Do I Challenge Peng or Wait for Roxy?

[Boo Radley]

Looks like I missed the entire Roxy Horror Picture Show.

Imagine my dismay. All the speculation was quite amusing, though.

Out of the eight people who sent me moves today, only one contained a movie and that one consisted of MrSpnkr blowing up my favorite Hetzer.

Needless to say, I hate you all.

Gits.

[Guest Mike]

Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Also i was under the assumption that everyone on this thread was treated the same and subjected to the same jokes and humor regardless of race, creed, or gender,

Except for you.

Because you are just not worth it.

And except for any persons of the female persuasion.

'cos there's a facade of civility 'bout this place that makes all the ijiots stop thinking properly through blood loss.

Not that I'm trynig to imply they have a brain to think with anyway of cours, but they do still somehow manage to get even more plonkerish.

Dorks - one and all.

I mean take Senileteabag for example. And don't bother to bring him back.

He's gone from a tree-hugging dork who actually said I was welcome here, to a defender of a lady's virtue.

So please, please, please take him - and store him somewhere he's never likely to get out of!! Like a Pizza Parlour.

[ August 06, 2002, 10:04 PM: Message edited by: Mike ]

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Joe Shaw i hope you can find away to smack some sense into these love sick Roxy groupies.

Here's a bit of advise for you. Actually learn something about this place before you shoot off your mouth. For a worthless SSN, you certainly have a wealth of ideas about what should or shouldn't be done here. Your posts have as much worth as the cat guts on Lars' boots. Your posts today look like a resumé for Coventry</font>

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Roxy:

I can't resist.

Grog Dorosh driving you crazy already? Has he shown you his, err, Panzer Pete yet?

Here's what you require:

Roxanne Marden

Jonesboro, Arkansas

RoxanneMarden842@hotmail.com

I see you guys are self moderating (the bad pimp joke). I'm impressed. Good job Joe Shaw and Berlichtingen; but I still think Joe is a meany.

Or a Mormon. Or a Mormon-wife picture toting cad. Not sure which.

What is my status here? Do I have to be a scum sucking newbie? After all, I finally took notice of the bold font thing.

Don't Ladies of the Realm (Persephone, Kitty?) have Ladies In Waiting or maidens to do their bidding? You know, something similar to the Knight/Squire thing?

Being a "serfer girl" might not be too bad, but a scum sucking newbie? Is that really necessary? I humbly await an answer from the powers that be. I fancy that would be The Bloated Ones, or maybe that meany Slow Squaw. I don't suppose there is any way Lady Persephone or Seanachai could have some input on the decision? I thought not. I await my lowly assignment in the Realm with resignation and humility. Cinderella comes to mind here. Poor Cinderella, doomed to servitude, at least for awhile... (sigh)....time to start scrubbing the castle floors....(sigh)

M'lady, I would propose that you be considered a Lady in Waiting of the One True Thread. Sort of a newbie status without the SSN bit.

Oh, and don't complain to loudly about the floors. You could be tasked to clean out the stalls, like my young Squire Beman.

Steve

[Joe Shaw]

My most humble apologies. Sometimes a joke can go too far or a taunt can become too mean spirited. I find that I've done both in this case.

I bow to no man, Berli in my respect for the Ladies of the CessPool and I think my record bears me out ... current events notwithstanding. It was, after all, I who leapt to the defense of your own fine Lady on this very thread. So perhaps the bad may be somewhat balanced by the good.

Roxy I don't know what your status on this thread is. We have made it a policy that the spouses of members are accorded the title of Lady of the CessPool and have their names bolded ... mostly out of admiration for what they have to put up with on a daily basis that we must endure for only moments. In another case a longtime poster was accorded that status because of the time she'd spent here and the contributions she'd made. I'll leave your status up to the Olde Ones in their wisdom. With one exception (and Dame Kitty has been far too absent for far too long) the Ladies of the CessPool don't actually play CM. Your role ... is somewhat more ambiguous.

In my defense ... I don't really have one. Except for a desire to see the CessPool thrive and not be the subject of clowns and neer-do-wells who would pose as something that they are not. Your first post and your profile were ... suspicious, based upon past posts and the extreme scarcity of women in this almost exclusive male conclave. And it HAS happened before. So why do I care? What does it matter asks Seanachai? It matters because this thread matters. Oddly enough, and in our own odd way, we are scrupulously honest with each other ... in the proper context and at the proper time of course. I despise the thought of a poser coming here, someone that would be laughing behind their hand at the swell joke they were playing. No doubt that says much about me.

