Agua Perdido

If you saw Band of Brothers, do you remember than one scene with the small German field gun firing something that looked a rifle grenade on steriods? That's the 37mm HC round. It was called something like "stiehlgranite" (except spelled correctly). It was an oversized projectile that you stuck on the end of a 37mm gun, which launched it like a rifle grenade. If you check the rest of the stats, you'll notice that its muzzle velocity is only ~100m/s or so (it's way bigger and heavier than a normal 37mm shell), while the other 37mm rounds are much faster, like 5-600 m/s. 37mm AT guns have 'em, too. Agua Perdido [Disclaimer: I am not a grog, and grogs are welcome to correct and amend what I have written above. Like I could stop ya...]

Patience is a virtue, which is why we see so little of it in the MBT. However, it is a virtue I have forced on all 'Poolers who've played me. (That is, where 'patience' is defined as, 'being forced to wait for no good reason beyond my own laziness and/or spite.') The more you whine, the more virtue you'll get. So shut the hell up. Agua Perdido

Hmrph. UPDATES! Joe Shaw is making with the prep-barrage and shooting up churches. And playing slowly. Lars is playing more quickly, but this is apparently because he isn't doing anything at all. Hel-loooo!!! I'm defending in this one. Panzer Leader is still a complete and utter dolt. I believe we're starting a game fairly soon, too. Goanna is looking to get a few scales shaved off? So be it! Expect a setup by month's end (shoulda challenged me last month to get a jump on the 1/month limit). The slow-playing-turn-losing-crack-addled-git-formerly-known-as-jdmorse doesn't seem to have lost the current turn yet, and I have to give him at least another day before I accuse him of foot-dragging. Oh, what the hell: quit yer stallin' and send me a feckin' turn! Anyone else? Take a number and go die in the corner. Agua Perdido

Seriously, dude, if making all the textures 1-bit would let CMBB run on my not-quite-surplussed-but-close-enough-that-they-won't-pay-to-upgrade-the-built-in-6MB-VRAM-with-a-real-video-card-(and-I'm-too-cheap-to-bring-one-in-myself-because-it's-a-WORK-mach ine-fer-cripes-sake) Beige G3 I've got at work, I'd download it in a second. Agua Perdido

So, you're spinning that restraining order as a "technical error," eh? I thought you had to stay 500 feet from the daycare center at all times, anyhow. Telephoto lens? Panzer Leader, you brainless prat, your impotent rage is whinier than Jess and Rory bickering in the grocery store because Jess took up with "Shane" (as it 'come back!') after Rory didn't write or call all summer; less menacing than Francine, leader of the "Puffs" attempting to strong arm Rory into influencing Paris to make her first initiative as class president the raising of school uniform hemlines by 1.5"; more awkward than Emily and Lorelei having lunch at Luke's; more petulant than whatsisname showing up at Friday dinner to complain that Lorelei is keeping Rory from him; and vastly more pathetic the sight of... [snicker] Kirk... [chortle] of Kirk actually... [guffaw] Kirk trying to-- oh, hell, wait for the reruns [hee]. Agua Perdido

Ain't nothin' like a dame, as they sing. Speaking of which, Heh. Good times, good times. Wait a tick, was this all abuse? I thought we were starting a mutual admiration society. Well, in that case, I shall lose no time in coming to horrible combat! But first, allow me to state that you are a silly person with odious personal habits and unreasonable opinions, and that the sexually-desirable persons/animals/objects in your locality are less attractive than those in mine. You may expect a setup Real Soon Now. What scenarios have you played off the CMBB CD? (You punter.) Agua Perdido

Just when I think Panzer Leader couldn't be any more of a dork... Speaking of which, time for a round of thrilling CMBB UPDATES! Panzer Leader has yet to make good on his feeble 'challenge'--still waitin' on that setup, ya ol' chum-gargling lackwit. Get with it and send me a feckin' turn. After much misdirection on both of our parts, jdmorse continues to stall after we finally found the right turn to continue our runeish CMBO abomination, which features an entire regiment of FallingGerbils against my hapless MacKenzie brothers and their dog, Hoser. Get with it and send me a feckin' turn. Hoser is looking a bit off his feed, too. Speaking of which, Lars is also languishing in the not-sending-turns-much department. I can't see why--the computer gave me an empty stretch of steppe to defend with a couple of flags as the only cover, while his side of the map has lots of lovely hills and trees to hid behind. At least he can't kill me with airbursts. Get this over with: send me a feckin' turn. And what would an UPDATE! be without good ol' Joe Shaw holding out on us, too. We're starting a loverly little Germanboy scenario whose potential aberrance is possibly explained by Ethan's shocking (but delightfully titillating, except for the part with Andreas in a bra and KevlarHosen) expose. Bah. Agua Perdido

