Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Roborat]

How long before that stupid "junior" tag comes off, and I can take the training wheels off???

------------------

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[Hamsters]

Ah, the Cesspool, it’s been a long time. Sometimes your odours have reached me, though I shall not indict the sources. You, Shaw, hold my cloak you simpering man-child. I will be as brief as possible for, though I have only returned to report on Schloss Peng, Seanachai is not the only one to be privy of my special attentions and I have words for the best and worst of you. As is my custom, the mediocre shall have none of my time.

First, this deplorable situation with Pawbroon and YK2 has forced me to drag out of the dustbin of the past a little trip I made to the Swiss Alps. We were all young then and Andreas’s older sister, Germangirl, offered to drive us there (And you thought I was the only one with a sister). I can’t remember why but Pawbroon needed to go down the mountain for something, I think it had to do with my breaking his spine for a perceived slight. Well, to make a long story short, I boffed YK2. Three times in one night. Mind you, this was long ago, when YK2 shaved, wasn’t sagging and didn’t smell like sardines. Also keep in mind that a choice between a French girl (I think she’s French, she spoke with one of those trendy European accents) and a German girl is no choice at all. Yes, well she was distraught and angry with me, so I left her up there and went back down the mountain with Germangirl to go check on old Frenchie. Granted, we took all the supplies, but I understand YK2 grew quite strong living off roast Sherpa. Well, to make a long story short, I boffed Pawbroon. Four times in one night. Needless to say, a choice between a German girl and a French boy is not a choice at all.

As to my nemesis, Peng, I have learned he was on the ECHELON design team, afterward creating PENGELON, which runs the same way but checks for words like, “Buxom, young, taught, hot, 36-24-36” as well as 468 permutations on the word sex and 30,000 synonyms for the female organ. Naturally, he has been reading all of my E-mails, listening to my phone conversations and tapping plants, allowing him to discover my strategy. I respect Peng like the inquisitors respected those heathen Aztec high priests, he’s simple but he gets the job done.

Hiram will always have a place in my black heart, being the only Pooler with the chutzpah to break with the establishment. Of course, this could be because he is weak and easily swayed, much like Wormtongue, so I shall have to test him by ordering him to kill and eat one of you.

Now, dear Roborat, if you continue to be loyal, I shall give you one of Seanachai's femurs so that you may suck the morrow out.

Herr Oberst, though I don’t know him, laid bare one of the sickening aspects of this thread. You 3rd-rate hacks are only too willing to post 3 syllables of mindless chatter and then spend the next five posts crowing about it. For trying to improve this thread, Herr Oberst, I will eat your living heart, you may send me a set-up when you have grown tired of this mortal coil.

Speaking of people I don’t know, Geier is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, covered in tinfoil, roasted in a smoldering pit of embers to be served later on a paper plate and eaten among friends on a rocky beach next to an airport junkyard on an island off the coast of Alaska while the thousand fires of the Aurora Borealis dance above. Send me a set-up, oh onion, so that I may peel the layers and discover who, exactly, you are.

Croda, I brought you into this world and I have proven I that am quite capable of taking you out of it. Having this much power over a person has allowed me to expand my corrosive wit into areas before untapped. Stay in line, Croda, for I have such power over your destiny that I could shape your descendants into circus performers. If you dare raise your hand at me, I shall reveal truths from your past that will drive you insane. If at any point I don’t like the look on your face, I shall descend deep into your psyche and create carnage such as would be unattainable without a Pleistocene shark and a pool full of baby seals.

Bauhaus. I am happy to say I know nothing of him but that which Seanachai, through his ingenious propaganda campaign, has made me believe. The amount of filth attributed to this sick bastard is such that every time I think of him I feel I’m going to turn into an S & M freak. You make me sick, sir, though I’d love to see some of the tricks you’re purported to be skilled at. Mmmm, in some patent leather with a corset… Gah! See, see how well your little game has worked, Seanachai!!!

