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Boo Radley

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Posts posted by Boo Radley

    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

    noba you will never get into who's whotry applying to join what's that

    {dripping sarcasm}Wow! A veritable hit sir! You have confounded us with the lancet like thrusts of your prodigious wit!{/dripping sarcasm}

    This is the kind of guy who plays Russian Roulette with an automatic.

    But only once.

    Which part of SOD OFF don't you understand? The OFF, or the SOD?

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

    If giving up coffee and cigarettes wasn't enough... Had a doctor's appointment today. I am now on the If It Tastes Good, Spit It Out diet. Life can't get any worse

    Yep, know exactly where you are. They tell you that if you give up caffeine, cigs, dairy, red meat, fatty foods and alcohol, you'll live another ten years. To which I say, it'll only seem like ten years.

    Plus they never tell you that those alleged 10 years are tacked onto the ass-end of your life when you're some rheumy-eyed, toothless gammer who doesn't know his own name and constantly mutters, "The Kaiser's trying to steal my string." and other witticisms.

    "What a drag it is to get old." Indeed.

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

    crodaslittle wooden head is on the right of the picture!

    Who is this Slimy Elbow who dares to speak of my liege lord Croda The Cantankerous in such a manner. Come out and say that again you refugee from a Lilith Fair Concert. You sheep's clone, you thinly moustached poseur, you who consider Shemp to be the funniest Stooge, I double-dog dare you to come back here and have it out with me. You reprobate! Upon your birth, your parents tried to sell you to carny folk, but the carny's standards were too high. You fey dandy with the concave codpiece, SOD OFF!!!

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Croda:

    Now, Squire, make me a dessert out of your opponents' livers.

    Liege

    Yes, my liege. Immediately my liege. But...if I may oh cruel one...liver??? I mean, gag me with a back hoe.

    Wouldn't you rather I bop on down to the local Dairy Mart and get you the April issue of Clog Dancer Monthly and a Dove bar?

    (Amusing aside: Don't you just love clog dancing? It reminds me of hillbilly tap dancing on amphetamines. Wow!)

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    It’s Monday morning again.

    Not only that, but it's Monday morning in the middle of a snowstorm.

    I sit and look out the door at the amorphous lumps that are snow covered cars. Women trudging by in long cloth coats, heavy black boots and babushkas. It resembles Moscow during the Kruschev years. Not a pretty sight. I remember how we'd laugh when we called him "the big, grey baby". But we're not laughing now. Now we're staring at the snow, wondering when it might end.

    Should I venture out? Does my need for Take-out outweigh my desire for warmth and safety? My office is a womb. A womb with a view.

    I have decided.

    I will spend the afternoon with wet sneakers. I will scrape off my car and I will look the morons who have forgotten how to drive in snow over the last two weeks and say, "Stay in your own lane, butthead! Turn on your headlights, Braniac, or I'll grind your bones to make my bread!!!"

    My reward will be one, no, TWO eggrolls.

    Nos morituri mortem salutamus ave!

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Our story so far...

    It appears Yeknodathon or Donkeython or Brit-Git or whatever his name is, is finally back from vacation, or as they say in the UK, holiday. The first move in our game has been sent off. Everything seems to be going swimmingly in the dog's breakfast that was dreamed up for us except no one's told me how to get off the damn mountain!

    Shlock Monkey appears to be trying and end run around my right flank with his Ignernt 'Mericans, but I have a little surprise cooked up for him. (I have figured out how to add code to introduce a line of Vegas showgirls into the game and as they distract his men, I will stomp on him with my jackbooted thugs.)

    Ozymandias Jeff (Look upon my works oh ye mighty, point and laugh)and his feeble Volksgummers are busy tripping over their own walkers out there in the dark. They missed their "early bird" suppers and it's WAY past their bedtimes. They're cranky and they want their jello! How sad.

    And that's the name of that tune.

    Tune in tomorrow. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Well, I imagine it's difficult for them to fight their way through a sea of empty, crushed Foster's cans to find their way to the keyboard. And they're so easily distracted. A bright, shiny piece of tinfoil, a rainbow in the spilled beer puddle on the hard packed dirt floor of the living room. Perhaps a herd of sheep outside the window facilitates a romantic revery. These are a simple folk...sort of like "Ma & Pa Kettle Go Slumming." Perhaps as if the Walton's had been a bit more inbred.

