Distributing the Peng Challenge In Europe: No Rest for the Wicked

[Seanachai]

Ah, drawn in to see how the European Version of the Peng Challenge will be handled, eh?

Well, the normal, Peng Challenge "Welcome In Our Brothers" will, because of certain Real World Legal Constraints, continue to be rendered as: "Sod Off, you Annoying Halfwits".

Now, if you are a long time supporter of the Peng Challenge Thread, and cannot believe that the standing invitation to universal brotherhood and fellow feeling might needs give way to a hearty 'Sod Off', then you are living in a Fool's Paradise.

The truth is, we have been telling people to 'Sod Off' within months of the release of CMBO.

Many of them continued to show up anyways.

Legislation here within the Peng Challenge Thread requires of us that the following behaviours be maintained:

When you arrive, pick out someone, preferably someone as dedicated to the freedom to abuse and taunt others as yourself, but not someone who must, because of rulings from the Justicariate, remain forever above you, and challenge them to a game.

Taunt Them. While doing so, sound off like you've got a pair. Rules of the Peng Challenge Thread forbid members from taking up challenges by idjits who challenge everyone in general. There is nothing we can do about this, as it is the law.

Do not sound off about your pair, and do not make references that might target any given group with hateful references or belittlement, except, occassionaly and with a right good sense of fun, the Canadians, the Australians, the Anyone In or From Texas, the Mormons, the French Legume, Certain Species of Aquatic Fowl, and anyone so sodding stupid as to think we give a rip.

Cherish each other. You will never have the opportunity to hate people, and to let them know that you hate them, like you will here. So each awful failure of the human species that you encounter should be like a brother. In any right thinking, correctly run society, you would be jailed for the feelings that you will embrace here with all reverence.

Finally, when it gets right down to it, we don't need or want any of you. We can sell this Thread for millions to vicious arseholes like Bill Gates. In fact, we get requests from him weekly, begging us to sell the complete rights to the Peng Challenge Thread for immense sums of money, not to mention huge tracts of land.

We never give in. Why? Because being the most hateful and iconoclastic wargaming Thread on any Forum is important to us.

We could go for the money, but we don't. We would rather hate each and every one of you stupid swine to the exact extant that you deserve. Because, by doing so, we feel that we enrich the entire Wargaming Community.

[ July 11, 2002, 03:45 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Stuka]

Get thee to Canada young lad!

[lcm1947]

Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't have two Peng threads at one time. I'm telling Madmatt.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by lcm1947:

Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't have two Peng threads at one time. I'm telling Madmatt.

Beloved and mentally damaged visitor to the Peng Challenge Thread:

Doubtless the fact that you currently reside in Texas, marking you as almost magically halfwitted, explains your inability to recognize this as the 'Changing of the Guard'.

One Peng Challenge Thread retires to the barracks of History, while the other takes up position to await individuals staggering in who are even more idiotic than yourself.

Your post is deeply valued by the Peng Challenge Thread.

You, however, are a bottom-feeder, and we're tossing dynamite into the pond in order to bring you to the surface.

[lcm1947]

Yeah, well in your face. Bottom feeder yourself. I will also have you know Mr. Smarty that not everybody in Texas is dimwitted so there.

Now let me get out of here before I get something on me.

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by lcm1947:

not everybody in Texas is dimwitted

In that case, the smart ones must be really twisted. Can't put a finger on which you are though.

Tell ya what. If you want us to lay off you, take a hair dryer, preferably a high powered professional salon model, break into the Disney cryogenics lab and thaw out the old man himself. Nurse him, hold him when he has the shakes, spoonfeed him babyfood, and when he's strong enough bring him in here so that we can discuss terms for a Major Animated Release based on this very thread. If you can swing that then we'll talk.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by lcm1947:

not everybody in Texas is dimwitted

Just the lucky ones.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by lcm1947:

Yeah, well in your face. Bottom feeder yourself. I will also have you know Mr. Smarty that not everybody in Texas is dimwitted so there.

Now let me get out of here before I get something on me.

