Hanns

Great post Rexford! I'm assuming that a thin rear plate would also stop or minimize spalling from cast armor. Would this be correct? Also not sure if you caught the thread on the Tiger I restoration. It's got some great pics of the total tear down and rebuild. I'd be interested to know if when they tore it down to it's base components if anyone did some detailed measurements on such things as the turret and glacis thickness. Not sure a museum would be interested in stuff like this but the info would be invaluable for gaming purposes. A last question. How were the larger cast pieces of armor heat treated? Were they air cooled or quenched? Also does anyone know if a non-destructive test (such as ultrasound) would be able to determine if the plate was flawed or impoperly hardened? Would a flawed plate have a different resonance? I can just see an armor grog at a tank museum trying to explain to the guards why he was up on a KT turret with a baby ultrasound scanner For those that missed the link to the Tiger 131 rebuild Tiger 131 resto Hanns [ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

Well, I seem to be back but still have no free time in which to send turns to the collective festering herpes sores that call themselves my opponents. Some friggin' genius decided to grant vacation over x-mas and new years to both 1st and 3rd shifts so I'm stuck working an inordinate amount of overtime. The same moron that granted time off to my useless co-workers devised a schedule for me worthy of Joseph Mengele involving working alternating 12 and 16 hour shifts. My sleep schedule is massively messed up and I haven't checked my email all week. I think the Army is going to retroactively grant me SEAR certification for this test of endurance. The only bright side is my paychecks have more overtime than regular hours which will allow me to purchase more gamey German things that go BANG! Upon further reflection I believe this explanation is much too cerebral for you collection of drooling, finger sniffing gits so I proffer this: I HATE YOU GITS! SODD OFF! You'll get a feckin' turn when I'm good and ready. And to all a good night........ Hanns

Holy Crap Mr. Garrison! Something nasty crawled in PawBroon and got him all riled up! You bastard! You killed IronsClothes****aake! BTW booger, err... slobber, no that's not it. Umm... nobber, yeah that's it. Here's a little piece of belated death winging it's way 'cross the ether. I had better things (young and female) to attend to last night. The pressure in your skull isn't a migraine it's your sense of impending doom. Suck it up boy and try not to soil yourself if you have enough backbone to die on your feet. Hanns

Arguing with Ozztralians is like competing in the Special Olympics. You may be the winner but you're still a retard. What's that Nobber? You challenging me you little pissant? I have put a good BOOTing to your mate SpazzyJeff in a real battle. Such a bad beating I might add that he requested a ceasefire. Bwaaaa..... I shall find a nice little battle on "Der Kessel" after I get home from the bar and proceed to kick you crooked, yellowed, mangy teeth in. Something short and brutish I would think. Prepare a will, check it twice cuz death is coming tonight. Git! Hanns

Maybe this inarticulate trinity of SSNs can have a jolly good circle wank with each other while ahem... blowing up.. err... inflating their egos. I believe Sandia National Laboratories has discovered a new particle called the "SUP". It is made up of three component particles dubbed "morons" or known by their common names LazyeyedGitMB, Donkeydongathon and lastly and leastly Zinc Oxide Sockeye. Physicists have long debated the existance of "dumb matter" but have only recently verified it's place in the universe by theorizing that "God must have had a really bad hangover that day". The US military has expressed interest in the findings saying that these SUPs could potentially be used as a weapon if air dropped into enemy territory but concerns remain regarding the legality of such a weapon in view of the Geneva Convention. Greenpeace and Earth First! protestors have demanded that these morons be rocketed into space and thence the sun like Superman did with all the nuclear weapons in "Superman ½: The Quest for Spandex that Makes My Package Look Bigger". The Pope has called for the Office of the Doctrine of the Purity of Faith (aka The Inquisition) to investigate claims that the unity of these three morons would result in a nasty infected boil on the arse of the anti-christ, who lives in New Jersey BTW. Further updates will be forthcoming as they spew into existance. Hanns

Shandorf you git! You can't live off that watery soup called Guinness. Everyone knows that hearty German biers supported medieval monks during their fasts (and boy they must have gotten drunk!). I'd suggest something along the lines of Dortmunder Union Dark or a good Oktoberfest bier. Lots of good dark local biers too. Glüeks Dark anyone? Here's some fun though Molecular Expressions BeerShots Website It's a microscopic view of different biers from around the world.