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by AussieJeff

    So, <SMALL><SMALL>Boo-hoo.<BIG><BIG>You didn't indicate in your profile (how does a ghost cast a profile anyway?) that you are a *gag* Psychoatrist did you? Tell us, what sort of simple complex does hiding your REAL occupation relate to?

    How about extending your mind to do a bit of analysis for the venerable PENG. He's feeling a little depressed and may need your worthwhile assistants as we speak.

    Otherwise, back to the couch for you then, to ponder this:

    "A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as you are toss'd with."

    AJ

    SOB

    Wow. This guy is good. All I can say is that he must sit up alone, late at night with an I.V. full of Jolt Cola in his arm dreaming this stuff up.

    You know AussieJeff (and I use your real name out of the untold respect I hold you in, and I ended that sentence fragment with a preposition so I give myself -5 pts. off), if you're ever in the states, I really want you to drop by. I've got something real special planned for you. Ever see the movie, "Fargo"? Well ... I don't have a wood chipper, but I do have a coffee grinder and a lot of patience.

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by AussieJeff:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    Transmission begins

    Fzzzz...attt......pop...

    Transmission ends

    Go figure.

    AJ

    SOB

    -------------------------

    Ah yes, another wry half-witticism by our own Flossing Mess. You are a person (alleged) who defies categorization. Do you make me actively nauseaus or just headachey and a little sad? I'm curious, do you find yourself explaining everything around you to yourself out loud? "I like toaster waffles, so I'm going to make some for myself right now." It's OK, Sparky, so you're a few fries short of a happy meal. So what? Embrace your inner idiot and let go!

    <FONT COLOR = WHITE><SMALL>

    "The universe strives for balance in all things. Take Australia...please.

    <FONT COLOR = BLACK>

    Boo_Radley<BIG></font>

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    I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Transmission begins

    CRODABURG aka "No Fun For The Whole Family" Has ground to a halt as I haven't received any moves for the last two days. The ever-neat, R_Leete is MIA.

    My battle with old YEKNODATHON of the pendulous ears likewise has moved about as far as a 1976 Bondo covered Pinto station wagon that's up on blocks in the front yard of some Okie who's several payments behind on his double-wide.

    I see by my e-mail that I just got a message from Sock Monkey. I'd almost forgotten I was playing him.

    I've just sent along a set-up to the dastardly sNOw-BAll . Let's see if his close-fisted bangings translate into anything that makes sense.

    Finally, I've just begun a little to-do with Flustered Jeff. It seems that the his set-ups form a gestalt of his miserable existance: green troops stumbling around in the dead of night. Sound familiar to anyone who's ever played him? I say we have the poor man committed before he harms anyone else.

    I'm off tomorrow to visit the parental units. Try to clean up after yourselves.

    Transmission ends

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by AussieJeff:

    Boo-Radley MIA: Another faint-heart it seems. Faced with endless hordes of Volksturm Green Truppen, appears to have gone into cardiac shock. Tap, tap.....

    AJ

    SOB

    <FONT COLOR = WHITE><SMALL>"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."

    Marty Feldman.[/QB]

    Back up there Ossified Jeff. You got your file back within 24 hrs. I would have had it back sooner, but I had to fumigate the computer after opening it. I don't know what sick, perverted, Fellini-like nightmare you've been forced to live down at the G'day Mate! Home For The Chronically Damp And Demoralized , but I'd appreciate it if you would endeavor to work it out with some kind of approved institutional therapy. Have you considered dealing with your latent Oedipal issues by putting on your own little Greek play with finger puppets?

    All I can say is that I hope you washed your hands in hot, soapy water after you devised this little pas de deux.

    Well, at least if you're occupied here you aren't out clubbing baby harp seals, so it's a small blessing.

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Croda:

    What have I leared?

    My squire has no bile on Fridays.

    I'm away in scenic Massachusetts for the weekend (got my High School reunion tomorrow night ya'know) and won't return a thing until Sunday night at earliest.

    A thousand pardons M'Lud, but I was expending my bile on several recalcitrant coworkers. That and the fact that my other liege (the one who actually PAYS me) had me confused with some type of circus poodle. Why else would he require me to jump through so many flaming hoops?

    Oh, and about your trip this weekend. I must say, I think it's very cute. I was unaware that reform schools had reunions.

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by AussieJeff:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    Here. <SMALL><SMALL>I.</SMALL></SMALL> Am.

    Oh really? You mean, you actually EXIST??? I thought <SMALL><SMALL>you</SMALL></SMALL> were just a disfigurement of Croda's lurid imagination. Well, go figger.

    <SMALL><SMALL>You</SMALL></SMALL> will receive a horrific, evil setup ensuring your untimely demise when <BIG><BIG><BIG>I</BIG></BIG></BIG> get the time. Probably in a millenium or two. Until then, SOD ORF!

    AussieJeff

    Official SOB (Squire of Berli)

    --------------------

    The number of medals on Boo-Hoo's breast varies in inverse proportion to the square of the distance of his personage from the front line.

    --AussieJeff--</font>

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Noba:

    BooAddley spake thus,

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />He sure talks big for a guy who was probably conceived in the backseat of a clown car.

    Those Mormon's sure have a lot to answer for...

    Damn birth records have everything on them.

    Now, my friend.... so as not to waste your life on going to the doctor to get the callouses on your hands bandaged every day, send a set up.

    QB 1500 points meeting will be fine, your choice the rest.

    Noba.</font>

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by AussieJeff:

    Dear Mr Cruda,

    Unfortunately for your rabidself, as a return gesture of goodwill I have BELCHED FIRE FROM MY ARSE and incinerated the poor PiZzleIVH and Tiggywiggy <BIG>YOU</BIG> had parked <BIG>ON TOP OF THE HILLS AS WELL!!</BIG>.

    Accordingly, <BIG>YOU</BIG> Mr Cruda are now (2) two tanks less, thank you very much!!

    Kindest regards and best of luck for your remaining <FONT COLOR = YELLOW>troppotruppen<FONT COLOR = BLACK>,

    <FONT COLOR = GREEN>AussieJeff<FONT COLOR = BLACK>

    <FONT COLOR = RED>SOD (Squire of Berli)<FONT COLOR = BLACK>[/QB]

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Noba:

    Boobaby is almost getting the drivel award for the number of posts containing nothing, like his skull.

    Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, so very, very, very, very sorry, My Great and Gracious Lord. Never meant to offend, but being a lowly newbie fresh as a daisy from the outer boards, I was blissfully unaware of the subtle intonations of the three or four in-jokes that bounce perpetually around the 'pool and so thought to add my two cents.{NOBA can't read this}Big, sodding dork. If he thinks I prattle on now, just wait. He sure talks big for a guy who was probably conceived in the backseat of a clown car.{/NOBA can't read this}

    Sorry, sorry, sorry. Please forgive this slime encrusted lickspittle of a Squire. It will never happen again, of that you may rest assured!

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Begin transmission:

    CRODABURG The Unquenchable.

    Move six;

    Have lost 7 tanks of various types and a few trucks. Three of my AT gun squads are gibbering in their foxholes and several squads have drowned in their baptism of fire AND THE HITS KEEP HAPPENIN'!

    On the flip side, R_Leete of the dancin' feet has managed to lose 4 pillboxes, 2 bunkers and 4 AT guns. On top of that, several of his machine gun nests have had very large eggs dropped on them.

    I just know he has a terrible surprise in store for me when I get to the top of the plateau. How? Because he said, "I have a terrible surprise waiting for you at the top of the plateau." Except he didn't say "plateau". I said that to dress it up a bit.

    :Transmission ends

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Berli and Goanna,

    Received the set-up and just wanted to say thank you so very, very, very, very, very bloody much. Looking over my troops, I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have neglected to give me any poodles. I also don't see any telemarketers or rodeo clowns. I only hope that you were as generous with my adversary as you were to me. If that is indeed the case, then I imagine I shall be fighting against mimes and the traveling roadshow cast of "Pump Boys and Dinettes".

    So once again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

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