He's correct Seanachai... some (that's some mind you) of the tourists are not dimwitted

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Yeknod o' tha Thistle:

*sniff* of course its all down to yer expert tutelage, me swift and shiny boot. The finely-tuned quests that led from one revelation to another, the night-long debates over small points of language, the exemplary skills at taunting and martial feats upon the field.

*sigh*... now if only Harv were given the same attention and correct instruction? What cruel fate. One can only watch the lad's eagerness turn to confusion... *sniff*... and, well, what next, eh? The record is not good. But he might pull through. Being a Cannuck and used to hardships the frozen and uninhabitable desolation of Joe's company may be survivable, though I see no igloos or blubber chewing. *sniff*

Needless to say, if the Justaexcruciate were to attend the paddock I could fit him to do some pre-evaluation before a really good work-out. Harv may attend too, there's value in dealing with couples and the lad may get some relief as the Justicar comes under me instruction.

and

Ha, yer dare to spout and clamour yer shiftless monger. I shall make yer bow and scrape before me gods and, for yer insolence, EXTRA skulking, sneaking and V-E-E-E-E-R-R-R-R-Y thoughtful turns are yer lot.

Twit.

Damn! I knew he was senior knight material. We got anything above senior knight?

[rune]

Seniletea ,

Are you as witless as the Justicar himself? Is this thread NOT about the game, nor about how the t34/76 has 82mm of armor ar 60 degrees...Nay [That's No for you Canadians], it is about THE TAUNT.

I have sent Joebob a quick battle, and await his reply. What? He doesn't have the game? Now THAT is the pinnacle of taunting. In the words of Peng himself:

"Blllllleeeaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh"

So Bard , trumpet the ultimate taunt, celebrate Joebob's lack of wit, and as Elvis would put it mildly:

"Wankers"

Buzzsaw, Buzzsaw, me serf. The fair Lady still awaits your photo. Did I not say no excuses? Penance shall be.....hmmmm......

BERLI! , you got anything exceedingly evil that we can toss at the poor lad? Other then someone's bloated corpse? Got anyone who need a quick draw over me serf?

Also young serf, I await you latest tale of a battle.

Rune

[ July 11, 2002, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: rune ]

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Alright Olde Ones, time to drag your feeble carcasses out of the bottle and do some work for a change.

Rune just doesn't seem to Get it. I've tried my best to explain that he can have Buzzsaw (spelt but not bolded) when and IF he is declared worthy of being made Squire. Until then he's a Serf of the entire CessPool. Now comes YOUR part in this whole mess.

Kindly explain to this poor, wayward fool the facts of life regarding Squires, Serfs and so forth. Thank you for you attention to this important matter.

Generally, when the lads get to arguing, I just knock their heads together

[Lars]

You may not be hearing from Shaw right away. I could have sworn I saw him on the news last night. He was being led off by the police for flashing an airport screener. I think his exact words were to drop trou, bend over and say "You better search this!"

My Liege makes me proud again to be under his tutelage.

Maybe Seanachai should try it on a border guard.

[ July 11, 2002, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: Lars ]

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Lars:

He was being led off by the police for flashing an airport screener.

What, again? So much for the concept of rehabilitation.

[Patchy]

I have proof that Harv really is Joe's imaginary rabbit Squire. Look at that fake piccy! We all know there can't possibly be a real rabbit that is as scary looking as that thing standing next to Joe.

I bet Joe and Harv are really the same person. Joe pretends he is going out of town and then he logs on as Harv and pretends he is Joe's Squire so he can spy on all of us. Yes...that's it.

Persephone

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Persephone:

I bet Joe and Harv are really the same person. Joe pretends he is going out of town and then he logs on as Harv and pretends he is Joe's Squire so he can spy on all of us. Yes...that's it.

That is really twisted

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

We got anything above senior knight?

Lunch Lady? Janitor? Proctologist?

( Stop me if you hear one you like, I'm just spit ballin'.)

Honey Dipper? Rodeo Clown? Lawyer?

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

We got anything above senior knight?

Lunch Lady? Janitor? Proctologist?

( Stop me if you hear one you like, I'm just spit ballin'.)

