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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Now, there's something I'd suport you on.

Seanachai for Pope!

SATAN IS WITH US! ALROIGHT, GIVE IT UP FOR SATAN!

If this isn't the beginning of an Activist, Hands-On, Coalition Papacy, then WHAT BLOODY WELL IS?!!

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When I am Pope, my first act will be to do a tour of...Australia!

Yes, Australia! God commands me to go to Australia!

There I will do mighty works to convert the heathens, and bring them all into the fold.

AND WE WILL HAVE THE LARGEST, MOST PISSED BARBECUE THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN! WE WILL BAPTIZE THE HEATHENS IN VIC BITTER, TASMANIAN ALES, AND THOS. COOPER AND SONS STOUT!

I will create a number of new Bishoprics, and Mace and Goanna will be Top Aussie Archbishops!

'The Lord is my Shepherd' will take on a whole, new, horrible meaning!

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

OH, YEAH! I'M GONNA HAVE ME A BIG HAT! A REALLY, REALLY BIG SODDING HAT! AND NO COWS!

AND ACCESS TO THE FINEST PERUVIAN FLAKE, FAT, RESIN SLICK BUDS OF COLUMBIANO, AND ALL THE 'FDA, WE DON'T NEED NO STEENKING FDA' PHARMACEUTICALS THAT THE IMMENSE POWER OF THE VATICAN CAN POUR INTO MY PALSIED, TWISTED, GRASPING LITTLE HANDS!

YEAH! IT'S GOOD TO BE THE POPE!

You ever been to Vatican City? I mean, you walk through closet after room after building filled with gold, silver, and priceless works of art.

IF THAT'S POVERTY, BABY, BRING ON THE CELIBACY!

You know, the last time the Church tried this, they got the Reformation. So what I'm wondering is: How many more Lutherans do you want to bring into the world? I mean, look what they did to the Midwest already. Not to mention Norway. How much more of that can we take? Tuna noodle cassarole from sea to shining sea?

Think about it.

Michael

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Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

You know, the last time the Church tried this, they got the Reformation. So what I'm wondering is: How many more Lutherans do you want to bring into the world?

Michael

But Michael, I'm here to save them! I will convert the Lutherans! Through the efforts of my Papacy, they will once again become concerned and obsessed with their own sins, rather than the sins of their neighbours!

AND AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME PRIMO SINNING!

SINS FOR ALL! WHO'S WITH ME?!!!

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

A COMPLETE PAPAL DISPENSATION TO THE FIRST 25 SINNERS WHO EMBRACE ME AS POPE!

And by 'embrace', I mean full body hugs, but no tongue.

I think you'd better clear that with me first... I ain't given up anything I've aquired
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In order to streamline 'tithing' (which will help pay for my hideous chemical excesses as Pope Seanachai I), I will set up a Papal 'PayPal' account! My God! The irony!

This will allow 'sinners' to make direct, secure internet payments to my Papacy. We may even set up 'categories', such as: Buy Pope Seanachai a beer; Buy Pope Seanachai a really, really fine single malt Scotch; Buy Pope Seanachai the Very Finest Botanical Psychoactive Compounds; Win a Vacation Trip With Pope Seanachai to Hunt Poisonous Snakes with a .410, and (my personal favourite) Send Pope Seanachai to Scotland, Australia, and Finland for a Major Boozer!

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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

]I think you'd better clear that with me first... I ain't given up anything I've aquired

They're not yours until I'm done with them.

And after I'm done with them, Heaven will be their only refuge.

I realize this might cut into your 'take' a bit, but I'm willing to concede to your care all the souls that will not embrace me as Pope.

See if you get as good a deal out of the Italians, you fool.

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Bah! The current Administration has already sent more souls to Heaven than you've got throwing sulfur onto the natural gas jets and waving their pitchforks in the air while shouting 'Urra!'

Oh, well, except for those souls they've suddenly and arbitrarily decided should be put on a feeding tube.

What the hell? The only thing I can figure is that Jeb Bush had Terri Schiavo on the lists as a 'voting Republican'.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Bah! The current Administration has already sent more souls to Heaven than you've got throwing sulfur onto the natural gas jets and waving their pitchforks in the air while shouting 'Urra!'

What're you babblin' aboot? The current Administration has a pre-paid, one way ticket down
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