PawBroon Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by the Inquirer: Since your Germans seem to be in the town, they wouldn't be any good anyway, the girls probably only know how to whip boys in leather while the hun crawl around licking the girls feet saying 'yess misstresss' <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's why we were invaded in the first place in any case. BTW, that one should be P0.5K. Makes me the official 500th ,1500th and 2000th poster in the Cesspool as a whole... Beat it Worth with your meager 3000th posting... ------------------ Goaty to YK2: I can teach your ass that yes, it can be spanked so hard... PawBroon to Goaty: I do not take subcontractors! [This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 10-18-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: There's only one way to fight this, and that's Grog-Porn™. Herewith an excerpt from Rear-Area Action (Amsterdam: Leather Tiger Press, 1999): Swinging his manly bulk over the shot-trap, SS-Oberspankführer Großeier mounted his Pzkw V Ausf. D with tight-fitting Zimmerit coating and anti-rocket corsets. Lovingly he stroked the long, hardened steel barrel of the 75L48 cannon. His piercing gaze fell upon the naked torso of his driver, Gefreiter Schaffevögeln, rhythmically swabbing out the barrel. Although he could feel in the core of his being that his commander was giving him the eye, Schaffevögeln suddenly started to slack. "Ram harder, damn you!" screamed Großeier as he saw his driver's long tool begin to droop. "Give that barrel a damn good reaming out!" Schaffevögeln redoubled his efforts; sweat began to drip down his chest onto his shiny leather boots. The force of it made the Panzer's barrel quiver. "That's more like it!" screamed Großeier, "Harder, harder, harder! Yes, that's it!" Completely satisfied with his driver's reaming, Großeier turned his attention to the ammo cart that was being pulled by a team of strapping, sweaty horses... Well, I hope that's cleared the air a bit. Sure made me feel manly. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ethan, that does it - I laughed, I cried, I hammered my fists onto the floor. This was the funniest thing I ever read on this board. Good thing you speak German. ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Hey Hacking Icky, that grog-porn was the most demented thing I've seen, on an increasingly demented thread. I loved it, almost got caught by my boss laughing out loud. Waiting for Chapter 2: "The adventures of Fritz and Nashorn" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Serialise it, and post it on the main boards PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>A warning to all of you: I'm not very good at CM right now, but give me a year and you will be in so much doo doo. Watchoutnow!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why wait? Take your best shot boy. I have room open for another bitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Fellow Knights (and a sorry bunch of bastards you are), I put to you that Grog Porn (being a truly inventive post) is not the post of a lowly squire. I propose that the sickly little git that is known as Hakko Ichiu be admitted to the ranks of Knights of the Cesspool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 I'm gone for two hours and you all start talking about my crank. What's the deal with that? And cute little YK2 wasn't even a part of the conversation. And PawBroon! That is the last time I take a leak with you around...peeking over the wall again! I am sending all of your turns out now. A few of them have so much carnage in them that they may explode in your mailbox, so be careful...except for you shandorffffff. You just open yours up real fast like... ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Umm Mr. Satan Sir... Sir Hakko is already a kniggit. Sorry for speaking out of turn oh dark one. I will now bang my head on the deck until forgiven. Lorak the loathed. ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Lorak, what do I have to do to reach Kniggit status? You got me into this, now guide me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Ah, confused him with Hiram... all scum look alike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Ahh Foobar. Really simple. You need to get a kniggit to sponsor you. Then challenge another squire to a joust. Beat the ever-loving-**** out of them Claim your Kniggit hood. ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Zorak: Also in Cesspool news. I've added 3 new squires to our midst. Chrisl Speedy Cpt.Foobar (just because I know he didn't want it) Lorak the loathed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, if you added me, you must be a kniggit, yes? And if not, what right does a lowly squire have going around initiating people, you syphallitic prick? Now, down to business. I am currently engaged in a PBEM with the laughingstock of the CM community, Hamsters. This heretic has had me crying, falling out of my chair laughing since turn one. His combination of French troops, gamey halftrack suicide rushes, and general lack of sense,have made this, my inaugural cesspool match completely bizarre. He just ran 3 halftracks, and two jeeps into a cliff face, while fnord trying to rush them through my positions. Now they are trapped their waiting to be dispatched. My suspicions are that this tactic was a just a cheap attempt to look at my peen. If this kind of behavior is what I have to expect from the rest of you in the future, I will be spnding alot more money on drugs than I had planned. ------------------ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: SturmTiger! Blah blah blah rarity, blah blah blah. SturmTiger SturmTiger SturmTiger!