Lawyer

Thanks for the tip, Mike. I just posted my review on Amazon. You guys should too. Easy to do and lots of fun in this case. I laughed when I saw that somebody gagged on the "any and all" phrase as much as I did. Same with "pertaining to". We wuz all robbed. Normally I check Amazon before buying, but this time I was just a little too anxious to buy... Ah well, venting is good for the soul. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect.... [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 09-25-2000).]

Good one, Luckyshot! I'm at work so I can't reference them all, but that one stuck me too. Maybe we could start a contest to find the most annoying phrases Simpson used. There are many, many candidates. I still can't believe a real publisher would release Tiger Ace. In hard cover, to boot. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

LOL! Let's start an "I feel your pain" club for all of us who struggled through Tiger Ace by Simpson. I was an innocent victim visiting Border's Bookstore and perusing the shelves quickly (TOO quickly in retrospect). I wanted some panzer resource books, and Tiger Ace seemed a good mix of personal history and tactics about a famous tanker. Plus, I had good regard for Schiffer Military publishers from its well-produced biographies of Adolph Galland and Gabreski. Tiger Ace had good pictures, too. I didn't pay much attention to the author. Big mistake!! When I started reading the book, I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing and trying with enormous difficulty to comprehend. Reading Tiger Ace became so painful that I soon developed a perverse pride in my ability to stick with it page after painful page to see if I could actually finish it. I counted down each page I processed until the merciful end of this publishing disaster. This "book" is nothing but an unedited first draft that looks as though it was read directly into a voice recognition program and sent straight to press. From what I can see, it started as a college paper by Simpson, who later carried out some interviews. I read the whole book because there seemed to be some useful information, and I had paid $35 for it. I did learn something, but a good edit job would have chopped at least 100 to 150 pages of the worst prose ever put on paper. I got a laugh out of ianc's "Simpson Filter" remark. How true! My favorite overworked Simpson phrase for stupidity and redundancy is "any and all" as in Wittman checked any and all things at any and all times etc.... This annoying phrase is used constantly, and sometimes more than once in the same sentence. I also got a kick out of Simpson's expressing the first-person inner feelings of a man who died in a tank in 1944 at age 26 or so. Simpson keeps saying what Michael "felt" or "thought" and so on. I kept thinking "What the hell does this guy know about what Wittman thought or felt?" Perhaps the biggest hoot for me was brief concluding paragraph when Simpson tells us that Wittman (who displayed great talent and zeal in killing lots of tanks and people) was just a simple farm boy who had a knack for machinery and never wanted to be a soldier. An unbelievable conclusion to a "book" that is truly incredible for all the wrong reasons. Yes, this is an adoring fan book more likely suited to Michael Jordan than Michael Wittman. Nonetheless, there is some interesting information on Wittman, German tanks, and tactics for those brave folks willing to torture their eyes and intellect to gather it. Anybody want to buy my copy? Thank goodness for this thread. I've been wanting to vent about this book for a long time. Whew... It's safe to come out now, I'm done. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

I also recommend EAW and Jane's WW2 Fighters. EAW not sold in stores anymore, but available on Ebay cheap. Combatsim.com has the most excellent EAW forum where you can get full support and mods. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

"Not hardly Scott,I don't need any trouble." Dick Reece is correct. He has plenty of trouble already playing PBEM with me. He may be a little nervous, however. Hehehehe...... I agree with Matt that Dick and Scott both made valid points. I didn't detect any hidden agenda in Dick's posts. I can tell you firsthand that Dick uses the Chinese restaurant method for selecting units: Pick one from column A, one from column B, one from column C, etc. Then mix it all together and blow everything up with much gusto! Very cool to watch, and seems to work well so far, but it ain't over till the fat lady sings, eh Dick? Cheers Jake ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

Well, hrummmphh, I certainly hope you don't pay Matt anything. I resent the fact that he might actually make money helping the rest of us. Why does he need to make a living? Just jokin' Well deserved and congratulations! ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

I had this same question after my hidden bazooka team in the woods did nothing as the Tiger I was waiting for went from 100+ meters to less than 50 meters. I had specifically targeted the Tiger so he was in the sights the whole time. I thought the rule in the manual was that hidden units would fire once the targeted unit came close enough for a good shot, which seemed true in my case. What is the rule on when hidden units will fire? Does specific targeting make a difference? Thanks for any help. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

Excellent! All present and accounted for. Let the games begin! Perhaps you should all start humming the song "I fought the law, and the Lawyer won!" ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

Hellooo... Mr. M. Tanker.... Where are you?? Your effort at stealth warfare is most impressive. Nonetheless, I cannot engage you in mortal combat unless you give me your email address. Or are you hiding in fear from the Lawyer? ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

