imported_Hiram Sedai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 What the hell is going on in here? I turn my back for a second and I hear the cackling of hens. This is not a fecking sowing circle, ladies. We don’t fecking care what color your nail polish is or what kind of decorating tips you may have. Granted, the Bard might but the rest of us who are estrogen impaired don’t really give a rip. Now, I love the smell of fresh estrogen in the morning. Females are a wonderful invention for fetching of beers and doing laundry. I may have to get a big hipped lovely to take care of my manly needs. (mind wanders off to desert island with Jennifer Lopez) Where was I? Oh…the simulated intoxication is cute for a grammar school class, but it’s just unimaginative in here. Digital men are dying in droves in my game vs Fionn and you sit there knitting!! Do something to support the war effort! Don’t you care? Buy bonds!! Until I end my PBEM against the Fionn, I expect to see light and noise discipline from now on. Oh, and fetch me a beer and shut your traps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: This is very Nice wine...*Hic*....*hic*....*hic Glad you like it. It's one of many recommended by PawBroon So now maybe you can convince Berli that the French do indeed produce the best wines. Maybe he will even swap his whisky for a bottle of Beaujolais or Brouilly...... ((((((( \_/> \_/> )))))))) *Hic* Cheers Persephone I hope Roxy remembers to pick up some more supppies while she is out shopping we are almost out. Hmmmmmmm suppose we could crack open a few of those six packs, I don't think the Guys will mind. Actually, it would give us a little more room in the fridge if we do. Hiram who rattled your cage? Posted by Sweet and Sour: Females are a wonderful invention for fetching of beers and doing laundry. I may have to get a big hipped lovely to take care of my manly needs. In your dreams Hiram you just drew the short straw. Persephone being the nice person that she is was about to pass you a six pack and even suggested we take turns in washing your smalls. But I on the other hand being a little more sober decided to spoil your fun. You can have the six pack...... but you will have to settle on Simon to cater for your manly needs, he may not be J.Lo but I'm sure he won't disappoint you. Edited to add: Smalls= Brit slang for underwear and socks. [ August 24, 2002, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: YK2 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Elwen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 You rang , my Liege , anything to do with pink sheep by any chance ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Oh, and fetch me a beer and shut your traps.Persephone takes a six pack and tosses it over to Hiram, and accidentally knocks over all his little toy soldiers....There, that should shut him up for a while...ummm....sorry about all your little toy soldiers...you weren't plotting out your next move against Fionn were you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Simon Elwen: You rang , my Liege , anything to do with pink sheep by any chance ?Yep, they do need a run through the sheep dip. I hope the dip doesn't fade the nice pink color though. *thinks* Best run them through another 50,000 times, will ya? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 No Mace! It took me all morning to get those sheep dyed pink! I will not stand by and watch your Quire undo all of my hard work. [ August 24, 2002, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Elwen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Dear YK2 and Persephone rest assured that Mace's sheep are colour fast and won't fade , I'm going to be too busy dipping the whole flock to deal with Hiram's manly needs , he'll have to see to those himself . Any wine or beer left ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by YK2: Berli I am sooooo sorry, I am using another comp and installed ICQ Alpha so you came up as a unknown number.... Arghhhhhhhhhhh I didn't realise it was you.Go away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by YK2: [QB]So now maybe you can convince Berli that the French do indeed produce the best wines. Maybe he will even swap his whisky for a bottle of Beaujolais or Brouilly......No bloody likely! Best wine comes from the wine region along the Rhine River. Even that is no substitute for Whiskey (none of that American corn syrup mind you). French wine is best aged... to the point of vinigar and then it can be used to make a nice Sauerbraten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 A figure cloaked in shadow passes through the Pool. It pauses briefly to cover the passed out Ladies of the Pool with a blanket. Standing a moment to gaze at the changes to decor, he pulls out several cans of spray paint... shaking each of them. it them proceeds to undo the changes made. The figure can be heard singing to himself as he sprays over the pink carpeting.... Berli: I see a pink throw rug and i want it painted black... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: ... to the point of vinigar and then it can be used to make a nice SauerbratenWho are you and what have you done with BeerGut? He would never use a word like "nice". Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: This is not a fecking sowing circle, ladies. Err...ahhhh...umm, Hiram? I really think you meant "sewing" circle. If you intended to say "sow"ing, I have to tell you that a pun of that caliber could very likely get you your cojones handed to you on a silver platter. If you catch my drift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Elwen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Oh dear a double post thing [ August 24, 2002, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: Simon Elwen ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Papa Khann: Who are you and what have you done with BeerGut? He would never use a word like "nice".I look forward to your passing. You are aware that your duties this weekend will be to serve as a boat anchor, don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ...and my golf courses of choice both have tournaments going on today! JoeYou golf?!! I may throw-up. All that time spent supporting a shoddy parody of a human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ...and my golf courses of choice both have tournaments going on today! JoeYou golf?!! I may throw-up. All that time spent supporting a shoddy parody of a human being.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Enough of this pointless twaddle, Seanachai ... where will YOU be at 5:00 PM tomorrow? The whole world wants to know! JoeHaving a bloody beer with you at Lord Fletcher's on St. Albans Bay, now won't I you great, posturing load of Texas duff?! And watching Lars and Dalem oggling young women, no doubt (young people today, so energetic, yet so predictable). Lars, one of my lady friends says to remind you they've posted the 'No Wake' rules on Lake Minnetonka again. I take this to mean if Shaw dies during the evening, we're not allowed to drink whiskey and sing songs to his memory. Which strikes me as horribly wrong, and not indicative a free society. I blame Ashcroft and that load of useless pillocks he's brought into the Justice Department. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: blah blahSince you apaprently can't read your bloody email, am I supposed to pick you up tomorrow or what? [ August 24, 2002, 09:43 PM: Message edited by: dalem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Edited to express sincere and complete befuddlement ... what the HELL are you talking about with the "shoddy parody of a human being line?" I freely admit that I FREQUENTLY find myself baffled by your posts, but this ... have you been drinking the Aqua Velva again?Golf is the Sport of Evil. Well, not a Berli-esque sort of Evil. Perhaps 'evil' without capitalization. Aqua Velva? Surely you jest, sirrah! Why, I have actually been confronted by Officers of the Law drinking a $15 bottle of German Wine out of a paper bag under railroad bridges in Sioux Falls, South Dakota! Aqua Velva indeed! I may, sir, be a vile, useless, inebriated ÜberGnome, but, sir, and please take note, I have style, standards, and a certain bearing which, frankly, my dear Shaw, marks me as one of Nature's Noblemen. Not like the foot-shuffling, hands-jammed-into-their-pants-pockets lot of expletive and scatology mumbling lackwits we've been flooded with lately. Consider the shock, sir, of a man of my (admittedly short) stature (although as a friend once told me 'you bulk large in the imagination'), to discover that a man who I have consistently and unreservedly supported (a man, I might add, who I originally met under a Salt Lake City highway overpass, reeking of alcohol, and who attempted to clean my windshield with the bottle of Lavacol he'd just been drinking from and a pair of torn and stained jockey shorts...alright, that might not have been you, but I wouldn't bet on it for a lark, and if it wasn't you, why was he wearing that Patton outfit?), golfs? (everyone still with me? No? Well, stay sharp, you'll get the hang of it eventually) I'm shocked. Shocked, and appalled. Shocked, appalled, and...here, my glass is empty. Back in a while... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: blah blahSince you apaprently can't read your bloody email, am I supposed to pick you up tomorrow or what?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Enough of this pointless twaddle, Seanachai ... where will YOU be at 5:00 PM tomorrow? The whole world wants to know! JoeHaving a bloody beer with you at Lord Fletcher's on St. Albans Bay, now won't I you great, posturing load of Texas duff?! And watching Lars and Dalem oggling young women, no doubt (young people today, so energetic, yet so predictable). Lars, one of my lady friends says to remind you they've posted the 'No Wake' rules on Lake Minnetonka again. I take this to mean if Shaw dies during the evening, we're not allowed to drink whiskey and sing songs to his memory. Which strikes me as horribly wrong, and not indicative a free society. I blame Ashcroft and that load of useless pillocks he's brought into the Justice Department.