Seanachai

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak: Tribes was my major addiction until CM came out and was just wondering. You can hurl trash at me now. Lorak<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> flung grapefruit rinds, coffee grounds, potato peels I like you, Lorak, so I refrained from pitching the used tissues and chicken skin. Don't make me regret my restraint.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak: Sigh.. What a boring week at the McGarvey household. Through some strange twist of fate I wasn't brought up as Catholic. Oh No! I am one of those Irish-Moravians. What the hell is that you ask? No one knows. some strange Bastard thought it would be funny to grow up Irish and go to a German based church. What it means to me is this. Getting up in the middle of the night and wandering around the graveyard until sun-rise. Lorak the loathed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I don't know that I'll be able to sleep for the rest of the week thinking about this. It's simply dreadful. Apparently Lorak is one of the Undead, and I shudder to think what he's doing in that damn graveyard. I thought even the Carolinas had laws and such.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Is anyone else troubled by the fact that we are forced to move on after 200 posts, and yet the Further Pointless Michinegun Crap thread continues? ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes. We are clearly treated differently. But most probably because we SIMPLY WILL NOT GO AWAY. The undeniably stupid machinegun threads come and go. We are here for the rest of the millenium, and as such, cannot be granted any goddamn slack at all. Give the Cesspool an inch, and watch it suck down your pets and family. I like to think that the continuance of the ever-mindless machinegun threads and their ilk is a lip-curled, laughing, dismissive slap in the face. They show up, any number of fools posture, pose, and preen to the disgust of the entire community, and they fade away. But the Peng Challenge Thread cannot be treated lightly. Because the Peng Challenge Thread is in it for the long run. It's here to stay. It must be religiously controlled, or run rampant and quite horrifying. When I first posted to the Peng Challenge Thread, I thought like a child, I taunted like a child, I acted like a child; when I became a Cesspooler, I gave up childish ways.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: SIT DOWN BAUHAUS!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Say it now, and say it loud I'm St.Bauhaus, an' I'm sitting proud!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: Guiness is a kind of beer, right?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You earless low-life scum, Guinness is a kind of breakfast food; not so greasy as eggs, nor as filling as potatos, but rather like a fine, full-bodied, liquid form of toast.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Sometimes ... I find myself recalling with fondness the first few faltering steps of MY loyal and trustworthy squire Agua Perdido when first HE entered the pool and I think of what he might have become without my guidance and encouragement. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What he would have become, you toad, is my squire, and then he might have had some sort of hope for a life that didn't involve longing for death to free him from your gassy posts. Still, Shaw, you are, in fact, a Knight of the Cesspool; one of the originals, I might add. And maybe it's just the whiskey and lovely strains of the band Ossian speaking, but Shaw, I desire you to die last. Or at least, right near the end. Unlike the first few pages of the present incarnation, which are filled with posts by people I hope die horribly before the sun rises tomorrow morning. [ 04-15-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by -E: I HATE the online thermometer bar placement!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Er, stop inserting it, then. Use an oral one.