Shandorf, I’m glad you’ve brought your sorry, defeated carcass into the Pool. It’s clear that your repeated trips to Valhalla, courtesy of moi, have given you access to some of the finest minds in military history with which to confer, so that you have learned some way to defeat me. Of course, last time I checked, I sent most of those bastards there, so I doubt you will achieve another victory during this decade. My spies tell me that said victory had less to do with my poor tactics and more to do with that bearded, half-sheep thing you sleep with and its astounding proclivity toward mid-20th century squad level tactics. I demand that in any future games you do not council your wife (Pet? Servant?) and that you fight me based solely on your own wits, however withered and unused they may be.

Hiram, I choose Mensch as the one you must kill and eat.

OGSF, you rat ninny, it wasn’t just that you were defeated, the only man left under your command, to face my barely winded 150+ men supported by their unused 4 (5, 6, god, I lost count, when you don’t use them, you hardly notice them) HTs, was a broken, battered and I believe homosexual 16 year old named Little Johnny.

I break my mediocre prohibition for PeterNZer because the moron is so mediocre as to warrant notice. You, sir, are the epitome of why it is criminal to put Uranium in a child’s corn flakes. It would be a service to your family, your friends and the human race as a whole if you would throw yourself bodily into the nearest volcano. I pity anyone who shares your genes, which fortunately is limited to those pathetic half-sheep, half-man beasts that inhabit New Zealand (Yes, Shandorf’s in-laws).

Hakko, if you post any more meandering, worthless crap, you will become an honorary Frenchman. As you seem to have a grasp on English, I can only imagine what fevered thoughts are in that swollen head of yours.

Chupe, you funny bastard, you are like a beacon of moderately bright light in a dirty, foggy port that no ship sails to. I hope that some day you get picked up by a bunch of goombahs who, before killing you but after raping you, let you know how much you are appreciated by me.

Berli, Berli, wherefore art thou master of evil? Oh, there you are, in a match with Germanboy… This has significant consequences in the homeland. If Berli is defeated, as is stated in the Necronomicon ex Mortis, Andreas is to be the honorary despicable rat sonofabitch of the Thread. Andreas, you are evil, sir, and I have consulted the Oracle of Delphi who assures me, you will.

Speedy, Goanna & Mace, whom I’ve been meaning to ask, “Who the hell are you, anyway?” must be someone, right? Well, I know Goanna’s cute and Mace is “krazy” and Speedy posted on the first page but, other than that, nothing. Nada. Zip. Cheeseballs.

The rest of you, excepting the fool who I left out because he will be dealt with on the field of battle and the nitwit I left out because I know it’ll cook his rooks to be considered merely mediocre, are worthless, spineless, two-bit wannabes who came into this thread with the full-assed assumption that you would be welcomed by someone. Were I still here, you would’ve had your family jewels torn off, your bones broken, your heads shaved and the whole lot of you would’ve been sold off, part and parcel, to the nearest necrophiliac Arab pedophile.

That said, the cleansing of Schloss Peng looms before me. I knew Berli hated all things but this is too much. The map, obviously, was dragged bodily out of Hades, where it has been crafted by the festering hands of the damned in exchange for the blood of fifty goats. That’s right, he didn’t splurge and spend a virgin or maybe a llama or two, and it shows on this fifty goat hell map. Regardless, Seanachai will be defeated, his men ground to powder and spooned to him by the filthy hands of a Frenchman known only as Henri.

As to the troops, when I receive reinforcements I would order them to shoot my current troops, though I know the reinforcements will likely make these men look like bloodthirsty killers. The vehicles are practically rusting apart in front of my eyes and seem to be selected based entirely on sitcom appeal. In fact, I believe one of my Kangaroos was on a very special episode of Ally McBeal last year.

Well, I am to lift the spell, to lose the longing, to have the child, to wed the Prince, to get the money, to save the house, to kill the wolf, to find the father, to conquer the kingdom, to have, to wed, to get, to save, to kill, to keep, to go to the Festival!

------------------

Barad-Dur, the Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding its time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength.

[This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 10-20-2000).]

