Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

[Croda]

Update:

After slaughtering Dalem like the family pig, I've set my sights upon Terence.

He is dying faster than athlete's foot at a Tinactin convention.

Right now his entire attack has been stalled by 1 rifle platoon, 1 insanely well placed Hetzer, and a few rounds of 105. A company of GIs sits huddled in the trees around no less than 5 burning hulks of would-have-been American Armor. The sole remaining Sherman is cowering like an Australian at a spelling bee behind some trees. He has no LOS to anything but the Promised Land.

It is turn 10 and he has no prospect of getting any further than he is.

I need a challenge.

[Slapdragon]

The other evening I opened my door, and found what at first I assumed was a bum on my doorstep. I was about to give him the boot when he explained that he was the infamous Hakku Ichui . I said God bless you and let him in. He is not as much of a girly boy as Andreas led me to believe.

Well, he was right about my wife, she is a charmer. Of course he is a bit slanted on other things, but he was suffering from jet lag despite not having crossed a time zone. I was surprised when he went to sleep at around 1800 hours, but no matter.

As to shooting, yes, he can hit a piece of paper with that incredibly huge piece of steel he calls a wheel gun. My little .38 hurt his hand, while he almost dropped my Glock when he fired it.

As for the little pull over when he left, the deputy, who was actually hired from the local college since we here in Richland County don't do that sort of thing, said it was not a hard task, since he was not the first person who had been in that particular territory.

Now, I think he learned a little (about shooting, down Bauh Haus ) I am waiting for Andreas to travel to the mainland for his own experience in the joys of American freedoms. Or perhaps get Sean down from the north to see how things are done in the land of the low country boil.

[ January 31, 2002, 11:32 PM: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[Leeo]

Oh Puh-lease!

You poor city dwellers really ought to get a hovel in the country. My son and I can go out shooting in the backyard (or front yard, or side yard, or even the neighbors yard), without anyone really giving a goat's ass (which is infinitely better than that Yeknodathon idjit).

City livin' is for civilized folks.

[Iskander]

Originally posted by Sledge59:

Send that file immediately! You don't play as well when you're drunk.

Bleary amatuers.

And a Squeer to The Nome as well... what a fecking waste. Perhaps you shouldn't have taken that last left on your way home from the Circle K with your King Cobra last night....

After beating your liege like an expensive Los Cruces whore, I shall demand the privilege of watching him stuff you into a '40' just to see the look on your so-called face.

We really must put a stop to The Bard's peregrinations. Even having Berli's-Owner portray him as 'My Buddy Jesus' crossed (?) with a vision from sumfink that neither Peng nor I would touch could possibly be worth the boot-trailings he drags into here.

Oh, yes: the News.

Lars handles armor like Croda constructs paragraphs. SpeedPump keeps yelling "YA-HOOOO!" but refuses to send a file to keep losing. Intermittantly, Marlow is beating me, but he doesnt know it yet, and I expect him to abandon this game, too.

Life Changing Moment is now DDay minus 24. Kids are no different than dogs, right? right?!?

[Croda]

Originally posted by Iskander:

Um...Ya. You keep telling yourself that.

[Croda]

I'm sitting here expecting turns from 5 of you and you're all sitting on your hands. Is Playmate Fear Factor on early or something?

[Speedy]

Hello possum's

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Speedy:

Hello possum's

You may like to play with your pockets and hang upside down from trees, but don't assume that applies to the rest of us. Pillock.

"OOo, Oo, look at me! I wish I were a marsupial."

Jeez. Get a real life.

(Man, I love having a malt-liquor inflated ego!)

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Leeo:

Oh Puh-lease!

You poor city dwellers really ought to get a hovel in the country. My son and I can go out shooting in the backyard (or front yard, or side yard, or even the neighbors yard), without anyone really giving a goat's ass (which is infinitely better than that Yeknodathon idjit).

City livin' is for civilized folks.

