Nestor

Any thoughts on this Evil one? If you're in agreement with the Gnome's moment of clarity, perhaps you could just let me know what the hours are, whether health insurance is included and then Imp a contract over to me for signing.

Was that a challenge or were you asking him for a date?? Sheesh, remind me to stay away from your "polite slappings." Ah, you’re one of the ‘hit it hard with a big blunt object and repeat ad infinitum’ school of taunting aren’t you Panzer Leader. You stand there buffing your bogged King Tiger to a nice shine whilst the other Poolers nip around in their light tanks firing nuanced and subtle barbs which fly way over your head. And you think: ‘missed me’. Imbecile. You are ‘slow turret’ personified. My ‘polite slappings’ just involve changing the fish every hour or so, other than that, they’re just as brutal as the errr..... brutal ones – I doubt you’d survive the Minnow.

<small>Ni</small> (can I call you <small>Ni</small>) Gaylord was last seen heading for his straw mattress on Saturday, having had a hissy fit about something and then got all emotional and blubby when he came back to apologise, citing lack of sleep. Persephone has sent him to bed for a month. This leaves me serfing for both Ladies of the Pool and believe me when I tell you that they take one hell of a lot of serfing. Since I seem to be doing everything else for Gaylord at the moment, I will see if I can fit you in for a Panzer slapping of some description should you wish it, but I couldn’t possibly manage this before Friday! Now, if there’s nothing else I must get back to Lady Emma’s knickers. She wants them all ironed before the end of the day – what strange twist of the evolutionary step-ladder decreed that women would be predisposed towards ironing underwear I wonder. Very strange. No Mace, you can’t ‘buy’ a few pairs.

Apologies, I got distracted slapping Leeo. The cellar seems a little empty - I think Panzer Leader has set himself up a little corner-shop somewhere with the contents. I have with me the last 2 cases of Chateau Peng from 1996, (that was the vintage which stripped the lettering off the label from inside the bottle, if you recall) a bottle of Lovage and of course, the Bubbly (which as a side note, always tastes like Marmite to me). Anything else Ladies? Would you like me to tidy up Mace before I do the Pool?

Leeo, Leeo, <small>Leeo</small>, here's the thing. If I were to regale the MBT with my prescence on a more regular basis, then a dolt such as yourself would be slapped around with a wet fish for doltishness more often. This would undoubtedly lower your morale and more importantly, be a waste of fish. I have no wish to upset you, or others like you, more than once a week or so and the dwindling of fish stocks is an important issue for the world we live in today. As a result, I ration my activity here. Do you see? No, of course you don't - never mind. <big><big>Wazzock!</big></big>

Good evening Ladies. Oh, please don't mind me, I've seen it all before. I was just heading down to the cellar for supplies, but for some reason I've forgotten what I was after. <small>Edited, because in my excitement, I forgot to bold properly!</small> [ October 05, 2002, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: Nestor ]

It's a great honour Lady/Dame Emma/YK2 to be singled out in such a way and recognising that I have no say in the matter, accept the ‘offer’. Before taking up my duties, I feel I should point out that I am a feckless, indolent fellow and as such more suited to knighthood than serfdom, but I guess we all have to start somewhere and I will give of my best when awake (usually about 6 or 7 hours a day). I don’t sing, but can muster a mean bongo solo upon request. One other thing M’lady, I think I can speak for Gaylord, (bolded because he’s feeling a little tired and emotional at the moment) but thankfully not like him, when I say that any move by yourself and Persephone to resurrect the ‘Pool Boy’ concept and the pink lycra shorts that accompanied it,will have us out on strike before you can say Yeknodathon – after all it is October. If you’ll excuse me Lady Emma I’m off now to watch the Blue Army attempt to silence Delia’s mob, but should you require anything, don’t hesitate to call.

Malapropski – Act 1, Scene 1 Seanachai: This new one interests me – I like a nice tanned philosopher. Berli: Yes he displays a certain amount of promise. Perhaps I’ll take him to the underworld and show him the real meaning of the word tanning. Seanachai: No, no, he should be left in the light with me where we can trade witty epithets and frolic incessantly. Berli: I’m afraid I’ll have to insist – dark-side it is. He’ll be happier there, more like home. Seanachai: (becoming agitated - belly reddening) I saw him first! Berli: (calmly, but with menace and his beard is starting to curl) I’m the Prince of darkness. Seanachai: (Jumping angrily, trying to reach Berli’s beard for a swing) This is just so unfair – you always do this. (Lights fade) Gentlemen, this is unseemly. A new arrival with a book-club bargain bundle of dictionary, thesaurus and quotations under his arm arrives at the door and a pair of Olde Ones immediately start fawning in his general direction, thus neutering the <big>SOD OFF!!</big> efforts of minor ‘poolers (which were, admittedly, pitiful). Get a grip!

It's not pink, it's 'salmon'. Who'd have thought that the East-German 'bunker chic' revival would be launched from such a cultural backwater. Nice! I assume the pink (ok, Radioactive Salmon) door is to assist the Bard's entrance to the building when drunk - the ground floor occupants being unable to tolerate his occasional late-night window entry to their abodes (and the puddles, howling and 'splatter' art that accompanied each visit) any longer. No, that can't be right, the windows are too high for Seniamoment aren't they.

