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Originally posted by stevetherat:

... which relaced my Tom Jones catalogue, due to uncontrollable...

...urges by Nippon boy to emulate Tom Jones by removing underwear and throwing it a crowd of screaming women.

Unfortunately, the person chosen to provide the underwear had no idea what was to transpire, was wearing them at the time, and was thus very surprised to be at the receiving end of perhaps the most severest wedgie ever recorded.

This person was none other than...

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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

... Chupacabra. Unfortunately, the undergarments in question were in flagrant violation of the Hague Convention on Chemical Warfare, and the resultant...

...stench had Chupacabra dragged outside and shot like the dog he was. However, Chupacabra was widely known as one baaad mutha', so to make sure of his forced demise, his executioners had to...

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....enough of this nancy wancy stuff, and picked up the flamethrower, that magically appeared out of nowhere ( up much research and millions of dollars spent a Royal Commission was unable to find out exactly where nowhere was ) , then turned to point it at.....

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...the nearest toilet bowl thanks to the crud you brainiacs put him through.

"When I get *HUUURL* my lady-like claws on you" yelled Chuppy through waves of vomit,

"I'll *HUURRRL*...

... grab at your flanks and run *HUUURRLL* my armor into your rear, just like that gamey Snot, BASF! And when I do, then you’ll feel ...”

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Originally posted by Mace:

... The lad had a penchant for eating desert while on a killing spree, the result of ...

... certain indignities suffered at the hands of a particularly naughty Uncle (or possibly 2nd cousin-once-removed, it being difficult to untangle the branches of his family tree). Uncle Mikey would routinely spirit him away from the schoolyards at recess time to ...

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...play "Touch the Monkey" or "Grab the Roll of Quarters", which he fondly recalled was his favorite game. Though he never seemed able to completely free the roll of quaters from his Uncle's pocket, Chup enjoyed this game very much, and from all the grunting and groaning coming from his Uncle, Chup figured he enjoyed it just as much.

To his therapist Chup recalled that one day, while tugging vigorously on the stubborn roll of quaters, he recalled seeing...

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Originally posted by jshandorf:

To his therapist Chup recalled that one day, while tugging vigorously on the stubborn roll of quaters, he recalled seeing...

..Madmatt in the distance, looking for a suitable thread to lock down!

"Damn, not one in sight. And I so want to ruin some loser's day", said Matt, failing to notice that a lurking faq thread was not only way OT, but reaking of Cess!

Meanwhile, the Uncle let out a sigh of relief when he....

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...saw the nefarious Mr. Clean post in this mssg -

http://www.gicombat.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000013.html

- clearly, he was too busy wishing for ultimate power and control over all the miniscule RTS'ers of said forum.

Then Chupacabra sneezed and everything went to hell. The bald man turned and focusing his hawk-like beady lil' eyes on our sorry excuse for a child-molestor victim, proclaimed in his booming girlish sing-song, that...

[This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 02-06-2001).]

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Originally posted by The Commissar:

...saw the nefarious Mr. Clean post in this mssg -

http://www.gicombat.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000013.html

- clearly, he was too busy wishing for ultimate power and control over all the miniscule RTS'ers of said forum.

Then Chupacabra sneezed and everything went to hell. The bald man turned and focusing his hawk-like beady lil' eyes on our sorry excuse for a child-molestor victim, proclaimed in his booming girlish sing-song, that...

[This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 02-06-2001).]

...Fee, Fie, Foe, Fum, I smell the blood of a cesspoolian. At this the mighty bald one reached deep into his pants and whipped out...

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Originally posted by Speedy:

...a lovely iced volvo, he then proceeded to....

...ram the delicacy into his own mouth with one mighty shove. He pulled out another, and did the same. Then another, and another, continuing this until the packet of Iced Vovos was exhausted.

His transformation was complete, he no longer looked like some ferocious bald-headed neanderthal, but with extended cheeks full of food, like a gigantic, furless hamster.

Everyone...

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Originally posted by Mace:

...ram the delicacy into his own mouth with one mighty shove. He pulled out another, and did the same. Then another, and another, continuing this until the packet of Iced Vovos was exhausted.

His transformation was complete, he no longer looked like some ferocious bald-headed neanderthal, but with extended cheeks full of food, like a gigantic, furless hamster.

Everyone...

...stopped their dancing and stared at Mace and his wooly sidekick, "Sparky".

"Good on ya, Sparky!" We don't need them to have a good time. Lets start...

------------------

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

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Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

...stopped their dancing and stared at Mace and his wooly sidekick, "Sparky".

"Good on ya, Sparky!" We don't need them to have a good time. Lets start...

"...a sheep humping cult! Hey Matt, you in on this?" Meeks called out. Obtaining no responce, he turned to look where second before Madmatt was bent over, eating things pulled at random from his pants.

He saw no one. An empty Iced Volo packet was the only sign of what transpired here not a moment before. Meeks felt a brooding, evil, immensely obese presence sizing him up from...somewhere.

The whining scream of Sparky made him twirl like a balerina and look upon the most hideous sight he had ever seen - next to the one time a long time ago when he looked into a mirror - ...

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Originally posted by The Commissar:

The whining scream of Sparky made him twirl like a balerina and look upon the most hideous sight he had ever seen - next to the one time a long time ago when he looked into a mirror - ...

...a collection of Rune's latest CMBO scenarios and operations, evil incarnate. So evil that sulphur and brimstone oozed out of them (or so Rune keeps telling us) and...

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Originally posted by Mace:

...a collection of Rune's latest CMBO scenarios and operations, evil incarnate. So evil that sulphur and brimstone oozed out of them (or so Rune keeps telling us) and...

....the mere mention of the name of "Rune" will make old ladies scurry back into their houses while making the sign of the cross. They remember the days when Rune walked the earth with his friends; Death, Famine, Pestilence. Berlighten, etc. The question we all ask ourselves is -- Is Rob/1 Rune's evil stepson or is he...

------------------

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

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