In part my continuation of that theme here was part of the role I play here. I am the Justicar, the keeper of the traditions, the rule keeper and the one who insists upon policy and procedures. Of course it's all sheer nonsense ... we all have our roles here and sometimes the reality gets confused with the role.

This is far too serious a post for the CessPool, but it needed to be said. Again, my deepest and most sincere apologies.

Joe

[OGSF]

Guid grief! Ah'll noo surrainder tha MBT tae tha blatherin' pillocks lately arrived.....festerin' gits akin tae a pin hole ain a set o' pipes - wun continuous ferrt! Gayboy Focker an' Mike tha Twit....shut ye yammerin' pie holes an' naixt time yer tempted tae post - feckin' DON'T. Quality o'er quantity ye frog-bottom skid marks!

Roxy haes shown more promise ain two posts than yoo vacuous idjits hae managed ain twea hunnert! Tae quote mah brother ain arms, Hiram...SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

An noo tae 'Pool business. Ah'm inclined tae support Roxy's suggestion tha she bae appointed Lady ain Waitin' tae fair Lady Persephone. Af'n tha Lady Persephone shuid bae sae kind as tae agree, at wuid appear tae bae a "proper" route fer a potential Lady o' tha Pool tae travel, an' may e'en be seen as a 'Poolish Tradition. O' course, Ah defer tae tha Justicar an' tha Olde Wuns orn tha matter.

An' AJ as a stankin' gamey green troop buyin' gamey stoat belly licker o' a snot gobblin' bastaarrd. As af ye didnae knoo.

[MrSpkr]

A dusky, smoke filled room, with a hundred old desks and chairs. At the front of the room is a dais.

Seated in a large chair upon the dias is a tall, rather bored looking figure wielding a large gavel.

From out in the crowd, a voice calls out:

Moriarty: On order!

The grim figure in the chair shifts slightly, then repeats: "On order . . ."

He grimaces slightly, then spits out the name:

"Moriarty."

Moriarty rises slowly. "Yes, Mr. Speaker. Point of order: Desolation and waste = Texas."

The crowd hushes for a moment, looking from the Chair to the suddenly nervous and socially isolated Moriarty.

The Speaker deliberates for a moment, then flatly notes, "A point of Order has been called."

He pauses.

"Overruled."

Git.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

A very nice bit of groveling snipped here.

Joe

Yeah. What Joe said.

Steve

[Guest Mike]

Oh, and Gadbody Lackwit...while you're at it could you take out the Alphabet Soup and drop him in the same pizza palace.

His postings resemble nothing so much as every pizza topping ever made.

With extra anchovies.

There's a good fellow.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Too late Seanachai, she did, and the 'Old boys Club' ran her off. Not the 'Pool's' finest hour. Oddly enough, we used to have the destinction of welcoming women into our band of misfits... they seemed to think we were harmless or somefink. Guess those days are over. I'm not all that impressed with the Cesspool today

Hmm, just got more fully caught up.

Well, we shall mend as we may.

There has always been a strong, democratic, even 'iconoclastic' streak in the Peng Challenge Thread. Sometimes, of course, we trip over it while going out for a slash...

I think there are grounds here for an Olde One amendment on our usual practices.

A woman, coming into the 'Pool, need not have an email address in her profile. For one thing, the profile is not 'restricted' to the 'Pool. Once in, it's there for every halfwit and cyberstalker to see. I see no reasonable objection to withholding such info.

I know that Joe has not required it in this case out of any lack of concern over issues of personal comfort, but rather as the best determinant if some sort of 'scam' is being run. Such issues are easily resolved. Let anyone who does not wish to immediately post there email address, for whatever reason, reveal it to the Olde Ones or one of the Ladies of the 'Pool.

Then it is on file, yet not publicly posted or available. The concerned party can then go about taunting, abusing, and posting with gusto, issuing games to those they are comfortable with, and so extending their email address only to opponents that they are comfortable with.

Now, you've probably already seen a lot of posting on the Outer Boards about 'the Peng lot' swarming out at the idea that a woman is posting on the Forum.

This is pitiable, simply pitiable, and I am quite serious here. One of the things that has always deeply disappointed me about the Forum, in general, is that the few times I've seen woman openly posting, they were quickly driven away by the reception they received.

I decided, early on, that I would always work to see that any woman who wanted to post in the Forum would be welcome here in the Peng Challenge Thread, and be subjected as little as possible to the sort of wankerism we've recently seen on the Outer Boards.

Even when the behaviour is intended humourously, in an attempt to 'defuse' a woman's joining the Forum, the sheer volume and overwhelming idiocy of even 'welcoming' posters is beyond belief.

So lets show the Outer Boards the true difference between themselves, and us.

It's not merely that we're scary, vile, 'colourful' individuals without the ethical compass that God gave a stoat. It's not merely that we're a cliqueish, clannish lot of posturing fools who lord it over the lesser mortals who shamble through the Outer Boards, constantly posting that the Peng Challenge is an affront to human dignity, and should be immediately closed down because we wouldn't have them as a member.

No, what sets us off from the great unwashed, the bleating herds of Outer Boarders whose frustrated little sense of self-importance can't stand the fact that here, 'all men are wolves to other men' (actually quite a good thread on the Outer Board, there), and that no matter how much they know about WWII, and how much they wish to see all participation limited to 'weighty, significant, and contributory threads', is the fact that we hold up to them a mirror that they do not wish to look into.

We are a satire on them, gentlemen and ladies. We are the funhouse mirror that distorts their concerns with Groggly matters, or tournaments and ladders, or their own, fragile little egos, affronted by the utter pointlessness of the Peng Challenge Thread.

We are, in a word, their worst nightmare:

Clowns with a brain.

So, let us show yet this other difference between ourselves and the often stuffy self-importance of the Outer Boards, even the, gasp Groggly sanctum of the regular Combat Mission Forum (from which we have never been removed, you will notice), and welcome women into our ranks.

Let us make them welcome, reassure them, and treat them as though they have arrived into their natural homeland on the Thread. Let us make them want to say: Ich Bin Cesspooler!

And let us also take this moment to reaffirm what that means to the rest of us. Let us make some effort to post something humourous and worth reading. Let us mock, by the delight we take in our little circle of Cess, the stuffy posturings of the Outer Boarders. Let us remember always, to tease and belittle fools, and to fill the Mavens of 'What the Forum is Really All About' with wrath, because we will insist on being ourselves.

We are, ultimately, the final satire on the Forum. Lately, the posting in the Cesspool has been so torpid and dull that many of us have been posting our joy in taunt, satire and abuse on the General Forum.

That way lies madness. That way will see the Mother Beautiful Thread moved to the General Forum. Let us recapture the low and boggy ground at the feet of the Combat Mission Forum. Let us build a castle, there, worthy of Peng.

And when that castle falls over and sinks in the mud, let us build another on top of it, as we have been doing these many, many months, until we have built the strongest castle in all these islands.

Remember, call another Cesspooler a peckerhead, and you've barely annoyed him for a second. Go on about his bathroom habits, and you've only bored everyone else for another five seconds.

But to post the delights of literature, poetry, true taunts, well thought out abuse; to make obscure references and insult and laugh at Outer Boarders, to welcome in women, sneer at self-important little wannabes, and raise your voices, united in the joy of hating each other in a jolly sing-song...

That, lads, is what the Peng Challenge is all about!

And God have mercy on your useless little slacker souls if you forget it.

Dalem: Come Home.

The Peng Challenge Thread will need all its true sons and daughters in the days to come.

Raise up your voices! Sing, sing, you earless dog's bums! Sing so that the Outer Boards can hear your song, and let them tremble!

[ August 06, 2002, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Again sorry if i offended anyone, i think i'll bow out gracefully if possible and send myself off to Coventry. Take care everyone.

Sometimes, you can't tell the players without a score card. What a very strange sports reference for me to make.

You're not evil, lad. You're just a halfwit. And you edited your most egregious post, and that shows that you've got a good heart, and half a brain.

We can probably work with that.

You need to post more slowly, listen more, and sing more, lad. Everyone likes a jolly sing-song.

I can't hear you singing, you little Focker!

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Roxy I don't know what your status on this thread is. I'll leave your status up to the Olde Ones in their wisdom. With one exception (and Dame Kitty has been far too absent for far too long) the Ladies of the CessPool don't actually play CM. Your role ... is somewhat more ambiguous.

