Guest Rex_Bellator Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 screamed as she realisied someone had posted while she was typing her witty reply which made a nonsense of her effort. Ahh well at least I can spell gauge she thought... ------------------ "We're not here to take it - We're here to give it" General Morshead's response to the popular newspaper headline "Tobruk Can Take It" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeski Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 ...So I picked up my flamethrower and headed out the door once again. This time I would not be... ------------------ "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them." - Jack Handey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 Originally posted by joeski: ...So I picked up my flamethrower and headed out the door once again. This time I would not be... ...deterred or so I thought, when suddenly it turned into a bundle of roses, just as... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 Originally posted by Germanboy: ...deterred or so I thought, when suddenly it turned into a bundle of roses, just as... ....I realized I used to be a "she" and went through this change of pronoun within a couple of hours during the telling. My flamethrower now cleverly disguised as a bouquet of flowers that shot out deadly flaming... ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: ....I realized I used to be a "she" and went through this change of pronoun within a couple of hours during the telling. My flamethrower now cleverly disguised as a bouquet of flowers that shot out deadly flaming... .....Bananas in pyjamas that came..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 ...with penguins, with little bow ties, which... ------------------ "'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre [This message has been edited by Der Unbekannte Jäger (edited 01-24-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 ...are very similar to the Sherman tank, according to shandorfffff, who... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 . . . should stay on his own forum rather than presuming that he . . . ------------------ Continuing the fight from the secret command bunker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted January 24, 2001 Share Posted January 24, 2001 once closely resembled a disposessed Genoese Dossshouse keeper named Luigi, a man whose gigantic proboscis was often rammed into... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 ...the breech of an M8 Greyhound and fired at high velocity towards any monstrous armoured vehicle the Germans could field, the M8 crew safe in the knowledge that their ordinance was fortified with the will of god and would penetrate the thickest armour plating. Heinz leaped out of the crippled wreck of his Kleine Maus, .50 cal bullets lancing through the 10-inch thick armour like butter and narrowly missing him as he dived for cover. Too late he remembered the 20-foot drop to ground level... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Originally posted by David Aitken: ...the breech of an M8 Greyhound and fired at high velocity towards any monstrous armoured vehicle the Germans could field, the M8 crew safe in the knowledge that their ordinance was fortified with the will of god and would penetrate the thickest armour plating. Heinz leaped out of the crippled wreck of his Kleine Maus, .50 cal bullets lancing through the 10-inch thick armour like butter and narrowly missing him as he dived for cover. Too late he remembered the 20-foot drop to ground level... ...and was forced to deploy his Acme Jumpomatic Sneakers with Super-Springy instep. This alone saved his life. "Gott im Himmell, Ich bin ein eisel", Heinz muttered to himself while he dusted himself off and wandered away to find a... ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal [This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 01-25-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 .. a patch of magic mushrooms he remembered.. ------------------ "Patriotism is the virtue of the viscious" - Oscar Wilde "Don't F*CK with Johnny Cash!" - Chupacabra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 that a Rex-Bellator is a fish, not a ostrich! With that in mind, he deftly side-stepped the ninja kick which threatened to drive his spleen through his... ------------------ Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 ...mother-in-law who has always been really stern about bloody and guts on her floral dresses. Screaming the battelcry of MiLs everywhere "you're not good enough for my daughter!" she vowed revenge on the male who may have possibly bloodied her dress. Looking around she picked up the... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Originally posted by PeterNZer: ...mother-in-law who has always been really stern about bloody and guts on her floral dresses. Screaming the battelcry of MiLs everywhere "you're not good enough for my daughter!" she vowed revenge on the male who may have possibly bloodied her dress. Looking around she picked up the... ...remote and saw what what on the telly. "BBC again today, Dear?", she asked her roomate. "Sod off!" Andreas answered as he applied some more makeup to his Japanese looking face and opened up a tube of... ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: ...remote and saw what what on the telly. "BBC again today, Dear?", she asked her roomate. "Sod off!" Andreas answered as he applied some more makeup to his Japanese looking face and opened up a tube of... Foster's. "Oi, not that dingo's piddle again!", yelled the massed throng of foam-mouthed Australians. Suddenly, a voice off-screen yelled, at a volume usually achieved only by certain aunts, "SHEEP!". That was when all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Suddenly, a voice off-screen yelled, at a volume usually achieved only by certain aunts, "SHEEP!". That was when all... 235 gallons of rancid gutterwaste came boiling through the window, leaving the entire group dripping with evil smelling goo. Clearly one of Pablo's experiments had taken an unexpected turn. This was confirmed only seconds later when... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 ...Oberst busted into the room with three new Grog-Porn DVDs that he had just bought at Tasty Video. "Hey Look!" he exclaimed. "These new videos let you change the angle that you're viewing from. That means we can focus in on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 ...the weaks points to see the effects of penetration from various angles!" Disgusted at the prospect of penetrations occuring in the absence of sheep, the Australians shook themselves down and started glancing around fervently, trying to locate the source of the call which promised what they all spend their working days dreaming of. As they disappeared out the windows and doors, Andreas the Nippon surprised Herr Oberst and disarmed him with a flying karate kick. Helpless without his new toy, Oberst panicked and ordered three rifle squads into the room to assist him, forgetting that he did not have the 3:1 force ratio necessary to assault the room where Andreas's two SMG squads were hiding. Appalled by the subsequent massacre, Oberst shouldered his Vickers machinegun and retreated, oblivious to the fact that all of his comrades were able to run whereas he could only walk, and was unable to abandon his heavy weapon unless it was damaged. Mercifully Andreas the Nippon inadvertantly came to his rescue with a spinning punch which landed squarely on the receiver of the Vickers and knocked the firing pin out of alignment. "I am freeee!!", Oberst gushed as he dropped the machinegun on Andreas's toes and headed for the horizon faster than an M8 full of conscript rednecks. Just then one of the Aussies mistook Andreas's white karate suit for a sheep's fleece... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Originally posted by David Aitken: ...the weaks points to see the effects of penetration from various angles!" ....blablablablabla.... Just then one of the Aussies mistook Andreas's white karate suit for a sheep's fleece... ...and decided to load him into the nahverteidigungswaffe allowing for... ------------------ "'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted January 26, 2001 Share Posted January 26, 2001 Originally posted by Der Unbekannte Jäger: ...and decided to load him into the nahverteidigungswaffe allowing for... "Windage, elevation of the deck and quality of powder, my dear Maturin," bellowed Commodore Jack "Lucky Randy Bilious Jack" Aubrey, oblivious that Stephen was, in fact, standing right next to him in the lee of the aftspankingfotheringay. "Lah, sir, and 'tis a fine thing I'm sure," replied his saturnine companion, "though not a patch on the abdominal reticules of this nondescript beetle which I have just discovered while performing a cranial resection on the Under Master's Gunner's Bosun's Assistant Chief Pantagruel. Jack adjusted the chelenk of his second-best hat. "The Devil take you for a lubber, sir. Have you not seen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted January 26, 2001 Share Posted January 26, 2001 ...Hiram's underwear? They have cat fur all over them. I was thinking that it's probably because... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted January 26, 2001 Share Posted January 26, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: ...Hiram's underwear? They have cat fur all over them. I was thinking that it's probably because... ..he was wondering when a balding, paunchy Ninja with a distinct Carolina accent came panting up the stairs, shouting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted January 26, 2001 Share Posted January 26, 2001 ... "I AM CHUPACBRA! Slayer of Goats and Burgers!" Everyone else replied "sod of you stupid American git!", promptly Chupie invited everyone to an obscure art house film about a slovakian peasant and her life with navel lint. Realising the horror, the crowd.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted January 26, 2001 Share Posted January 26, 2001 ....SHEEP, SHEEP where are me bloody sheep! His gaze then fell on Mace who was..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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