Hamsters Posted March 18, 2001 Author Share Posted March 18, 2001 The reason he couldn't answer you, oh largest eared of the pixie folk, is because he was busy being eviscerated by us. Peng: Eviscerated, and how. Hamsters: VIC-TOR-Y! [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-18-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Thats odd, I'm doing the same thing to him as well.... Gotta love my ears (thanks kitty), why else would I set you up as Paras in our game? And Peter NZ as well, in fact anyone who wants me to set them up in a game will be given Brit Paras, just so you can gaze lovingly at my image each time you click on a unit. Its the least I can do, in a way it helps take the edge off the horror I feel each time I click on a german unit and see Maces ugly mug. Even Germanboy looks more german than Mace, and he looks japanese! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 ...on my buddy list Maybe it's because you are looking in the wrong place. Don't you have a list called Pods and other associated beings that want to kick me in the teeth and zipper me up with HMGs from two sides while I dance for their delight spitting chicklets If you don't you should have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Iterate: To say again. Reiterate: Not a word, you moron. I'm an idiot collective of small mumbling Cricetinae My dear little fellows, apparently all of the seeds, poo, and other things you have stuffed in your cheek pouches has put enormous pressure on that bundle of synapses that pass for your brains. As such, we really shouldn't feel too sorry at your incomprehension of what constitutes a word and what does not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Originally posted by Stuka: Even Germanboy looks more german than Mace, and he looks japanese! Stuka - get out of your dive (geddit?) and get someone to set up a scenario. I don't care what it is, as long as it is not a meeting engagement. I can lose with whatever force or force-makeup I am given, as long as it is remotely historical (i.e. stick to some OOB, I don't care if it is the one of a Schwere Panzerabteilung, but an OOB it should be). I don't know why I indulge you Aussie, but maybe I hope that incessive CMBO playing will have a negative impact on your ability to hold a relationship down and the Missus gets available again. So there. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 And now... What have the evil Nazis come for? Read on! Part 1 here. Is it curtains for Bauhaus? Is CM2 doomed to be a flashy but worthless FPS? Find out... umm... later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 David - all your creativity are belong to us... Great stuff. Maybe we can convince BTS to print this little series in the CM2 handbook... Before I forget - all turns sent out following the purchase of a new modem. Mace - they are culling sheep here. I personally saw Sheila get whacked. Peter was in tears. Must be a ploy to get rid of all the annoying antipoedean PR people populating my office (although Sara may stay as far as I am concerned). Anybody else here thinks that CavScout and Maximus would make a fine couple? Just wondering. Maybe a match-maker should arrange an Omiai there. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Lastly - if anyone challenged me during the last two or three incarnations of this thread, you will have to do so again, and in style. Or better yet, don't, and keep your winning record straight. I only give Stuka a game because I dislike him. EEC won't get one because his name reminds me of a nasty bit of my work. I won't go back to reading the 250 pages of unadulterated crap that you lot produced while I was not looking, because I could not care less. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Outstanding work, David. But, Bauhaus needs to be MUCH taller ... unless, of course, he is still sittling down ... never was much for following direction, that one. ------------------ "Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change." -- Oddball "Crap." -- Moriarty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Unlike some snobby elitists, I read every word of this dreck, even when unable to respond. I have noted an alarming tolerance for newbie scum, and a distinct tendency toward (shudder) civility. I attribute to this to my reticence. Corrective action follows. Wars: von Schrad burns in Hell. Unfortunately, so do I. This version of an Afterlife makes life seem worth living. If he hadn't been issued a peck of Churchilosauri I'd own the place. elvis is a gamey cheat and rune loves him, which is why he has a brigade of German infantry to stop my handful of sissy Canucks. He also had a couple brigades of Panzers. But not any more. Peng is invisible and must have a monster ambush ready in the last 3/4" of the map (that's 750 milli-inches for you foreigners). Pawbroon just stopped by for his weekly vehicle disposal and disappeared back into the night. He has spent so much time modding that he is no longer able to distinguish fact (CM) from fiction (his viability in this game). meeksters has made a solitary appearance on the map. There will be no viewing of the remains and services were already held. Mortality is not negotiable, you doof. I saw a Valkyrie fly by, laughing her horns off. Goanna the Cheating Foreigner has not really put in his appearance yet either. Most of what he knows about this game comes from Peng. I do not think the Ambush works as well for the Attacker, however. Geier must've mixed up his lutefisk and kimshee again. He is dead or Swedish, but he is nowhere to be found. A default judgment will shortly be entered against him. There ya go. You want balanced reporting, buy US News and World Report. "Cav loves Max". Kinda has a ring to it. This is poll material... "I would rather be stuck in an elevator with ______ because: _____". I was beginning to forgive Aitken's parents but he keeps letting everyone live in his cartoons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: Wars: von Schrad burns in Hell. Unfortunately, so do I. This version of an Afterlife makes life seem worth living. If he hadn't been issued a peck of Churchilosauri I'd own the place. I just watched a lovely TV programme on Botticelli's illustrations to Dante's Divine Comedy - imagine what it would do to this map *goes to the editor*... Game updates, I forgot. Simple, some I win, some I lose, some I draw, who cares anyway. I just surrendered to JD in his grudge match, but that will not change the fact that he looks like a *shudder* estate agent. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 This really sucks but I decided against starting a "hey, notice me, I play pbem but will be unable to reply today because..." thread and just telling you lot roight here and now. 1. Outlook Express is dead. Deader than dead actually and it cannot longer be used to send email with. I'm looking for other ways of using it as I've become rather fond of the croatian/argentinian/porn spam I've been subject to for a carefully noted time. If whoever it was that targeted me is reading this I want to thank you for ruining a perfectly good email addy for me. 2. Those of you whom I'm playing, I'll send out some emails to you as soon as I am 100% sure that my disks are clean. The old email will probably not be used anymore and I'm not going to advertise the new one either. 3. Thank you for your patience, I find you all to be wonderful people and I wish you all were dead or in great pain. ------------------ Johan "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" Tom Waits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 ConfusedBoy apparently has (auto?) surrendered to me, but that was after the Gallic hordes with faces painted blue yelling "Vercingetriox shall be avenged!" and "Remember Alesia!"Came sweeping through the fog, smoke and burning plumes of houses afire in a le banzai! charge.Combat was hand to hand and desperate. At least on his side. They were gunned down on the spot but it was a bit exciting in a sadistic sort of way. Like pulling the legs off a spider. 86-14, your basic Total Victory. In other new, Mace has been trying to deal with the Panther from Hell running amok in his rear. The last survivor of a small kampfgruppe thatMacey nicely bushwhacked, this little kitty has eviscerated 5 of his tanks. Sort of like Alien where the crew keeps getting picked off one by one as they try to run me to the ground. Hamsters is well finding that his troops have a morale problem. On his right a Mg outpost and gun, had one shot fired at them and gave it up so quick that a Times Square Hooker would have been impressed. PawIamamoddernowBroom (a very nice one too btw) and I continue to stagger in the dark and both are seeking ways to lose this one to the other. JoebertShaw and I die in droves as we recreate the Eastern Front, Battle of Kursk, as I try to break out, and he resists. Lizardboyhas made me a one armed boxer. nothing like haveing your Pershing bogg and get immobilized on the far sode of the hill from his positions, pfaff! Chisel will win, but I am extracting some punishment in the night phase of our operation. When the sun comes up, I shall die. Peng awaits my approach in our night battle. What he doesn't know is that I am already behind him. Shhh. Don't tell him, ok? jd - win Andreas - loss ------------------ edited to make sure GB (gunnyBunny? Seprated at birth?) loss is clear •Non illegitimi carborundum est •If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram [This message has been edited by jd (edited 03-18-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Originally posted by Germanboy: Mace - they are culling sheep here. I personally saw Sheila get whacked. Peter was in tears. Must be a ploy to get rid of all the annoying antipoedean PR people populating my office (although Sara may stay as far as I am concerned). Germanboy, I know, I know! It is quite heart-wrenching to see it, but I do take solace in the fact that they are Pommie Sheep, and that my plan to repopulate the world with Aussie uber-marinos can now commence. While I'm at it, just a quick note for Stuka's benefit. Have you considered changing the SS Soldat bitmap back to the original? No? That Queensland sun must have fried your brain (and here I am thinking that those ears would provide some protection). Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted March 18, 2001 Share Posted March 18, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: NEVER accept or solicit (sit DOWN Bauhaus) a setup without a JPEG of the parameters screen. Yeah, but I could just send a screenshot of whatever setup I'm claiming to use, then switch the settings to whatever I want to before making the setup. Err... that is, one could do such a thing. In theory. I think. Not that I would. The fact is lad, you can't trust them. Roger that, sir (as in "I understand," Bauhaus, not... er... something else). It's easier to kill 'em, instead. Speaking of which: stevetherat is dying like a gallant gentleman, braving fighting as best as he can under determined infantry assualt, pummeling from direct-fire HE, and a withering artillery barrage. He's holding out like a real trooper, with hardly a word of complaint and even nice things to say about my devastatingly-superior tactics. Does the 'Pool need further proof that he is a GAMEY CHEATING BASTARD!? SAVE YOUR GOOD WILL FOR THE DEVIL, YOU TURD! YOU DESERVE NO MERCY, AND BY PENG'S GALL-BLADDER (IF PODS HAVE GALL-BLADDERS) YOU SHALL HAVE NONE! I've already got my bailed tank crew carving your men's bones into decorative flutes which will be smashed with hammers after the battle, and the supply train is moving up the sausage machine. Croda and I are battling in the snow. I blew up a building with my Mortars of Culinary Vengeance. He's shooting me, I'm shooting him. I still hate snow. Not as much as I hate Croda, but it's getting close. Seanachai is a gamey maneuverist who is advancing his men just as quickly as mine are running away. I can still get to the map-edge first, you wank. DekeFentle is almost as much of a gamey, cheating bastard as stevetherat. He somehow hacked into the moderate-trees-moderate-hills setup file I made and edited the map so that all the trees were packed around the VLs, and there was a large, coverless pool table between them and my setup zone. I have knocked down a farmhouse and am running my men around in circles as a counter-tactic. Leeo and I have arranged a fair setup, but I'm sure he's going to send me gamey crap. I'm allied, so I plan on getting an M334A2 steamroller (the diesel-powered export-only version) to crush him flat, plus an M764A3E8-HVSS backhoe to bury him. Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 19, 2001 Author Share Posted March 19, 2001 Updates, for all yous limeys! Stuka the Large-Eared has decided that the best way to take out his angst at having ears the size of small moons is to kill the, roughly, 8.2 million men I have fielded. He has so far succeeded in killing 1. This man's name was Richard Walter, he lived in Ebonshire by the Loo. You will pay, Stuka, you will pay. MarkIV the Cruel has killed the avatar of Halftrakikus, German god of halftracks and Bratwurst. This has so incensed the Krauts that they will no doubt tear him to pieces. This is only possible if our panzershreck can manage to hit the broad side of a zeppelin. Jd the Crafty has managed to sweet talk our men into buffoonery and cowardice. Those that don't surrender immediately seem to be unable to shoot. Those that are able to shoot seem unable to hit anything. It is sad. Seanachai the Cursed has managed to attract the attention of Baronet Willie Von Richtofen, little known bastard son of the Red Baron. Not only does this sob like to bomb and strafe but we're pretty sure we saw him making time with some of Seanachai's company whores. Let it be noted that a scout car in this battle made a valient but pathetically ineffective effort to sway of the Junior Baron. Croda the Crodariffic is insane and this map is huge. PeterNZer the Poorly Named seems to have sent me an operation that consists solely of his tanks blowing up our tanks. Not out of tactics, mind you, rather the initial turn consists of his tanks pointed at my tanks rears. And our tanks are all green. And they're Cromwells and Stuarts and Sherman IIs. And his are Tigers and they're veteran, crack and elite. This makes little sense to us. Aitken the Lucky deserves to not be mentioned. He and jd must have picked up the Hamsters Voodoo Doll and Curse Set from Costco, for