Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

File coming your way, Roborat. We will do a qwik battle, you as some sort of moral coward Allied type. 1000 points, meeting engagement, dry.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hold on there Squire. Wait for the Official scenario... being concoted be Germanboy and such other Knights as he may recruit. Be glad I'm disqualified from joining the fun

Who was sponsoring the other dimwit? Oh what the heck - I do the map, and I want Ethan to email me privately to sort out the troops on it. There - I have spoken, thus it hath become like law unto us. Ethan - do your duty. You know you want to.

Kumbaya - the quotes by the military historians were really good. Are you planning on using those in your end-of-term paper?

Oh, and may I quote the two most observing comments I have so far received by PBEM opponents:

Berli - (after watching the turn alluded to in the previous post): 'Bastard'

Peng - (after watching his TD go up in flames): 'Bang bang bleh you are evil.'

Astute, as one would expect from Sauron and Peng.

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Andreas

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

... Must be just about two platoons of yours lying squishy on the battlefield.

PeterNZ

[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 10-20-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, yes, we've all heard. Old news. Even roosters know to stop crowing about the sunrise that happened three days ago. Perhaps you remain fixated on those small victories because your ratcans are in a little trouble of their own.

Just because my zook doesn't hit and kill one of them doesn't mean that you were not totally outmaneuvered in the last turn or so.

Imagine taking two hamstercans to chase little squishy things down into a little valley. Not one chaser and one overwatch, mind you. But both nose-down the hole.

Opened himself up to 3 side shots from a 'zook (curse Sgt Bullwinkle for missing!!!), turning a$$-end to known enemy positions.

At least the TacAI might save you from yourself. One of your hamster drivers had the common sense to pop smoke and think about getting out.

In the mean time, should providence smile on me just a wee bit, you should be down two hamstercans, then the sun will shine, the birds will sing, and this nasty weather shall go away.

And thank you for the appearance of that third hamstercan. I was beginning to think that I would have to send my Gerbils all over the map looking for it.

At last the fun begins, and the next few turns shall tell the ultimate resolution of this battle.

And just for you, a new sig

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[PeterNZer]

Herr Oberst

If turns came more than once every second coming there might be something else to chortle about I guess. As for the hamstercans they have been well covered by *deleted for security reasons* and that sorry attempt for a 'surprise' rear attack, well, it looks like a nice try. We'll see what happens.

Sgt Bullwinkle must be a bit concerned, from where I'm sitting I have a squad or two of SMGs shooting at his little green behind

PeterNZ

[Hiram Sedai]

nice sig, hairy oberst...from my favorite Star Trek movie.

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[Guest Germanboy]

Oh, and an update on the training games with Peter_IthinkIamgloriousalot:

Attack (his): Yes, his idea of an attack is to motor down the road, looking dashing in jeeps and Shermies. Needless to say that cost him dearly so far, with little to show for it. And the fun has yet to start. Nice to see a 75mm RCL hit first shot and blow up a Sherman.

Defense (his): Peter thinks it is a good idea to put one platoon in a 20x20m grid field. So do I, it makes it so much easier to kill them. Those who survived the Churchill's HE rounds are currently being objectified in a BBQ stirred up by a Wasp. I expect him to surrender anytime now.

SquawBroom: I have head more enjoyable games, but this one is by no means finished.

Geier: Arse! Feck! ****e! Nuns! Drink!

Squeaks: Don't know where he is, but my cunning plan is not revolving around him anyway. He is just a minor irritant to be crushed on my way to the VL. And after another consultant brainstorming session I am now sure that I won't, BTW.

Happy Ethan: His elite parabumblers are now cunningly deployed on a bridge with no cover, facing two HMGs and I decided to open up with a 20mm AA gun too. I am sure they'll enjoy it so much, they will stay for tea and bsicuits, home in the Reich. That'll teach him.