And on the odd, and only occasional, serious Peng Challenge Thread post, member in good standing Von Shrad has posted a general Board post to his opponents, an apology on turns because his Dad has suffered a stroke. Wander on by and give him a reassuring slap, or send him some email. Such as we are, we take care of our own.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy: Hey whats going on isn't our lease up yet?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shut up, Speedy, you wank! We're attempting to discover if the New (horribly and startlingly bright) Board allows the Peng Challenge Thread to resume its deserved position of posting preeminence (or at least go beyond the useless 10 page/250 post limit).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: Well bonjour! Froggy, I'm mensch the local...uh.. dealer I got pbems onnastick if your looking for that but I'd be cutting me own neck if I give it any cheeper. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Perfect. Cut-Me-Own-Throat-Mensch. It fits you. Welcome Frog fella. But you are not The French. They date The Scot. Still, all the best. How 'bout that Jerry Lewis, eh?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by von shrad: I am very sorry for the lack of turns but things have been pretty bad for me this past week. My father suffered a mild stroke and had to undergo some major surgery,hence the complete absence. I wanted to e-mail you guys but have been away from my computer and really had other things on my mind. If I owe you a turn please drop me a line because I am having a hard time figuring out who's turn it is. Again sorry, vs<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shrad, lad, you were already in my thoughts because I was wondering if I owed you a turn, and now you and your father are both in my thoughts and I hope the Universe owes you both a break. I hope your Da' is okay and recovers well; and I hope you're alright yourself. I will resend our last turn so you have it, but don't sweat small things like this; take care of yourself and your family. Our game will always be around when this hard time passes. Luck, life, and best wishes. [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Now, currently I am playing a thoroughly huge number of people. Or rather, those rather like people, although many are insufficiently evolved enough to actually deserve the apellative 'people'. But there are those within these hallowed and rather moist and tacky halls that I feel the need to meet in single combat. So, should these same souls have a slot open in the next few days when a few of my current games run down, or should they just wish to set lance in rest against their better, I would make point as follows: It is unacceptable that the One, True, and Thoroughly Despised Lawyer of the Peng Challenge Thread, that is, JD Morse (sod all this sporty jd ****e, the useless bugger will always be 'Morse' to me) and I have only managed to achieve a rather disturbing pattern of 'Draws'. There Can Be Only One (this must be said in a rather strangely 'Peter Lorre' sort of voice. I have it on good authority). Therefore, at his convenience, the Artiste formerly and eternally known as JD Morse should send me a setup, in which some sort of resolution must be sought. Now, proceeding to the 'New Chums' (and I am, of course, using 'chum' not so much in the way of 'friend' as 'oily, partially decayed and bloody fish entrails scattered upon the water in the hopes of achieving larger and much more significant prey') I also desire, at some point in time, a game against Marlow. This one has been coming. It is time to face the end of your River Journey, lad. Also, when Foobar and Roborat are through trying to kill each other while weeping disconsolately on each other's shoulders over the horror of a scenario they were given to work through, I would be quite pleased to show them what snivelling little flutterbugs they are, and teach them a new meaning to the word 'pain'. That's right, having to read my email exchanges while we swap turns. Finally, in the New, Open, Accepting Spirit of the Peng Challenge Thread, I would like to say to everyone else who wants to play me: take your temperature with your finger, and then suck on it like a popsicle stick. Oh, except Shandorf. You should in fact do the finger/popsicle stick thing, but I will play you again as soon as you have time.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Ooooroighty then! So be it! I propose he be banished to a place of eternal torment, like Seanichi's sock drawer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Stuka. Stuka, Stuka, Stuka, my soft plushy toy, rather stained with too much cuddling by too many children bereft of handkerchiefs. I thought to present you with a manly dismissal, but I cannot find anything in your post on which to hang anything but scorn, and a feeling of sadness that the Commonwealth has come to this. You 'fear' my sock drawer? Even Freud would wander away from this one, shaking his head and spitting loudly and vulgarly on the sidewalk. We all delighted in your 'elf' or 'Charlian' ears. It was a wonderfully whimsical moment in the Peng Challenge Thread, which is normally so wound up with attempts at taunting and people sputtering and justifying their own lack of playing skills, that the thought of you running into a head-wind and taking flight, like some odd cross between Dumbo and the Flying Nun, was a much enjoyed moment of levity here in the Thread. In a word, lad, we laughed our arses off at you. I beg you, Stuka, desist from the 'gamey' humour references, which are beginning to sound just a bit smugly defensive. Return to naked skydiving, which, however aggressively 'thingy' oriented, stirred the imaginations of our more primitive members (Sit Do- sod it all for a game of tin soldiers, jump up and get all jiggy with it, Bauhaus!). And Stuka, lad. Stay out of my sock drawer. The thought of you going through them is putting me right off my food. [ 04-10-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: I would like to formally charge David Ohmyaikenhead with cheating. He somehow was able to, thru telpathy is my guess right now, get into my head and cause me to do things I would never consider doing on my own (sit down bauhaus). That's my story and I'm sticking to it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm sorry, but it's pretty much apparent to all on this Thread that the only thing, Elvis, that makes it's way to your head and influences your behaviour is whatever new form of ethyl alcohol you and Peng have found, whether by ragpicking, or distilling your cats' urine mixed with raisins and potato peels. Which reminds me, why have you and Peng discontinued shipping me communion wine?