Yes, but the access to running water and having more than 3 teeth in my head makes up for it. However, when I come visit you and your son-nephew (must be complicated that way out in the country) I will be happy to partake in shooting at signs in front of your trailer, as long as I can go back into town to use the flush toilets at the 7-11.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Slappy:

I will be happy to partake in shooting at signs in front of your trailer, as long as I can go back into town to use the flush toilets at the 7-11.

Up in the northland we take pride in the fact that gravity never freezes.

[ January 31, 2002, 11:32 PM: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Slapdragon]

Sean is right now trying to teach me the art of a human wave attack. Unfortunately, I accidently was practicing my artillery at the same time. I don't think I got many gits, but I sure made them duck.

[ January 31, 2002, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[Lars]

AAaargh,

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Sean is right now trying to teach me the art of a human wave attack. Unfortunately, I accidently was practicing my artillery at the same time. I don't think I got many gits, but I sure made them duck.

Duck? Don't flatter yourself, sir. You merely interrupted us during our orisons.

Now, having addressed myself to Slapdragon ( I assume we've all given up raising points of order regarding his status, and just bold him now because it's easier than listening to him gibber on about his status as a Knight), I feel it is necessary to point out one or two things about the experience of playing him.

My many opponents know that I am in the habit of numbering turns sequentially (if, for no other reason, than out of fear that Elvis will somehow be established as a cultural norm), and that, at the end of those turns from myself, I append a lower case 's' to indicate 'Seanachai'. This is a quick aid to myself when checking turns. For example, I often find that my current system, in which folders are organized by 'modified on' date, sometimes turns up anomolous results when playing the Australian Curse, as their turns appear designated as modified 'tomorrow', 'next week', or 'last whitsunday if the moon was full in Christchurch, sod those Kiwi swine'. This because, of course, time is relative, if not completely meaningless in the 'Lucky Country', where the longest measured period of time is 'when did I last have a beer?'

So, by making it quickly clear which turns had been played by myself, no matter whether they appeared earlier than my opponents supposed 'return file', I could easily keep track of what was what.

Enter Slapdragon. His lance like intelligence apparently immediately caused him to conclude:

"Ah, I see. Seanachai labels his turns with an 's' for Seanachai. Therefore, in keeping with the system and to help keep my turns straight, I will lable mine with an 's' for Slapdragon."

And the gods wept.

Or, the pudding in his head held the following conversation:

"My very beloved opponent Seanachai apparently prefers that a lower-case s be added to the files. I'll not stop and wonder why that might be, for any conclusion I might reach would doubtless merely reveal me as an ignorant pillock. Therefore, and to stay on the good side of this being whose boots I am not fit to lick, I will make sure to add that 's' to all my turns as well, thereby propitiating the ÜberGnome."

In any case, the result is the same. I have been left sitting, chin in hand, contemplating whether evolution is really a linear process. I'm sure that where Slapdragon lives, the term 'evolution' isn't even taught in the schools, so he'll be left mystified by my last remark.

Or perhaps he'll take note, ponder for a short time, and then begin appending a small 'e' after the 's' on his turns. Which would, at least, distinguish them from mine.

[ February 01, 2002, 12:47 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Seanachai has finally appeared. And he's got some MGs as pickets, plus (shockingly!) some on-map mortars. Gee, I wonder if those could possibly be M1917s, you gamey bastard? Remember how I roasted Cpl. Yarblefondler last game, or whatever the feck his name was. You'll get more of the same. We hate the uberGnome.

Agua Perdido

Ah, I've finally appeared, have I?

Then send a bloody turn! I've taken to actually sending my next turn without waiting for yours, which is no mean trick, and the only way the current game will be finished within the lifetime of an aging ÜberGnome.

[ February 01, 2002, 01:01 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Or perhaps he'll take note, ponder for a short time, and then begin appending a small 'e' after the 's' on his turns. Which would, at least, distinguish them from mine.

