Dave H

That's only because you are posting on the silly things on the "9/11 conspiracy" thread. Please don't encourage the silly wackos. BTW, here is your soap box back. Sorry about the stains...I spilled. </font>

More like a lesson of what happens when tanks take their leisurely time and get left naked when a smoke screen disappears. Timing is everything, and it didn't work out. Now added to the database of CMBB lessons learned.

Get in line. Everyone else is, too, even on the General Forum.

I couldn't work up enough energy to pull it back. Too many turns to make. Also, I'm still waiting for mike to bring back my soapbox!

All right, who swiped my soapbox?? Mike, where did you put it? Grrr!! :mad: Ahem. You're all a swarm of invertebrates! All of your IQs added together wouldn't equal a positive number. If every single one of you disappeared today the average intelligence of the world's population would increase by 10%. Wow, I feel better! I'd been feeling that caught in my throat for the last few days. Much fun gaming over the weekend. MasterGoodale (the maggot) has my Germans on the ropes. His 100,000 or so Russian infantry are moving up in phalanx formations, and I'm running out of bullets. His heavy tank which has taken up position behind me is a problem, too. MG (the maggot) was so pleased at knocking out my Tiger. I had to tell him the Tiger lost its gun to his air attack, got itself bogged in open ground, and finally was abandoned by the crew. A glorious victory for his Russians! Teddy Windsor has set the entire Cheery Waffle town on fire. This includes buildings his own troops occupy. Since he has destroyed all of my flamethrowing AFVs, I can only watch in envy. Shosties4th is shelling my dauntless Russian attackers. I'd return the favor if a German would stand up so these blind Russians could see him. Crow is throwing tankettes and armored cars into the fight with my commandos. So far they are making life miserable for my Germans. Prinz Eugen has been voted off the island. Stalin's Organ is attacking my Germans with Matildas and Valentines!! I thought we were fighting Russians! His escape route is closed for business right now, anyway. UXcva_ is allowing me to deploy into town in Cheery Waffle 2.0, obviously preparing to nuke the entire area. :eek: WallyBob has two Tigers and a Brummbar to combat my pioneers. Can he keep them far enough from all of the trees? Two Tigers have already paid the ultimate price. :cool: I also have a most enjoyable PBEM game going which is only about 500 points on a small map. Great fun, and highly recommended for those who have difficulty getting turns in. No, I'm not talking about MasterGoodale (the maggot); I received THREE turns from him over the weekend. Of course, he's winning, so that probably gives him added incentive.

I've seen the word insanity defined as doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You're not a total idiot and/or teenager. Haven't you made the mental leap to connect the drinking and the aftereffects? No, evidently not.

Aren't we all? Obviously his time on active duty affected his brain, such as it is, and he has disappeared without a farewell post, a turn, or a trace. Maybe when he gets back to school he'll turn up again. Or not. :eek:

Thanks for this link. Fascinating look at life in any army. I especially liked his remarks about the Hero of the Soviet Union award (Stalin wanted artillerymen nominated) and the incident about shooting down their own balloon. This guy certainly didn't try to embellish his role in the war. He made it sound very much like a young guy just doing his job. He seems like someone I'd like to have known.

Oh, and I suppose your Finns swallowed their light machine gun or whatever before they died so my Russians couldn't find it. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Have you maggots checked out Soddball's thread about the Superman-like spotting of FOs, mortars, and HMGs in trucks and inside halftracks? Looks like it's Soddball versus Moon in a titanic death-match. Who will be the first to admit that he doesn't know what he's talking about? Who will finally confess to being a worthless maggot? Who will be the first to get himself banned from posting? Stay tuned!!

Soddball, I never thought I would say these words about you, but I think you may be on to something. My worst example of spotting was the exact opposite of the long-range X-ray vision you're talking about here. In a PBEM versus Keke, my Russian infantry battalion actually eliminated one of his uber-Finn infantry units. One of my squads ended up standing directly on the Finn body icon, and still the only ID they could get was "Infantry?" Before anyone asks, the Russian squad was regular, in command, and not even under fire. I guess I should have been glad my Russians were able to tell there were no wheels attached. Otherwise they might have mistaken the Finns for a truck. So we have Germans successfully identifying Forward Observers, mortars, and HMGs in the back of a truck or inside a halftrack at 1,500 to 2,000 meters, and a regular Russian squad unable to identify an eliminated Finn unit at 0 meters. Peculiar. :confused:

What's the matter, aren't you getting enough mindless gun-play in Cheery Waffle? :eek: I think you have set every building in the town on fire, except for the church I had the honor of setting ablaze. Have you noticed I am trying to put out the fires by blowing up the buildings? You did get my message to make sure all of your Russians were safely out of town, didn't you?