Joe

Bah! Persephone's playing me even as we speak. Or gibber, lately. She's doing bloody well, too. And it can't be Berli's help, because I always beat Berli like a gong. That's Gods hand there, that is.

In any case, yes, the Olde Ones are the proper place to determine status.

Not because we're anything less than an anarchic collection of egos, riven and rent by dissension, and taking as our very banner the free right of the individual to act like a complete and bloody twit.

No, it's best determined by the Olde Ones because that's what we bloody well do, and if you don't like it we'll be happy to staple fleece all over your worthless carcass before Mace takes you for a drive to have a picnic with the Old Firm.

Roxy, who has been most righteously forthcoming, is Squire to Lady Persephone. Alright, 'squire' is a quasi-masculine term, but unless she prefers 'Lady in Waiting', it's as good as any other.

Persephone is best suited to fill her in on who's who, what's what, and what a lot of senseless drivel most of you are. Oh, and because Persephone is quite nice and forgiving, and actually likes most of you, she's also the most forgiving source of info that Roxy could encounter.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Dalem: Come Home.

The Peng Challenge Thread will need all its true sons and daughters in the days to come.

Raise up your voices! Sing, sing, you earless dog's bums! Sing so that the Outer Boards can hear your song, and let them tremble!

Well fine Seanachai I have not, in the strictest sense of the word, actually left. I have indeed renounced my title, my holdings, and my exclusive rights to the word persiflage, but I walk the paths of the MBT still. At times I plod, at times trudge, still others I gad about. Mayhap even a gambol can be had from time to time if I'm in the mood and the dog is awake.

Why, just this day I seek to straighten out Mr. Fockster and introduce him to the ways and means of proper MBT etiquette. And it was easy folks, I saw someone who needed a verbal stomping, and dealt with it, and now another setup awaits me. No matter be he a SSN, or squire, or what have you. I encourage all and sundry to learn by my example as an option. All save Aussie Jeff. I don't want him to learn anything. I want to watch him touch hand to hot stove time and time again. Why? Because he posts incessant pictures of his drab desert mods. That's certainly reason enough.

And before I set back upon my path Seanachai, I couldn't help but notice your veiled request for a versification from me. No, no, no need to be embarrassed - I don't mind.

Ahem.

I assume everyone knows "On Top of Old Smokey?"

On top of old SEAN-A-CHAI

All covered with prose,

There lay my poor CELL-PHOOOOOOOONNNE

Inside of his nose....

I pulled and I GRASP-EDDDDDDDDD

But it would not yield,

I'd no choice but to CALL MEEEEEE

So a landline I did wield.....

It rang and it RAAAAAANNNGGGGG SOME MOOOOORRRRREE

It rang and it rang......

But then I foolishly realized I was dialing Kuala-LAMMMMMMMM-PUORRRRRRRRRRRRE

And so muttered "Aww dang".......

So then I fed him some THAAAIIIIIIIII FOOOOOOOOOODD

And things started to clear.....

But what fell on the CARRRRRRR-PETTTTTTTTT

I didn't want to get near.....

Thank you, we're Nine Inch Nails, good night!

[ August 06, 2002, 11:18 PM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Again sorry if i offended anyone, i think i'll bow out gracefully if possible and send myself off to Coventry. Take care everyone.

Sometimes, you can't tell the players without a score card. What a very strange sports reference for me to make.

You're not evil, lad. You're just a halfwit. And you edited your most egregious post, and that shows that you've got a good heart, and half a brain.

We can probably work with that.

You need to post more slowly, listen more, and sing more, lad. Everyone likes a jolly sing-song.

I can't hear you singing, you little Focker!</font>

[Seanachai]

On top of old SEAN-A-CHAI

All covered with prose,

There lay my poor CELL-PHOOOOOOOONNNE

Inside of his nose...

Oh my gods, the pain...

whimper

[ August 06, 2002, 11:30 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Again sorry if i offended anyone, i think i'll bow out gracefully if possible and send myself off to Coventry. Take care everyone.

Sometimes, you can't tell the players without a score card. What a very strange sports reference for me to make.

You're not evil, lad. You're just a halfwit. And you edited your most egregious post, and that shows that you've got a good heart, and half a brain.