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 I wish to put forward a proposal of a 2 minute silence for the heroic survivors of Kampfgruppe Stuka, who even as we speak are holed up Stalingrad style in a wooded hillock far on the left flank of my front. Completely cut off and surrounded by the black hordes of the AoP, their armour knocked out and facing 2 A/C's, an unidentified tank and a mass of infantry they bravely battle on without hope of a releif column. I have promoted Leutnant Gerbil to Field Marshall and issued orders to fight to the last bullet...... [2 minutes later..] By the bearded bum of beezlebub, Peng I hate you now! If you thought I hated you before that is nothing compared to now, bub! You are lower than the black goo that collects under the toenails of a bacteria that inhabits the lower colon of a flea which spends it life wedged firmly in the buttcrack of a dung beetle! As of this moment my champion aryan-hamsters have removed the powder from their ammo and will now place the bullets against the bodies of your men and hammer them in! You will not know peace until the last waft of flatulence escapes the decomposing ring pieces of your troops. No more Mr Nice Stuka! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 PS Peng, I still like you more than OGSF though....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: PS Peng, I still like you more than OGSF though.......<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ahh PUKE!! and chew the lumpy bits! OGSF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am currently engaged in a PBEM with the laughingstock of the CM community, Hamsters.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> He thinks Meeks is the laughingstock of the CM community (must not have met Blousemaus yet)... there is a certain sense to this. I will sponsor wretch. Now Squire Foobar, you must challenge one of the other unworthy scum and vivisect them. Let's see YK2 has been sponsored by that vile Frenchman... that alone is grounds for disembowelment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 19, 2000 Author Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: I have never been so disappointed in the quality of posts on this, The Thread, in all my days. Not only did the pitiful lot of you manage only eighty-one words across five posts (and NO, sigs do not count!), but they were weak-willed, lemming-like postings of a "Oooo, that's cute, let's all hop on the bandwagon of Hi-rump Said-who." It's a good thing the pool needed redecorating today, because there's now a thick coating of yellow stomach-bile on the walls after I read your posts. Those of you seeking to become Kniggets better post some stronger stuff, or you will fall pitifully behind, and ol' Pengy boy, you had better keep up the foulness as well, or the pool itself (namesake or no) will rise up and cause your topplement into the abyss. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I don't know that we need any stronger posting, but we could certainly do with some wittier posting. Things have been sliding rather downwards, lately, with a great deal of posting about brothels, ladies of the evening, and a great deal of name-calling revolving around 'little girls', 'girly', and other, less savoury misogyny. Now, I'm aware that when little boys in knee pants meet on the playground, this sort of thing is considered derigueur, but here, where Hairy Men are expected to roar challenges over the noise of battle while smacking each other soundly across the face with full plate metal gloves, and laugh while washing the blood off their mouths with foaming ale, it just seems rather, er, high-pitched and strident. A little desperate, shall we say. That said: Miss Gilchrist: I forgive her. She is a poor sinful person. Meg: And you're a half-time whore. Pat: Compliments pass when the quality meet. The Hostage -Brendan Behan ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 19, 2000 Author Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Come my brethren let us sweat, fart, pass bowel, and generally do nasty things that only MEN do, least we mutate into something woefully resembling a gentlemen's club where Ricky Martin music bellows out as we pass civilities between us. I say NEVER! NEVER I tell you! UNITE! Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, and this one's hard to let pass from the North suburbs where the money goes out to build Ballys Total Fitness clubs and cuts down all the trees to make room for their huge houses, then plants new trees around them. In the Old Days we painted ourselves blue, wrapped a tartan around our waists just to keep the chill off, and went out to hideous places like Plymouth and ate the inhabitants, then piled their bones up on the manicured lawn for the poodles to sniff at. But the 1980s are over, and now, in this new modern era, we have to let them in here to look for PBEM games. Sigh. ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 19, 2000 Author Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: He thinks Meeks is the laughingstock of the CM community (must not have met Blousemaus yet)... there is a certain sense to this. I will sponsor wretch. Now Squire Foobar, you must challenge one of the other unworthy scum and vivisect them. Let's see YK2 has been sponsored by that vile Frenchman... that alone is grounds for disembowelment.