Mensch: Maybe you should confer with Blousehouse, he had pretty similar feelings about our game for a while. Now his men are dying a lot. Dashing into the village with your sunglasses on may be a good strategy when you are an 18-year old testosterone-monkey looking for a date in rural Canuckland, but it won't cut much ice with the instructors at the ROTC. Well, live and learn... err, in your case, die and learn.

Peng: he never ceases to amaze me. He is displaying a modicum of tactical understanding. He is doing what others (of similar ineptness) may consider the 'Right Thing'. It won't help him. His infantry who so valiantly assaulted the meaningless house on a slope have now found out that it was in the full view of two mortars. Oops. They have decided to call it quits. His other infantry is dying a lot in the village. We both have one thing with motor left. Should be fun.

Snailtea: haven't had a turn from him in ages. He should get a decent ISP.

Joe: see above

Lorak: He is hiding so well, I am sure he has taken his men out of my drive-way. There's a good lad.

Hope I have not forgotten anyone. Blousehouse was dealt with last time round, so was Berli.

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Andreas

[PeterNZer]

I think Germanboy has been lied to by his troops again, he forgot to mention a few things about this attack, one of them is that since it's a small map, with one road running right up the middle, (which I have had no unit so much as step on btw) it is pretty hard to avoid walking in a roughly parallel line with it.

In addition he has lost quite a few men now to the relentless pounding of my guns and the pops of my rifles. From memory there are Two mgs down, one mortar, the lucky 105mm RCL and a squad of his may be in trouble this turn. I, on the other hand, have lost the jeep and an unlucky sherman, o, one of my platoons has a couple of scratches.

At the same time I'm 2/3 of the way across the map and it's pretty clear where the rest of his lads are hidding. Once I'm ready they two will go the way of his left flank.

On the defence, yes, things are a little messy there, I must have been suffering from total mental failure when i purchased my units. The platoon he mentions were a bit of a mistake, but hey, they squished some poor tommys before their demise, so that is ok.

I doubt I can hold up to his attack, but my attack is going swimingly.

PeterNZ

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterGloatee:

Tautology and then: but my attack is going swimingly.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sure

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Andreas

[Croda]

You gaggle of squeemish little boys, let me update you on my littany of exterminations:

Mensch: He knows he is in a precarious predicament as he is now begging me to attack. His men are dug in, as are mine. He holds an ever so slight advantage, as his Cromwell cheated and blew up my Tiger. Like that could ever happen IRL! So now he begs me to attack because he has no concept of how to further his attack. He will die the death of being swallowed in an Earth Quake.

Evil Mythical Mexican Goat Lad: AbeBegoda? Boy is that lame...for that I will squash your insignificant rebellion. Your men are running now, and had better keep it up. I see you sauntering down off of that hill too. Please come join the fray...it will be soooo much more fun when your big guns go boom like that house you {barely} evacuated. You will die the death of having your eyeballs julliened by rusty razor blades.

Shandorfffffff: You have now succeeded in dropping artillery for 3 consecutive turns without attempt to assault my defenses. And while you have severely depleted your artillery supply, you have only removed me of the burden of one truck, which didn't factor into my plans anyway, but I was given it, so I had to keep it on the map. Now it serves as a place for my men to roast hamster while we await your so called "assault." You will die the death of being shredded alive by gunfire from hidden locations that you weren't cagy enough to bomb before attacking.

Here-I-Am Shoot-Me: You rat bugger! This waiting forever between turns irks me. I have evil plans to blow up your little tank, but I have to wait forever to execute them! No, I will not accept any surrender on that account, as some of my less capable and confident comrades would surely do. But I will defeat you in detail, one weekend at a time. You will die the death of being blown up from obvious places.

