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Peng Challenges the Outre Board to a Zimmerit Coated Zimmer Race!


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As far as we know the only game you play might as well be "Pull the Finger."

Well, given that "what you know" wouldn't in any case fill a gnat's thimble, that's not altogether surprising, is it? Being in a generous mood this morning, I am going to give you a bit of information, so pay attention. I know that focusing is difficult for you, but bear down hard and give it a good try. You'll be glad you did later, okay? Ready?

In my time I have played literally scores of games, amounting almost to a hundred. Granted that the majority of them were boardgames, still nearly all were of a military nature and all involved being able to develop successful strategies and tactics. I am no stranger to the process.

There now, that wasn't so hard was it? You may now return to your usual pastime of drooling while playing with your toes.

Michael

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In my time I have played literally scores of games, amounting almost to a hundred. Granted that the majority of them were boardgames, still nearly all were of a military nature and all involved being able to develop successful strategies and tactics. I am no stranger to the process.

Michael

But did you ever win any of them? See, Michael that is, if you will excuse the expression, the proof of the pudding (An expression I dearly hate, btw). Developing tactics that get all your little men killed is not something to proudly spout. Or even spoudly prout.

And really, can you call it tactics when your plan is "Run inna cave. Hit Groud wif rock. Steal bear meat. Run outta cave. Eat meat!"?

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But did you ever win any of them?

All but one. There was a game of Panzerblitz I conceded back in 1973 because my platoon of Panthers couldn't reach a point that was critical to my defense. My opponent was ecstatic; it was the only game he ever won against me.

And really, can you call it tactics when your plan is "Run inna cave. Hit Groud wif rock. Steal bear meat. Run outta cave. Eat meat!"?

Now that's just silly. Have you no pride, man?

Michael

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All but one. There was a game of Panzerblitz I conceded back in 1973 because my platoon of Panthers couldn't reach a point that was critical to my defense. My opponent was ecstatic; it was the only game he ever won against me.

...and that was the first and last time you played Panzerblitz.

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Granted that the majority of them were boardgames ...

Exactly Michael, and we all know what's required to play boardgames don't we ... other than a card table that is ... that's right, an almost slavish devotion to the

minutiae of the printed rulebook and a mind more suited to grading papers than any tactical ability.

Joe

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The Zimmerit coating is a design feature to assist with retrofitting.

I'm sure we must all be grateful that you shared this with us, but can you give us some idea of how often we can expect these non sequitur outbursts from you? I want to make sure I don't miss anything. They're almost entertaining.

Michael

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I'm sure we must all be grateful that you shared this with us, but can you give us some idea of how often we can expect these non sequitur outbursts from you? I want to make sure I don't miss anything. They're almost entertaining.

Michael

non sequitur? It was an explanation imediately following a post that must have lent some wonder to the casual peruser; that's about as sequitur as it gets, Michael. Truthfully, it was meant as a help - now you know what to do with what Santa puts in your stocking this year.

I think Emrys is developing a crush on costard

Ooh really, could I possibly hope for more?

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...{snipped because I couldn't see that anyone who'd had to read this nonsense once should be subjected to reading it again.} ...

Ooh really, could I possibly hope for more?

Perhaps you could but remember lad that hope is not a strategy ... if you want to make it happen you must take proactive steps to ensure that it does.

I'm sure that virtually any issue of Cosmopolitan would have any number of tips you could try ... or perhaps a recent issue of Rubber Suit and Whip magazine ... we are talking about Michael after all.

Joe

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Perhaps you could but remember lad that hope is not a strategy ... if you want to make it happen you must take proactive steps to ensure that it does.

I'm sure that virtually any issue of Cosmopolitan would have any number of tips you could try ... or perhaps a recent issue of Rubber Suit and Whip magazine ... we are talking about Michael after all.

Joe

Ranchers' Weekly perhaps - cattle prods and spurs seem a little more on the proactive side. And I get to have fun too!

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