jd

crisl upon seeing the scenario we are playing from the Lost Files said <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Wow-- this looks horrifying.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Another testimonial from a satisfied customer.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Further I must REMIND the members of the CessPool that I have not yet been OFFICIALLY appointed to the post.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Could there be a more fitting result than to Jesse Helms the positon of pool Justicar? Point of order Mr. Chairman, I move to attach a rider to the appointment of Shaw for tabcco bribes, ah err, persuasion, ah err public service announcements on the health benefits of smoking and the lack of older pensioners, and thus return the bill to committee to be marked up. If not succesful I shall address the pool and begin at the beginning.........ahem Chapter, the First" In the beginning (insert deity or first principle here) created (or didn't) the heavens and the earth, ...(or at least a small trailer park outside of Witchita...) [ 09-11-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Joe appointed Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread,? Bears consideration... Let me tell you all a little story, as a simple country lawyer, I have come to observe Joe and his penchants....So it reminds me of the time a lawyer lived in a small town and was the only lawyer around those parts. Now he did occasional work, drew a will, settled a boundary claim but, he was, well, going flat broke. Then one day, as he was sitting in the courthouse square, fanning himself to keep the midges at bay, he noticed a new sign. "Attorney at Law" it read. A new lawyer had moved to town and let me tell you, the days of going broke were over. Now don't cha know they both got rich. Now Joe is a right good fellow, as a defense attorney we enjoy the bombastic and predictable and Ball(s)Gunner Joe fits the bill. Look at his recent persecution and pogrom of The Bard of the North The best he could do is hang a minor misdemeanor on him. They say a good prosecutor can get a Grand Jury to indict a ham sandwich. I have no worries that Smilin' Joe will actually threaten this little haven of ours. After all he'll be good for my fees. Then again there is his CM playing ability. Now, I realize that we don't care about wins or losses, but we do like to crush and demolish little furry things, and for that Cracker Joe is perfect. He, like lawyers, does not have any brake skids in front of his carcass. In our current game Smokey Mountains (highly reccomended for double blind pbem) Joseph has once again proved his bona fides. Well let's say he is hoping at this point to reinact Benteen rather than Custer. Meanwhile the Indians gather..... So Aye for Joe. Perhaps I'll need to clear out the back office and take MrSpkr on as a Rule 9 Intern, in anticipation for an increase in the trade...... [ 09-09-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Seanachai Quit yer prattling and choose your doom...the futility of your position is obvious, the files lie before you [ 09-06-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Seanachai ya rotten draw string git. Are you going to wallow in your prose or are you getting our tie breaker going. Or do i have to seek out rune to punish us. Truly visions of Hieronymus Bosch, locked in a nether world of non-resolution [ 09-03-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

So what is it about this "wonderful game?" Just heard from a pooler that [deleted] had been fired from their job. That makes at last count at least 3 or maybe 4 of us that have been vocationally terminated with extreme prejudice since CM:BO came out. One of the hidden benefits? Or that we are more odious personalities to begin with? Inquiring minds want to know!

Paw Have you sufficiently recovered from your drunk to resume? Seems your server is insisting that your "mailbox is full" probably with your vomit and bodily fluids. Pour some coffee into you and shake it off

Lorak The Bard o' the Northland and I have achieved absolute equanimity in reaching our 4th or is it 5th DRAW *gack* A perfect game 50-50. Absolute stability, absolute ineptness. Scribe it thus jd - draw Seanachai - draw. As for ElvenFooted, what he failed to mention is that he only managed a MINOR as in small, miniscule, barely worth anything but if we have to give it to him, I suppose type of victory. The hell with the numbers, statistics lie, CM summed it up a minor vioctory against a woefully unprepared and wrongfully suited OOB. If I had any sort of decent terrain the hedgehogs would be picking their teeth with his bones. Hell a minor (as in small) victory is NO victory at all!!!