Panzer Leader, you idiot, Dean built her a car, as opposed to tried to kill her by wrecking the car her boyfriend built for her with her in it. I'll grant you Jess gets the nod for evilness on that, but if you're trying argue "what's best for Rory," as you incomprehensibly seem to be doing, you're simply a complete and utter pillock. And Dean is cuter. Frankly (may I call you Frank?), I'm quite impressed at the personal fortitude of parents, since they must have had to withstand having their blood supplies replaced with a mixture of PCB, carbon tetrachloride, and dioxin for the period leading up to and spanning your conception and gestation in order to produce someone as profoundly defective as you. Agua Perdido

I seem to recall telling Joe that I'd like to play the Italians. That's because of the phenominally-low esteem in which I hold your tactical abilities. Being stuck with the Ostfront selections, I cannot choose the French-- which would be the appropriate level of contempt. Panzer Leader, you addled lackwit--can't you see that the zero-dimensional, ham-handed, spectacularly-untalented buffoon that you champion is no more than the "Poochie" of the Itchy and Itchier Show dynamic that is Gilmore Girls? No, of course you can't--that would require you to possess something approximating a clue. While I admire that you want to pair Rory up with a shiftless dullard who treats her like crap, chips away at her ties to family, friends and community and is trying to undermine her moral center, it doesn't excuse the fact that he's a colorless simpleton on a par with, well, you. [Blush] Thanks for the flattery, you obsequious little toad, but I don't think Berli appreciates you attributing some of his better moments to me. Plus, I really don't have the legs to pull off the Marie Antoinette look. You know, the saddest part is that this may be the best thing you've ever posted--even if you did manage to misspell it (as usual), you witless punter. What are you blathering about, you bootlicking catamite? I'm not even playing Geier. Idiot. Agua Perdido [Editing to address Seanachai's comment: What's your point? Is this because I didn't compliment your Mary Poppins outfit?] [ September 27, 2002, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

Let it be known that I am battling on the side of historical dreamboats, not gamey petulance, you pretentious wanker. I shall email my preferences to Joe and let them arrange things. Panzer Leader, you idiot, I hope you may do the same? (Except, of course, mailing your preferences to Seanachai... must I spell everything out for you? Right, of course, silly question...) The causus belli shall be nothing compared to the level of play. Cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of uber-cute coming-of-age family drama! Agua Perdido

Panzer Leader, you idiot--you're supposed to burn Boo's incense, not grind it up and snort it. That's the only possible way you could be able to confuse Jess' single emotion of "sulk" with "acting," while not noticing Dean's ability to run the full range from frustration to joy to doubt to equanimity to despair to bliss to insufferably-cute befuddlement and back while keeping up with the whiplash-inducing emotional tilt-a-whirl that is relationship with a Gilmore. Your skull and Joe Shaw's 3-wood are obviously well-acquainted from an early age. That or you've been huffing Testor's again. Ah, I think you mean, "it's like medieval, only misspelled." Idiot. Choose your second, then, my petty-lord Lackwit, and we shall meet on the field of Cess like honorable idjits once they have arranged the details. Joe, my once and former liege, would you kindly do the honors for me (yes, I'll return your setup tonight)? Agua Perdido

Bah! Dean is dreamy, I tell you, not just some self-absorbed, teen-angst monotype. What's more, the kid who plays Dean can act, as opposed to the one-tone twit playing Jess who could no more act his way out of a second-grade production of Little Red Riding Hood than you could taunt your way past a seven-year-old who's been hit in the head with a five iron. Agua Perdido

Pansies. Agua Perdido [Edit to specify: No, Boo, I don't mean "how about incense that smells like pansies," I mean "yer alla buncha feckin' pansies wit yer incense an' yer 'manly' hug an' yer Gilmore Girls"... speaking of which, I wasn't at all surprised Jess was smooching on that acid-washed ho-bag, and what's more it's about feckin' time Rory starting appreciating how uber-dreamy Dean is and just forget that gamey James-Dean-wannabe idiot, although I'm sure she'll screw it up in the end (down, Bauhaus). Who's for coffee, then?] [ September 25, 2002, 04:10 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