Honey Dipper? Rodeo Clown? Lawyer?</font>

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

I thought we'd run all the lawyers out on a rail, except for MrSpkr, but he doesn't count. They don't teach arithmetic at law skool.

Only the important math, Sneezy, only the important math.

I can compute my 40% contingency fee faster than any calculator on the planet.

Steve

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

I bet Joe and Harv are really the same person. Joe pretends he is going out of town and then he logs on as Harv and pretends he is Joe's Squire so he can spy on all of us. Yes...that's it.

That is really twisted</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

I can compute my 40% contingency fee faster than any calculator on the planet.

Steve

You guys are up to 40%? Wow.

Pretty soon you'll be right up there with pimps. Percentage-wise that is.

Ethically, I don't think you'll ever catch up.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Why is G. Gordon Liddy dressed like a Playboy bunny and standing with his arm around Old Joe?

Steve

[Joe Shaw]

From Thesarus.com: donkey found in 2 items.

Fool

Excerpt: "... simpleton, witling, dizzard, donkey, ass; ninny, ninnyhammer..."

Well that about sums it up I think. I certainly can't understand Berli's passion for the lad, it's obvious that he bribed (note Peng's reference to booze) the other Olde Ones to go along with him in the elevation of Yeknodathon to Seniour Knight.

Now attend me, I have no great dislike for the lad (unlike some ... well, okay, MOST here) but I can only assume that he's something of an acquired taste and I'll let it go with that. That AND a warning to the lad, he is, granted, a Seniour Knight, but he is the most JUNIOR of Junior Seniour Knights. With more seasoning (thyme perhaps?) he MAY rise to the rank of Seniour Seniour Knight but he must remember that I, by decree of the Olde Ones am the most Seniour of Seniour Knights and am, therefore, THE Seniour Seniour Seniour Knight.

Further I would advise the lad that, having raised three (soon to be four) fine young squires to the ranks of Knighthood, I know a GREAT deal more about the art than any here. As to his alleged tutoring, I saw no papers, no seminars attended, no powerpoint displays. In short I saw NEGLECT! Another latchkey squire left to fend for himself and forced to pick up his CessPool knowledge behind the barn.

"psssttt, didja know that Berli posts in the nude? Yeah, got it from a Squire of his, fair put him off his feed it did."

Speaking of assignments, Harv, when you're done winnowing the chaff (or whatever it is you DO with wheat) I'd like three presentation, each to be say 10 minutes with powerpoint slides and handouts on the subjects of: MrPeng, Myth or Mythed the Mark., then Surly Berli, Beneath the Facade ... More Facade and finally Seanachai, Will The U.S. Let Him Back?

Remember lad ... Enunciate and Project!

Fionally (GET IT, Fionally? Man I crack myself up) Seanachai is quite correct in one sense but tragically wrong in another. No Knight of the CessPool may ever be forced or compelled to play another in ANY match, be it Blood Hamster or no. The Blood Hamster match, whilst having a long and distinguished history in the CessPool, may ONLY be played when agreed to by both parties and anyone may accept or refuse any match for any or no reason at all.

Naturally in the case of Rune, I could simply refuse because ... well, who would willing play him at ANY time? However, I shall agree to a Blood Hamster match ... IF Rune sends me a copy of the Beta CD for CMBB within 2 weeks (I'll be out of town next week).

Joe

[ July 11, 2002, 10:52 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

We got anything above senior knight?

Lunch Lady? Janitor? Proctologist?

( Stop me if you hear one you like, I'm just spit ballin'.)

Honey Dipper? Rodeo Clown? Lawyer?</font>

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Well that about sums it up I think. I certainly can't understand Berli's passion for the lad

It is best not to question (or even think about) these things.

Hamster match, whilst having a long and distinguished history in the CessPool, may ONLY be played when agreed to by both parties and anyone may accept or refuse any match for any or no reason at all.

Yes, you’ve a lot of practice at bravely running away, don’t you Sir Robin … er … Jo Xia?

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

I move to make Joe shut up by any means necessary.

Do I have a second?