: The fumbler. The type who walks around with his head down so that he can "accidentally" walk into women and brush their softer parts. He suffers from a facial tic that causes his nostrils to flare for a second (forcing his entire face into a porcine visage) and then relax. These usually come in spasms of 15-20 tics at a time, 3 - 5 times a day. Also see the section: Whipped, when the wife gets everything she wants. Wow, was that enlightening! Thanks for pointing yourself out, mensch. Boy, these files are great! ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 By the way, if anyone gets a chance, go into Bullethead's profile and take a look at his web page. It was very interesting (to say the least). ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuerte Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Only on page 39? Wait until I'm boozed next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 I truly hope that little mongrel Croda wins his Knight's Challenge, as he has all the makings of a good knight. I could do without the Napolean comment but it seems more that he's mastering the form before actually working within it to produce art, something like Picasso's blue period. As to this TD lad, I say don't give him a game until he stops using those moronic smilies. What does he think, we're impressed by his vomiting blue round thing? Does that ever work? Does anyone, outside of that one geek back in '89, ever say, "Dude, cool smilie, you're all right by me!" The answer, of course, is not just "No" but rather a "No, you stupid, stupid man, the only way you could've thought the answer wasn't no was if you had snorted Drano." Oh and Pawbroon, I'm afraid I've got seniority on you, so rather than being Chip or Dale, you mad French monkey-man, I choose to stay Meeks. I will, however, be happy to team with your little bim to bite, scratch and belittle any of the numerous ugly, stupid ape-men who like to post on here occasionally. Hmm, look at that, there's one now. Fuerte, you ignorant sot, you will probably become a regular and post funny things consisting of more than one line but right now you are nothing more than a little man with cortex envy. I am sorry that we're all so much smarter and wittier than you ('Cept for TD but hey, what can you do), if you wait long enough, one by one we'll go senile and then you can post your little one-liners and we'll all say, "He he, that's funny Fuerte, pass my teeth boy and rub my hemmeroids again." Finally, I must say all the recognition, titles, praise and offers of sexual favors are appreciated. It's good to be welcomed home so properly. ------------------ Have you ever tried to buy an atomic bomb? They're expensive as hell, even without wheels! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 I realize that I'll receive a tongue-lashing for this post (please be seated, Mr. Bauhaus) but I need to aplogize for my glaring ineptitude in my PBEM's. I'm being soundly spanked (setzen sie sich Herr Bauhaus) by my opponents and I'm thinking that this might be boring for many of you. So, I shall endevour to lose faster so you might be able to pad your scores on Loraks hall of Kannigitery. I dare say that the only thing more boring than my game play would be (yes, you guessed it) -->my posts. You should set an alarm before reading one of these things. ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Meeks - your *snicker* force selection is winging its electronic way to your mailbox. Now you'll get to see how many Hotchkisses and conscript Volkssturm batallions 5000 pts buys. Scrota - Do I have to start whiiiiiining for you to send me files? It would be a shame if I had to start whiiiiiiining, but if you don't send me any files I'm just going to whiiiiiine and whiiiiiine and whiiiiiiiine. And then I'll cut out your anal sphincter and feed it to you. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Hiram!!! What in the firey pits of Lucifer's dominion do you think you're doing???!!! Are you apologizing????!?!?!?!?!??*(%U$Y*Y(%*&&RH(? That better not have been what it looked like. Start editing that message, son. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra: [b And then I'll cut out your anal sphincter and feed it to you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ewwww...is that more painful than losing your aural sphincter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Evil Mythical South American Goat Boy: ...whiiiiine...And then I'll cut out your anal sphincter and feed it to you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well as long as you take my anal sphincter and not my dorsal or ventral sphincters, and certainly not my renal sphincter, I couldn't manage without that one. My verbal sphincter you could take, as well as my ocular and femoral, and my anal of course. Do not whine, sweetie. You can have some more candy after you clean your room, my little honey bear. I'll send you your freaking file! Just stop being a pansy! I've been quite busy lately and have had a few other things to do. God willing and the hogs don't get the fever, I'll be back online, distributing mayhem to all of you this evening. Except for you Chupachops. You're getting a double dose of mayhem, straight up, with a vinegar and water douche chaser. And the same goes for the rest of you begging and whining and complaining for your little files...Shut Up! I'll rip out your insteps and shove them where your nipples were before they got stuffed in your ears. Tonight, topplements for everyone!!! And Hiram, god