We can probably work with that.

You need to post more slowly, listen more, and sing more, lad. Everyone likes a jolly sing-song.

I can't hear you singing, you little Focker!</font>

[OGSF]

A scourge o' pillocks an' noo mistake. Wi' noo Leige tae show thaim tha wha, here's a bone fer ye....

http://www.geocities.com/lrmcgarvey/cesspool.html

Ah'm tae soft....

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Roxy:

...

I fancy that would be The Bloated Ones, or maybe that meany Slow Squaw.

...

Catches on fast doesn't she. Admirable, quite admirable.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by OGSF:

Ah'm tae soft....

It's probably mere folklore, but try oysters.

They're supposed to put lead in your pencil.

Not that you've anyone to write to, of course...

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

...

I fancy that would be The Bloated Ones, or maybe that meany Slow Squaw.

...

Catches on fast doesn't she. Admirable, quite admirable.</font>

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

...

the Ladies of the CessPool don't actually play CM.

...

Oh pshaw! you're a git's git you are. Ladies don't actually play indeed. Who do you think won all of Berli's PBEM's for him? While he's off looking grumpy, roasting a few souls and building Brittney Spears websites, Persephone has been issuing orders and playing his turns...

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Jonesboro, Arkansas

Oh, lovely, another suthuner.

Don't Ladies of the Realm (Persephone, Kitty?) have Ladies In Waiting or maidens to do their bidding? You know, something similar to the Knight/Squire thing?

Good question... I would assume that is for them to decide... although, the two you mentioned both served time as squires.

I fancy that would be The Bloated Ones, or maybe that meany Slow Squaw. I don't suppose there is any way Lady Persephone or Seanachai could have some input on the decision?

Seanachai (aka The Bard, Übergnome, Bloody Pillock...) is a, how did you put it, Bloated One. I'll leave it to you to figure out who the other two miscreants are

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

It's probably mere folklore, but try oysters.

They're supposed to put lead in your pencil.

Not that you've anyone to write to, of course...

Wid ye noo put ye haid under thas grrreat big rock, ye fingers ain tha slightly open drawer an' ye wallet on tha table an' say tha? Sae mah wee span'l can grrab ye knicker elastic ain her gentle mooth an' gi' ye a wedgie tha size o' tha Firth o' bleedin' Forth!! Needless tae sae, boot Ah'd drop tha rock, slam tha drawer an' auction off ye wallet immidjitly after!

Ye reference mah "thingy" agin mon, an' Ah'll saind ye tae Hiram's hoose fer "therapy".

An' noo fer ra wee sing song...

Ah saw Seanachai tossed oop ain a basket,

Seventy times as hee as tha moon,

Where hae were gwin, Ah cudnae boot ask at,

Fer ain haes hand, hae carried a broom.

"Seanachai! Seanachai! Ye old bastarrd!", quoth I,

"Where're ye gwin oop sae hee?"

"Tae sweep tha cobwaibs fraim tha skee!"

"Will ye returrrnin'?"

"Aye, bye an'...whoa...urk....whaaaaa..."

*KER-SPLAT!!!!*

"OOOoooOOOooOOOoh.....Ah'm dyin'..."

An' finally fer tha Jeopardy question o' tha stankin' day....

A: A gamey bastarrd tha has mae attackin' wi' British carriers on a single dirt road surroonded bah deep mud, bordered bah swamps, wi' a minefield on tha road, an' mortars fallin' on tha "point", ain tha fog.

Q: Wha as Goanna?

Bastaarrds!

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Also i was under the assumption that everyone on this thread was treated the same and subjected to the same jokes and humor regardless of race, creed, or gender, thats why i thought it was the best thread around.

Oddly enough, we tend to be a rather... chivalrous bunch. You've noticed that we sling bile at one another with great regularity, but did you notice the other unique feature of this thread? ALL the women on the forum (Kitty, Emma, Persephone, Bauhaus Mace's sheep and now Roxy) are counted members herein. We did not drag them in, they came of their own free will (thus proving the age old belief that men have held about the relationship between women and logic). The appeal, I believe, is that here there is a low probability of some of the BS that women generally have to put up with on the net. Hpoe that clears it up for you.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

That's damn near like a 'hug' from Berli

The only hug anyone here is going to get is when my hands hug their throat.