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Berli, strolling through a field of flowers, that wither and blacken behind him as he passes: I used to be his favourite Angel, you know. Seanachai: Really? Berli: Oh, yes. Lucifer, I was back then, Bringer of the Light. Seanachai: But what happened? Berli: Oh, well, you know how disagreements with Management go. Tempers fray, words pass, you try to overthrow the Lord of Heaven and assume total control over His creation, and the next thing you know, you get a prejudicial write-up and a really tawdry severance package. Seanachai: I'll be damned! Berli: Of course you will! You stick with me, Seanachai, and you'll have a corner office overlooking the Abyss. Company car, administrative assistant, the whole nine yards. Seanachai: Really? Can I have Meeks as my Admin Assistant? Berli: Well, we'll have to wait on that one. Meeks, having attempted to use heresy, manipulation, and apostasy in a power-mad grab to take control of the Peng Challenge Thread and spike the hearts of all those Knights not loyal to him on the fence railings of his new Cesspool is being considered Management material. We like to promote from within, you know. But you could certainly have Bauhaus. Or Elvis. Send Peng a memo, and it's done. Seanachai: Peng is with you, too? Berli: Of course. And Andreas, Geier, Mark IV even Shaw, that white port swilling journalist. Yes, they've all come on board. When you sign up, you'll have your choice of women, the heads of all nations will bow before you, and you'll never have a traffic ticket again for all eternity. Seanachai: Women too? Even some of PawBroon's girls? Berli, frowning: We don't handle the French. They're another division. It's all under the same umbrella, mind you, but it's an 'on paper' thing. Still, something could certainly be worked out. Seanachai: Wow, sounds amazing. But what would be expected of me? Berli: Oh, not much, really. You'd merely sign some documents turning over all rights to your immortal soul, agree to spend eternity as one of the Damned, and forsake all hopes of salvation until such time as the Apocalypse occurs and renders all previous contracts null and void. The usual agreement. Seanachai: Well, that's not that much, really. Berli: Oh, and, well, one other small thing. Seanachai: Yes? Berli: You have to agree to lose to Peng for eternity. Seanachao: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! POP! Wha...where am I? Oh, Peng, I had the strangest dream. Berli was in it, and so were you. And Shaw, Andreas, we were all in it. Why are you offering me that pen? ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 19, 2000 Author Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Let's see YK2 has been sponsored by that vile Frenchman... that alone is grounds for disembowelment.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As Honourary French, I would be happy to give YK2 a game. Frankly, the sheer weirdness of anything to do with Carmen Miranda is enough for me to forego any hesitation at playing a Squire. Let YK2s iniatition proceed as it will, but I'll give a game. ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandorf Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Crud-da you moron, You sent me the file I sent you! You dolt! I already sent you an e-mail on it but I geuss it takes to long to reply when you are typing with only one hand! Arrrgh! Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 Well, YK2, I don't know much about you, but that helps me maintain a strong opinion about you. If you are anything like your sponsor, the CelticWannabe PenileItch, you are just plain pathetic, and I will dispatch you with the zeal of a horny chimpanzee with a pile of stuffed animals. You will marvel at my tactical genius, and curse my incredible luck. And hopefully, you will at least try to call me names and insult me. So keep it interesting, I will give suggestions if you need to call me something. Pistols at Dawn, Y2k...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 AAAaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! I go to Canberra for a few days and come back to this, 14 MORE PAGES. Oh well time to start reading. ------------------ Work is the curse of the drinking class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 19, 2000 Author Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf: Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What the...how many freaking Shandorfs have we got in here? And why are they all named Jeff? One's profile says Brooklyn Park (shudder), and the other one's claiming Plymouth(gack). I thought Meeks was our only multiple personality. Is there some kind of northern suburb clone works out there? ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted October 19, 2000 Share Posted October 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*: I am currently engaged in a PBEM with the laughingstock of the CM community, Hamsters. This heretic has had me crying, falling out of my chair laughing since turn one. His combination of French troops, gamey halftrack suicide rushes, and general lack of sense,have made this, my inaugural cesspool match completely bizarre. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You dare to insult my sponsor, you untutored heathen, that's my job. Accordingly, I am compelled to challenge you to a duel, (pulls out a frozen frozen herring and slaps "*Captain Foobar*" across the face). Send your setup, only conditions are that I am Canadian, (or at least British, no loud mouth, poorly dressed, rude yankees for me, thank you very much), and we will commence the knees bent advancing behavior. My gopher brigade will teach you some manners, or at least provide the comedy relief. This is a limited time offer, and as I am still new to this game, it will be your only chance to brag, in your declining years, that you once defeated the immortal (or immoral, your choice) Roborat in battle. This is also open to any other of you wanna-be squires. And since I didn't get any complaints, my sig is back, at least till I find something better, so bite me if you don't like it ------------------ "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" -apologies to Neitchze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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