I Offer Grog Dorosh the Peng Challenge, And He Be Man Enough

[Seanachai]

Bugger, and Roight!

Now, then, it's almost become a burden to attempt to pass the Rules on to you lot of New Chums.

But here they are.

We cherish you. Truly we do. You are more meaningful to us than the stars above and the earth below.

Except for the fact that you're a lot of useless, wanking halfwits who can't be bothered to take even one hand out of your trousers long enough to scroll through the Rules to find out 'The Way You Are to Go'.

For this, we hate you, and, as an almost religious observance, demand that you SOD OFF!

Now, if you've mastered your need to stop un-bunching your underwear, and have a desire to know what your choices are, and how to gain acceptance here, please follow:

We are, like Sisyphus, constrained to post here, for all eternity. And, would you join us, we ask that what you contribute makes pushing that sodding Rock up the hill just a bit more witty, a bit more entertaining, a bit less like vomiting on the shoes of the arresting officer. We know you are all quite capable of the latter, as these documents are a matter of publice record, as is this Thread.

Also, we ask that your posts have all the weight, heft, and thunder of that Rock rolling back down the hill. Sound off, as it were, as though you had a Classical Pair.

Again, and we beg this most sincerely, do not sound off about your perceived 'Classical Pair'. Anyone can unzip themselves and posture. These people are arrested, counseled, recidivist, and, after stealing articles of women's clothing at night, end up as society's most newsworthy mass-murderers and perverts. Is that what you aspire to?

Finally, and this is the most important thing of all (except for the half-witted bastards who actually want to be arrested):

Challenge Someone.

A Person. An Individual. An Entity.

It's not that sodding hard. Pick someone out, and determine, in your heart, that you shall make mock of them to such an extant that they shall say: 'here, you little toad, you can't say that about me', and then offer to play you a game.

[ March 28, 2002, 02:12 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Monty]

que ?? :confused:

* Monty aka Moose is running for his life

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Hmmm , looks like the title for this brand spankin' new Mutha Beautiful Thread nodded off halfway through the first chorus.

Be that as it may, 'tis always refreshing to see "the rulez" trundled out yet again for those nappified, pillock SSN's careless enough to traipse through these hallowed parts. Nice waffle you cooked up there, Bard

AJ

SOB

-------------------------

<FONT COLOR = WHITE><SMALL>

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."<FONT COLOR = BLACK>

Noba

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Monty:

que ?? :confused:

* Monty aka Moose is running for his life

Thank you, Monty. Your almost complete lack of comprehension has been duly noted, and will not count against you unless you post again.

[Mace]

Sweatmeats? *Gack*

Mace

[Guest PondScum]

AussieJeff, in between tuneless cacklings, said:

Pondscum MIA: Almost choked on the Evil setup I sent him last year. Still hasn't recovered sufficiently to return a file.

Actually, I spent the last few days in a catatonic fugue. This was a last-ditch effort by my brain to save itself from all the GODDAMNED SINGING in the old thread. Here's to hoping that Berli can slap some sense into you in this one.

And as for that mangled abortion you call a map, could you make it ANY gamier? I mean, I look at it and I can almost HEAR your little thought processes at work. "Let's see, I'm attacking with a battalion of pitiful old men with lots of SMGs, so I'll make a small map with lots of woods and no buildings. And then I'll cut the visibility down to 80m so that if my toothless geezers can see anything even they can't miss. And finally, just to make things even easier, I'll make my opponent use a green infantry force as well."

Why not just walk around town with a big sign around your neck saying "DESPERATE FOR A WIN"?

[Stuka]

Don't forget the rule concerning the Cesspooler's love of all things Australian.

(especially the Rugby League)

[Noba]

Rugby sucks.

Now the title of the thread is crap. So is the poster. Nothing new there.

Pond-dweeb, you may have managed to pass off a couple of close wins in games you foisted on me, more by luck of course. But, you are obviously basking in your ill-perceived glory like a lizard on a rock. Low life should be splattered by well flung rocks.

You need a lesson in QB diplomacy. Stop growing amoebic appendages shaped like the Bard's nose and i'll send you a 1500 point set up you can lose on. Any reply to the negative will be taken as cowardice.

Noba.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Noba:

Now the title of the thread is crap.

Noba.

No, the title's okay, but I'm almost sure I've used a variation on it before.

Help me, Peng! They're trying to crucify me!

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Help me, Peng! They're trying to crucify me!

*nasely female voice*

"Oim sorry, but Mr Peng cannot be disturbed at the moment. He is currently wallowing in self-pity. Please try again Latah.

Have a noice day"!

What we need is to push the Australian land mass over a tad so it's just a few hundred feet from the US westcoast.

We can then frequent the LA bars enmasse and really show you guys how to party (either that, or get a mention on page 3 of the LA times on the following day due to some sordid outcome)

Mace

[Noba]

Originally posted by Mace

What we need is to push the Australian land mass over a tad so it's just a few hundred feet from the US westcoast.

{Shudder}Please, No !{Shudder} Then we would be invaded by ... PENG and tourists. Ugggh.

And Joe Shaw might get a transfer. Horror.

And they might make us play Gridiron. (They have 'World Championship Teams' you know...snigger.

Anyway, push them closer to somewhere else, thankyou.

Noba.