SHAW!? Art there, old mole? You're right, lad, the Thread is as dull as stale dog****e. The very same quivering gang of little rodents who would, if given occassion, rise up onto their haunches and proclaim us 'dull', have seemingly puffed themselves up and begun to crawl about chittering their imagined virtues and abilities as though they were buying. I gave them, Shaw, as you will note, every opportunity. I labeled the both of us 'dull', to encourage their own achievements and natural rebellion. I absented myself for many days, like a parent intent on finding out how they would handle themselves, if thrown upon their own devices. WHAT I FOUND IS THAT THE MOST OF THEM, POSTING ENDLESSLY AND UNINTELLIGENTLY, ARE: USELESS. DULL. INANE, AND ALMOST MAGICALLY HALF-WITTED! Shaw, the gods know that you are a tedious and irritating individual. Boring springs to mind, or at least it would, if I hadn't read some of the useless ****e that's been posted by our younger and clearly less capable members since we absented ourselves from the Thread. I would have liked to suppose that you were, in fact, boring. But I can't escape the fact that what I find, on my return , is tedium delivered up with a bad smell, and without salt. I grow old, I grow old I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled... I would like to think, Shaw, that we could, we Old Ones, eventually leave these annoying little ****es to their own devices, and have them make us proud. I see some signs of hope, indeed I do. But not yet enough. They will always have the Devil, of course, raining smoke upon them and challenging them without concern for who wins and who loses, because Satan always wins, by the very nature of the challenge, and their victories are a sham, forgotten as soon as the smoke dissipates. They will always have Peng, of course, because I have given them the concept of Peng, and raised it up to be their measure what it is to taunt. Peng himself, of course, pisses upon the useless little swine from quite a great height. And, Joe, they will always have us. For, as you know, 'Seanachai' means storyteller, or bard. The bard of the Peng Challenge Thread. And therein lies the power of the 'Seanachai'. For he records the deeds of heroes, the passage of those who come after. And lately, it's been a bit goddamn thin. Not many heroes, and certainly not many interesting dolphins chattering by the fish-bucket. I await their future progress with interest. As 'boring' as I might be, the validation of their participation will seperate the 'hopeful' from the merely 'useless'. I am, without fear of rebuttal, the 'Darwin' of the Peng Challenge Thread. And you, Shaw...well, you're a roight bastard, now aren't you? Selah.

To say the least, the new appearance of the Board (provided it's not, in fact some sort of flashback/visual anomaly) is a cruel trick to play on a man who, when he last bothered to keep count, had done hallucinogens enough times to qualify as 'legally insane' by the definition of many state legislatures. It's white. It's very white. It's so very goddman white. WHY DOES THE GODDAMN BACKGROUND HAVE TO BE SO GODDAMN WHITE?!! I'm glad I've made my way back here. Just in this, most recent Thread incarnation it is all too clear that the Old Ones need to reasser their guidance. Kudos to Aitken, who's displayed a greater IQ range than the cumulative total of 3 full pages of the most recent posting (other than his musical appreciation, which remains deeply suspect. I am not quite sanguine about David's musical orientation. Having just acquired a new 'Ossian' CD this day, I feel it imperative that people like David be brought back into some sort of fold). Now, when we get right down to it, WE CAN ONLY FECKING HOPE THAT THE TRANSITION TO THIS HORRIBLE, UGLY, AND DID I MENTION, OVERLY BRIGHT BOARD VISUAL will allow the Peng Challenge Thread to resume it's required, deserved, and indisputable pre-emminence by allowing it to go beyond the rather arbitrary and annoyingly stupid 10 page/250 some posts limit, and once again soar over the heads of cowering sub-rodents. Oh, and Meeks's cousin: Harpooner, is it? You're a pre-eminent subnormal. Now, it is all too clear that you're using a dictionary. Not, as you should be, to actually verify your spelling abilities, but rather to use words that would never, otherwise, enter your lexicon. And while I applaud the attempts of anyone to 'bootstrap' themselves up to the level of a gopher on the level playing field of the Peng Challenge Thread, I can't help but feel that you are an idjit. A patchwork individual. You show no proper respect. Prove me wrong. Consult your cousin, if need be, and determine the choices you must make if you wish to be taken as a serious contender, rather than the Peng Challenge Thread equivalent of the boll weevil, just looking for a home in which to prove how useless and destructive you can be.

Good God, Meeks, is that your cousin? He's a gibbering idiot. My condolences to the family. You're a freaking lunatic swine,Elijah, but at least you post well. Couldn't you take him in hand, or something? He's probably just going to hurt himself. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

Er, in the spirit of 'I don't know quite what' and to his own utter humiliation, Mace has posted a recording of his last carnal encounter. I say, shouldn't we be starting up a benefit fund for his poor wife, or something? Maybe send her to Bangkok for her Holiday? ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

Now then, Joe, it ill becomes you to so show your fear over the outcome of this honest, straightforward query that you've already begun deriding it. That's the mark of fear, Old Foul Joe. The act of one who knows, in his heart, that the thumbs shall go down (here, is Bauhaus back yet? It just doesn't seem right using some Aussie temp agency) on his ability to engage the intellect of the readers. So, you feel that my challenge has generated little interest so far? It's never occured to you that here in the Peng Challenge Thread that only repeated, clearly stated, and, did I mention, oft-repeated questions, register at all on the inhabitants? I shall persevere until even the thickest and most drooling Peng Challenge Thread member realizes that a question has been put to him. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

Thank you, you 'damning with faint praise' toad. I've always like you as well. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

Yes, Fair One, there are those (hear it not, thou gods) that find my posts boring. They are not quite right in the head, as we know. Like that idjit that showed up to compare both Shaw and myself to 'ditchwater'(doubtless the tonic he drinks each morning so as to make his own continued existence seem less dreadful by comparison). Of course, we welcome his showing up to villify boring ****es from the main Board. It's all about calumny, on the Peng Challenge Thread. Might I say that both Shaw, dreadfully dull as we all know him to be, and myself, piss upon this individual from a considerable height. The syncopated beat of our urine splashing off his hollow and empty skull makes for...well, rather a calypso sound. Dayo! Daylight come, and me want to go home! Pleasant, but, as you and I both know, Maiden of the North, not as satisfying as bagpipes. First when ah' come to Glasgow toon the Hieland troops were a' before me and the bonniest lass in the town I saw she lived in Glasgow, they called her Emma ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues [This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 04-01-2001).]

Here, JD and Lawyer fella, we should look into this. We should set up licensing agreements, so that 'legitimate threads that actually discuss something that isn't completely useless ****e and are unmitigated wallows for the most mindless posters on the Board' bear the trademarked Peng™ of approval in the subject line. Could be a source of income we could use to try and bribe the Moderators into letting the bloody thread go to at least 500 posts before they kick us out like a bloody group of tinkers. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

Well, clearly the Honeymoon is over, and the weirdness has reached disturbing levels. Here, one of the young, well-groomed, and attractive members of the Thread stand by to console Stuka's wife when this comes out in court. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

No, it should have been: "All your Challenges are belong to Peng" And, may I also say, that despite my ranting over the naming convention quibble, that I find the PeterNZer's choice of that unutterably bizarre website as the inspiration for the new Peng Challenge Thread name completely hilarious. I desire him to die much later than many of the rest of you. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

Hmm, in a recent exchange of emails with the tendentious Joe Shaw, or, as I affectionately think of him 'Old Foul Joe', we had a bit of a go around as to which of the Peng Challenge Thread posters is the most boring. I maintain, of course, that Joe Shaw could Bore for America in the Olympics, should it ever become an event, while Shaw claims that my wordy, over-educated (in an American sort of way, not true education, mind), and obscure posts often reduce nearby posts to the level of boring by proximity. I, then, quite rightly pointed out that Mr Shaw's posts, especially if they go beyond 3 sentences, often fill the reader with a sense of ennui that takes away the very will to live. Shaw countered that the few individuals who actually read any of my posts all the way to the end most often voluntarily chose the loss of higher cerebral function, and ended up as shut-ins watching endless reruns of Gilligan's Island and Three's Company, as they found more challenging entertainment painful. From there, of course, our intellectual discussion deteriorated somewhat to the grosser forms of name-calling. So, I wish to put this to the Peng Challenge Thread community: Which of us, Seanachai or Joe Shaw, do the members find more boring? Or do you have a third, write-in candidate in mind? You can simply vote, or, if stringing words together isn't too much of a challenge, you can explain not only who you find more boring, but why. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues