jshandorf Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: [The pathetic ramblings of a broken man.] <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Don't mind me I just here to kick some cesspool water in Crud-da's face. Crud-da, Damn, looks like the marriage has taken the bone out of your back you spineless jelly fish. Just to let you know our game is registered at the TournamentHouse, so be prepared for your ensuing public humiliation you toad. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Just to let you know our game is registered at the TournamentHouse, so be prepared for your ensuing public humiliation you toad.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Public humiliation? What are you going to do, expose me for the heart-breaker and life-taker that I am? PLEEEEEZZZEEEE don't do that mr. Shandorfffffffffffffff. PLEEEEEEZZZEEEEEE!!! You will have your file tonight. You may even be excited by the map and your units. The problems will start to occur when you commence your attack. My suggestion: Have your reserve elements avert their eyes as the recon squads go forward. If they see the carnage that has betaken their brethren, they may not be too keen on fighting, and I'd HATE to see you run away like Sir Robin after only a few turns. I intend to be vile, devious, and maybe even a little crafty, but certainly painful. "Colonel Shandorffffff! Colonel Shandorfffffff! Oh No! They put landmines down along our only route of advance!" "That underhanded bastard! He knows I'm not wily enough to elude stationary landmines. I'm afraid he's got us men. Run Away! Run Away!" Get ready. Your bodybags are being FedExed to you as we speak. ------------------ "Nuts!" [This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Don't mind me I just here to kick some cesspool water in Crud-da's face. Crud-da, Damn, looks like the marriage has taken the bone out of your back you spineless jelly fish. Just to let you know our game is registered at the TournamentHouse, so be prepared for your ensuing public humiliation you toad. Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Frau Shandorf, If you're going to come trolling in these waters you simpering pile of rodent droppings, the first lesson that we will have to push through the meter-thick bone which is your forehead is that your ratio of taunting, insulting words is far too low to notice above the settling mist 'o the pool. Were it not that your pitiful rendition of taunting appeared first, foremost, and all alone on page 16 of The Thread, you would have never been noticed. Your weak-willed, candy-a$$ed attempt at taunting has left me no choice but to post some invective of my own, far surpassing your simperings, lest this page shrivel and die from the lack of sustenance in your post. The notion that any of us from the pool need look to TournamentHouse for our ratings is laughable. In here, you know someone's rankings by how much goo they've got on them. Now begone, and let me return to the murk at the bottom of the pool. AND NO! I am not defending that pinheaded Croda who weaseled his post in The Thread before mine!! ------------------ I have challenged the QA team to a Bat-Leth contest. They shall not trouble us again. [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Crud-da, You couldn't defend a box Ho-Hos from a pack of fat, hungry midgets if your life depended on it you doofus. And I can probably assume you couldn't attack your way out of a paper bag to boot! You wouldn't know how to defend a VL if the instructions fell out of the sky, landed on your face, and proceeded to wiggle about. So spare me the vitriolic spewing. You silly, silly man. I will make you beg for mercy. Your men will scatter before me like lemmings rushing off a cliff. Which is in fact the only place you could lead soldiers. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Yes, Herr Ovaries! Get thee to the bottom of the Pool where you spend your days searching for the lady with the sword, thinking she may waste her gift on a genetic anomaly like yourself! The setup I shall send you will tax your meager skills of sight and sound, let alone your paltry amounts of tactical and stategic know-how. I guarantee that you have not learned enough about combat by sneaking around stalking your neighbors kids, to match wits with me on the field of battle. I am thinking that I shall set you up with a monstrosity like I gave to Here-I-Am Shoot-Me. It shall be a nasty little probe, and your assault will find ambushes behind every rock and pebble. Pray, pray for enough rain to wash away the rivers of blood that shall stain the very earth upon which your men shall forfeit their worthless lives to Mars! So, uh, how many points do you want to play anyway? ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Crud-da, You couldn't defend a box Ho-Hos from a pack of fat, hungry midgets if your life depended on it you doofus<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Am I to take it that you are now insulting fat, ugly, hungry midgets? That is the last straw, Shandorffffffffffffffffff. I can live with the taunts and the ugliness, but I cannot abide a man who takes jabs at defenseless little genetic abhorrations like midgets. And fat ones to boot! You, sir, are the scum of the earth, and I vow to return you to that earth in the very near future. ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Some insignificant entity who isn't even A SQUIRE has invaded our sanctuary and squeaked:Don't mind me I just here to kick some cesspool water in Crud-da's face.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh we don't mind you, save that you take up space that could be more usefully appropriated as ... well empty space would be better come to think of it. Regarding your match with the nearly as insignificant but at least a squire Coda, I think I speak for the entire 'pool when I say ... WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT! At some point, surely, a game will actually be played in which the relative merits, or more likely the lack thereof, of the two antagonists can be determined. In the meantime, Either FIGHT or SHUT UP! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: So, uh, how many points do you want to play anyway? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How the mighty have fallen!!! Initially full of himself, and rife with slings and arrows of outrageous commentary, only to end as a supplicant at my knees... Very well, I shall have to play the proper schoolmaster with you. Ready?!? Let's start with a nice round number like two. Now place a zero behind it and what do we have? Why yes! Twenty. Oh, I am so pleased with your mental capacity. Shall we try another? Yes, yes, you can do it. Concentrate now... you're beginning to sweat a bit... ah, wonderful, it is indeed two hundred. Let's try a third zero. Yes, I know it is difficult for someone like you Croda, but try. You're sweating again. I can see you're trying. Yes, I know, having a family with more hands and feet than teeth can be difficult. Come on, try. Try hard. Oh dear, your eyes are bugging out, and what is that horrible fetid smell coming from your direction? I believe that all this hard work has made you incontinent. And that vein on your forehead is pulsing, bulging outward... Oh God!! It's gonna blow!!!! Eeeeeeewwwww!! And I thought the waters of the pool were nasty... Very well, 2000 it is. And please, clean yourself up a bit before sending the setup. You look absolutely horrid. ------------------ I have challenged the QA team to a Bat-Leth contest. They shall not trouble us again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 HAHAHA! Dr. Agingretardo's pitiful forces are streaming back in a full retreat, as if they could outrun the hellfire and fury which pursues them!!! SCORE!!! Actually, no, I've seen neither hide nor hair of him. It's one of those games where I'm got the feeling he's about ten meters away, but damned if I'm gonna go in and find out. To paraphrase the wicked patient-molesting Doctor, this game will be long and sneaky, like Gene Simmons' tongue. Scrota, MoreArty! Where are my files?! ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Herr Go-berst-your-bubble : The mighty have not fallen, they were just taking a brief hiatus to accomplish what would have been very longwinded to accomplish via email. Seeing the difficulty that you are going to have even fathoming the complexity of the attack you're going to need to mount, I figured I'd let you make at least one decision regarding your fate. The next one you get to make is: run or die hiding. And Shaw, if it bothers you that Squires are your better, then go complain to Lorak and you can cry on each other's loathed shoulders. Seeing as you've got to be the bottom rung on the ladder of Cesspool ability (both tauntingly and tactically) I think it may behoove you to sit down, and shut up, and take a lesson from Oberst and I (not that Shandorfffffff character, he's a waste of an ovulation) about how to take large swings with the axe to cut down the tree, and not to use a butter knife to hack away as you like to do. When you have something of worth to contribute to the masses, let us know and we'll deliberate as to whether or not it meets standards. You've lost your touch old man. ------------------ "Nuts!" [This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 four words to all my pbem players <center><h3>I win over everyone!</h3></center> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Gosh, mensch, you're having one of your spells again! Now sit down before you fall out the window again and re-break your sphincter. That's a good boy. Now prepare to be topplemented. ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: Apparently, I have been instructed not to gloat, but why? Herr Oberst's troops seem to be perfecting Jesse Owen's speedy run by belting full tit for his edge of the map. Boys! You can't run any further, you'll fall off! I should try and catch up with them and inform them of the dangers of the map edge. He's been cheeky enough to rain down some largish artillery, forced one of my commanders back into his stuffy tank, o the cheek! PeterNZ <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The only cheeks you'll be seeing are those of my soldiers as they flaunt themselves at your impotent little machines of war. Come out and fight like a man, rather than playing hidey down in your little valley, you purveyor of hamstertude. IIRC, the VL locations are now split, and my boys captured the second on a short weekend romp, on their way to more important matters, like your Aunt Helga's birthday on the opposite side of the map. 'Tis a shame that they have to inform her of your upcoming demise at the hands of mon oncle Arty. See, he's just getting warmed up, and should rattle those cans quite nicely once he gets going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Seeing as you've got to be the bottom rung on the ladder of Cesspool ability (both tauntingly and tactically)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How would you know? From what I've seen so far all you can do is TALK! And talk and talk and talk and talk. You apparently need four full pages of back and forth drivel just to arrange a simple setup. The 'pool, my dear SQUIRE, is for MEN ... men of substance (except for Mace), men of character (except for Mace) and men of discernment (except ... you get the idea). It's not the quantity of posts, but rather the quality that counts. And had you perused the thread prior to it's self immolation you'd be overcome with remorse at your suggestion that my posts were either quantitatively or qualitatively less than worthy. You, newcomer that you are, are not worthy to lick the slime from the wall upon which the shadow of even a creature such as Geeks has fallen. A little respect for your betters is called for, though likely not to be forthcoming as you are too addlepated to understand the concept ... kids these days. As to the mewling cry for a game that issued from some insect who isn't even a squire ... in your dreams lad, in your dreams. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Herr Oberst, bluster will get you nowhere, like a syphalictic porn-star hanging onto some last thread of potence he boasts and shouts yet can't face facts. You're in trouble mate! My tin cans would be in trouble if they couldn't move, since they are both quite capable of moving I think we shall step out of that shower. I see you have some other stuff wandering around. Reminds me of watching a circus in which the tent is gone and the ringmaster is sitting drunk in one corner. Consider painting big red noses on your vehicles, at least we'd get a laugh before we finished them off. PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Alllllrighty then! How does one get a swim pass to this fetid pool of slime and goo? There must be some lackey pool boy that can point me the way. If this is what I need to do to trounce Joey in a PBEM then so be it. Ahhh.. then my dreams of you piously groveling at my feet will come true. Yes... that's it Joey.. lick my feet clean...I said LICK THEM CLEAN! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Jeff [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: four words to all my pbem players <center><h3>I win over everyone!</h3></center><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Mensch, we really need to work on your vocabulary... Now come up with a decent post you abberrant, bestial, cephalopodic, dog-smelling, effluent-sniffing, fart-biting, guano-licking, horn-headed, ill-tempered, jelly-kneed, koumiss-drinking, louse-eating, moronic, narcissistic, offal-cooking, pathetic, quince-munching, rat-nosed, synchophantic, tunnnel-dwelling, udder-sucking, vacuous, wimple-wearing, xenophobic, yellow-bellied zygote of a person. ------------------ I have challenged the QA team to a Bat-Leth contest. They shall not trouble us again. [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <center><h3>Croda you monkey butt muncher</h3> you move like a pregnent Yak and smell like one two I await your turn when I get home and will send it back asap. we shall see about who is high on thier horse.. not me no siree! WOHA this horse is big.. hey gerbilboy hand me my ladder will you.</center> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Mensch, we realy need to work on your vocabulary... Now come up with a decent post you abberrant, bestial, cephalopodic, dog-smelling, effluent-sniffing, fart-biting, guano-licking, horn-headed, ill-tempered, jelly-kneed, koumiss-drinking, louse-eating, moronic, narcissistic, offal-cooking, pathetic, quince-munching, rat-nosed, synchophantic, tunnnel-dwelling, udder-sucking, vacuous, wimple-wearing, xenophobic, yellow-bellied zygote of a person. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oberst, I know you put a lot of work into that, but for some reason or another, it didn't strike me as funny at all. Not really sure why. Just some constructive criticism. Why don't you rework it and post the edit. OH DAMN I'M SORRY!!! Joe Shaw told me not to post so much (as he shunned my obvious invitation to engagement and that of a potential Squire). I forgot! I'll go ask Steve to delete this post since it's cluttering up Joe Shaw's board. He who resuscitates us with his wonderful snipets of professional taunting. I am at your mercy, my liege! Kick not the Squire, you hurt him too much! ------------------ "Nuts!" [This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 my vocabolary get better when I steal... er no steal bad.. rob someone of dickshonary and Thesourass.... ook aak.. may you quack on my netanderal words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Oberst, I know you put a lot of work into that...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Twas nothing really, a momentary paroxysm of linguistic drivel. I agree that to walk through the alphabet like that was a bit much, but the poor boy needs words!!! And next time, you dolt, leave me out of your contemptuous, pathetic little argument between you and Shaw. You are not worthy enough to even quote my words. Is it not enough that I bestow them upon you in such lavish fashion, berating, dissecting, eviscerating with mere language! I quiver with glee to think of what shall happen to you when I have troops at my command. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: I quiver with glee to think of what shall happen to you when I have troops at my command. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> hmmm...quiver with glee. sounds like something a 14 year old boy would do. be careful around here if you're going to act like that. Peng like that kind of thing. ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 who stuck a toilet brush up Herr Orbsts bottom? my my me lad you feeble minded little peck, I pitty you and your happless attemt to rattle my nerves.. you have not, if anything my sweet little gotnobrainsinmehead Orbst you make me smile with a pity one holds when encountered with a armless, legless and headless street urchant.. here is a penny now leave me alone. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YK2 Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng: Uh, I'm not sure. Are you man, woman or beast? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nope, Yep, Most definitely. ------------------ Bananas is my business [This message has been edited by YK2 (edited 10-17-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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