Orginally posted by Nobody <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Still - It's a dirty job inseminating sheep, but someone Autralian has to try and improve our bloodline<hr></blockquote> Mace! I believe one of your fellow 'Ozztralians is challenging your divine right to shag sheep! Bah (bah, bah, bah), I say let this 'strine grapple with the shaved haunches of his fellows, and allow his "swimmers" their chance at glory! For did not a famous man say "It is not the measure of a man's worth, the size of his flock but the tender nibbling of sheep at his nethers?". I think it was Winston Churchill (Mk VIII) that said "it". Bow not before the succulent altar of sheepish pleasure but find within' yourself the two pence of a paying customer! Pony up mates. I know you can pool your meager resources for one last fling (or spurt) at greatness. Don't delay! Only 3 E-Z payments of US$39.95! Sorry no CODs or 'strine addresses allowed.

HOLY $HIT!!! The git finally found the shift key! Now if he can only find the door......

And yet notice how stillcan'tfindthecapskeyboy is avoiding the fact that he wussed out of a game. If you just wanted to hear yourself talk I'd suggest putting your head in a plastic bag first. Make sure it's nice and tight so none of the words escape. Pimply faced ignorant git.....

Originally posted by FoodNetworkPlagiarist <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>the scarie peoples maek funny ov me. i go somewheer else now and plae with udder peeps of miy IQ<hr></blockquote> Yes, yes, don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out. On second thought here's a nice BOOT! to send you on your merry way. To bad you couldn't send back more than one turn you imbecilic juvenile pole smoking turd burglar. Go back to fantasizing about the day when mommy lets you play with sharp pointy things and allows you to actually cook your own ramen noodles without supervision. That's the day when you'll be an all grown up ZincOxide****aake and can boil water without a hospital visit involving the burn ward. Until then SODD OFF, take your ball(s) with you and find someplace else to play. You seem to be ignorant of the of the simple fact that the taunt is the point. Lay your ladder playing git self at the feet of ol' Slappy and see if he pays attention to you. He does have that John Wayne Gacy look to him methinks. Clown suit anyone? Hanns (fecking UBB codes again) [ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

I think what people are seeing are some of the new units BTS has been baiting us with. If I'm not mistaken they're a '44 pattern PanzerRaccoon scout unit. Notice the superb camouflage this unit has in wooded terrain. I'm wondering if the much rarer '45 pattern RabidPanzerGrenadierRaccoon units will make it into the game. Granted there were only a handful of them during the fall of Berlin but I have first hand reports showing they held off entire divisions of Commies with their bare teeth.

Bewteen the inane 'stines, people with no CAPS keys and donkey-fetishists I'm not sure what is going on in the 'pool. Now, I remember back a long time ago when I was naught but a budding SSN that I challenged a certain FoodNetworkPlagiarist to a game of CM. Seems the little git went off his Ritalin for a few minutes and lost concentration and thusly the notion of the game. I even sent taunting emails to his "I'mawankerwhogotkickedoffHotmailandnowhavetouseYahoo" account with no replies. So his "challenge" rings as hollow as the wok sitting on his head. You just don't get it (yes bauhaus, I am implying that). Why don't you saunter your jauntly little asian food preparation homage fetishifying arse off to a nice ritual seppuku. Please use a sharper knife this time and make sure to aim. It appears last time you merely lobotomized yourself in conjunction with sawing off your "Rocky Mountain oysters". Watch as I now show you how to use the "big letter key" SODD OFF YOU GIT! Hanns (damn UBB sneaking smilies in there) [ 12-19-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