Herr Ovaries: You have the benefit of being amusing to me, I will kill you last. So, have you found me yet? Ask shandorffff what it's like to attack my set defenses. He's having a rough go of it, and he hasn't even started yet. When you do get there, you'll know it. You will die the death of being staked to the ground with a cute and cuddly kitten nuzzling it's way through your abdomen until it comes out your back at which time it will move aside and crickets will lay their eggs in the cavity which will proceed to hatch and make cricket noises until you go insane and die from insanity.

PawBroon: My dear. dear Frenchman. I am beating you so soundly that I nearly feel bad taunting you. Perhaps it was the 2 weeks that I spent in your country several years ago that gives me an appreciation for why you French aren't suited for war. It destroyes the lovely countryside. You will die the death of dysentery in a prison camp because you surrendered instead of dying with honor on the battlefield.

Hamsterboy: My timeless arch-rival. The only man in this thread to have beaten me. Utilizer des grands mots. And easily the most well spoken bastard I've ever had the misfortune of taunting. You wait in ambush for my wonderful army, of that I am quite certain. You have only recently taken any of the bait that I have offered you, and I am guessing that was an AI decision, and not your own. I know what you have, and only need to find where you have it, so that I can make marrionettes of the boys operating them. It is only because of your recent birthday, and your appreciation of the Orient that I have waited this long to dispatch you. This battle will be like going to the dentist, and I'm all out of novacaine for you. You will die a special death, the death of having Nell Carter sit on your head casting a spell of flatulence about you, until you're red blood cells start carrying Nell Carter's raw methane to your brain and it rebells, jumping up and leaving your body to writhe and dry up like a worm on the sidewalk after a rainstorm.

And that brings us to the new, great Satan Elvis. I hate you so much. Oh god how I hate you. I would like for Mike Tyson to eat your children for dessert after he eats Lennox Lewis' kids. You are evil, and bastardly and most likely the creator of the black plague and AIDS. I have it from a pretty good source that you were the lad that went to Kenya, boffed the green monkey, and brought back the disease that will turn everyone into green monkeys. You will die the death of having your epiglotus removed, so that you cannot determine the difference between swallowing and breathing. Cheesesteak in your lungs, lovely polluted Philly air in your stomach, until your lungs are so full of food that they hardly get enough air to breath. Then you will be put on an iron lung, and be sent to Sweden and locked in a room with Abba, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for 3 years. After which time your catatonic frame will be sent to the winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, and used as a bobsled by the Jamaican team, who will surely crash you into a snowbank at very high speeds. What is left of your crippled body will be used instead of a bottle of champagne to christen new ships until you litterally shatter into little bits which are eaten by crabs living in Penobscott Bay.

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"Nuts!"

[Roborat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

oh I guess I should learn from you then? wedging it up others aft orifices?

here's a penny now leave me alone.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I couldn't resist hitting on a straight line like that, you were just asking for it. Just so you know, Robomouse is my son's online identity, i had to check the old posts to see if he was wandering in here.

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"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

Geier: Arse! Feck! ****e! Nuns! Drink!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Zactly. So where is the mother-beautiful new and improved setup where I get the gerbils with all the lovely lovelies that go brrrapety-brrapp?

Or do you want to recuperate and put your lungs back in first?

You are soon to be worshipping at the altar of the great Jan Johansson as I've "dealt with" all the mailmen in the world.

It's all in a days work for Confuse-A-Cat Ltd (The BeWilderbeast subdivision).

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

It's all in a days work for Confuse-A-Cat Ltd (The BeWilderbeast subdivision).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well at least it is not 'The Old Firm'. I was getting a bit scared there. Even the Witchking of Angmar would prefer not to have dealings with them...

Setup coming tonight.

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Andreas

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat:

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Whoever these G&S fellows are they've gotten it all wrong. For a proper killing you just walk up to the murderee nice and casual-like and bite his head off. That's really all there is to it.