Strangely enough, I figured you would save your vacation time for your honeymoon!! So what is your plan? Something like this: on your wedding night you tell Paula "Sorry, dear, but I already took my vacation. We can't go anywhere, because I have to go to work in the morning. Let me just get through these CMBB turns and I'll be ready for bed in just a few minutes." Four hours later you turn off the computer and sneak into the bedroom. Or will you save that for a month or two into your marriage? I know I've done it more than a few times. It looks like my "Beat Dave Like a Rented Mule" will have to wait for a while. With Shosties and UXcva_ piling on, I now have eight PBEMs going (although Prinz Eugen - the maggot - is threatening MasterGoodale - the maggot - as the least likely to send a turn). When I finish a few of these I'll get back to it, for you maggots like Keke the uber-Finn, mike_the_gamey_wino, and Axe of the Great White North. Not to mention the so-called people I haven't yet had the pleasure of playing (you maggots might even know who you are).

Crow, trust me, EVERYBODY who plays CM learns almost all of their lessons "the hard way". I was actually quite surprised to see your AC go up like that. Who'd have thought throwing rocks at it would cause it to explode? I guess my guys are in trouble now. UXcva_ and I played the entire first turn of Cheery Waffle 2.0 without a shot being fired. Is this a record for a Soddball scenario? Did MasterGoodale (the maggot) already go on vacation again?

My God, the humanity!! MasterGoodale (the maggot) took his vacation and created a ... Mini-Me !! :eek: :eek: Notice that Screeching Fleabite (the mini-maggot) has no information in the profile. Care to comment, MG?? MasterGoodale (you maggot), this is low even by your standards.

Oh, is that you MasterGoodale, you maggot? Were you gone? I hadn't noticed. Since I have received at least one turn from you in the last 60 days I wasn't expecting any more contact with you this month.

Back to work again after a great holiday weekend. Those of you maggots who actually sent turns over the weekend (Crow, UXcva_, WallBob, Shosties4th, Stalin's Organ, and Teddy Windsor), thank you. Those of you maggots who were too busy to send turns (Prinz Eugen and MasterGoodale), thank you, too, for proving to the world what low forms of life you really are. Crow's Russians are defending like madmen against my commando raid. Someone must have told them we're not taking any prisoners with us when we leave. UXcva_ and I have started Cheery Waffle version 2.0 and there are significant changes from the beta scenario. For one thing, Ted has informed me that yours truly is the Russian company commander. Fortunately, I find myself playing the German side, with the ever-suave Teddy Windsor as my company commander. I'm inclined to let his virtual self give all the orders. WallyBob seems to have tired of watching his Tigers explode and is turning the tables on my armor. Stuarts just don't shrug off many hits by 88s. Oh, mike_the_weiner, ask WallyBob about his experience on July 4'th. It could put new light on your partying. :eek: Shosties sent me a file for my unit purchase and setup, but nothing since. My Russians are impatiently waiting to attack. Stalin's Organ has spent most of our game shooting up my trucks, which are trying to get my Germans to his escape route off the map. Finally I have some guns in place to make his escape more difficult. Russian trucks are burning on the bridge and in the ford. :cool: Teddy Windsor and I are slugging it out in the original Cheery Waffle scenario. I must admit, Soddball does not leave you to fight emptyhanded. Buildings are burning all over town.