[Roborat]

Perhaps I will just keep posting inane messages until it goes away. That should get everyone annoyed enough to send me some pbems. Maybe (shivers with anticipatory dread)it will penetrate the layers of fog shrouding the mighty peng (-quiet you fool, he might hear you!)and rouse him enough to get honour of the mythical peng taunting. Probably require reckless use of smileys though.

------------------

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Cheesehead who pretends he's a minnesotan who wants to be canadian<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh. This should read: the Minnesotan (proud furbearers of the North), who spent a brief time as a Cheesehead (read: Wisconsinite, Biggest Drunkards of the Entire Upper Midwest; Two Bars for Every Church, and Three for Every Inhabitant), who's love for the Canadian border country is deep and abiding, and stems from his happy childhood/lifelong visits, combined with his many visits to Winnipeg for their Folk Fesitval, not to mention never having met a Canadian he couldn't at least put up with for 3 beers; and should also have included: who talks/writes like a Brit for no apparent reason at all that is reasonably apparent to aberrations like yourself.

Must I do/define everything myself?!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I went to Evil Doctor School in Minnesota (lived on the edge of downtown Mpls the whole time), but if you called me a minnesotan I'd probably have to crush you in a game with mostly mech troops (representative of my current place of residence).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, does that mean that you're actually a Doctor? You know, the form of life that is the natural prey of, and just below Lawyers on the acceptability/food chain scale? I live in South Minneapolis, around 38th & Grand, just to give you perspective.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You sure have a big mouth for a Minnesotan-- musta been too much time at the U. I'm also a bit surprised that you haven't been demanding a scandinavian mod-- your troops could say things like "Sven- got any more of that lutefisk", or "Sure looks like snow, Ole" And all the tanks would have rusted off bumpers held on with string.

I suppose with it nearing halloween you're about due for a ton of snow...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I attended, actually, Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota. And I have, in fact, one of the most loquacious personalties to be found in this entire jaw-clenched-head-bobbing-nostril-flaring-one-eyebrow-raised-as-a-form-of-extroverted-communication-community that you could ever hope to find, you nasty, sodding, 'I went there for an edication and came away every bit as ignorant as the average daytime television viewer' first-name-with-initial-using piece of intestinal blockage, Hmmmm?

Send me a setup, you fur nuzzling, 'George, tell me about the hamsters?' 'Chrisl, I already told you about the hamsters' half-witted, don't-my-hands-look-interesting-when-I-do- this-but-mother-why-should-I-stop-when-the-results-are-so-much-more-interesting-than-anything-I-could -ever-accomplish-in-any-other-way piece of ****e.

Now, who's for a bit of a sing-song?

------------------

Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 10-20-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 10-20-2000).]

[Roborat]

Damn, it's still there.

I notice hamsters managed to crawl out from under his rock for a few minutes, appears to have gotten into those mushrooms again, wasn't somebody supposed to be watching him. Good to see he is still alive, in body anyway. I salute you, my sponsor (inserts thumb firmly up nose and wiggles fingers)

------------------

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[Roborat]

Hey senileguy, how did you manage to visit Winnipeg without being carried off by the mosquitos. By the way, Winnipeg is one of the worst places to go to experience Canada, the entire province is one big slough (sorry swamp to you Americans and easterners), draining into Hudson Bay. Come to Alberta, we don't have nearly as many parasitic insects (just the prov. government), the watertable is generally below ground surface, we actually see the sun in the summer, and going outside in the winter is not considered life threatening work requiring danger pay.

I speak from personal experience, having lived in Gimli when it was still an airforce base, and my mother grew up there, so I spent most of my childhood summers visiting with those of my relatives unable to manage to escape the 'Peg.

------------------

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[This message has been edited by Roborat (edited 10-20-2000).]

[Roborat]

Hey, no junior, I can take the beanie cap and suspender shorts off now. Wahoo!

------------------

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[MrPeng]

Hamsters/Meeks(!):

that was beautiful.

------------------

"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[Roborat]

Cool, it even changes all my old posts too! Kind of makes my posts look stupid though (don't bother hitting on that line, it's too obvious). Can you tell I was really bored tonight?