Or perhaps I must mention the truth. It took me a month and constant pleading to get the yutz to stop zipping his files, a worthless practice when you notice it saves (gasp) about 20k of space on a 250k file. If getting him to stop something simple like zipping took that long, then perhaps I would be in my old age before I was actually able to make him number turns in a way that made any sense.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by BilgeRat:

Bah! I mean Aaarrgh!

Jeffrey Farnol is it? What poppycock! You will rue the day you wrote such a jibe as even now I dust off long forgotten masterpieces of early 20th century popular fiction The Broad Highway, The Amateur Gentleman.... Oh yes indeed, forsooth, prithee......

You are sorely mistaken if you think I would waste good British gunpowder on the likes of such a cowardly and craven buffoon as Shaw. I have no wish to endure the tedium of pursueing Shaw through his archipelago of quibbles.

Tha BilgeRat has never served aboard a pirate nor even a privateer such as those that populate the pages penned by the likes of Sabatini or Farnol. HM Navy employs many forms of punishment but keelhauling is not among them. Such ignorance is not a suprise coming from a bungler whose nautical themed thread foundered at the first post. I dare not for fear of apoplexy mention further the infamous rendering of the Articles of War. Literary might O'brian be but 'is dialogue is hardly more authentic than that of Farnol and Co.

The most fervent and virulent wrath I cultivate for the French...those pests of the human race and their ilk. Like Monsewer Jefferey the blustering braggart still cowering in his harbour fearful of the British broadsides. I suppose that if a crustacean crawled forth from the Sludge some sport might be had wacking it with a marline-spike. Let us hope Sludge by name, sludge by nature don't apply to it's playing style as it does to it's gelatinous prose.

On the subject of prose, I note the latest addition to the ship's livestock, the Yak (misindentified by the ignorant as a donkey), was almost tolerable when spouting verse but has all but run aground now. It's fawning over the more decrepit members of the crew seems to have attracted the attention of Mace.....

Some small noise has been made of late regarding Squire 'Quests' (no, Bauhaus, we are not speaking about 'Johnny Quest's father in England'. Er, yes, Bandit was a very good dog. Now be quiet.)

Therefore, attend, Bilgerat, and my own good Squire, Sledge59.

I wish you, Sledge59, to offer combat as the French, in order to make this Bilgerat fellow come forward and play a game. Also, just so that the amenities are observed, and so that he has no room to hem and haw, I wish you to taunt him in a right Froggy fashion, in order to heat his blood and stir him to the utmost willingness to combat.

Bilgerat, please note that shortly my Squire shall taunt you in a fashion befitting the French, and shall take the role of the French in his game with you. Should you then ignore his Challenge, or decline combat, or otherwise piss around like some Portsmouth tart, we of the Peng Challenge Thread can only conclude that you are unfit to serve, and remand you to a prison hulk in the estuary, or, worse yet, Transport you to Australia.

[OGSF]

Idjit Neckthudder...are ye tae taill mae tha' ye gettin' ye fly-bitten arse kacked aboot every bleedin' map ye playin' on? Well done lad, keep oop tha guid worrk!

Nooo, sum gam oopdates o' mah ain...

Dalem ye Michelin tread filler...are we playin' a gam at tha moment? Af'n soo, ye kin saind tha turrn back any teem ye like....ye wee patch o' lark spittle.

Berli, tha hoose o' cards as aboot tae collapse aboot ye pointy ears mon...

Lars, tha ainly thang tha'll save ye shingle scarred hide as time...

Leeo, Ah fer wun understand ye resortin' tae tha demon liquor...at's a slaughter ain tha snoo an' ye're tha slaughtee..

Lawyer as hidin' an tha thickets....Ah thank the fire will spread a wee bit yet tho...

Speedy, ye tha frog ain a bucket an' Ah'm tha proverbial wee fat laddie wi' a baseball bat...

