The Peng Challenge - you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

[Patchy]

The true story of when MrPeng met the loverly and talented Allison...she didn't really stand up Peng...when he arrived at her hotel room...she took one look at him and...well...couldn't stop laughing.

Persephone

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

Hail and well met all! I'm as nervous as an altar boy in the rectory posting here, but what the hell, I can take the abuse, I may even learn to enjoy it.

Let me begin by introducing myself. I'm a long time wargamer, back to the days of cardboard maps and chits, when I was master of the venerable A-choo move (those who don't know what the A-choo move entails are just the sort it works best against, ignorant saps). Have had to develope a different attack since the proliferation of the personal computer, as a-choo is a strictly an 'in person' stategy. None the less, without this awesome advantage I still manage to win the occasional game or two on the computer.

I shall be issueing the Peng Challenge to several withing the next few days and will consider mercilessly taunting any with the temerity to refuse my offer.

Till then, gird well your loins, as I soon sally forth to do battle on that Field of Honor known as Peng!

Your respectfully,

Sgt. K

PS

Any use of the term 'fresh meat'(or similar epithets) in regards my person will be grounds for severe reprisal on my part. Be forewarned I will not be responsible for the harshness such a characterization may elicit.

Sgt...er 'K'. Well, let me be the first to welcome you here with a jolly 'Sod Off', you annoying bit of unflossed spoiled meat.

It's lovely, isn't it, to wander around in the Spring, and, perhaps dead drunk, fall face first into the Peng Challenge Thread, and then, after a few hasty words of intent, crawl back out, having dragged yourself through the little act of elimination you performed just before you started posting to the Thread of threads.

Lovely, yes.

We look forward to your return, with an actual Challenge, the way we look forward to flowers, and robins, and rotting bits of damp dog ****e, and all those other joys of Spring.

And don't be afraid, lad, that you won't find acceptance and jolly camaraderie here in the Peng Challenge Thread. Because you're not going to find it anywhere, actually. It's just going to be so much more brutally honest here than the usual places you go poncing about after understanding.

Still, you never know. You could shuffle back in here, cap in hand, and make an actual Challenge worthy of the name, and amuse us all. Well, not likely, but you might amuse one or two. And then, well, we'd have no choice but to really get medieval on your arse, now would we?

[MrSpkr]

Updates!

Leeo and his wretched Canadians have FAILED TO WIN against my valiant, outnumbered, outgunned Teutonic hordes! Despite his last minute attempt to rush one key victory location with a bazillion troops that magically appeared on the next to last turn (umm, Steve, Charles, are you SURE CMBO can't be hacked? Really? It just seems so suspicious. . . Yes, yes, but please, keep an eye on him . . .), and despite the fact he had a fully loaded, unused tank at his disposal, and despite the fact he outnumbered my men by at least a three to one margin, he still FAILED TO WIN!

Other games: I owe dalem a turn. He'll get it in a few minutes. Everyone else owes me turns, except for Pondscum, who owes me a setup.

Did I mention that Leeo FAILED TO WIN?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Persephone:

The true story of when MrPeng met the loverly and talented Allison...she didn't really stand up Peng...when he arrived at her hotel room...she took one look at him and...well...couldn't stop laughing.

Persephone

Er, Persephone, dear Lady, could we have that same picture again from Peng's perspective? And without imposing any Thread member's face on the young lady? I know it would make me feel young again.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Persephone, dear Lady, could we have that same picture again from Peng's perspective? And without imposing any Thread member's face on the young lady? I know it would make me feel young again.

I honestly don't think your heart could take the strain!

Mace

PS Yes, Persophene, the shopping did suck

[ April 13, 2002, 12:52 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[dalem]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

Hail and well met all!

Okay, Spcl_K, not only do you admit to living in Woonsocket, but you SPELLED IT WRONG!!!

You bring back painful memories of time served in the Tiny State. For that we hates you.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Persephone:

The true story of when MrPeng met the loverly and talented Allison...she didn't really stand up Peng...when he arrived at her hotel room...she took one look at him and...well...couldn't stop laughing.

Persephone

Okay, I guess I can accept that Allison has a goatee, but why is Peng wearing a garter belt?????

I feel all funny now.

[Sgt_K]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

My. my, you display a firm grasp of the obvious with that comment. Thanks for trying to explain 'my' joke but I'm quite sure any with an IQ over 75 will get it without your assistance.

Get it straight, I'm a Damn Yankee. Being a Red Sox fan I know 'YANKEES SUCK!'

Strange that New Engladers would be called 'mongrel' by someone with all the Okie ties. Didn't the whole state give a sigh of relief last week when that study said cousins marrying wasn't as dangerous as thought?