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[Rainpoet]

After hearing some chatter about me having run off never to return, it just isn't true lads. I am here to stay, I will just buzz around making your lives even more annoying and painful then they are now. Then when I am tired of your attempts at barb-laced sentences, and mere words I will gut you out and let the bacteria feed on you because that is the only thing able to withstand your stench and taste. The reign of distruction will be carried out in due time and a lone measely poet in your eyes will become the one responsible for your troops demise and your slow bloodbath filled death. Get together your poor tactical plans, or if you wish just take more drugs to dim the pain, for the end result is non-reversable, much like you lack of intelligence or common sense. Ill wishes on you all.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

Well at least it is not 'The Old Firm'. I was getting a bit scared there. Even the Witchking of Angmar would prefer not to have dealings with them...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmpf! As if he hasn't had dealings with us... There was that King of Arnor for example, and others too. Still, this is expected in our line of work, no recognition, no "haven't we met before" greetings.

FYI, Confuse-A-Cat Ltd (and its subdivisions) are fully owned by the Old Firm and act mostly as our transport division. They do other things as well, but those are hard to explain. And not even remotely legal.

The future killing and dismemberment of your troops will be fully operated by the Old Firm, seeing as we handle that part of all our Contracts. We aim to please.

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

FYI, Confuse-A-Cat Ltd (and its subdivisions) are fully owned by the Old Firm and act mostly as our transport division. They do other things as well, but those are hard to explain. And not even remotely legal.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good service ensured then.

Thinking of setups. Maybe you want to do the honours? 1000pt infantry only attack, me as US attacker, extreme landscape, bad weather. Medium quality troops. You know the score.

May I say that I am delighted at the opportunity to renew our business acquaintance, and that I shall continue henceforth to renounce any speculation on dealings we may have had or continue to have in the public domain, seeing that it may damage my standing in the eyes of certain observers of a more soft-willed nature. This does by no means indicate an unwillingness to appreciate the good services provided by your organisation on our behalf, and we are aware that unlike so many others you are perfectly satisfied and will indeed revel in the knowledge of another job well done, and another customer pleased. It is a pleasure doing business with you.

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Andreas

[MrPeng]

Woe and shame!

feh! I am so appalled I can hardly stand it. It is with the utmost disgust that I report the AofP has lost to Hamsters/Meeks(!). It was in the wee hours (eastern time USA) that we agreed upon a ceasefire. Both sides exhausted. All armor dispatched, either flaming or abandoned, with small arms ammunition running low on each side. Each of us in firm control of a VL, with only the prospect of more casualties.

The rodents scored an Allied Minor Victory. Final score escapes me at this juncture, but my best recollection puts it at 57 to 43.

FEH!

Peng - hoping several buckets of nails fall on Hamters/Meeks(!)'s heads.

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"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

nice sig, hairy oberst...from my favorite Star Trek movie.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Go back a bit farther.

Moby Dick, Melville, Chapter 135.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

You gaggle of squeemish little boys, let me update you on my littany of exterminations:

Herr Ovaries: You have the benefit of being amusing to me, I will kill you last. Moo, moo, moo...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Members of The Thread... oops, didn't mean to call all of you d$%^s...

anyhow, I present to you evidence that Croda has, at last, truly lost it.

"You have the benefit of being amusing to me..."

He is so out of touch with reality that his own forthcoming demise is a humorous event for him.

Why even now, my brave gerbils are creeping up on his lines, ever so slowly, trembling in fear for their lives. HAR!

You wish, you slovenly, ungrateful puddle of slime! You chose the fog set at 28m so that my troops would not have to see your face, and for that small courtesy I thank you, for that is surely the one and only thing in this world that could deter my gerbils from their holy mission to eradicate your pitiful, peeing-in-their-pants, munching-on-their-own-mucus hamstertruppen from the map.