Back off! I have a vegemite sandwich (actually it's vegemite on toast but same dif), and I'm not afraid to use it. Mace</font>

Seelöwe II</font>

Berli, I am ready for the fray, but unfortunately I will be fighting virtual CMBB for a wee while yet. So, unless your exalted position (are you still the Little Prince of Darkness, or is it the Ineffectual King of Corruption these days?) gives you some sway over the lackwits who have decreed that I shan’t have the game until October 4th, then you can have a couple more weeks to practice! Something early-war when the tanks were still shiny would be nice. [ September 23, 2002, 04:41 AM: Message edited by: Nestor ]

I recently painted my living room ceiling banana yellow and the walls a kind of battleship grey. This produced a curious phenomenon in a member of the fairer sex, who whirled round in astonishment until complete befuddlement set in. at this point she collapsed on to my sheepskin rug, writhing around and giggling uncontrollably. So, anyway, I’ve had to stop inviting my mother round for the moment, but I mention it here in case this is the effect you were after. Of course, if any Ladies of the Pool wish to pop round for a cup of tea and a crumpet they’re more than welcome. My door is always open and my rug is always groomed.

One day, I was really, really, really bored (a day not unlike today) and I went through checking quite a few user profiles. I was staggered to find that Slapdragon has posted 5942 times (at present). I'm staggered because most of his posts are more War & Peace than The Great Gatsby! I seem to remember there was somebody else with 6000+, but I can't remember who. So, sorry Michael but you're not quite top of the pile. I know, I should really get a life!

I had a CDV newsletter e-mailed to me the other day and it said that CMBB would be released 'in October', but it didn't say the precise date. I'm not sure whether this referred to the UK specifically, or Europe as a whole.

And while on the subject of vermin, it's Nesting Let's all give our special MBT welcome to Nesting! .........SOD OFF!! Mace</font>

Thanks for dropping in, Wererabbit, but this place is currently infested with mixamotosis and calicivirus...very dangerous for wee bunnies like yourself. Bye! Mace</font>

For breakfast? Isn't it time you came out of the woods and started eating Cheerios like the rest of us!

Reports from around the grounds: Well, Alcatheter and I have kicked off in a QB which can only be described as piffle. There aren’t enough trees and it will involve us running to the top of a hill and engaging in fisticuffs before one of us skips home across open ground. Did I mention that there aren’t enough trees? Did I mention that I’m responsible for this monstrosity? Nestor, you tosser! Elsewhere, I am engaged in a fight to the death in Rees-am-Rhein with a nice lawyer from Texas. No, not Merespanker – please read the previous sentence more closely: Texas – check, lawyer – check, nice – ah! I mention this here only because I believe the scenario in question is a Burly ‘special’ and respect is due to the youngster. Were you toying with one of those puzzles that has lots of square blocks to be shuffled into the right sequence and only one empty space when you did it? I can see now that at the end, he’ll have my flags, I’ll have his and we’ll have to start all over again. You, sir, are ‘special’. Can self-taunting make you blind?

I wouldn't recommend scouting in a sheep costume here, although I think Mace is probably asleep at the moment.

(Consults legal document I have to post this (GUNS) from the General forum) Hmmmmmmmm.......on your porch.......using harsh language.......I think you'd have been within your rights to shoot him! Or, alternatively, bore him to death with a debate on the lethality v stopping power question. Where's Slopdragoon when you need him.

Careful, you'll break a nail. Or are they extensions? And don't even think of going for me with those 6 inch stilettos of yours - they're banned by international treaty.

Mike-you-plagiarist, how dare you use my ‘SSN’s are the life-force of the pool’ argument. Ok, so I stole it myself last week and it has no doubt been used as an entrance strategy by many a newbie in the past, but <big><big> that’s not the point!</big></big> Come over here, that I may chastise you with Panzers and for god’s sake change out of those blush pink hotpants that Roxy gave you beforehand. In the ‘olde country’ we still maintain certain standards of decorum!

You shall have one Alkatheta. Any preferences on pitch size, kit colour and formation? If it’s alright with you we’ll play Fiona’s 1815 rules: · The French are there to be toyed with, not played with. · Everybody forms a group hug thingy at the first hint of a whinny from a nearby field. · No Yanks. · The Germans turn up late (turn 25, following the afternoon tea break). Highfields is for girls. The brave man ventures into Eyres Monsell after dark. They eat tyres up there!

Back in the day (Friday, if I remember right) I severely offended CampLayer, mistaking his innefectual spleen venting as that of a 12 year old with his first dictionary and a pocket-sized book of useful insults rather than the Knight of the pool he is. For this I offer unreserved apologies – as Seniamoment said earlier, this is a strange and confusing place for us SSN’s. I note though that the fish-fancier Alkatheta didn’t turn up to defend CampLayer’s honour, as requested and was wondering whether this was a breach of pool ettiquette that requires punishment of some kind. Or is mercy being shown in recognition of the depression caused to Alkatheta by the Ramming his woeful Mariners took on Saturday? Before he responds with a Tractor Boys running over Foxes comment, I’ll make it first.