Ohh, I'm cut to the quick, haven't heard 'snot boy' since leaving Primary School

Well MrSpanker, you seem to be 'a low level scum', you are definitely 'something akin to.' I challenge you, since you seem so insistent that I challenge someone. Choose your poison and after you stop shivering answer me, Ill give you about 3 days to pull yourself together

Dude, I've been to the girl's forum you think this place is viscious? You ain't seen nothing! Any way what has gender got to do with it? I think I sense a bad case of testosterone poisoning. Better get yourself checked, hate to lose you in a fit of 'roid rage.

That is all,

Sgt K

[ April 13, 2002, 02:12 AM: Message edited by: Sgt_K ]

[Sgt_K]

Originally posted by dalem:

Thanks for the head's up on my spelling. Guess I truly am a product of the American edicational system.<looks ashamed>

Death to the NEA and the AFT!

Your disrespect for for the Biggest Little pains me greatly as there is no other place that warms the cockles of my heart. As for "time served', if all you saw was Cranston while you were here I understand your revulsion.

My God, you've got some nerve criticizing my state while, as we speak, your governor is pulling on his spandex and raising that folding chair over his head.

That is all,

Frank K

[ April 13, 2002, 02:28 AM: Message edited by: Sgt_K ]

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

I'm a long time wargamer, back to the days of cardboard maps and chits...

Wargamers die of Lead poisoning... cardboard is for kids

[dalem]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

Your disrespect for for the Biggest Little pains me greatly as there is no other place that warms the cockles of my heart. As for "time served', if all you saw was Cranston while you were here I understand your revulsion.

I saw Cranston. I have a good friend from Cranston. You sir, are no Cranston.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

Hail and well met all! I'm as nervous as an altar boy in the rectory posting here, but what the hell, I can take the abuse, I may even learn to enjoy it.

Any use of the term 'fresh meat'(or similar epithets) in regards my person will be grounds for severe reprisal on my part. Be forewarned I will not be responsible for the harshness such a characterization may elicit.

Sausage-boy.

Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Sgt_NotVerySpecialK:

There is no other place that warms the cockles of my heart. That is all,

Frankenstein K

Oh, but your wrong. Please grasp your cockles firmly and stand over there... that's a good chap (snicker).

AJ: {snicker - pssst.. OK Berli he's in position - pull the lever.....SNICKER}

Berli: Hehe ..... now THIS is what I call <U>FUN</U>.... (grasps big lever attached to trapdoor and yanks it hard)<BIG>

<BIG><BIG>*KA-<BIG>CHUNK!!*<SMALL><SMALL><SMALL><SMALL>

SSN_icKer <BIG><BIG><BIG>"A<SMALL>i<SMALL>e<SMALL>e<SMALL>e<SMALL>e<SMALL>.....<BIG><BIG>" (followed by a diminishing whistling sound as a limp personage plummets away to a darker, more befitting place.......)

Have a nice landing, you DOLT. Maybe if you go and read the original MBT threads you will learn a tiny bit about what makes this place tick before attempting to jackboot yer way into here. Then again, I doubt it. So,

<BIG><BIG>SOD OFF<SMALL><SMALL>

AJ

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

Hail and well met all! I'm as nervous as an altar boy in the rectory posting here, but what the hell, I can take the abuse, I may even learn to enjoy it.

Any use of the term 'fresh meat'(or similar epithets) in regards my person will be grounds for severe reprisal on my part. Be forewarned I will not be responsible for the harshness such a characterization may elicit.

Pork chop cutlet.

Tender-loins.

[aside] ahem, word of advice... someone's pretending to be the Justicar... ahem... not a good idea to be, well, intimate, know what I mean *wink*? See, er, they go "missing" *wink* Eh, *nudge*, bit suspicious that, things going missing... I personally blame undeveloped Quire schooling skills... don't get the calibre of Kanniget these days. Amateurs, you know, lowering the standards.

Chicken breast,

Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Pork chop cutlet.

Tender-loins.

Chicken breast

Methinks subtlety is wasted on 98_K

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Persephone:

The true story of when MrPeng met the loverly and talented Allison...she didn't really stand up Peng...when he arrived at her hotel room...she took one look at him and...well...couldn't stop laughing.

Persephone

A decidedly wicked expose of the seedier side of Mr Peng's pecadillo's, M'Lady!! The poor chap looks mortified... having forgotten to wear his hot pink mini jockstrap as requested by the beauteous Allison!