Dig your hamsterholes deep, and save my gerbils the trouble, otherwise your hamstercorpses will lie outside, putrefying in this foul weather.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Robo-labrat:

Just so you know, Robomouse is my son's online identity, i had to check the old posts to see if he was wandering in here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

aww so sentimental.. I think I steped on something called Robomouse.. made a soft squishy and *eek* sound, was quite satisfying, makes it more so knowing it was one of your fuzzy genetic offspring that you managed to spawn into this world. Man this is too krewl.. wait I think a tear is comming to my eye.. uh uh... no wait.. nope sorry no go, dry as the inside of that egg like cranium of yours.

Maybe if I step on another one of your spawn a wave of emotion will come over me, send'm over.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 10-20-2000).]

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 10-20-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Go back a bit farther.

Moby Dick, Melville, Chapter 135.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

But, who are you quoting? Hirsute Oberst? Herman Melville OR Khan Sing quoting Herman Melville?? Hmmm??

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hamsters:

Bauhaus. I am happy to say I know nothing of him but that which Seanachai, through his ingenious propaganda campaign, has made me believe. The amount of filth attributed to this sick bastard is such that every time I think of him I feel I’m going to turn into an S & M freak. You make me sick, sir, though I’d love to see some of the tricks you’re purported to be skilled at. Mmmm, in some patent leather with a corset… Gah! See, see how well your little game has worked, Seanachai!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Anybody ever realize that Meeks rhymes with Reeks. From what I understand that closely resembles his gameplay.

And how dare you believe anything from a man, and in reference to Penileitch I use that term loosely, who can only manage to produce .5 of a child, as ingenious as that child may be.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I prefer to play Commonwealth troops, but will play either side; a PBEM in the 1,000-1,500 range.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And here we thought you preferred to play with yourself. Thanks for straightening that out, ummmm, no pun intended. Yuk!

[BFCElvis]

Cruda,

I understand your hatred of me. I hate me more than you ever will. Having lost so much of your heavy armor to me in such tight quarters has got to hurt (that silly now dead platoon running right at my firmly entrenched position must have hurt too). And I didn't even give you the courtesy of a reach around.

I continue to feel that I have the advantage in all my current games (even the unbalanced nastiness vs Peng) and I intend to remain cockey until someone knocks me off my high horse. I will not even bothering to embarass my poor happless foes (Peng, Cruda, Hiram, Peter, Doug and Gene {you guys don't know Doug and Gene but they are equaly dead}) by naming them....OOPS I did name them.

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"To conquer death you only have to die" JC

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Shandorfffffff: You have now succeeded in dropping artillery for 3 consecutive turns without attempt to assault my defenses. And while you have severely depleted your artillery supply, you have only removed me of the burden of one truck, which didn't factor into my plans anyway, but I was given it, so I had to keep it on the map. Now it serves as a place for my men to roast hamster while we await your so called "assault." You will die the death of being shredded alive by gunfire from hidden locations that you weren't cagy enough to bomb before attacking.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Crud-da,

Crud-da...Crud-da...Crud-da... You are foolish. You those woods that I Arty'ed... well.. If you aren't holding them in some fashion and you are planning on letting me take them. Sure.. OKay. I will. It wil be a short battle after that.

From those woods I can attack 3 of the VLs and also bring up my reserves in cover without you ever seeing them. Thanks!

Jeff

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

>> Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

>> Go back a bit farther.

>> Moby Dick, Melville, Chapter 135.

But, who are you quoting? Hirsute Oberst? Herman Melville OR Khan Sing quoting Herman Melville?? Hmmm??

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

True, true. After reading your post I did feel a bit of schizophrenic deja-vu from Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan

(From the script)

Scene 246 INTERIOR RELIANT BRIDGE

ON SCREEN, Enterprise, intermittent image, backs away.

Khan smiles triumphantly through his pain. An electronic power SOUND has been building.

KHAN

No... You can't get away... From hell's heart I stab at thee... (amid the pain) For hate's sake... I spit my last breath at thee!

Khan topples forward, dead. The WHINE continues to build chillingly.

...

My sig, as the evidence shows, comes from Melville. Excellent scene, BTW.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 10-20-2000).]