------------------

"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Hamsters/Meeks(!):

That was beautiful.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Meeks is Back...

The little scoundrel sure took his time but that was worth it.

I've earned an early treatment and 7 cumulative boffings between Yuk and I.

Impressive.

------------------

Goaty to YK2: I can teach your ass that yes, it can be spanked so hard...

PawBroon to Goaty: I do not take subcontractors!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat:

Damn, it's still there.

I notice hamsters managed to crawl out from under his rock for a few minutes, appears to have gotten into those mushrooms again, wasn't somebody supposed to be watching him. Good to see he is still alive, in body anyway. I salute you, my sponsor (inserts thumb firmly up nose and wiggles fingers)

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, no, it's quite alright, Meeks is here for our combat as to who will lead the Brotherhood into the next 3K posts of filth, weirdness, gibberish, boasting, literary references, madness, awkward excuses, mendacity, Losing to Peng, abuse, invective, bouts of Pure Evil, and sing-songs. Whoever wins, I insist upon the sing-songs. I've just this evening sent him the file for our Knightly combat to decide whether I get to stand in the rain, bellowing laughter while holding the unchewed portions of his liver over my head while singing Kurt Weil and Gilbert&Sullivan songs and doing the Underpants Dance (which resembles the Scottish 'sword dance', in that it's a complicated, syncopated, and agile dance performed to the music of the pipes with the variation that it's done while wearing your underpants on your head; in the more expert mode, it's done with the underpants pulled down over your eyes), or he gets to say: hey, I win, give me your allegiance or die.

And on that note, let me just say, whoever wins, it is apparently The Peng's Birthday (or it was when I was last somewhat in charge of anything this last evening). And so I sing:

Ya te puckety

ring ting fatoo

Ni Ni Ni!

Yarroo!

Happy Birthday, Peng, without whom None of This would have been Necessary (and Jesus to Jesus and Eight Hands Around, Peng, the whole bleeding edifice has been Immense, Bizarre, and has already Suffered Resurrections! A Testimonial, Dear Friends!) Oh, alright, Peng, give me that pen. Now, where does Berli, good old Satan Hellspawn, want me to sign?

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[chrisl]

I'm not that sort of a doctor. I can't do surgery. Well, not legally...but if you look at Peng in a few days you might see some of my handiwork. I'm in the process of anaesthetizing him right now. Once I put his troops to sleep I'll sneak in and slit their little throats from ear to ear.

You ought to try reading profiles occasionally. Rather than blathering on about how you would love to be an Irish-French-Canadian, swilling beer, chopping trees, and trapping furry little animals in the woods of Kay-bek. I can imagine you now, in one of those throaty Quebecois growls: "You 'amsters, you are de worst 'amsters in de world. I 'ate you all". Yet at the same time, you put on an english personality as well. Are you preparing to secede from yourself?

I was at 16th and Park.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I attended, actually, Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah. That means that you play Ultimate and were a physics major. I think I've met very few people from Carleton for whom both weren't true. I've probably stepped on your feet, then, at some field in St. Paul whose coordinates escape me (right near a bunch of cornfields on the St. Paul campus. With an SA about a half mile away. Oh, right. That describes the whole St. Paul campus. Whatever.), or somewhere on the fields of Fort Snelling. If not, then I would gladly step on your feet (and hard) if given the opportunity. Wearing sharp spikes, of course.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Send me a setup <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ya, sure. you betcha. (cocks eyebrow as form of extroversion)

Some time tomorrow night. Any particular terms?

Oh, and Meeks. I've gotta agree with Peng. That was the best thing you've done in a long time. Must be the thoughts of how your toes will soon be cold. Very cold. Colder than Sneezy-teas. Turning black and falling off, like little dead field mice, caught in traps and left to desiccate. And the tip of your nose turning white as snow, then eventually blue, purple and black. Your sister cackles when she sees you again. Bwahahahaha. "Do they make special shoes for people without toes?" she says, "Why don't you just fill up the fronts of your shoes with hamsters and stick your feet in to let them nibble on the remaining bits of scarred flesh?"