AJ

[Guest PondScum]

I'm back, large as life and twice as Scummy. Sleep deprivation alone cannot take me down (although when it combined forces with that picture of Peng it almost had me), but rest assured that it DOES increase the bitterness that I hold for each and every one of you.

Talking of the Challenged One, where in Berli's realm is he? He owes me a turn from approximately four incarnations ago.

The VT-fest with Yeknod continues in fits and starts. A few fire missions here, a few fire missions there, pretty soon it's turn 26 and time for a flag rush. I think we're about to exchange clanketty things.

Finally, and just to stop him whining, MrSpkr now has the setup he so richly deserves. A fate shortly to be shared by mon petite liege.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

A man who would eat squash would eat animal feces with a decorative toothpick thrust into it.

Oh, now you're really hitting me where it hurts Shakey-knees, my culinary skills! Well, it would hurt if it were given by anyone who didn't live in an area which considered haute cuisine to be a buffet of Lutefisk and hunks of cheese the size of car batteries. Or perhaps going down to the "Sons of Knute" lodge for square dancing and endless tupperware containers filled with congealed tuna hot dish. Mmmmm! Thems good eats.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

P.S. Crodaburg is a never ending travesty. Boo Radley sends waves of troops to die, and yet still more wash up against the noble German defenders.

I'm sorry. Are they indeed noble? My fault. I guess it's just hard to notice nobility in a person when all you see is their backside as they're scampering away from you into the woods.

Edited because life is constant change.

And with you it's the small change most commonly found in seat cushions.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

Hail and well met all! I'm as nervous as an altar boy in the rectory posting here, but what the hell, I can take the abuse, I may even learn to enjoy it.

You know, there is not one part of that sentence that I feel even remotely comfortable with. Look...he even made me end a sentence with a preposition and I don't do that!

Somebody take this puling gandy dancer of a Sgt. Canine person elsewhere.

No, I'm serious. Hie him hence, at once.

[Boo Radley]

My Lord Croda the Corosive! My first Peng victory! Granted, it isn't a huge victory. Not even a pretty victory. You could even say that as victories go, this one pretty much blows. But my staunch English greenies held their own against the nefarious hordes of Volksgummers commanded by that denizen of down under, Aussie-Less.

Victory does indeed taste sweet.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Did I mention that Leeo FAILED TO WIN?

Did I mention that MrSpkr is a pillock of the first order, and worse yet, a {gag} Sooners fan? I can imagine the settlers spinning in their graves at the thought.

It is you, Sir MrSpkr, who has failed to win. I merely failed to lose. What with the bogging of tanks, and all that flat open ground to cover, a not-lose is as good as a win. I have looped around and cut your troops off from re-supply. You are just fortunate enough to have the game end at a point prior to the deployment of the mopping-up team. I own the 2 victory flags closest to your edge. You, Sir, are surrounded, and the outcome has been decided. Perhaps you will perform better with your ear and stomach battalion in our next dance de la muerte, eh?

[Croda]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

My Lord Croda the Corosive! My first Peng victory! Granted, it isn't a huge victory. Not even a pretty victory. You could even say that as victories go, this one pretty much blows. But my staunch English greenies held their own against the nefarious hordes of Volksgummers commanded by that denizen of down under, Aussie-Less.

Victory does indeed taste sweet.

Very well done. The score is unimportant. The real victory lies in how well you display your opponent's entrails when the match has ended.

And, by the way...if that Sgt_Kracker stays around, show his the pointy end of your bayonet.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Oh, now you're really hitting me where it hurts Shakey-knees, my culinary skills!

The words culinary & skill should never be used together in a sentence involving squash.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

My Lord Croda the Corosive! *brag, brag, brag... My first Peng victory!

Granted, it isn't a huge victory.

You can say THAT again. AND you had the nefarious CM abacus on YOUR side when it came to the dodgy tally. Harumph!

Not even a pretty victory.

Agreed. The mere sight of your miserable lot cacking themselves as they ran orf into the bushes to hug their piddling flag was enough to panic even my hardened Green Gummers.

You could even say that as victories go, this one pretty much blows.

You are spot on again! I'll spare you lot the horror of the final map showing my hordes holding <U>1 major flag</U>, <U>1 minor flag</U> and <U>1 undecided minor flag</U> compared to his puny 1 major flag and go figure! BTS please fix or do somefink!!

But my staunch English greenies held their own against the nefarious hordes of Volksgummers commanded by that denizen of down under, Aussie-Less.

Victory does indeed taste sweet.

Sickly sweet in this instance. A pyrr-hic victory at best, I'll grant in our best out of 300 games contest. I demand recompense in the form of a BALANCED 1500pt QB, Squirrel Boo-boo. Be it on your head...

AJ