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Originally posted by Mace:

.....brain in the hope to form a frontal lobotomy and cure his insanity.

Mensch was surprised to find however that he didn't have a brain but a....

...chunk of cheese that sang, danced and played...

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

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Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

...chunk of cheese that sang, danced and played...

...Innagaddadevita, but fortunately, the short version by Mojo Nixon, thereby allowing him time to ...

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At last! A new hard drive! Now I can lose five times as many PBEMs!

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... He wracked his brains. "Where do I live?", he inquired feverishly of Thermopylae. "Far away from me, mate!" was the response. "In your cell, you freaks!" interjected the guards, digging the pair out from their hideaway amidst the laundry. Resigned to a return to captivity, help came in the unlikely form of a 50-ton German armoured vehicle which crashed through the wall, decapitating the guards with its gun barrel.

"See!", the drive exclaimed, "Tanks should be able to drive through buildings!". At this he jubilantly threw the vehicle into reverse, at which point it threw a track, the whiplash narrowly missing mensch. "Damn", thought mensch, "it's been a while since I last had a good whipping!". As though reading mensch's mind...

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....all the regular contributors to the pool volunteered, and brought their weapon of choice.

On their way to the asylum, they carefully walked between the lovemaking penguins, in particular being wary of....

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-28-2001).]

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...thought the camel breeder, "It's almost time for the latest episode of One Hump or Two". As he flipped through the channels ,the sight of a group of heavily armed men weaving their way through a field of amorous penguins, caught his attention.He leaned in to watch as...

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... mug of coffee. "Hey", the trader exclaimed, "get your own!".

"But there are no granules left!", his lover retorted.

"Well go and buy some!"

"The shops will be closed by now!"

"Well you'll just have to wait until tomorrow!"

"Can't I have some of yours? Please??"

"Like hell!"

"But... I thought you loved me!!"

This touching scene was shattered as an 81mm shell exploded on the roof and sent fragments of tile crashing through the ceiling. "Quick", the trader exclaimed, "let's get out of here before the place falls down!". Forgetting his dejection, the lover offered a voice of reason. "Maybe they're just conducting recon by fire. If we run outside, we'll be gunned down!" They were considering the best course of action when...

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..."It's none of your business, is what it is" retorted John Wayne, fresh from beating the crap out of NipponBoy. "And what's more...I don't like you sticking your nose into this thread and asking stupid questions. Somebody ought to put you in your place, but I won't, I won't...the HELL I WON'T!!" And he punched him in the nose, driving his nose bone into his brain and killing him. Everyone cheered for John Wayne. "YAY!"

Just then, Mace rode in on a sheep dressed like Annalist, shouting...

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... about the fact that his mount refused to engage a Jagdtiger, thus proving the gamey superiority of German armour. "At this stage in the war", he yelled, "German soldiers should be so demoralised by the destruction of their homeland, and so crippled by lack of food through supply shortages, that they should have their global morale reduced by 25.3%, thus rendering them incapable of mustering the strength to heave a shell into the breech of the Jagdtiger!"

Realising the uncharacteristically foul words he had uttered, Mace...

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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

... proceeded to rinse his mouth out with Matt's Flaming Heidman, which still stood undisturbed upon the bar. He drained the glass, swished, swallowed and then...

...wondered what the hell he had done to keep being mentioned in dispatches, even after his numerous attempts to deflect the topic towards Mensch, who everyone knew was much more worthy of the loathing and contempt of the discussion board collective!

Mace turned his attention back to the bar, and continued to drink.

Soon, the result of an alcoholic stupor, his concerns eased as his thoughts turned to lust. The lust for repeated whippings delivered to him by the well known...

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... Professor Doctor Hamster X! The Professor Doctor was well known for his effective back hand technique and his famous speech he recited at every geek convention he could attend. "Everyone knows that HE shells can skip, why isn't this modeled? And what about MGs? You can run with them easy! Why, I ran with three just last Sunday! And that brings me too...

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Originally posted by PeterNZer:

... Professor Doctor Hamster X! The Professor Doctor was well known for his effective back hand technique and his famous speech he recited at every geek convention he could attend. "Everyone knows that HE shells can skip, why isn't this modeled? And what about MGs? You can run with them easy! Why, I ran with three just last Sunday! And that brings me too...

...the part of the show where I dance with sparklers and sing a jolly tune. I like to call this song...

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

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Originally posted by Croda:

...John Wayne film festival. Everyone got pissed off and threw their Flaming Heidmans at the screen during Mace's "Enjoying the Sheep" scene. It was the last time a non-Duke flic was shown at the festival. Lucky for Mace, though...

...he was on the ball (and off the sheep), quickly turning the subject matter on a much more attention deserving Hiram!

Hiram, the man of the moment, dancing with the sparklers and impressing everyone with his...

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Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger

...imitation of Mace with a sheep routine that quickly dissolved into...

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"'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre

[This message has been edited by Der Unbekannte Jäger (edited 01-30-2001).]

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