------------------

Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>File coming your way, Roborat. We will do a qwik battle, you as some sort of moral coward Allied type. 1000 points, meeting engagement, dry.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hold on there Squire. Wait for the Official scenario... being concoted be Germanboy and such other Knights as he may recruit. Be glad I'm disqualified from joining the fun

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

Check your mailbox cretin, I sent it before my last post.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Milady, may I just say how proud I am to bend knee before you, and enter in to a noble contest of wits between us.

SOD OFF, YOU USELESS PECKERHEADS, I'M TRYING TO SHOW YOU HOW A PACK OF RATHOUNDS LIKE YOURSELF MIGHT APPROACH A TRUE KNIGHTLY CONFLICT AGAINST A LADY, UNLIKE THE UNSEEMLY BLEATING, POSTURING-ON-TOE-TIP, AND THINGY-GRABBING THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN SUBJECTED TO LATELY!

I received your setup in my email, but did not recognize the address of the sender, and so did not realize it was your own fair self.

THAT'S HOW SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SO FAR GONE INTO TESTOSTERONE POISONING THAT 'JOKES ABOUT SEX WITH RELATIVES' SEEMS FUNNY SPEAKS WHEN ADDRESSING AN HONOURABLE OPPONENT, YOU GANG OF NEWBIE NITS!

Now, should our conflict prove intriguing to you, and full of pith and marrow, I hope that you might reconsider your desire to merely lurk here, in this admittedly vile environment, and prove a true knight, and stride forth to enlighten the heathen in combats of wisdom and justice.

THAT MEANS, YOU GANG OF CHIMPANZEES, THAT I HOPE YK2 MIGHT IGNORE ALL THE LAME REMARKS AND PAUNCH & GROIN SCRATCHING LONG ENOUGH TO CONSIDER TAKING THIS GAME AS A SERIOUS FORM OF INTELLECTUAL ENGAGEMENT, UNLIKE THE PLASTIC CUP COMPARISONS OF COLLECTED DROOL THAT ARE BEING PASSED OFF AS WIT AND STRATEGY LATELY!

YK2, I hope that our forthcoming battle shall enlighten and enrich both our lives, and I anticipate Stomping you into the Mud Utterly, and forcing your troops to worship me as the God of All Punishment, and make them bend the knee and weep petitions of utter abasement in the hopes of avoiding a more thorough brutalization of their very being. Bar that, I hope to avoid you making me put on anything pink and singing songs in praise of your troops. But, hell, isn't everyone up for a bit of a sing-song?

NOT YOU LOT, YOU USELESS, DEGRADED, UNSHAVEN AND FOUL-SMELLING EXAMPLES OF WHY THE POLICE PERIODICALLY ROUND-UP EVERYONE LIVING UNDER HIGHWAY OVERPASSES! YOU MAKE ME PUKE! YOU'RE ALL HORRID LITTLE MEN, AND I CAN'T THINK WHY ANYONE EVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE BROUGHT ON AS DEFENDERS OF THE REALM!

Now, YK2, I accept your challenge, and you shall recieve my return file later in what is now a very early morning.

THE REST OF YOU LOT OF HOPELESS WANKS SHOULD TAKE AT LEAST SOME NOTICE OF HOW AN ACTUAL WARRIOR, RATHER THAN A SEWAGE CONTROL OFFICER, DEALS WITH AN OPPONENT, AND HUSTLE ABOUT TO KISS MY NETHER BITS IN APPRECIATION OF A LESSON THAT'S COST YOU NOTHING EXCEPT THE EMBARRESMENT OF HAVING TO DWELL ON YOUR OWN PAST POSTINGS IN AN HIGHLY UNCOMPLIMENTARY WAY.

ROIGHT, THEN!

YK2, my soon to be defeated suppliant, pray to the Goddess for guidance in this, our conflict, and make further prayer that YOU NEVER END UP ON THE RECEIVING END OF AN ALL CAPITALS ASSESSMENT OF THE USELESS SACS OF PUS, AND PECULIARLY PUNGENT, YET IMPOTENT PUS, THAT MOST OF THIS THREADS POSTERS ACHIEVE.