Stuka as seein' hais very ugly British Airborne sassanch bastaards bein' blowin' back tae Blighty as hae attaimpts tae take oot tha German High Command.

Mace, Ah never daid sae tha scenario fraim tha bloated hedgehog raodkill sniffer, Mensch...Ah'll see yoo Jimmy ain tha blue yonder...

Bastables as aboot tae collapse an' defeacate upon hissailf ain our wee 13 turn gam.

Ah'm sae feckin' excellaint, mah wee span'l as playin' half mah gams fer mae!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Feckin' UBB]

[ February 01, 2002, 01:22 AM: Message edited by: OGSF ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

It took me a month and constant pleading to get the yutz to stop zipping his files, a worthless practice when you notice it saves (gasp) about 20k of space on a 250k file.

A man who would spend that length of time pleading to avoid the single second of time it should take him to deal with a compressed file is a man who will spend eternity partnered with the 'Irish Elk' in the Wax Museum of Evolutionary Dead Ends.

You might consider, Slapdragon, whether I compress files in order to save a

bit of space, or whether it's to determine which of my opponents foul themselves when confronted by a simple technological task.

Now, lad, I promise 'no more confusing and awkward file formats'. Unfurrow your brow, stop pouting, and go change your trousers.

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I would say you whine as much as Hakku Ichui [/b[, but that would be a calumny, he whines a bit more.

In reality, I find you sort of a character is a B movie. Sort of like Emperor Wang. In fact, I should just bold your new nickname, Emperor Wang of Seanachai. Now I get to call you "your protruberance" and all of those wonderful titles Wang collected in that fine example of film making.

Cheer up Wang, I don't imagine you will have to face Joe Shaw and his power pasties for some time now.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Iskander:

Life Changing Moment is now DDay minus 24. Kids are no different than dogs, right? right?!?

Depends on what you marinate them in.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Croda:

Update:

After slaughtering Dalem like the family pig, I've set my sights upon Terence.

If 57 to 43, or whatever it was, is a slaughter, then so be it. I was going to send something over tonight, but I got back late from a "Bruce Campbell presents a remastered copy of Evil Dead on film" thing tonight.

I'll win back one of my dog's ears yet again with a QB I'll send over tomorrow.

My question for Saturday: Do I buy a Ruger Vaquero in .45 LC or a Winchester 1894?

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Croda:

Update:

After slaughtering Dalem like the family pig, I've set my sights upon Terence.

If 57 to 43, or whatever it was, is a slaughter, then so be it. I was going to send something over tonight, but I got back late from a "Bruce Campbell presents a remastered copy of Evil Dead on film" thing tonight.

I'll win back one of my dog's ears yet again with a QB I'll send over tomorrow.

My question for Saturday: Do I buy a Ruger Vaquero in .45 LC or a Winchester 1894?</font>

[dalem]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

A pistol versus a rifle, get them both. Screw the wife and kiddies.

Married with spratlings? Me? Are you kidding? How the hell do you think I can afford all this ironmongery?

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Slapdragon:

A pistol versus a rifle, get them both. Screw the wife and kiddies.

Married with spratlings? Me? Are you kidding? How the hell do you think I can afford all this ironmongery? </font>

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Leeo:

Oh Puh-lease!

You poor city dwellers really ought to get a hovel in the country. My son and I can go out shooting in the backyard (or front yard, or side yard, or even the neighbors yard), without anyone really giving a goat's ass (which is infinitely better than that Yeknodathon idjit).

City livin' is for civilized folks.

No, not quite right. It's Idjit Yeknod not Yeknod Idjit... no Chinese ancestory here... the Idjit prefix prepares the mind for the sublime word pattern and sounds of the the Yeknod, the one complementing the other, like the slither of moist vegetables and crunchiness of deep-fried batter balls... bit like a Chinese meal... or the thwack of a carpenter's hammer on his thumb.... again.

Idjit Yeknod

[ February 01, 2002, 03:07 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]