Gunnergoz, Is fioeldgrass this mods name?, because I defintely want to give it a try! [ 08-16-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Lorak! A well earned victory against that arch enemy and ungrateful former squire, Iskander Whose pungent AAR reads <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You're a goddam walking advertisement for that game-end randomizer.....bitch.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> and my equally pith reply <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Excuse me, Mr Gamey run a crew member to jump in front of a Tiger to "distract" it. Mr Run a lone zook crew to do the same and Mr Gamey run my last squad onto the VL (before mine retaliated and did the same) I had at least a platons worth , you a single onderstrenght squad. Neener, neener you LOST<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> jd - Win Iskandy - Loss [ 08-15-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Some people wonder about squires well I suppose we all do, but there are moments that bring a tear to our old kniggit eyes (usually pungnt onions) such as when a former squire demonstrates the character, quality and verve that we, their leiges seek to impart. Such a moment has occurred in my match with my former squire Iskander He has pulled a gamey bastard move that is worthy of being a lawyer. A moment of bliss when we feeel the shiv run home between our ribs, and all we can mutter as der Tod's dim shades claims our sight "Et tu..?" In the last turns of our game, I have a Tiger on a hilltop, dominating the terrain. At leisure he has been destroying all sent against him., he rains metallic death on hapless GI's, buildings shudder and collaspe when the crosshairs rest upon the sill..... So my former squire has sent forth the lone bazooka rush from 2000m's away to distract him from the assigned destruction.Like some Pythonesque charge across feild after fetid field, the 'zook man knows no fear. He can't even get close, yet my tank ignores targeting orders to make him dance. So my hat's off to you ya gamey bastiche.....*sniff* I am so proud! Raise another glass..... [ 08-12-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Tell it like it is Brother....can I get an A-men!

For what it is worth...I was able to insert the MDMP 1 Winter Hetzer into Graphic 1. I still retain the standard Hetzer for non - snow months and this shows up only in a snow situation. so it would seem that bmp's saved as picts can be inserted into spare space of available resources (albeit one at a time) and subject to aikidorats (ya owe me a game Dave!) warning that once you put them in you cannot use MCM3 or MacMod to install new skins over them. Thanks to Buckeye and Tom M. for the advice....... [ 08-01-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

Ahhh Elvis, what turn number would that be. Was it "Youragameybatard" or the liting and haunting "Surethinglollipop" Hmmmmmm? and leeoooooooooooooouch if your gun crews would stop shooting at crews 180 degrees from the action, you might avoid getting flanked ...as for the rest, feh and double feh. At 50 I get to be a curmudgeon and might even send back a turn if the metamucil kicks in, Feh!

Elvis is well, Elvis.'nuff said. While a turn numberer (like Iskie I keep the last turn rec'd and sent only) I have found with our current game a new, for me art form, that of the pbem taunt. The challenge is to utilize the limited character space where we usually would number our turns. Thus some of our turns are identified thusly Ecantseeabear****inthewoods.txt, Elfart.txt, Elfartedonjdshead.txt, Elvisusedposionivyinstead.txt, harumph.txt, Havetocatchmeifyoucanneener.txt, iloveentrails.txt, ilovefirediscipline.txt, iloveliverspots.txt Granted the possiblities of this Haiku sort of taunt have yet to be explored, but if Petulant Elvis is to be humored, this at least provides an outlet [ 07-21-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: We might have expected this of course,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey Hamilton Burger, ya owe me a turn ya procurer

Spkr! Things still hang in the balance. I have one more tactic to try. Watch Shaw carefully, and tell me what he does. (Standing and Waiting a respectful time so not as to startle the Judge, who is researching the finer points of courtroom procedure (glug, glug) Your Honor! I mean to bring this travesty of justice to a fit and quick end. Our investigators have uncovered the perpetrator of this dastardly deed, and it is not Sir Seanachai No rather, it is the true villain who has orchestrated this charade for his own gains, who bears in his coldest of foul hearts the burning lust and passion of a jealous lover, the cold calculating mind of a serial killer, the avarious of well, just about all of us. To what end ladies and gentleworms? What possible gain could this, this usurper hope to achieve? Why it is elevation to that of the inner circle, to be acknowledge as a progenitor, to be......An Old One But there was a catch. One stood in is way. One had to fall, to be cast down. One's honor had to be so besmirched as to allow our villain the opportunity to marshall his evil minions and rise up against the established order in insurrection and declare himself, the Anti-Peng the Pontifix Maximus of the Pool, the beast of the whore of Babylon. And he ...is....just on the other side of those doors. (pointing to the back of the courtroom.) leeo bring him in! (all eyes swivel to the rear. speculation is rampant. A shadowy figure is seen in the shadows, only the lower legs are visible and some dusty wing tips. Who is this monstrous nightshade creature? Hiram? Stalin's Organ, perhaps Lewis himself. The figure shambles forward as the light shines on him, slowly rising up his body as if the sun recoils at the very thought of contact.) A gasp is heard as finally it is revealed to be Lawyer, supported by Iskander and both are stinking drunk, ploughed, soused to the gills, falling down drunk , which the y proceed to do in an unseemly heap and most un-manly embrace. The court room explodes with laughter and guffaws, as everyone realizes that they have been had. These two drunken buffoons take over the exalted omnipresence of an Old One? Not bloody well likely! ORDER, ORDER in the Court!!!!Lorak's sepulcherian and stentorian voice rings out as he pounds the gavel. Order, I WILL have Order. Now counsel, what is the meaning of this little jest. As everyone can see neither of these town drunks could be the man you describe. Produce him I say! With pleasure your honor. jd turns slowly surveying the crowd until all eyes are on him. Walking slowly towards the bench, he stops and speaks briefly with Spkr Nodding at what he hears he glances briefly at his old nemesis, the self appointed prosecutor and procurer of young squires and smiles. In a most conversational way he turns to the court after reaching it's well and says, " When I said I'd produce this man, I spoke truth. When I pointed to the doors, and they opened. EVERYONE turned and looked at what was to be revealed. All looked,(and in a quiet whisper) except one. All looked except the man who is the one I described. All looked except...... suddenly spinning around he points once again the gnarly finger of accusation at >>>> Joe Shaw!!! Shaw the "mortgage" banker, Shaw the source of the Mormon Wives infestation, Shaw who prances around seducing the youth of the pool to support his twisted vision of the pool, as we have seen him do with young master Lars here and of course Shaw who owes me a turn. And was it not SHAW here who tried to inflame the masses against the perhaps fey but always ready to burst into song Sir Seanchai, Knaggit of the Cesspool, Elder and nappy dresser!? well all but that last at least. BAILIFF, take this impostor and throw him to the unboldened masses and let the proletariat have at him, then the sheep, mustn't forget the sheep, they can have him too, and then the squires he has betrayed , and the serfs and the pissboys and finally the (shudder) ssn's may have their way with him as well. Then bring him back here that our noble lord may pronounce Shaw's final doom! [ 07-19-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

muttering to himself as Shaw drones on...... [ 07-19-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

A defense is it you want? Well Mr Seanachai (presumption of innocence), remember we are in the midst of a game. So bethinking that right clearly as you plot your next turn... Where was I? Oh yes, as a simple country lawyer, and experienced trial lawyer and former Public Defender there is no need to seek admittance to the Circuit Pool of Cess pro hac vice. Now as Mr Shaw, my esteemed collegue, acting as procurator fiscal is no grauate of a school of law and who I shall of course institute unauthorized practice of law charges against after this travesty is concluded, has filed an information and bought off the grand jury. No petit jury from these denizens can be found that is either unbought or sober, soooooo in my considered opinion, best cop a plea. Of course if you insist on pleading your case in the halls of justice, seeking redress for the wrongs, aspersions and calumny visted upon your virtous name, then I suppose we shall proceed. another damn pro bono publico, oh well you get the defense you pay for. Remember my dear Steven I have never lost a case with a client that was truly innocent of the charges (think on it, wait for it..) So take heart my dear friend, even now my colleagues are rousting themselves from their sonorous repose and shall gird themselves anon to do battle. We shall scorch the field of combat, ruin and lamentations before us. We shall champion you (as long as the retainer check clears) all the way to Clarence Thomas if we must. Why Jake is as we speak, practicing his Oyez, Oyez to use on your behalf. And always remember these words to live by, if the verdict goes against you , well at least I don't have to do the time. [ 07-17-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nutball: Thank you for information. I am starting to get anxious even though I just ordered it about 27 hours ago. PLEASE HELP ME EASE THE PAIN!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> These young whipper snappers don't know how easy they have it, why I remember it must have been the winter of '99, by cracky. We only had the beta in those days, by gum. Yes sir, Close Encounter and Reisberg, over and over and over. Then the Gold demo adding Valley of trouble, but still we had to wait. Finally, what was it the summer of 2000, July I think (ptui) that the game of games was released. Then because of the demand it still took weeks, weeks mind you for it to arrive. We had to trudge through the snow drifts, uphill, barefoot, to check the mailbox. So you be minding you pees and ques, young man, and remember us old vets that sacrficed our selves in the Big Wait. Feh, a week and they are already upset. Why in my day, let's see, must have been...........(snore)