I look forward to our game.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Mother Theresa]

Viva la Minnesota!!!, eh.

------------------

"Out of fuel, become a pillbox. Out of ammo, become a bunker. Out of time, become heros"

[Speedy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

ahh, another loss for the Lorak. to...Seanachai.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh I say old boy I must remember to get around to issueing you with a challenge one day. I do so enjoy the easy victories.

------------------

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mother Theresa:

Viva la Minnesota!!!, eh.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, now they show up. Okay, Shandorf, here's another...er...of us...of...who in hell are you, anyway? All are welcome here (well, all who've the stomach to stay), but we need more than that before we're going for a beer with you, laddy...lady?...whatever.

That's crust, that is, taking on the name of a soon to be Saint. Mind, it's somewhat weird crust on a thread devoted to combat, but mayhap a bit over the top, nevertheless.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

I'm not that sort of a doctor.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, yes, so many of them say that nowadays.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

You ought to try reading profiles occasionally. Rather than blathering on about how you would love to be an Irish-French-Canadian, swilling beer, chopping trees, and trapping furry little animals in the woods of Kay-bek. I can imagine you now, in one of those throaty Quebecois growls: "You 'amsters, you are de worst 'amsters in de world. I 'ate you all". Yet at the same time, you put on an english personality as well. Are you preparing to secede from yourself?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, I see you're a physicist! Does that mean you have to be paid overtime from a grant of public funds to try and focus in on the Real World, you posturing lunatic? Not that there's anything wrong with that; no, of course not!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I was at 16th and Park.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, so you've already paid a portion of your bill.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Some time tomorrow night. Any particular terms?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I prefer to play Commonwealth troops, but will play either side; a PBEM in the 1,000-1,500 range.

------------------

After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hamsters:

Speaking of people I don’t know, Geier is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, covered in tinfoil, roasted in a smoldering pit of embers to be served later on a paper plate and eaten among friends on a rocky beach next to an airport junkyard on an island off the coast of Alaska while the thousand fires of the Aurora Borealis dance above. Send me a set-up, oh onion, so that I may peel the layers and discover who, exactly, you are.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You will have some trouble discerning "who" I am I fear. "What" I am is easier: I am the Maker of Dead Things, The Bogeyman, The thing that goes boom in the night, basically a multitude of hamsters worst fear.

And that is all you need to know. Playing me will only result in the slaughter of all your men and will leave you as clueless as ever. So think again and then tell me if you really want a setup from me.

P.S "If you gotta go, you might as well go wrapped in tinfoil." You got that part right.

And the enigma/conundrum bit as well. Beautiful.

------------------

Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally puked up by Robomouse:

Thats what happens when you function with your head firmly wedged up your solids elimination orifice<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

oh I guess I should learn from you then? wedging it up others aft orifices?

here's a penny now leave me alone.

[PeterNZer]

Herr Oberst

I'm sorry your men are likely pickled onions to my onion fork, pierced and quickly peeled, however the superiority of my setup and strategy is just having a general Kharmic effect on this game. It's not so much that your zooks keep missing, rather that they are never going to hit because you are not destined to beat me.

Safe in the knowledge of my assured victory my Hamsters are enjoying the general slaughter and destruction they wreck at every turn. Must be just about two platoons of yours lying squishy on the battlefield.

Meeks

As for Hamster/Geeks, you bore me child. After the mod thread collapsed under the sheer monotony and utter pointlessness of the thread some of us decided to save our own minds by talking gibberish rather than put up with another 'j00s suXors, m0d CM!' post. Along comes meeks, all high-and-mighty like some lordly pillock with a small barony sutck up his heiny and throws a tanty, demanding I cease and desist and we all stop talking about off-topic stuff!

O, poor darling. Perhaps he wasn't breast fed, perhaps he is still being breast fed? Either way lets hope he sticks to this thread before delussions of self importance, self worth, masculinty, consume him.