Many thanks, BJ. The victims, no doubt overly stimulated by the lure of ill-gotten gain, are biting at the bit to get started. You can check it out at my thread "Are you good enough to win a bad movie?" Computer force selection leaves me a little cold since it chooses some funky weapons and combinations. Cheers ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

Well, well, well... The lure of lucre has indeed produced a fine bevy of the walking dead for my troops. And a bit of lawyer bashing to boot!! I am, of course, shocked that the mere mention of the Learned Profession should bring forth such unhealthy attitudes. Are you not familiar with the famous quote by Patton: "I only joined the army because I wasn't smart enough to get into law school." Here is where we stand, lads. Each of you is being entered into the Lawyer Victim Database, and will be contacted shortly. I will make every attempt to give you a choice of gaming thrills. However, I do get the feeling from reading your posts that some of you are worried about laying your mitts on the treasured prizes, apparently under the misguided notion that you will actually win. HA! It will take a better lot than you to pry them from my fingers. But if the worst occurs, I have the listed loot and MORE to guarantee a satisfying pay-off. A Special Note to Dick Reece: Antsy, aren't we Herr Reece (IF that's your real name). Perhaps you "lost" one of your patients last night at the hospital. "Mistakes" do happen in the medical industry that keep lawyers in the money. Or perhaps the rampant inbreeding in the hollers of your home state has altered your patience gene. Worry not! The Lawyer is on the job to make your gaming experience more humiliating through research, study, and applied genius. The wings of death shall visit you shortly. In the meantime, you can always get in your pick-up, drive 40 miles to a paved road, and blast holes in some highway signs to celebrate the Sabbath. Cheers to all. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect....

I want to play some QB's using Attack, Assault, and Probe. The CM manual says the computer will assign different force levels to match the defender and attacker fairly. But it doesn't explain what these force balance changes are, of if they are sufficient. Do I need to add extra strength points to the attacker in my QB set-up to achieve fairness in QB, or does the computer assign sufficient extra forces to make it a fair fight? What is customary in PBEM games? What are the differences between Attack, Assault, and Probe battles? Thanks for any help. I've got some PBEM victims waiting, and I do want to treat them fairly. ------------------ Just call me Lucifer 'cause I'm in need of some respect... [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 09-16-2000).]

Combat Mission is the best and most realistic wargame ever. Moreover, Mad Matt and the other mod artists are making it even better everyday. But, mein herren und damen, one key element of real warfare is missing.... War booty! That's right, there's no actual plunder, swag, or boodle in CM to motivate your troops, enrichen your coffers, and show your neighbors in order to flaunt your victories. The best you can get from CM right now is a poetic taunt from Senachai or the pleasure of seeing Peng humbled once again, but where's the cash value of such rewards? Well, here's my offer to supply the missing element of avarice to your CM gameplay. Yes, now you can experience the thrill of ill-gotten reward through violence that has driven soldiers and entire armies since Cain first waxed Abel. All you need to do is Beat the Lawyer at PBEM to take home some loot! IF you win, I will send you one of my prize personal treasures in the mail. I will even pay the postage. What a deal! Interested?? Do I hear the sound of greedy lips smacking across the land? If so, then read the contest rules below. But first, let's have a look at what Lawyer is offering to whet your rapacious desires... Prize No. 1 -- "From Hell to Victory" video, where a group of "closely-knit friends" are torn apart by WW2. Truly epic in scope, covering the entire war from 1939 Paris to 1945 allied victory. Like all quality videos, it starts with a warning to adjust your VCR tracking if the picture doesn't work (it does work). This treasure has an approximate cash value of $2.99 plus tax at Best Buy, but it is surely more valuable to true war movie fans. Lawyer's Movie Review: "From Hell to Victory" is so bad that it's good. It has every movie cliche ever seen, including predictable dialogue, black jacket Gestapo agents, stereotype French resistance fighters, garbled soundtrack music, and post-war U.S. training aircraft and tanks posing as Nazi weapons. It even features a poor man's version of the Dunkirk beach battle for "Saving Prvate Ryan" junkies. Low budget works here, gentlemen, just like it does in "Casablanca". "Basically, the story is that George Peppard (Banacek-era) and George Hamilton (tanned, fit, and ready as always) win the war with some help from Eddie Albert (Green Acres) and Capucine (the princess in the original "Pink Panther"). Poor Horst Bucholtz (whatever happened to Horst?) plays the German loser in both love and war. "Peppard features his trademark 'three martinis too many' bleary-eyed look, while Hamilton does the best 'Frenchy' routine since Jerry Lewis. Forget 'Patton'. War movies don't get any better or worse than this." Prizes No. 2 to whenever I get enough PBEM games -- Your choice of Half-Life, SimCity 3000, Close Combat 2, Hidden & Dangerous, Mig Alley, East Front, Return to Krondor, BattleZone, Quake II, or Unreal. These games represent my various attempts to find game satisfaction before CM. They may or may not have cash value depending upon your personal taste, but I guarantee they are all worthy of getting for FREE to hang in your trophy case as proof of your victory in CM PBEM. CONTEST RULES: 1. I play for fun using realistic weapons and tactics to the extent I know them. So must you. No cheap jeep rushes or uber-tank fests. 2. You must have a sense of humor and put up with my coarse attempts at humor. Sorry, no exceptions. 3. We play Version 1.05, either manageable QB or established scenarios, and try to make at least one turn per day. 4. We don't "disappear" when things get tough on the battle front. You don't get any booty unless you earn it, just like real life. 5. Contest is limited to U.S. residents, or maybe Canada since its close. I'm too cheap to mail something to Timbuktu where some of you guys live (and apparently don't get mail from the U.S. anyway from what I read about CM deliveries). 6. Game-play decisions are mutual, but Lawyer will make all prize decisions arbitrarily and capriciously. Hey, you get what you pay for! But I promise you will get something I value greatly. hehehe.... 7. If there is a stampede, I reserve the right to choose who I shall play. First winners will get first choice of prizes listed above until they are gone. Of course, that's only IF you win. MOST IMPORTANTLY!! To enter the Lawyer PBEM sweepstakes, please explain below on this thread which prize you seek, and why you believe you are worthy to win it. Well, that's the challenge and the potential rewards for a little PBEM action. I could have had a yard sale, but this seems to be far more of a contribution to wargame history. My email is jake3315@yahoo.com Play for pride, play for country, and play for greed. After all, what good is war without a little booty? ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