Perhaps we should just call it and all future versions The one true Holy and Apostolic Mutha Beautiful Peng Challenge Thread and be done with it [ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: It is a very sad day today. One of our Elders whose depth of knowledge and display of tactical skills had always been a feast for the eyes and started to play with his knickers over his swollen head. In a gamey joint venture, the Lawful combo of JD-JDMorse had me engaged in a game which ended as soon as it started because its sense of purpose was obviously southbound.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> A Senior moment Nolo Contendre, but then you are French so it seems to me a draw. One bit of incomprehensibilty for another. Besides if anyone gets the game it should be I. First you should respect your elders and gawd knows I am yours, and second you QUIT! You withdrew from the game in a snit of gaminess because it was not to your liking. Well Mr IamsoFrenchIlookdownMynoseatyou EnglishPigDogs, that oversight leveled the playing field, affecting us both, advantage nil, so your withdrawal interruptus prematuris should grant the victory to moi. But I am magnaminious and shall grant you the boon of playing in the big leagues as you so earnestly desire. En garde varlet.

Spineless toads (there's an image) fools, buffoons and poltroons, and you know who you are. It is with considerable lethergy I rise to address this compendium of parthogenic cess. Far too long have I dwelt in the nether realms, observing and indulging my ennui. I had dropped to only a few games, but now I have found that I have returned to more than ten, being a requsite quorum of vile and disgusting proles, to even catch my eye. I do find myself experiencing a bit of unease at entering a thread started by a mere "law student' While perhaps prolix and pontificating , the youg chap does try. So earnest, so sure of the nobility of the law, hmmm can't wait to take him on on his first motion docket with the presiding judge. As we await The Eternal Pod's ruling in the case of ex rel Seanachai a few updates and comments: Elvii has left the building. I think I remember him saying he was to be gone for awhile. In this our first clash, my experienced legaltruppen await the opening briefs in a rainy black forest. My esteemed opponenet (when a lawyer calls you that, check for the knife between your ribs) I think he is off on a snipe hunt, or somefink. No signs or spoor are to be seen. Iskander the not so great a former squire of much ingratitude has started an armored/infantry clash. Mr not so Great has indicated that he is terrible at handling tanks. So far I have seen nothing to dispel this, as I have seen nothing of his steel chariots. Come boy, Darius awaits, but this time the outcome will be different Jefe has, I am afraid the upper hand here. Damn it all to hell, the insufferable fool. A British band of brave men has responded to the whistle shrill call and gone over the top into the ravening maw of the maxim guns. Sheesh how many DID you buy? The bloody Field of Flanders may soon have silent company. A tactical choice of split forces has not paid off. Poltroon Ldr in a mirror image of Shandoofus also decided that buying Mg's and guns would be fun and proftable. Those damnable 20mm are annoying and ultimately irksome and foremeost tiresome. The game is hanging in the balance as my brave lads affix their bayonets. Morale is high, Victory % is low. We shall redress that balance or die trying. JoseyS and I are playing a canned scenario, Smokey Mountain. Fear in the fog? Loathing on the heath? No it's two old men stumbling around in the mist wondering where the hell everyone is. chyrsalis is being ground down and forced to kowtow in order to expurgate his previous ascendant achievement. We are reduced to throwing sticks, branches and rocks at his retreating troops. Hiram Phan has decided that sceanrios like Custer's last stand II aren't much of a challenge. We shall discover how much the boy has learned shortly, although I sense much fear in him. Martoady the Heart of Darkness poster child sent me "Pattons Ghosts" I have a dumptruck full of tanks and men, but most are green. He sneezes and they run for cover. Other than causing the laundry to have to work overtime to clean the feldgrau stains, my brave lads have struck the first blows. 3 Panthers knocked out his clown jeep. Take that Mr Smarmy and you owe me 50 for that bet. Leeo-nardoDipoof has cast me as the freckn french in "Le Camp Crossroads" He is takling the role of the attrionistii and I the manooouverist. Mildman has decided that "Move it or lose it" would be a jolly good time. One river, two bridges. He's there, I'm here (duh!) artillery falls gently on his fair upturned countenence, as dew doth drip from his pointy nose. Things blow up, others die. It is not pretty. It is the 4th of July gone psychotic. Pawbroom is, well, French. A new pax de duex has been undertaken and I await his return setup. Finally we have the sad case of Seanachai (bolded until convicted, presumption of stupidty is afterall, a pool right). He holds 2 VL, I hold 2. Can a stalemate and a third (or is it 4th?) draw be far off? There is a sickness at work here. A foul pestilence of ineptitude that permeates our beings like some arthritic crepitius. [ 07-04-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

feh!it's been so long the memory fades

nothing here [ 06-28-2001: Message edited by: jd ]