I'm not sure if CMPlayer's description of our game is spot on. He's neglecting to mention his 6000 points worth of machine guns and my drunken mistake of pausing a PSW in front of a 'zook. The burning house/arty/bloodbath was amusing to watch though. What he's failing to realize is that those SMG truppen are scouts and it was their job to die gloriously for the Fatherland. Yes, yes, they did run around like a group of little girls with overtight panties going into diabetic shock but it allowed to to drop 'splodey stuff on your airborne gits. Too bad the majority of the action in our game is merely my scouting force. Time will tell lad. On to other entertaining things, my Liege Sir Lars shall be meeting me for a drink tonight at that most foul pit of debauchery known as Ground Zero. It shall be interesting to see if it puts the fear of god into him or a Berliesque smile at the sins of the flesh. Perhaps if he is feeling adventuresome I can introduce him to Mistress Jean and her closet of "toys". There is nothing like the sound of the crack of the whip upon flesh and the screams of pain to ring in the holidays. Surrounded by fellow lost souls and all perversion do I feel truly at home. Hanns P.S. My JABO! match with KevorkianJeff has ended with his annihilation. I would have killed more of his gits if I wasn't so drunk most nights when I got home that I merely hit "GO" and sent the file back. So let the record show Hanns: 79 (so drunk I couldn't care most of the time) PommieJeff: 21 (I didn't have enough ammo to kill all his gits)

Elijah, Are you sure it's not a 3/4 ton Dodge WC-5x series truck? Single axle, about 2/3 the size of a 2 1/2 ton truck. Someone at Ft. Benning while I was there had one in mint restored condition. Canvas soft top, seats, split rim tires with the correct rubber on them. One of my dad's friends had one of the ambulance varients that he used for deer hunting. Cool vehicles especially if they've been nicely restored. Also dug up some stuff on google. Looks like there are a lot of groups into doing vintage resto's on them, might want to do some digging. FWIW, Hanns

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by GeriatricJeff I'm so old I fart dust. Stop putting Bengay in my colostomy bag. Has anyone seen my dentures? MATLOCK! I want more Matlock!<hr></blockquote> Fellow 'Poolers, behold the tragic horror of senile dementia. As the mind looses grasp on reality and reverts back to younger, more happy times instead of the cold, harsh prison of the nursing home. It's a sad day indeed when patients in hospice care are allowed to waste away their last few years on the internet instead of pursuing more meaningful activities like naps. Fear not DependsJeff, I know a doctor who can help you in these last confusing days. We know that between bouts of hallucinations brought on by the arsenic your family keeps feeding you and the joys of dressing up as Mrs. Claus during Christmas that the rest of the time is mostly a blur. Out of the kindness of my heart I will help you. No, no, I don't need to be added to your will or anything (besides the lawyers said you're incompetant anyways) I shall provide the name of a good doctor. I know you have a hard time remembering things so I'll write it down for you. Dr. Jack Kevorkian Tell him you want the full "treatment" post haste. No, you don't have to dress up for it and I'm sure that the splendid socialized medicine in Ozztralia will pay for most of the cost. While the light fades from your eyes I will stand at your bedside and wish you a fair adieu Sodd off you git! It's the least I can do. Hanns [ 12-11-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

All of CM player base are belong to us!

Gawk! My GrandLiege pray tell what insult have I offered thee? <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> blonde hair to my shoulders <hr></blockquote> Gawk! I say again. I keep my prematurely greying hair shorn close to not offer an advantage in close combat with drunk ruffians. It's a style that I learned whilst serving in the Army. Now say jshandorf might be better described with such Kato-ian locks. Along with the accompanying "pretty boy" image. I fear that I am also a tad shorter than you had described (circa 1.93 meters) and a few kilos heavier. Granted though in my younger days (Spring Break '93) to be precise I did "act" in a certain film of adult like nature. For the interest of yon PornGrogs I was the big fellow named "Maxwell Haus". Pretty sure no one else has used that name in those fandangled moving pictures. Alas 'tis a long story and not at all suitable to this forum. I did regale and entertain the Olde Ones with said tale while at Glüeks so I'll stop now. The girl that is currently living with me (damn that's scary, esp. with only a 400 sq ft apt.) was also in a few videos herself. I'll have to find out which ones as I'm sure ye bastards would rather gaze at flesh of the attractive female variety (even if it is a sheep for some of you). Cheers, Hanns Oh, Seanachai thanks for the offer. Drop me a line off board.