PeterNZ

[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 10-20-2000).]

[mensch]

well fellow Poolers, here is a small itsy witsy update for you all, one I forgot to put pants on today so its a little breezy at the momment, (sit down Crudda and heres a penny and don't spend it all at one place now you hear). two, Kiniggits schmiggits its a Title no more (at least till I get the title). Right now back to some real juicy news

Peng Battle: After minutes of silence and my troops waiting in ambush, Trooper Hanz (who will be shot), could not hold it in any more after eating 5kg (thats 11 lbs for all you lugg heads who have not entered the metric system like the rest of the world) let loose with a loud but harty *brraaaffff*. At first pengs troops thought damn the jerries are using chemical weapons again... but which chemical weapon has a aftersmell of speck? (that pork for you non-german speakers).. so they opted to give Hans's unit a more "iron/metal based diät"... they are now seen running for the nearest WC (thats washroom/toilet for you un-educated boobs).

So after seeing in discust this act next to them the rest of the Hamsters lay in ambush mode and lo and behold the Pungster troops walk right in my ambush, intelligence posts that at least one maybe two units of pengkomons running back to the safety of mamas arms.

Gobsmakboy: Well what can I say, nothing to be seen... aside of a few harmless houses that have appeared to have anoyed Andy's army and recieved a swift arty spanking.. nothing... tell me andreas its turn 10 from 40 you may want to do something, like ohh ADVANCE!!??

Scrodum: He's hiding he's Dying He's running.. this is not alot of fun.. oh ok yes it is.

Spuka: where is me round you Fig brain?

SpawnBroom: Just started so nothing witty to say about this Baguetteboy.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 10-20-2000).]

[Chupacabra]

DITDITDIT DITDITDITDITDIT DITDITDIT

Updates from the front!

Dr Ableeblahblahblo - This would be what the Germans call Ein Schluggenfest. It's dark, it's snowing, lots of things are on fire. We've lost most of our vehicles, so it's mostly down to the groundpounders now. I've got a Daimler trying to track down one of his Psw thingies, but that's sort of a sideshow at this point. This one's touch and go, I think.

AbeBegoda - Burn, my pretties, BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!!! He's kinda sorta trying to flank me, and I kinda sorta don't care, 'cuz I don't think it matters at this point. His tanks will die soon, and his infantry is screaming and running a lot.

Snoriarty - Er, what can I say. Sometimes you just get lucky and pound the other guy's infantry with rockets, take out all of his tanks with side shots, and nail his recoilless rifles with the first shell.

------------------

Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super.

[Chupacabra]

FURTHER UPDATE!

Dr Achybreakyheart

My Daimler has put a few shots right through his Psw, knocking the bugger out! A panel of military historians has declared this action the single most important event of the war!

Said Anthony Beevor: "Yeah, I thought that Stalingrad **** was a big deal, but hey, mea culpa, that Psw getting KOd beats that hands down."

John Keegan added: "Word, you know, you study this **** all your life, and then you hear about a Daimler scout car blowing the hell out of a Psw armored car, and it's like, dude, I'm freaking out! That is some heavy, heavy stuff there, man."

John Erickson: "Yeah, it's just a shame the Krauts didn't surrender when they had the chance."

JK: "I know, right? It's like, god only knows where the hell those man-eating tigers came from, or how they got the taste for sweet, sweet German flesh, but man, they sure messed that place up."

AB: "Seriously, if I saw a man-eating tiger running around eating my freaking Hauptsturmfuehrer, I'd be like, yo, seeya, wouldn't want to be ya."

JK: "Proper."

------------------

Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super.

[Hiram Sedai]

Hamsters/Meeks has returned.

ROIGHT How about a little sing-song then!!

(*As squire to the Bard, I can do this)

I dare you to celebrate

it will be such fun

meeks will menstruate

on everyone

The Knights will dance

the squires sing

Croda will crap

on everything

And so we welcome

our hamster friend

perhaps he'll speak

with his rear end

*Taken from the Rules of the Cesspool circa 1637 AD - Councel of Peng.

------------------

Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous