Hanns

Originally posted by TurkishBathHouseBoy since I'm the only "nobody" with brass cajones in here right now, who the feck am I supposed to challenge 'o wise one? Bring it on 'Turkboy! As I seem to be a bottom feeding SSN I see it as my sovereign duty to kick the phallically implanted genetic material out of TurkishBathHouseBoy in a battle chosen by my betters. If one of greater stature and experience would send a suitably insulting setup for me to uhh... wipe bathboy with I'd be ecstatic. Bathboy needs to be taught a lesson in pain and suffering and I know the perfumed and ensconced Kniggets of the MBT would never dare bow so low as to bitch smack this self proclaimed bathboy. I humbly offer up my services in placing my steel shod jackboot upon his boney throat and holding it under the surface of the 'Cess long enough for him to repent in the errors of his ways (and SOD OFF while he's at it). Grant me this boon and allow my unfettered hatred to manifest. Hanns

For the entertainment pleasure of the Olde Ones I am trying to arrange the presence of young, nubile St. Catherine's Catholic (all girl) College to be there. At least two for sure, hopefully more if Sasha can woo them with her ambiguous sexual proclivities. I must warn you however that Wednesday night at Glüek's is [shudder] Kara-krap-oke [/shudder] night. I'll endeavor to bring some amusing tunes with such as the Skatenigs "Chemical Imbalance". Kinda fitting methinks. I sincerely do hope that large amounts of beer served in 1 litre quantities combined with the odd shot and offset by the presence of young women will mitigate the horror of badly sung craptastic pop songs. I'll be the really big guy in black with the attractive Russian blonde next to me. See ya there! Hanns

Feh, bloody Hell, damn the bollocks and charge man abreast with the pudding. I'm trapped at work while the sodden Olde Ones seem to be more inebriated than normal. I'd offer my services of 83z) guide and interpreter x14B) valet, purveyor of alcohol/women (or even better women with alcohol in them) ~sd3) knower of late night eats and grubbage locales G/|\1) target for insults and abuse (that is until the liquid courage wears off and they realize I'm bigger than they are and really am evil ) and lastly CM:BO) for a few games of the tie that binds us (no, not that tie you gits, Combat Mission. Get your minds out of the gutter and into the sewer where they belong) Unfortunately I'm stuck at work until midnight. If the Olde Ones have a constitution for such late night pursuits (and it's not past their bedtimes) I offer food (Litte Tijuana's is open till 0230), alcohol (from my personnal stash: 1 case Glüeks bier, 1 bottle Russian vodka, 1 bottle Jägermeister and other assorted vitriolic liquors. I can also contact my buddy who works at a liquor store if needed) and if those damned Scando-land city forefathers weren't so tight-lederhosened a night on the town (feh, bars close at midnight on Sunday, bah). If thou are willing I will endeavor to meet thee at a arranged location. If thou wish to contact me look up my last name (available in my email address) cross referenced with my full name (Johannes, Hanns for short 'natch). Give me a ring and it'll forward to my cellphone (Qworst rocks dude!) Hanns

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Colonel_Deadmarsh: [QB]I have been lobbying for this change since the first day CM came out. I really think we need an "unlimed" option [QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How does this option work? Does it get rid of all British troops in the scenario? Or just make them into Canadians or maybe Australians? If you used the "unlimeyed" option with Green troops would they be Kiwis? Wait as sec, never mind. I guess it's a typo or somefink Hanns

Originally posted by Seanachai Actually, isn't Donovan's over on Hennepin? The Local has an incedible selection of Scotch (no not that OGSF pillock, the good stuff) that reads like a dictionary. One of my friends used to bartend there but quit recently. Feh, paying regular price for drinks. Although Brit's Pub has a nice selection of UK beers and a bevy of attractive women, the food is typically British (e.g. crap). Nothing like boiled pees to ruin an imperial pint of Guinness. The only thing I can remember about Donnavan's is a drink called the "Dirty Girlscout". Note that it does not contain girls or scouts (nor Scots for that matter) but has Bailey's, Creme de Menth and Goldschlager I believe. It's been a while but they tasted good at the time. Glüeks is the oldest bar in Minneapolis and has excellant beer (litres of Glüeks Dark are something like $2.50 during Happy Hour). Combine that with the unusual food menu selection (Mmmmm..... Chicken Diablo with Portabello mushrooms and Habenero chipolte mayonnaise) or the deepfried Reuben eggrolls. Lyons Pub has a decent selection of beer, the food is good and I happen to know almost everyone that works there. I still know a few people at First Ave. but it's gone downhill in the past couple of years (Salsa Night anyone?). Other than that there is the Smiling Moose in uptown along with The Black Forest and Little Tijuana's. Aquavit in the Crystal Court downtown has great afterwork drink specials and the 8th St. Grill has decent prices and buffalo burgers. Sorry to sound like a City Pages bar guide but I do live in downtown and know it quite well. Since the Olde and Incontinent Ones sound like they prefer spoon feedings and nap time to actually having fun I won't mention the obvious. Maybe they'd enjoy Boom!, I heard they cater to the sophistication and pamperign that they are used to. Ever yours in Bastardom, Hanns

What lackwit hath stirred forth such a roiling ****storm upon the turbid waters of the Cesspool? It's........... CopperChiefShiitake!! Upon reflection it is my belief that if your Ginzu knife is as dull as your wit than seppukku is strongly suggested. Nice slow sawing motions, that's a boy. If however said Ginzu knife is sharper than your wit (a ballbearing is likely more sharp than your wit no doubts) then circumcision starting at the 3rd vertabrae by a shaky handed Alzheimer patient ( Seanachai come to mind but that's redundant isn't it?) is most preferred by all here. Perhaps if ignored long enough this git will reach puberty and discover the joys of cross dressing, gerbils and dead fish with large, inviting lips. Maybe he'll fall into a canal or somefink and attempt to argue with it thus saving us from his inane ramblings. Hanns

I have returned after facing the most gamey of opponents of excessive overtime and sleep deprivation (and Joe Shaw , sodd off, I'm officially challenging the brazen, self proclaimed nightsoil gathering eta SnapBrasseieren to a game). Thusly, Sloppygroggin' thou bilious, blathering grognite stand fast afore I am forced to nail your tineal malformed pseudopods to such floor as the 'Cess provides. I will neither throw down my gauntlet for fear of losing it in this murky 'Cess nor strike you with it as it would be akin to gilding the paper upon which one whipes his arse. Your groggy vocal ejaculations fair as poorly as stillborn maggots upon the foul corpse of your bloated intellect. That one such as thee is permitted to pollute and despoil the virgin minds of college plebians is a testament not to the level of which the 'Merican Edumucation system has fallen but the bryozoan lack of spine shown by the bloated and bureaucratically incestuous Teachers Union that plague this country. Instead of tenure I suggest you seek a remittance of manure as it more closely resembles that which you purportedly proffer. When you reply to this missive I enthusiastically suggest you learn to snip your quotes (as surely as your purported wife wishes that you would snip the shriveled fruits of your, ahem manly weed). Sir Lars I would beseech thee to render or pilfer a suitable match for myself and that bastidge Snapdanglin' so that we may determine how much of a loser Snappy is. Seanachai suggested that I challenge thee, but I fear that I may only rise above my station with a suitable pile of corpses beneath me. I wait with baited uhh... hooks for a set-up with which to crush the blasphemous "ronin" SSN. Hanns

I can see it now....... "President Truman sir. Those gamey Russians are making a last minute flag rush towards Berlin" "Dammit, Ike! How many points do we left to spend on Elite .50 cal Jeeps? If we spend all our points on Elite Jeeps and hug the Atlantic coast we'll capture those darned victory flags before those Red bastards do."

Let me re-iterate for those who don't seem to understand. I am not challenging Seanachai or Peng or anyone besides another SSN like myself to a CM:BO game. I am challenging them to meet me at a bar where I have offered to buy them drinks and watch the show AM I FECKIN' CLEAR! I understand my status in the Cesspool (e.g. none) well enough not to challenge my superiors. If there any SSNs I will most willingly stomp them a new @-hole with whatever set-up a third party sends me. Since the only other SSN other than myself seems to be Flabgroggin' I find the field rather narrow. Deadhead Red seems to be MIA and therefor not a target at this time. Oh, and BTW Berlichtingen everyone knows that the 'net only contains factual information and accurate reviews. If you're too lazy to walk to the bar to get a drink then you don't deserve one. Ground Zero is a mellow place if you're not a puritanical bible-thumper. I believed there might be others here who enjoyed something different. Perhaps I was mistaken. Hanns [ 10-08-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]

A solitary figure emerges from the ever present fog that shrouds the Cesspool. His measured cadence through the muck strikes like a triphammer upon the skull of a fresh coprse. Bits of 'Cess rise to the surface and lazily turn in eddies caused by his wake. A once mighty temple rises from the miasma, cloaked in gloom and withered vines whose rustling of leaves portend things to come. Before him rise the steps to the ancient ruin, worn concave by the passage of countless feet. The lone figure carefully makes his way up the steps avoiding bloated bits of 'Cess that slide of his legs like a rain of fetid lemmings. Upon the summit of this mount stand two solitary figures garbed in hooded robes that obfuscate their identity. Almost unnoticed are the supine forms ringed about the two, kowtowing their medulas upon exposed sacrum in a preceived effort to achieve rectal-cranial inversion Solitary Figure I have come to thee, offering up a challenge. What have you to say for yourselves? Robed Figure One Well, I've heard that Ground Zero place is mighty scary. I'd come and check it out if I didn't have to get the mini-van fixed and take the kids to soccer practice. Plus the wifey gets mighty vexxed if I go places without her. She's afraid I might look at other women or somefink. I might get all hot and bothered, come home and try to get randy with her. That just wouldn't do at all. Besides Thursday night is when all the good shows are on CBS and I wouldn't dare miss them. With these utterances the fabric of reality goes pale and through it is glimpsed a bland office cubicle where mindless drones toil away answering phones for their faceless masters Robed Figure Two This Ground Zero bar intrigues me. [sotto voce] Are there gay men there? I don't like fancy boys because I find myself strangely attracted to them [/sotto voce] My friend says we'll be mighty busy going to fabulous places like the Mall of America and a walking tour of St. Paul to see all the Snoopy statues. I think we'd be far to busy to check out a place like that. Again the pale of reality fades to be replaced with a dimly lit basement room with shag carpeting and 70's era wood paneling. A computer provides the only illumination and a dog eared June 1986 copy of "Hot Male Tushy" is carefully tucked behind the monitor Solitary Figure Let all gathered here be witness that a challenge was made! The Fear that knaws in your bellies is the lack of immoral fortitude that I had expected to see when I came to this place. You simper like beaten dogs, scared that you master will come home and take notice of you. If you had spines you would try to hide behind them. A great lesson might be learned by you from the noble cockroach. It knows it is inferior to other beings but will hiss mightily before being stepped on. You however do not even show this bit of courage. I say again, are any here willing to travel with me on my weekly sojourn into the pits of Hell? Feh, I leave you like the digested remnants of a White Castle 30 pack, laying there becoming more wholesome with age. Are there none that would stand tall at my side, unbowed by morality and willing to slake their bloodlust in debauchery? For when the day comes that we who are legion storm the gates of heaven I shall remember thee. Cowards not fit to be ground to dust by the steel shod wheels of my Sturmhamster chariot. If by some peculiarity you awake one morning and find that you suddenly have a pair then you only need call out my name (or email me, whatever) and I shall answer thee. exeunt Hanns

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus: Where are Hanns and Mistress Jean when you need them?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You called for me? Sorry 'bout the long delay m'lord. I was down in the dungeon checking on who was still amongst the living and who was to be dinner. I almost missed your call due to the prattlings of another SSN (Crapnoggin or somefink) who dares defile the MBT with his pretentious groggy blatherings. I also found a latex fist, appears to have been used, if anyone is interested. The point of this ridiculous post is that well upon a fortnight ago I offered up a invitation to certain prominent members (he-he I said members) of this board to join me at a local (well local if you live in Minneapolis) den of inequity known to the neighbors as Satan's Pit or as the sign above the door says: Ground Zero. It was in the spirit MBT a Challenge of sorts to which a suitable retort has not been offered. I offered my services with the benfits of 1) getting them in for free 2) me buying them a drink or two and finally 3) introducing them to the evil and delightful Mistress Jean of www.MistressJean.net It appears that my offer has not been ignored but merely passed on to others. The offer is still standing and I suppose I could broaden it others in the Metro area. To the original recipients of the missive I am still waiting for a response whether it be here in the 'Pool or email lest I am forced to out you as it were. To those who are otherwise interested Ground Zero is the local BDSM club in town. Merely the tip of the iceburg as it were in regards to the underground scene but as valid an entry into Hell as another other. I shall spending the remainder of the evening (when I get done with work) there consuming thoroughly alcoholic drinks (at a most reasonable price I might add), watching the "show" and commiserating with my Favorite Lesbians. One last thing, are there any SSN left for me to kick around? If any Knigget has some unworthy moldering pile of dung that has somehow evolved into a lifeform of greater complexity than the aforementioned Crapnoggin I would be willing, nay eager to stomp them a new arsehole with the steel shod hooves of damnation. Send the appropriate means for their destruction and I shall revel in the pain and gnashing of teeth, the sickly sweet taste of blood mixed with fear and my knee bent not to my own selfish desires. Hanns

I was wondering how prevelant (if it even existed. I've been at work for 15 hours, have 3 to go and don't have any source material with me) concentina wire was in WWII combat situations? Reason being I haven't been to impressed with the wire mods out there and have been screwing around with a concentina wire mod. Anyone have some good pics they could email me? If I'm feeling really bored when I finish it I could add bloodied, mangled bits hanging from the wire for mg42bunny Hanns

I think one thing that would help this test, especially with the shot dispersion would be to use the grid overlay grass. That way it would be a lot easier to determine the amount of scatter with a reasonable approximation of distances. How the CM range tests compare to Rexford's data would be very interesting.

I used the cease fire option in a QB against the computer last night. Vet Germans vs Vet. British engineers in a 800 point defence. I managed to defeat the primary attack destoying a Sherman II with my StuGIII and KOing 4 White Scout cars with my 75mm IG. After the main assault my two platoons of Mot. Inf. had used most if not all of their ammo, my IG was down to a few smoke rounds, my 75mm Pak had only AP, my two HT were completedly out of ammo and I had just lost my out of ammo StuG to a lucky PIAT shell. I was in a good defensive position but had no resources left to attack the scattered but still funtional Brits. I called for a cease fire and ended up winning 84 to 14. Not bad as I had no resources left to counter another attack much less press my admittedly small advantage. Worked well for me I guess. Hanns

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Note- I just got out of ceramics class, which may explain why I'm being too creative for my own good.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wow.....dude....that's....like...a...nice...pipe.....you.....made.....there.....man.....Can....I......try.....it.....out.....dude.....

Exactly! I was under the impression from various sources I've read (at work right now, don't have access to them) that the assistant gunner for a MG42 (or MG34) would usually be armed with either a MP38 or MP40 to discourage "gamey" rushes against the MG Also with a HMG42 unit the other 4 members of the unit should have a few K98s and a SMG or two. I believe that the crew served weapon crews were not given secondary weapons due to the coding problems it would have caused (LMG42 unit with 13 ammo points for the MG42 and 25 ammo units for the SMGs might be kind of hard to code esp. since CM doesn't model individual soldiers. Maybe CMIII/IV when individual soldiers, amount of ammo carried, quantity and type of food, amount of water in canteens, number of condoms et al. are modelled then we'll see ammo for individual weapons ) Hanns

I agree with Herr Hofbauer. I like longer time limits even if the battle itself has played out before then. This prevents historically unrealistic actions such as flag rushes and the like. I dislike being forced to show my hand or make rash decisions because an artificial "game clock" is counting down. How many WWII comanders said "Dammit Jones, you're platoon needs to capture that crossroads by 12:10 or we've lost." "But sir, we've only got 10 men left and Jerry's got over a company of reserves left!" "Not to worry, you only have to hold it until 12:10, after that it's time for tea and crumpets my lad." I'd rather lose a battle due to not taking the victory location but still have a majority of my troops alive and functional than win one while losing 75% of my troops just trying to take the flags. FWIW, Hanns

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tss: discussion on ROF of British 25 lbrs. (Though, IIRC, Finland had few batteries of them in use)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, bloody Hell! I can just see a new thread now. What is the maximum rate of fire for the 25pdr? To which somewill will reply British or Finnish??

Not sure if the CM engine would work well for Battletech. I can just see it now "WTF!??!! Waddya mean my AC/20 shell ricocheted off that Locust!! BTS please fix or do somefink" Besides, does Rexford et al. have the penetration tables for a 200mm autocannon shell against 100mm of Clan ferro-fibrous armor. Thought not..... hehe

What terrain are you running it on? Roads, concrete, open fields? I seem to remember sometime (and some versions ago) that wheeled vehicle speed over non-road/paved terrain was being lowered. I've taken my Jeep (heavily modified and much better than the WWII models) over a relatively smooth field at about 45mph and it damn near rattled my fillings out. I've also drove a tracked vehicle (M2A2 and M113) over similiar terrain and it was not nearly as bone jarring. FWIW, Hanns

You might want to save those for the future when BTS comes out with CM:XXVI "Look, ever feckin' thing moves and is modelled. Are you guys happy now??" to which some grog will complain that the individual shells ejecting from a MG42 are infact .303 Brit not 8mm Mauser Hanns

Man, looking at those T-34 turrets. Is that a shot trap right into the turret bezel ring or what? Are we going to be seeing "Turret ricochet, bezel ring damaged. Turret immobilized"

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: [QB] 1) What was the name of the Magician that worked in the desert campaigns as a camoflauge expert? QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sigfried & Roy??????? forgot to add the smiley [ 09-19-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]

I'm still jonesing for a Fernando Hi-res Hetzer After downloading his SPW and PzIV mods I'm hooked..... need more mods!

BTS, fix or do somefink!