Well I've noted this new incarnation of the MBT so far is free of the insipid taint of PottyJeff and his loquacious non sequitur gibbering. One can only hope he has become enchanted with Mace's sheep, wandered into the desert and was eaten by wallabies or somefink. I do however offer my supine and sincere apologies to my Liege and GrandLiege for my lack of recent SitReps and/or AARs due to circumstances although not beyond my meager control are nonetheless extenuating. The facts being thus: Ñ) I have recently been courting the attentions of a certain young lady (species sapiens, Mace!) and have thus been unable to commit as much time at home to sorting through the approximately 300 messages I get a day looking for turns. whilst simultaneously p) allowing a 26 year old stripper who just broke up with her boyfriend to crash in my domicile while she either alpha) tries to kill herself with massive drug use, très) discovers Jebus, Mohammed or Vishnu or finì finds another place to live and doesn't hawk my swag for more drugs. lastly ¥ª) comforting a certain blonde friend of mine (the Olde Ones know who I'm talking about) whilst she mourns the loss of her grandfather, finds out that her "girlfriend" is an eco-feminist clothed in hotty-Catholic-schoolgirl dressing and tries to deal with her jealous, stalker, cop ex-boyfriend. As one can make from certain assumptions and educated guesses I have been unable to devote my full attention to matters of the 'Cess. Forgive my lackadaisical loss of concentration and direction. Ever at thine beck and call (especially when it's putting a good stomping on someone) Hanns fecking UBB codes! [ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

I'd love to see this as a battle. A couple of PzGrenadier companies with accompanying armor facing about 40 HQ units with no support!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Fer Gawdsake Hanndsie! Stop playin' wid wimmen an' send me feckin' turn so's I can finish yer orf!! Ye are slower than a slug on valium.......<hr></blockquote> It appears that the glitch in the universal wave, nay the veritable blackhole of cosmic stupidity has ingested another TacoHell Valu-meal of verbosity and upon later reflection upon the heavenly throne birthed forth yet another string of GassyJeff posts. One would be almost tempted to think that these random, inane babblings were the result of some "insult-generator" but it is impossible for even the likes of Microsoft to degenerate anything to the level of a BlasèJeffe post. The act of elimination leaves us with the sad knowledge that SpazzyJeff is not some drivel spewing mindless automaton but a drivel spewing mindless corpus. That living cells could be prodded into such a useless mold and not auto-abort themselves leaves grave gaps in Darwin's theories. The game with PommieJeff is nearing it's inevitable conclusion: his utter defeat. His last minute charge into the sights of my AT guns further exemplifies his tactical ineptitude. True he might exit some units off the battlefield but there are so many "Routed!" and "Broken!" crews that I simply don't have the ammo left to kill them all. Also his pitiful whining (more akin to someone begging for a merciful death) fell on deaf ears this weekend as I had more important (and female shaped) things to attend to. As I've stated before, when the day comes that AdolescentJeff reaches puberty, he will understand why his interruptions mean so little. Until then he'll have to pine longingly at those posters of the BackdoorBoyz and Ricky Martin with no understanding of why. The last minutes of your brief life have been returned you little ganglion pustule of ignorance. Lastly, Sir Lars, would you be so kind as to re-send the setup for "ArtyFest '45" to me. I seem to have misplaced it and desire to drop a bit of hurt on CMplayswithhimself. Many thanks m'Lord.

