BLSTK Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Add this to the list of things you now know about Canada: It takes more than a pair of Scots to match the wit of a single Canadian. You do the math. Robbie was wrong. I weep for the Scotland of the morrow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Springelkamp Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 2. And Golf, we invented that. Boom. So how come in the Middle Ages people in the Netherlands are playing 'Kolf', a game with a ball and a stick to hit the ball? Must be parallel evolution 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Now the Dutch. You have to be my favourite people of all time! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Belenko Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 I would venture a wild guess here.... This thread has been offically hijacked 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 crickets... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baneman Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 I would venture a wild guess here.... This thread has been offically hijacked Hehe, to be fair, it was weaving and skidding all over the place from inception. At least now it has a purpose ... Canadian bashing ( well, just the one ). Makes a nice change from Yank bashing actually, although they sound American anyway ) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 ...although they sound American anyway... It's true. Canadians used to have a fairly distinctive accent, now most of them (except the Francophones, who are just...weird) can't be distinguished from their USian brethren, at least by accent. They do tend to apologize a lot, as befits their station. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 @ Banesy and His Lovechild Emrys: Methinks neither of you have even set foot on Canadian soil, judging from your lack of awareness of anything beyond your own navels. The world is probably better off that way. As the French would say, "Cretins!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 For the purists among you, "cretin" is a uniquely French term. But you'll never hear a French-Canadian say it. Something about the physical distance separating France and its (not so former) colony, causing the language and its dialect to evolve in distinctly different ways. Damn, you'd almost think I'd spent 20 years teaching the language! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterH Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Ooooooogrgh. Lets sail around the world and find a nice uninhabited place to call "New Canada". We shall be better than the old Canada! Old Canada wouldn't let me bring friends over to dinner, and they wouldn't let me eat all the sausage and maple sauce I want, and they wouldn't let me eat chips gravy and cheese! So in my new and therefore better Canada all these things shall be free! Sorry We aren't trying to break up the UK, some of us are asking if that would be the right decision or not. I mean technically from a historical standpoint Scotland was a free nation so trying to become one again would be more "true Scottish", kinda. Please note I'm not saying independence is the right way to go, I shall not touch that debate for fear of combustion. Well seeing as Golf was apparently developed in Scotland around the same time period its a pretty murky area.. Oh and stop claiming that it was you guys who burned down the old White House, it was some English Marines! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 I suppose my ancestors could have stayed in Scotland. We could have spent the rest of our lives sitting in a cave, staring at a spider's web, regretting what might have been. But we chose instead to make something of our lives, to live for the future. To be a better version of those we left behind. Meanwhile in Scotland, you are either destined to live in the past or accept that your future is s*h*i*t*e. Take your pick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 I'm glad to see your part of The Ancient World has finally got Google. How else would you have known what "poutine" is? But I understand, your world is so very very small. It matches your worldview. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Since I also share English bloodlines, it is my privilege, nay duty, to educate the uncultured among you of my ancestors' influence on the White House Official (Exterior) Decorator. Let's just say there weren't too many colour schemes available to my American neighbours after Wee Brits got done with it. Bye the bye, nice attempt to deflect the real issue by dredging up (someone else's) past. Sounds like someone who has no future. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 The words "a historical" made me cringe. Otherwise, your use of the English language is impressive, considering it isn't your maternal tongue. Yep, we've come a long way. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Lest you think we inhabitants of The New and Improved World™ are lacking in gratitude, we must acknowlegde the role the Scots played in the Torching of The White House. We are, in fact, deeply indebted to the Scots for inventing fire.* * read Banesy's "History of all Tings Scotch or How Me Granpappy Invented Fire Waaaaaay Afore Guy Fawkes Was a Gleam in His Whiskey-Fuelled Father's Eye". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 "Grillons". Since Scotland now has "Google", it won't be long before you also have "Google Translate". Nay bother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baneman Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 ... Nay bother. Oh please. It's "Nae bother". It's clear why you were cast out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterH Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Someone is getting nasty..! No matter how hard you lot try, you shall never recreate Scottish Albion. We of the alcoholism, the Buckfast and the deep fried Mars Bar will forever be out of your reach. Alas for cruel lady fate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 We weren't "cast out" as much as we left of our own free will. You would be well advised to do the same, if you had any sense.* Do it, if only for the sake of the land of your birth. And for those who hold onto an unbridled** passion for a simpler time. -------------------------------------------------------------- *But then, there's sense...and then there's "horse sense". FWIW... "Nay Bother" is the name of my favourite (night)mare. You'd probably have to own a sense of humour to find it funny. ** At least Robbie would have understood the reference here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLSTK Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Now, "Away and pee!", the two of you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterH Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Your attempts at Scottish slang have not been any where near rude enough! Aff Ye F#*% ye daft c#@k guzzling s@#twit! Is more real. We are a people of colourful language, delicate symbolic gestures and very sensitive undertones. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Bawbag Yes, as a nation we named a Hurricane. We chose Bawbag. Rough translation is basically male genitalia. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Rough translation is basically male genitalia. Not surprising, coming from a race that considers a pig's bladder filled with oats the height of culinary excellence. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterH Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Not surprising, coming from a race that considers a pig's stomach filled with oats the height of culinary excellence. Michael There, fixed that for you. Its actually an incredibly tasty dish. There is an amazing set of cafe things in Edinburgh called "Oink" which basically sell roasted pork (no kidding, when you walk into the shop you can see the entire pig sitting in the window and watch them carve from it). One of the best sides you can have on your meat role is Haggis. Those two go together like sex. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baneman Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 ... coming from a race that considers a pig's stomach filled with oats the height of culinary excellence. ... Oats ? Are you sure you're eating the right thing ? I suppose there may be oats in it ( haven't actually noticed any ), but that's certainly not the focus Perhaps someone's played a cruel trick on you and fobbed you off with a vegetarian version. You poor man. ( why there even IS a vegetarian version whose purpose is to replicate a dish originally designed to use up meat leftovers makes my brain explode, but it does exist ). ...we left of our own free will. You would be well advised to do the same ... Do it, if only for the sake of the land of your birth. .... Quite how me leaving Scotland will help South Africa, I'm not entirely sure... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Quite how me leaving Scotland will help South Africa, I'm not entirely sure... Things connect in Blistex"s brain in peculiar (not to say loony) ways. He tends to babble on in a quite incoherent manner that has no discernible connection to the real world. Best to just ignore him and he eventually runs down and goes to sleep. Sort of like an infant. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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