What the hell is wrong with you? The season premier of Buffy was on last night! Pillock. Anyhow, that, and a lengthy bit of OS-updating and post-update driver-reinstalling, and the fact that Joe Shaw, Lars and anybody else I'm playing are a sad little bunch of smelly fenderheads who hardly deserve the effort of signaling via a slightly-raised eyebrow to one's nefarious minions to push them off a cliff, much less actually sending 'em a setup, are the reasons that I sent no turns last night. But a good chance turns will go out tonight. A very good chance. Such an excellent chance, in fact, that you should all hold your breath while waiting for your turns. That's it... nice, deep breath... hold it... hold it... Only 7 more hours until I'm off work... Don't worry about the spots and the ringing in your ears... promise I won't take too long with dinner, and only a short stroll afterwards... hold it... Agua Perdido

Are you kidding me, you doddering old dullard? It's YOUR TURN! For feck's sake, man, check your email once a quarter, at least. Here, I'll go send you the turn AGAIN. Agua Perdido

On behalf on everyone who read that, let me say, "eeeuuggghhh," and shudder and look forward to the sweet, sweet booze that will make the bad thoughts go far, far away. Agua Perdido

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I've noticed this in the demo: N enemy tanks dead at the end of Yelnia Stare, but only N-1 kills credited to the units that did the killin' (and yes, I did cycle through all the rest of my units to make sure some random half-squad or HQ hadn't done it when I wasn't looking). I suspect this may happen when a tank gets immobilized/gun-damaged (but not knocked out) and the crew decides to abandon after a turn or two (and no, I don't mean the "death clock"). This same thing would happen sometimes in CMBO (a crew abandoning a gun-damaged+immobilized tank a turn or more after it was crippled), although I never checked in CMBO to make sure a "kill" was credited to anyone. I'm not sure if this is a bug, or an instance where the game can't tell whom to credit with the "kill." [Edit: Just loaded up an end-game autosave from Yelnia Stare in which the Germans killed all 6 T-34s. German units only get credit for killing 4 in their kill stats. Clicking on the dead tanks, I notice that only 4 of them are "knocked out," while the other 2 are "abandoned." Coincidence?...or CONSPIRACY?] Agua Perdido [ September 24, 2002, 01:11 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

I believe I owe you a good kick in the kneecap, followed by a vigorous booting about the head and shoulders, you girly-drink-drinking halfwit. I will send your setup tonight, unless I get distracted by something shiny on the way home from the playground. Yes, I'm sure you can parlay your resemblance to Steve Buscemi (in the sense of being "funny-lookin'," but not in the sense of having quirky appeal or any amount of talent) all the way up to being 2nd assistant nose-hair groomer for "Chet"'s stunt double in Barton Fink. I'll show you the life of the mind! Agua Perdido

Spkr, you idjit--"Agua" isn't a knight of the Mutha-Beautiful Thread. No bolding for ssn-types! Don't make me make Joe Shaw come over there... Agua Perdido [Edited to note that, even though this is the outerboard, Croda is still a brainless prat, and I will get my copy of CMBB at least 32 hours prior to that-idiot-lawyer-from-Texas-MrSpkr.] [ September 18, 2002, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

Who's for a jolly sing-song, then? Lemming, Lemming! Lemming of the B-D-A! Lemming, Lemming! Lemming of the BeeDee, Lemming of the BeeDee, Lemming of the BeeDee, BeeDee-AAAaaaAAA! Crack a tube. Agua Perdido

Or maybe we would if you ever SENT A FECKIN' TURN! Agua Perdido

I prefer a variant of that: Bourbon with Bourbon (and Bourbon). Got a bottle of 16-year-old A.H. Hirsch I've been savin' for that first toast, some Maker's Mark for after I'm feeling toasty, plus the reliable old Evan Williams for when I'm finally toasted. You gotta have backups. Agua Perdido

How about setting out bowls of tuna at the side of your house?</font>

Where's my damned turn? If you can send some idjit Oztralyun two turns in a week, you can damned well send me five. Agua Perdido