Sir Lars be well comforted in the fact that "ArtyFest '45" shall be winging it's way onto the TRP designated as CMPlayer whence I retire from the bar later this evening. I'm quite sure that the double vision induced by many shots of Jägermeister shall act as a stereoscopic rangefinding aid for my FOs. I'm also quite sure that my neighbors appreciate the realistically sampled sound of 'splosions rendered at high volumes on my Carver system at 0300 hours. Hanns

Grandsire Joe Shaw, since CMPanderer is making much noise and beating about the bushes for, well a good beating, can it be me? Since his liege is AWOL and it's apparent that he hasn't been booted in a long time and has forgotten his station and the traditions of the 'Cess. May I add a few extra boots in for my liege Sir Lars and yourself, or is this too presumptuous? On to the taunting. CMPlayer if that is you real name, thou art a shaved baboon prancing about like a perfumed dandy poltroon. Your gangrenous proclamations of "I'm da bestus playyer of da game Comabat Mission" bespeaks your ignorance of the traditions and conduct of the Mutha Beautiful Thread and the entire Cesspool. Were your liege not absent I'd suspect that your errant ways would have been corrected by now with judicious application of the rod. Unfortunately without the careful guidance of a strict hand you have grown like a noxious weed and need to be pruned (beaten) back into line by the righteous hand (or boot as it were) of your peers. Engarde miscreant! The gauntlet has struck upon thine misbegotten visage! Defend yourself (oh, I'll need a setup from someone) Hanns [ 11-28-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

Well it seems that instead of enjoying a relaxing four day weekend consuming turkey flesh and various fixin's, I have been trapped in the fluorescent lit limbo known as "place where I go and do stuff so I get paid" and doing the activity known as workin' lot's. Nothing like having the boss on Wednesday night drop of a feckin' 48 page list of crap to be done by Monday to ruin a weekend. Anyways due to this ****eload of busy work I've been unable to post these last few days. Hopefully this missive shall rectify that. First off, my "battle" with OokeyJeff is showing some 'splodey potential. Like the potential energy released when his tanks 'splode all nice like. I've lost 2 AT guns for my troubles but have managed to wipe out almost all of his ADA assets. His plan now appears to be driving around in random directions in an attempt to confuse the flyboys or maybe make some interesting crop circle patterns in the wheat fields. Further analysis of PalsyJeff's actions is unwarranted as there is no signal amongst the noise. SitReps will be forth coming as necessary or when something amusing happens. Upon reading Slappy's verbose soliloquy on so called Ozzie culture I have come to the conclusion that the only culture that Ozztralia posses is that which they use to ferment the swill that they affectionately refer to as "beer". Making a comparison between Ozzies and yeast is obviously unfair to yeast as it performs a useful function of turning sugar into alcohol, whereas most Ozzies babble on about their "yarbles" and brag about being "da Chunder from Downunder" or some such nonsense. Anyway the comparison is valid on more than a few levels. The first similarity is particularly apt. While there are different strains of yeast whose end product tend to be chemically similiar (C2H5OH) the resulting quality varies by a great deal. This would be akin to someone like a Goanna yeast yielding a drinkable porter while a Mace or Stuka strain producing something akin to Old Milwaukee or Schlitz Malt Liquor. Then there would be the TourettesJeff strain of yeast. I'm not sure there is any malted beverage crappy enough to compare to the utter drivel this Darwin Awards contestant has posted. Maybe the "soup" from the bottom of a bar dumpster that has been sitting in the sun a few weeks, then strained through the bowels of a jaundiced panhandler into a dirty syringe "might" be comparable but I'd tend think it would be much more palatable than any of FloozyJeff's posts. To the rest of you worthless gits, may you gorge yourselves on leftover turkey and into a nice tryptophan coma and hopefully sleep apnea induced asphyxiation. For those of the "international" persuasion a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a handful of barbiturates works well I've heard. Happy Eating! Hanns

Andrew, My '74 CJ-5 at home is getting jealous! Now it's asking for a pintle mount and fording kit. Can you please, please make the Ford script optional?? My Jeep would have conniptions if it found out I was using an "imposter" Jeep mod Hanns

What I'd really like to see is someone redoing the intro movie with all the new hi-rez mods. It's almost a shame having those clunky lo-rez graphics when the actual game is capable of so much more. If someone get's a wild hair and completes it, let me know. Thanks, Hanns