I agree with all the above. However, nobody has mentioned good hardware books for someone new who wants to learn the basics regarding the machines in CM. I have bought several, and highly recommend George Forty's "German Tanks of WWII" if you want to get a good understanding of each of the German tanks in WWII for $18. Good pictures and war accounts too. I also like the bound Classic Motorworks books on Sherman, Panther, and Tiger for about $15 each at Amazon. More interesting and informative overall (I think) than overpriced Osprey booklets that are less descriptive and harder to read.

Pham911, You seem to think that we on the CM forum must choose between accepting either provocative sex or "SS" style posters. Why? Why should we accept either one of them, or any other offensive handles? BTS runs the board, but the community sets the standards by speaking up. Thoughtful contributors are taken seriously by others regarding military matters, game-related humor, etc. So far, I have not seen any persons using intentionally provocative handles who have given the forum useful information or entertainment. M. Bates, Thank you for considering the distracting nature of your previous handle and changing to a new one. Perhaps from now on your posts will be evaluated on their merits only. Cheers. ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

Bug(er) off! I'm tired of the "cute" sex and political names and threads that aren't cute at all. They aren't even interesting, yet they feel a need to regularly post on the CM forum. If you want a serious answer MB, get a decent handle. No cheers to you until then.

Having just read some about the JgPzIV, I agree. It would be nice to have some choice.

Why do some folks who say they are leaving hang around to talk about it instead of just leaving? Reminds me of some old girlfriends... The leaving is the thing, not the talking about it. Just do it. I'm here until I leave. ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

I may be the only male in America who reads directions for everything... except sex and drinking. ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

mmmmmm.... beer. It's what's for dinner. ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

I subscribe to PC Gamer. They favor the games on store shelves that place ads with them. Trotter is good, but he serves his master (paycheck). Congrats to Wild Bill as a guy who does it best and does it for love. Money can't buy me love, and love sure don't attract money. But it sure is best. ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

Yeah, I agree I'm freakin' great, Barrold. You did mean ALL us guys readin' here, right? Well, you're correct on all accounts, except sex. Wimmen most likely aren't playin' CM. If they are, you better watch out! ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

Panzershark simply said that he isn't learning anything anymore. That's understandable for someone who has been with CM for a while and has learned what we talk about here. It seems like a normal evolution to me. I'm still learning a lot, so I am willing to put up with some tripe to get the good stuff, of which there is much. I don't get the feeling JP or anyone specific drove Panzershark away. Maybe after a while I will feel this forum isn't worth the time anymore. That happened for me at the EAW forum after several months of reading the same basic topic threads. The CM forum is very useful for what it does well, but you could spend your entire evenings just trying to keep up with all the threads. At some point, you need to ask if it is worth it. For Panzershark, apparently, it isn't. I'll check out your site, Panzershark. Cheers [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 09-04-2000).]

Count me as another Gunslinger fan. I just love what talented people can do. ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....

Thanks, Matt. I've been waiting patiently for MM2. Check out what Tiger and Gunslinger are doing for your next mods. Cheers ------------------ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you....