[Monty]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Monty:

que ?? :confused:

* Monty aka Moose is running for his life

Thank you, Monty. Your almost complete lack of comprehension has been duly noted, and will not count against you unless you post again.</font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Monty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Monty:

que ?? :confused:

* Monty aka Moose is running for his life

Thank you, Monty. Your almost complete lack of comprehension has been duly noted, and will not count against you unless you post again.</font>

[Monty]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Monty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Monty:

que ?? :confused:

* Monty aka Moose is running for his life

Thank you, Monty. Your almost complete lack of comprehension has been duly noted, and will not count against you unless you post again.</font>

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

We are, like Sisyphus, constrained to post here, for all eternity...

Perhaps You are like Sisyphus...

[Simon Elwen]

AJ

In the intrests of pan european friendship I have come to the aid of all Dutch Optometrists

BIG Words LITTLE Man, now that you have been elevated by some error your meglomaniac rantings are positively sad , lacking form and dignity.

You will never become one of the vulgar elite, return to your rightful place as a serf and playing with men with odd shaped balls.

I cast my gauntlet at you

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Monty:

que ?? eviscerated smilie

'nother eviscerated smilie

Oh lovely. AussieJeff, make yourself useful and instruct the lad

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Help me, Peng! They're trying to crucify me!

Now is the time for Peng to wash his hands and Berli to chuckle in amusement

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Monty:

Dutchmen speak Dutch, no German.

VERSTEHEN SIE ???

Well, AussieJeff, I told you to instruct him, and it looks like he instructed you.

[Berlichtingen]

AussieJeff,

Bit of a secret for you...

Try to wrap what passes for your brain around this...

<font size="+2">HTML REQUIRES END TAGS!</font>

Your attention to this detail will be greatly appreciated

*kick* (It is to damned early in the morning to show any energy)

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

*kick*

Berli, I think your *kicker* is gonna wear out with this AJ chap.

[Croda]

Easily the worst title, and worst first page of an MBT in history. Had a gaggle of pissed-off fireants with a raging case of herpes consumed the whole lot of us, at least there would have been something occuring that could hold a modicum of interest.

A blind man, given the opportunity to read this page of Peng as his only reprieve from blindness, would forthwith and rightly carve his eyeballs out with the serated edge of a grapefruit spoon to ensure that he never receives the offer again.

You are a waste, a waste of Oxygen, a waste of DNA, a waste of ATP, a waste of electrons. The daisies which you will somday push toward they sky will smell of mule and will be given to Death Row Inmates to show them what the other-side holds for them.

You're the rotting refuse of a rancid rectum.

Please skip the sodding off and go directly to the Die-A-Lot-Now™.

[Panzer Leader]

Wow, (ignoring the OZZY crap -- man go to bed at night and just LOOK what crawls out of the mire), anyhow, all I have to say is Wow, Seanachai, novice mistake on the thread title. It seems Mutha Beautiful has gone out without her knickers.

Personally, I would have gone with "The Sun Never Sets on the PENG CHALLENGE Thread" which in fact I suggested an aeon or two ago (Please see AussieGit's list to find it). So, anywhoo, let's let this ozzy-infected thread go and start a REAL one. It seems the curmudgeon might be losing his touch.

BTW (I love internet acronyms) is there a way to connect that "ae" in aeon, a dipthong isn't it)

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by Noba:

Pond-dweeb, you may have managed to pass off a couple of close wins in games you foisted on me, more by luck of course. But, you are obviously basking in your ill-perceived glory like a lizard on a rock.

What part of "you just got slapped senseless by the French - AGAIN" didn't you understand? Your armor losses of ten to one? Your infantry losses of three to one? You're the legless armless squire, spouting blood and shouting "Coward! Come back here, I'll bite your legs off!" If you want to be punished that badly, I suggest asking your liege for a damn good kicking. Alternatively, try insulting the Old Ones - that did it for me.

Talking of squires in much need of the boot, AussieJeff claims to have started his Volkshorde on the attack, but the decrepit old farts are clearly lost in the woods somewhere. And while my Frenchmen may be mere waiters-in-training, I have put them through intensive drills in swiping walking sticks and kicking over walkers. Doom awaits. That, and fresh pairs of adult Depends all round.

On which topical theme we segue gracefully into the challenge that is Peng. The pod might be reeling from his latest crash-and-burn, but he can take solace in trying to find my foggy Frog forces. Alternatively, he can just curl up into a sobbing ball, clutching a picture of the evil Allison for comfort, and die. Makes no difference.

And since neither of these bottom-feeders has yet lost to me, they're both two losses ahead of Noba, who is AT THE BACK OF THE QUEUE, and always will be.

Everyone else owes me turns. Get a move on, you swine.

[Boo Radley]

Transmission begins

CRODABURG aka "No Fun For The Whole Family" Has ground to a halt as I haven't received any moves for the last two days. The ever-neat, R_Leete is MIA.

My battle with old YEKNODATHON of the pendulous ears likewise has moved about as far as a 1976 Bondo covered Pinto station wagon that's up on blocks in the front yard of some Okie who's several payments behind on his double-wide.

I see by my e-mail that I just got a message from Sock Monkey. I'd almost forgotten I was playing him.

I've just sent along a set-up to the dastardly sNOw-BAll . Let's see if his close-fisted bangings translate into anything that makes sense.

Finally, I've just begun a little to-do with Flustered Jeff. It seems that the his set-ups form a gestalt of his miserable existance: green troops stumbling around in the dead of night. Sound familiar to anyone who's ever played him? I say we have the poor man committed before he harms anyone else.

I'm off tomorrow to visit the parental units. Try to clean up after yourselves.

Transmission ends