almighty! Erase that travesty of a post! Perhaps YK2 has a support group that you can join. You can watch soap operas and cry over your coupons all day long. What kind of an aspiring Knigget are you? I submit before the tribunal that Hiram should forfeit his Squirely joust based upon that post which had about as much venom as a sleeping beagle. I shall be extra killingy tonight when I play our game. ------------------ "Nuts!" [This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Ahhh.. Croda, You forgot a profile for yourself, but it is understandable not to self analize being unethical and all. So I will do it for you. Croda - If not the worse case of a manic depressive I have ever seen. Most people confuse his behavior with a Bi-polar disorder but once one peels away the layers of deception the violent cauldron of emotions and "voices" are revealed. Croda cannot control his emotion sways. One minute a fun loving smiley poster who preens himself obsessively as he attempts the woo the "women" her in the cesspool only to get squarely kicked in the jewels as they rebuff his advances, understandably so. The next moment a vitriolic pile of ooze and bile that spats forth at any passer-byer. Whoa to he that prods this shambling mound of self-loathing and hatred with a stick or any other barb that strikes home. While these outburst can seem lucid they are merely delusion states of megalomania and self-reaffirmation. Jeff [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Meeksed: Oh and Pawbroon, I'm afraid I've got seniority on you, so rather than being Chip or Dale, you mad French monkey-man, I choose to stay Meeks. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Seniority? Do you mean that having registered my current incarnation before yours and posting a tad more is not what seniority actually is? Darn! Well, I won't go into a pissing contest with you since there is to be a mandatory peed upon sacrificial goat to do that... Let's settle that fine historical point of detail in Peng's kitchen when our lazy bastard friend finally manage to cook the required setup. ------------------ "PawBroon: Clinically Insane, also Clinically French, which is very bad as well." Croda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Croda You mewling pustulent er postulant....Cut the caterwauling and prepare to meet thy doom. As previously posted, your time of testing arrives. Fawning sycophant that you are and genetic predisposition to bilious spewing, while appreciated, can only go so far. Our Oedipal dance can only result on either you entering the tempering fires of hell and emerging your mettle proved, or banal bleating (sit down Peter....) as you are once again consigned to oblivion where only Hiram's taunts signal your final defeat. I call for your scourging so that your betters, my fellow kniggits, shall know you by the hideous disfigurement you shall receive at my hands. As your liege and lord you shall not partake of topplement rather I shall preside over the crushing of your puny id and ego. This test, this rite of passage you may not forswear. The time is at hand, the die is cast. The only question is do have the gumption and ability to face oblivion and spit in the eye of death? I await in my tent your craven response, to see if I chose you as squire correctly, or as dung beneath my feet. After to all what are ye to Hecuba, or Hecuba to you. Your torn and rent bidy shall I around the walls of Illiam drag till Priam's tears shall surpass the flood of pain in which you shall abide. ------------------ Official 3000th poster to the original Peng thread and present at it's demise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 25, 2000 Author Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Formerly Babra: I choose the 28th page of a thread I haven't read a word of to announce that, yes, I am back, ready to fling bile and vitriol and vitriolic bile to whomever and sundry. I missed you guys (sniff). So what's the topic? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey, everyone, Babra's back! He was gone for bloody ever. And actually, he's come back in @140th page (this thread is merely a continuation of the Thread that was, is, and will ever be. Babra, we're insulting and abusing each other, as usual. While you were gone, we instituted a Squire system, whereby new posters must prove themselves by allowing everyone to taunt and torment them, as well as fighting each other for our amusement. After they become full Knights, everyone is allowed to taunt and torment them, and as Knights they fight each other for our amusement. It's more a matter of degree, than kind. Welcome back! ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TargetDrone Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Elijah Meeks(Meeks.. mee ks.. aahh mekiss.. now...ok.. just do it ) wrote ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Does anyone, outside of that one geek back in '89, ever say,<snip><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So, you experimented with smileys even on your VC10? Interesting... let me guess, you lately upgraded after you found out that the CM Cd won't fit into the datasette or into the cadridge port? or does a conversion exist somewhere out there? maybe with simplified interface, so that even you can get a mental hold on how to operate the game? something like generic order menu for all your units? only consisting of "wet my panties", "run like hell" and "lick the enemies boots in hope of a quick death"? maybe an added "spasm and babble uncontrollable like your commander" order too? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I say don't give him a game until he stops using those moronic smilies.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> simple plain answer.... The mating rites of amoeba interests me more than what you say... But if you feel so oh-I-am-so-great you can still send me a file... or save us both the time and simply put a bullet (i leave the caliber decision up to you) through your head... that way, your pain maybe wouldn't be that great either (well... at least if you are at least semi intelligent when choosing the ammo)than when I have to tear up your entrails and feed them back to you... hmm.. wonder how often we could do that? I guess that would depend on how good you chew... but then... who says I leave your teeth intact in the first way.... Oh my... I guess you should not take the gun-yourself option and instead come to me ... we could have soooo much fun.... and I'm always up for new experiments... ------------------ TargetDrone Commander of the Smiley Liberation Force who will open an account to collecting money for Pengs furneral and makes plans on various ways to torture MeeKiss [as always edited for errors previously made] [This message has been edited by TargetDrone (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Is this the jdmorse that launched a thousand ships? Or toppled the towers of Illium? If indeed you feel that the time has come to see who gets eternal boinking rights on mom, then indeed we shall do battle, and by battle bring about the basest part of our beings. Our animalistic instincts shall bite and scratch and claw with the lone goal being to survive. The epic struggle of teacher versus student, master and learner, David and Crodaliath. A clash that shall engulf the vale from Minas Ithil to Minas Morgul. Prepare the setup. Lay on Morse! ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Croda, red in tooth and claw.....that's me boy! ------------------ Official 3000th poster to the original Peng thread and present at it's demise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>On that other note about roadkill ...Shaw? Shaw?! Good, Christ, has anyone else seen Shaw?!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Still here squire, just got temporarily misplaced in one of the corners whilst trying to "push a lead" (Caving/Spelunking term, not to worry) that opened. Should have known better, forgot the old caving maxim "if it blows, it goes" ... not THAT kind of blows BlouseHouse, sit down. In any case I'm having some "issues" that prevent me from getting to my turns or posting here as frequently as I might like, so ... carry on ... and if you see a pair of boots sticking out of a hole in the wall, pull me out please, I tend to push tight squeezes (see above) more than I should and have been known to get stuck ... there's a good chap. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrAlimantado Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Chuppa: If you have the time to babble on this thread, I am sure that you would be able to find the time to send me a file, so that we can settle your upcoming and embarrasing defeat. Geier: Yeah, same goes for you ... get a move on you punk-ass! Kind Regards Leif 'Loket' Olsson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DrAlimantado: Chuppa: If you have the time to babble on this thread, I am sure that you would be able to find the time to send me a file, so that we can settle your upcoming and embarrasing defeat. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Dr. WhateverSillyNameA - Check your files, son. I've been waiting on you. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dogbert: PawBroon, for that post I shall have to re-evaluate you. {Snipped for newbiness vagaries} I expect far more posts of this calibre from a Knigget, or is the title of Knigget a synonym for derriere or laurels, where many of you Kniggets seem to be resting. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> DipMeister, (well I know you're not PeterNZer but seeing as you are insignificant, I thought that maybe the NZ trick would enhance my immersion factor in a world of uncanny boredom), I'm glad you loved it but since when exactly have you been gifted with the wisdom and sheer evilness required to rate someone else of Knigget status? As Head of the French Chapter of the Pool (err, I'm alone in that one so we might concur that I am also various other body parts, but I'm not dwelling on that slippery thread) I demand that you show some more respect for your Elders. If not, you shall be submitted to a PBEM with the WoolProcessor and his mind boggling 5 letters max eMails. Now go play in a corner with some of the parts I have discovered while auditioning myself for the Job I am currently enjoying in the Cesspool Board of Elders. ------------------ "PawBroon: Clinically Insane, also Clinically French, which is very bad as well." Croda [This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Go away Babra - we did not miss you at all. Die-A-Lot now. Does everybody suddenly have the right to post here? Moderator! What about this farty guy? I mean tss and Tommi are pretty cool except for their obnoxious knowledge of obscure Finnish war details. Does he want to prove that there are morons in Suomi too? If so, he succeeded. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 10-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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