Oh, well, of course you only listen to BBC Radio Scotland. I'll be it does you a lot of good letting you know about traffic problems in Toronto. This surprised me when you wrote "Problems and complaints are the same the world over it seems." Does that mean the BBC Radio Scotland has Joe Sixpacks calling in from Waddy-Peytona Kentucky wondering what 6'4" seventh-grade point guard the UK Wildcats are recruiting? I'm telling you, there are some frightening people around here! :eek: Shosties, do you want to try to pry Soddball's new snow scenario out of his cold drunk fingers? He won't let me have it. Something about me doing too much complaining about his absolutely brilliant scenarios, which I can only wish I had created myself. Prinz Eugen, if you don't stop playing that "other" game and send a turn, my Russian defenders will die of old age.

Me too, me too!!! To the nameless two of you who sent e-mail but left out the actual game file, I welcome you to the club of absent-minded old men. Leave it to Soddball to really stretch the envelope of tactical depth in a scenario. He brings all the finesse of the Incredible Hulk to wargaming.

Sir, you have sullied my honor, and I demand satisfaction. Why don't you tell the good people, and the usual crowd of Cheery Waffle maggots, how I sent you a wonderful set-up, and how you turned it down on the grounds that, and I quote, "I'm skeered that I mite luze!" I would demand that we meet for a duel at sunrise tomorrow, but I think the sun is always up in Finland right now, so I guess that's out. All right, let me see what I can find to make your miserable existence a little more bearable. Maggot.

Duh, what lessons are those?? :confused: :confused: Here's what I've learned: Don't take on you and your Romanians who sit contentedly under about 550 mortar shells with no thoughts of leaving. Don't fight Keke and his Finns with any soldiers not born on Krypton. Just don't waste your time. I'm not sure the Russians could identify any Finns even after the battle ended. Don't expect to knock out UXcva_'s German assault guns with Russians who can't tell a Hetzer from a StuG from a hole in the ground. Don't think for a minute that if you and mike_the_whino agree to fight with armored cars and halftracks that he won't show up with tanks. Don't ever expect a turn from MasterGoodale.

Just as I suspected. </font>

What does "honorable, non-maggot, non-sheep-shagging, decent fellows" have to do with me, you maggot?? Don't you remember, I am your government! We do whatever we want. What I have in mind is some kind of rear-guard action, where the retreating Germans pick a good spot to turn and try to hold the advancing Allies. I don't imagine the Germans would let the Allies decide where that would happen. Maybe it should be an attack by the Allies instead of a probe, so there can be more Allied points. Crow, Axe, PlatCmdr, what do you think? It may be a couple of weeks before I get this ready to start. On the one hand, I'm really pretty lazy, especially when the weather is so nice. On the other, I don't want anybody to feel like I'm taking advantage of them by choosing a completely impassable piece of ground to defend. Maybe I should defend on a river line and make you maggots take to the boats! Or maybe a bridge crossing. Plus I have to come up with a reasonable multi-use defensive unit to fight whatever you guys attack me with. :confused: Your patience is appreciated. :cool:

Crow, the rest of these slugs would never have figured that out! I'm not going to take the time to create a special map. That's too much like work. I'll look around and find one, maybe one of Biltong's. It only seems fair that the defender would get to choose something basic, like maybe where to defend!! What I have in mind is defending Germans in March 1945. I think I can leave the Allied unrestricted so the attackers can pick anything they want. Say a probe of 25+ turns, with 1,000 points of defenders. All you expert maggots tell me if this will work: I set up the battle, select my defending forces, and create the first file, named something like Crow_Dave_001. I send that file to Crow for his unit purchase. Then in Windows Explorer I rename the file to Axe_Dave_001, and send it to Axe for his unit purchase. Any reason for that not to work? Am I overlooking something in the game to prevent doing that? :confused: Anyway, that's my plan for playing lots of matches quickly, with the least possible effort for me. I'm enrolling participants now. Hurry - this is a limited time offer!

I don't know, MasterG (you maggot), somehow I think you weaken your case by writing something like that, when down at the bottom of your sig line it says My Daddies Dave H. You may have the upper hand in our new battle, but I don't see you controlling a single flag yet of the ELEVEN you stuck on this horrible battlefield! You know, the one with sight lines of 200 meters or more almost nonexistant, eliminating my defending Germans' greatest advantage. So are any of you maggots willing to let me choose terrain to defend and try a probe? How about an attack? An assault? Here's an opportunity to not only beat me, but to beat me worse than anyone else on the same battlefield with the same units defending.