Andreas Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Andreas: Idiots, both of you. I am German, I don't joke. The frog is gone to meet its maker, joined the bleedin' choir invisible. Hence 'was'. Okay......... Thanks Andreas, that clears it up for me. Don't know how I missed it. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_mike_the_wino2 Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: I am German, I don't joke. Never truer words spoken. Last time the Teutons had a go at fun, it took 7 years to make them go home and 20 years to rebuild Europe. Let's not have THAT again, shall we? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1: I thought the punch line was the two year old nephew part, I just don't get it....can you explain Jim ? Idiots, both of you. I am German, I don't joke. The frog is gone to meet its maker, joined the bleedin' choir invisible. Hence 'was'. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1: I thought the punch line was the two year old nephew part, I just don't get it....can you explain Jim ? Maybe the shreds part is the key? resolved into shreds of it's constituent elements. Sheesh! It's like trying to decode those French Underground messages. Wounds my heart with monotonous regularity. Even that's funnier. Can I vote three times for Andreas? This is almost becoming a comedic emergency. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by mike_the_squire: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Andreas: I am German, I don't joke. Never truer words spoken. Last time the Teutons had a go at fun, it took 7 years to make them go home and 20 years to rebuild Europe. Let's not have THAT again, shall we? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: Do you want me to open them, and discuss the lEEtness of the Waffen-SS with the other grogs, who are so handily assembled in here? Punk. Germans... sheesh... that would be l33tness... unter-brain, u suk go hang on a CS forum for a while l8r 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 But that is simple. You just produce CM without the Germans in it. So that would feature the Allies sitting around being nice to each other, apart from Bradley and Patton shouting at Monty, and everyone making snide remarks about the cheese that de Gaulle brought to the picknick. Sounds riveting to me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_mike_the_wino2 Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Lars, don't you have a turn to send out or sumfink? I know this whole "Makeover" is right up your alley but do try and stay focused on the important things. editted to add: I am gonna beat you like the Raiders in a Monday Night Football game. [ September 23, 2003, 11:53 AM: Message edited by: mike_the_squire ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Mouse: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Abbott: Good morning, Nonsense, you just didn't translate his grog-talk correctly... Originally posted by JasonC:In WW I tanks had to stop..</font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: You'll understand that I don't want to give everything away, but I can reveal that it will include such thrilling rides as The Nitpick and The Hairsplit. The latter will have you on the edge of your seat. Or the seat of your edge, as the case may be. Michael Just make sure that those giant teacups have the right number of rivets for the year represented by their camo pattern, or else! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 "Good evening everyone and welcome to the Grog Comedy Nightclub. Tonight we wish to welcome those masters of grog, the world famous Hans & Franz!!! Hans: Good evening Ladies and Germans! Audience: Bwahahahah!!! Franz: It's realy great to be here at Latitude 28.6 W, Longitude 13.9 N. Hans: Idiot, it's 13.8 N Audience: HAhaha!!....Good one...That's telling him! Franz: Say Hans, why are you limping? Hans: Well, I was visiting my girl friend and her husband came home unexpectedly. Franz: Really? Why didn't you just run away? Hans: I couldn't. I was carrying a Panzerschrect Audience: Hey, you can run with a Panzerschrect!!...Yeah, I got pictures.....You're fulla bullocks, ya can't run with a Schreck....He's right! You forget to factor in the weight of the ammo....The Yanks could run with a bazooka!!...That's it....Get Em!!! Two hours later, after the police left, the club closed for the night. Only two arrests were made. Andreas was charged with resolving Hans into his constituent elements, and Michael Emrys was charged with groping around underneath the theater seats. As Emrys was taken he away, he kept shouting "Tactics, I tell you, I was practising my tactics!!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by mike_the_squire: Lars, don't you have a turn to send out or sumfink?Sent last night, didn't you receive it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Chit-ty bang bang, Chit-ty Chit-ty Bang Bang, Chit-ty bang bang, Chit-ty Chit-ty Bang Bang, Chit-ty bang bang, Chit-ty Chit-ty Bang Bang! SNIPPED! because it goes on like that forever. Hiram. I had up till now, always believed stupidity to be self-limiting, and I never thought it possible that someone of your cerebral "endowment" could rise above the station of village idiot. I see you as a bucolic quarter-wit, walking in circles in the park, stopping every few feet to examine every piece of glass, bottle cap, foil condom wrapper and shiny object. And yet, here you are, an acclaimed Knight of the Pool. How do you account for this? Who slipped up? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Mouse: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrPeng: But fraternizing? NEVER! Come on Pengy... release all that pent-up anger you have... there are therapy sessions available for you, you know. We mice feel for the wounded child inside you... snip M - I - C... K - E - Y... M - O - U - S - E..... Have you never let go the pain that built up day after day when Annette failed to respond to your desperate letters... when no matter how hard you waved and shouted at the television "Annette! Over here! I'm over here!" she never quite looked your way with that smile you yearned for... after all she talked and played with Cubby... and Tommy... but poor old Pengie never got any... We are all really quite sorry that Annette didn't pick you for beach blanket bingo, but get over it! Stop watching those old black and white reruns, and move on... Go stalk Buffy or sumfink... </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Hirsute Hiram’s Gamey Updates It’s been a while since I’ve updated you on my CM struggles. I hope you haven’t missed the news too badly. Elvis He is cheating but not winning. Go figure!! Since he is also an Eagles fan, there is a conundrum having to do with good and evil that I won’t go into now. Suffice it to say, he is a bitter old man who plays grabass with Peng on a daily basis. They both went to High School in NJ and I’m sure they fought over the same girl on more than one occasion. "Mary Jane "RottenCrotch" comes to mind. Moriarty This is a titanic struggle between the inept. Who will win the battle of the intellectually impaired? Oh, pretend to care!! Lee Oh He whines and whimpers and mah superior CM authauratah spanks his unworthy butt across the map. I am defending and he is losing. Am I the only one who thinks he in the conjoined twin of Dalem? Boo Radley He made the map and knows every nook and cranny of it. He sent it to me so he will be guaranteed a win. But, since he is myopic and a whiney bee-otch, there may be a chance he might lose anyway. Know that I am returning turns on an almost daily basis now. I may not win all of my challenges, but I am returning turns. I may not smell like stagnant sewer juice like some of my opponents, but I am doing the right thing. PS Peng, I have seen more panache, wit, and better writing from the second grade class at Clara Barton School in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You can do better. Well, we hope you can. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 If I could have one thing for my birthday I would probably have to choose watching Peng sand his own face off with a very course grit paper. On the other hand, if I could pick up Peng by his ankles and beat Hiram to death with him that would be a pretty good one too. Maybe Boo would then walk by and slip and fall in the bloodpool, and when MrSpkr came up to ask who wanted to sue whom, he would fall off of his unicycle and bury the top of his pointy head in Boo's chest. The gout of blood from Boo's aorta could arc in a huge red stream across the street, which would make Old Joe look up from the road and swerve his Pinto onto the curb where Seanachai would be sounding out the words in his latest Terry Pratchett novel. The huge fireball that would result from the detonation of the Pinto racing to envelop him would be the last thing Andreas would ever see as the arcing stream of Booblood from across the street smashed through his glasses and drove his eyeballs back into his bulging forebrain. Then Berli, watching all on his Olde-One Crystal Ball, would laugh so hard that he would cough up a lung and choke on it. Yeah, that would be a birthday. [ September 23, 2003, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: dalem ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: If I could have one thing for my birthday I would probably have to choose watching Peng sand his own face off with a very course grit paper. On the other hand, if I could pick up Peng by his ankles and beat Hiram to death with him that would be a pretty good one too. Maybe Boo would then walk by and slip and fall in the bloodpool, and when MrSpkr came up to ask who wanted to sue whom, he would fall off of his unicycle and bury the top of his pointy head in Boo's chest. The gout of blood from Boo's aorta could arc in a huge red stream across the street, which would make Old Joe look up from the road and swerve his Pinto onto the curb where Seanachai would be sounding out the words in his latest Terry Pratchett novel. The huge fireball that would result from the detonation of the Pinto racing to envelop him would be the last thing Andreas would ever see as the arcing stream of Booblood from across the street smashed through his glasses and drove his eyeballs back into his bulging forebrain. Then Berli, watching all on his Olde-One Crystal Ball, would laugh so hard that he would cough up a lung and choke on it. Yeah, that would be a birthday. What! No cake? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 My interpretation of what Peng really is: Some thoughts shared by a hairy fellow The memories are still within me. I can still feel Peng. The First Sergeant would form us up for the 12 mile road march and ensure we were at port arms. Our rucksacks didn’t feel too heavy yet. First mile wasn’t that tough. We stayed in formation and looked around. We weren’t allowed to talk too much and we took in the scenery. Telephone poles and sad little military buildings… Seventh mile: the thighs begin chafing and the feet don’t feel so good. What is that? Oh, it’s Peng. The pain can be ignored and I continue singing in my mind: "I love to go swimmen with bowl legged wimmen and swim between their legs" Tenth mile: Body is screaming at me. It hates me and it knows that Peng is the reason for the open blisters and the raw and painful thigh chafing. Every step feels like it should make you cry but you don’t because you don’t want Peng to win. Peng is a sadistic bastard and you should never, ever let him win because he is evil and should be stopped. Eleventh mile: Just one more mile. How many more telephone poles is that? One mile. So very long. Peng has made you hungry, thirsty, writhe in pain and has given