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Cheery Waffles, TNT, and Maggots, oh my!


Wallybob

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To Nevermind, I have sent you numerous emails about our PBEM game, and remember you said something about the cherry waffle thread. Contact me to tell me you aren't interested. I got stood up in high school too much, I have a complex!

Are you there, or cowering? ;)

SgtAbell

[ February 24, 2004, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: sgtabell ]

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Originally posted by sgtabell:

To Nevermind, I have sent you numerous emails about our PBEM game, and remember you said something about the cherry waffle thread. Contact me to tell me you aren't interested. I got stood up in high school too much, I have a complex!

Are you there, or cowering? ;)

SgtAbell

You really should look into getting your email problems fixed.I have many PBEM opponents and you are the only one who never gets any of the turns I send.I have sent you another email.It will be the last one.
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I figure Snarker is sleeping it off right now, lying in a puddle of his own fluids on a bathroom floor somewhere, and I didn't want him to miss the fact that he's always in our hearts and in our thoughts, so I reproduce this from the Fiefdom General News thread:

Kitty Declares: Attack a Waffle and die. It's as simple as that, Sarge. *shrugs*

Sgt. Viljuri Declares: !!!

Seanachai Declares: Pour syrup on a Waffle, though, Viljuri, and it's like giving the morning a great big hug.

Seanachai Declares: Many's the time I've heard Snarker say that there's nothing he enjoys more than being showered with golden goodness.

dalem Declares: Sure that's SYRUP he's talking about there, Seanachai?

Kitty Declares: Don't be mean to Snarker when he's not here...oh go ahead. =)

Seanachai Declares: Well, he usually says 'sweet golden goodness', but I don't know if that's because he thinks its cool, and by that he means totally sweet, or if it's a taste thing. And with Snarker, even the taste aspect could be very, very subjective.

Kitty Declares: Go, dalem! Go, dalem! Go dalem! =)

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Hi Maggots! A friend sent me this e-mail, and I laughed so hard I wanted to share them with you. Some of these I had seen before, but almost all of them made me laugh out loud.

Analogies, Similes and Metaphors Found in High School Essays

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. (for Axe!)

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her chest heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

28. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

29. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Hope you enjoyed them.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

I figure Snarker is sleeping it off right now, lying in a puddle of his own fluids on a bathroom floor somewhere, and I didn't want him to miss the fact that he's always in our hearts and in our thoughts, so I reproduce this from the Fiefdom General News thread:

Kitty Declares: Attack a Waffle and die. It's as simple as that, Sarge. *shrugs*

Sgt. Viljuri Declares: !!!

Seanachai Declares: Pour syrup on a Waffle, though, Viljuri, and it's like giving the morning a great big hug.

Seanachai Declares: Many's the time I've heard Snarker say that there's nothing he enjoys more than being showered with golden goodness.

dalem Declares: Sure that's SYRUP he's talking about there, Seanachai?

Kitty Declares: Don't be mean to Snarker when he's not here...oh go ahead. =)

Seanachai Declares: Well, he usually says 'sweet golden goodness', but I don't know if that's because he thinks its cool, and by that he means totally sweet, or if it's a taste thing. And with Snarker, even the taste aspect could be very, very subjective.

Kitty Declares: Go, dalem! Go, dalem! Go dalem! =)

:mad: I am not amused! Well, maybe a little.
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Yes, Soddball, who jumps around just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease, Snarker and I have finished Inferno. There was great loss of life, and dozens of burning wrecks littering the battlefield. Most of the buildings in the town were on fire, too. It was a hard-earned victory for the Allies, who survived both the Axis and an amazingly inaccurate friendly bombardment directly on top of newly arrived reinforcements. Snarker made it really uncomfortable by attacking all over the map, from every direction. My biggest break was my infantry catching some of his armor in the narrow streets in town. :eek: :eek:

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Originally posted by Robohn:

Luckily, he did not seem to like where my Aircobra dropped its 500 pounder. Go USAAF!

Wiped out an entire 12-man squad, four men in another squad, three of four platoon HQ members and immobilized a PzIII.

And a partridge in a pear tree. :mad: :mad: :mad:

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