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by YK2: Great I'll go throw them on the bonfire with all that other male stuff those guys keep leaving around here. Ohhhhh keep that nice big space for my Nic Cage poster, it will look perfect just there. *Pop* cracks open another bottle Sheesh Persephone you sure can knock it back, I thought Roxy could drink, but you make her look like a novice.. Go girl go...... Fancy some p-nuts?Er, beautiful Ladies, would there yet be room for my large, chain-saw sculpture of an Eagle perched on a Salmon (or, as my sister, the former unwilling owner called it 'Vulture Perched On Carp')? And me 'very tasteful and decorative' Jackalope head? Goodness, but you Ladies certainly have a lovely capacity for the genteel drinking of the fermented grape! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Although deep into a 12 of Oasis Brown Ale (what Seanachai is to blithering posts it is to beer), the mention of wine reminds me: Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine there is laughter and good red wine. At least I've always heard it so. Benedicamus Domino! With the exeception of Berli in drag, please return to what you were doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Consider the shock, sir, {snipped} to discover that a man who I have consistently and unreservedly supported {snipped} golfs? (everyone still with me? No? Well, stay sharp, you'll get the hang of it eventually)Ummmm, no, NO I think I can safely say that NONE of us are still with you. In fact I seriously doubt that any of us were EVER with you on this one. Would another, slightly less inebriated CessPooler care to venture a guess as to what the hell he's on about? Mind you I'm glad you'll be there tomorrow, I just hope you make a bit more sense. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Are we going on a boat then? I DO hope Lars isn't being CMBO compliant ... I HATE trying to row those Assault Boats with a rifle butt ... OTOH I DO have a Squire along and you lot don't. So what's proper attire for this shindig anyway? Can I bring my stereo camera ... would any of the lasses mind my getting some REALLY close shots? Stereophotography can be SO cool at times. This should be seriously neat ... oh wait ... dalem will be there won't he ... oh well. JoeWell, as I understand it, Lars has simply thousands of boats...most of them probably sensibly engined with motors for fishing and hunting, but perhaps he has something horribly over-powered that can be used to attract young women into range of your lens. I know, tell them you golf! That'll have them pulling their tank-tops up for your photos! Seriously, Old Foul Joe, if you want to really meet, mix-with, and engage the interest of women, you have to put on the pointy red hat, lad! "Why have you got that stupid looking red hat on?" "It's a penance, dear lady. A gease that I have taken on in order to expiate a sin from my past." "A sin? What's a gease? Penance. You mean like doing the rosary?" "Indeed, Fair One. A gease is like a knightly quest, a committment taken on as a point of honour. And yes, I have sinned." "That hat makes you look really stupid." "Of course. A man with less self-confidence in his manhood would never wear it, and one with less sins on his soul wouldn't need to." "You keep saying you've sinned. I bet you haven't, what kinds of sins would a short, fat fella like you have to worry about?" giggles heavy sigh "Beautiful Lady, they are numerous, and every one a heavy stone on my conscience. But what has driven me to wearing the Gnome Hat of shame is..." a certain amount of whispering, with occasional hand gestures "Oh My God!" "Alas, yes. Also..." more whispers, with soulful looks "Jesus Christ!" "Indeed. And..." further whispering, with the occasional ear-lobe nibbling "You Horrible Old Man!" "Entirely. And so, I wear the Red Hat of Shame." licks lips, pulse fluttering in her throat, and leans further forward, very far forward, and nearer "Er...I was wondering..." "Yes, Oh Venus?" "Could you introduce me to your friend? The one who looks like Gary Shandling?" "Certainly, Fair One. His name is Lars." "Cool. Oh, and if he's not a doctor or lawyer, or anything, I'll be back so you can, you know, show me about that thing several moments of whispering that you have to wear the hat about." "Indeed. You know, that distinguished looking man over there is my friend, as well. If it doesn't work out between you and Lars, would you prefer to meet him?" "Ooooh, no. He looks like he golfs!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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