the guy in front of you a bad case of gas. We hate Peng. I walk like an old lady or like Seanachai because of all the assorted pains. My feet are hot and I wish they were numb. The granola bars have been eaten and I have to walk the lizard, but I know what Peng is. Finnally!! I can see my barracks from here. But, Peng is doing his damnedest to keep me from getting there. Oh, Charlie Horse? Lean on the other leg. It will get better. Kevlar too heavy? Let your head rest on your chest. Watch the jungle boots move. They have to keep moving. Beat Peng Beat Peng Just memories…but I wonder why Peng and Pain are so similar when spoken with a New Jersey accent. I also wonder if he uses lube when spending a romantical night with Elvis. These are things I shouldn’t know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: If I could have one thing for my birthday I would probably have to choose watching Peng sand his own face off with a very course grit paper. On the other hand, if I could pick up Peng by his ankles and beat Hiram to death with him that would be a pretty good one too. Maybe Boo would then walk by and slip and fall in the bloodpool, and when MrSpkr came up to ask who wanted to sue whom, he would fall off of his unicycle and bury the top of his pointy head in Boo's chest. The gout of blood from Boo's aorta could arc in a huge red stream across the street, which would make Old Joe look up from the road and swerve his Pinto onto the curb where Seanachai would be sounding out the words in his latest Terry Pratchett novel. The huge fireball that would result from the detonation of the Pinto racing to envelop him would be the last thing Andreas would ever see as the arcing stream of Booblood from across the street smashed through his glasses and drove his eyeballs back into his bulging forebrain. Then Berli, watching all on his Olde-One Crystal Ball, would laugh so hard that he would cough up a lung and choke on it. Yeah, that would be a birthday. GLORYOSKY!!! ... and the Mouse lives on... Oh yassssss.... now where did that Little Annie Fanny cartoon go to... [ September 23, 2003, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Mouse ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 ... and the Mouse lives on... Oh yassssss.... now where did that Little Annie Fanny cartoon go to... In BFC's wisdom they left the mouse out of CMBB. In The Pool's ongoing lack of the same, they let him in. Go figure? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 I'm thinking that Dalem can wish in one hand and... need I say more? He will probably spend the rest of his sad little existance afraid of me. I challenged him a while ago and he turned tail and ran way. Bravely ran away. I could care about his supposed Birthday wish but then I would be pretending because he is less than a man because he didn't accept my challenge. I expectorate upon that silly, unimaginative username and wave my hairy hinquarters in his direction. He is only worthy of derision and scorn. He has these sad little fantasies with me, him, and Peng in them. Can you be more creepy? Edited to note that I strive to be more like both Germanboy and Andreas but I suffer from an American Education and I am not "uber" in any way. I weep because of my inability to be him. I shall light a candle by his picture this night and beg the gods to have mercy upon my poor non-Germanic soul. [ September 23, 2003, 04:24 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Abbott: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> ... and the Mouse lives on... Oh yassssss.... now where did that Little Annie Fanny cartoon go to... In BFC's wisdom they left the mouse out of CMBB. In The Pool's ongoing lack of the same, they let him in. Go figure? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: <font size=-1>That was a frog hand puppet. It is significantly more amusing than anything you have posted here, ever. And that is while it is stowed at the bottom of my dirty underwear hamper.</font>You wore a frog hand puppet... as UNDERWEAR? Thank god for the lack of pictures, eh? (Where's Persephone when you really need her?) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 BFC left out the Maus idjit... ooh, I see, it was a play on words. Maus and Mouse. Oh, jolly good, that one was... What a clever boy you are... nay, not just clever, but smart... not just smart, but bordering on genius... not just an inkling but a font of genius... You, my boy, must be a super-genius to have come up with something like that... now go make like Wile E. Coyote and let a ten ton rock fall on you. That is the one I am going to Battlefront with! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: I'm thinking that Dalem can wish in one hand and... need I say more? He will probably spend the rest of his sad little existance afraid of me. I challenged him a while ago and he turned tail and ran way. Bravely ran away. I could care about his supposed Birthday wish but then I would be pretending because he is less than a man because he didn't accept my challenge. I expectorate upon that silly, unimaginative username and wave my hairy hinquarters in his direction. He is only worthy of derision and scorn. He has these sad little fantasies with me, him, and Peng in them. Can you be more creepy? You don't have to hide behind words Hiram, you can express your inhuman protolove for me and my empty hand. I remember the challenge differently and I remember you curling up in a fetal ball of shaking almost-man flesh. But that's neither here nor there. I accept your challenge. Send me a setup. less than 1000 points please, any other conditions are yours to pick. I relish your impending dissolution in the caustic pit of my greatness. -dale [ September 23, 2003, 05:18 PM: Message edited by: dalem ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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