our men are incompetant on this map, too. DekeFentle the Ugly is facing all of the crack shots and heroes that were culled from the ranks of the troops facing jd and Aitken. One AT gun killed a Jackson and then crippled another not 2 seconds before the gun itself was knocked out. Another AT gun is down to only one valiant soldier that refuses to abandon or take cover, facing off against the last piece of Allied armor on the field. Goanna the Lizard has become angry at our positioning of troops in buildings. It has demanded that our next battle take place on a flat field so that we may resolve our differences like men, even though it is a lizard and we are a multitude of hamsters. Priest accepted our cease-fire. Verbally. That's right, Priest didn't hit Alt-C and return the bloody file and has now fallen off the face of the earth. We've won this one, so it is only a matter of time. Armornut still doesn't get it. Elvis, Lorak, Hiram and Berli, send us a setup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 In news today Lorak PeterNZ - WIN Croda - STINKING DEAFEAT After around 125 file exchanges the might have fallen. Well, Croda isn't really mighty, and, well, while he did fall it probably wasn't very far. Anyway, he lost. My reinforced battalion stormed his town and utterly descimated all bits and pieces it could find. There was really no hope for the poor little bugger. PeterNZ ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and JeffShandorf - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Leeo and I have arranged a fair setup, but I'm sure he's going to send me gamey crap. I'm allied, so I plan on getting an M334A2 steamroller (the diesel-powered export-only version) to crush him flat, plus an M764A3E8-HVSS backhoe to bury him. Gamey crap indeed. I've managed to acquire a platoon of Jagdtigers via Lend-Lease from several grudge-holding Southern states in North America. Oh, and 7 Whirblewinds, supported by genetically modified Uber-infantry (produced in Castle Wolfenstein). Agua, on the other hand, has likely purchased nothing but farm kids from Iowa, armed with chocolate, cigarettes, and nylons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Originally posted by Leeo: Agua, on the other hand, has likely purchased nothing but farm kids from Iowa, armed with chocolate, cigarettes, and nylons. Well, I am sending to France, you dullard. Once they've used their down-home good looks and excess luxury goods to woo away your uber-troops' fancy-ladies, your morale will collapse and I will win without firing a shot. You can send your alt-U after I finish my setup. Agua Perdido [Edited because I haven't said anything bad about Croda (who is a complete fenderhead) in several days.] ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! [This message has been edited by Agua Perdido (edited 03-18-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: You can send your alt-U after I finish my setup. Indeed I will, as in, alternatively; Up Yours! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Fog! Fog so heavy you can almost see the water droplets floating in the air. The kind of dense, heavy fog that coats every surface with a sheen of water, that muffles the squeak and clank of the tracks, the kind of fog that hides the enemy until a sudden, terrifying hail of fire rips the mist apart. Basically I'm just saying that Seanachai and I are both groping (sit Down Bauhaus around the map. He claims he's seen me, I think he's lying. Berli grabbed a scenario at random (so he says) in which the description of the scenario itself says "Best played against the A.I." And who do you think will be playing the part of the A.I. in this one? Why it's the bearded one himself, of course. In fairness (like I really care) he did offer to play another, but as I've mentioned numerous times, I am a person of HONOR ... if others choose to act dishonorably, so be it. I shall soldier on and do my best regardless of the odds (and deck) stacked against me. Why? Because that's just the kind of guy I am. jd has apparently fallen into dispondency and gone into hiding as I've seen no turn from him all weekend. His mighty armored thrust (sit Down Bauhaus) has stalled, thanks in no small part to a heroic 'schreck crew that nailed TWO Shermans in a single turn. It has been, as jd admitted, a blood bath. Mace has insisted on prolonging a meaningless fight far beyond the point of decision. He will win this fight, though he's done everything he can to throw it away after his incredible luck in killing all my AFVs, but he refused to accept a winning Cease Fire and is now carefully, timidly, SLLLOOOWWWWWLLLYYYYYY moving on my redoubt. I'd almost prefer gamey to boring, but luckily with Mace I can have BOTH. Bauhaus ... no, no ... no need to sit down again, this is different. Bauhaus had a Panther and a JgPzIV playing High Noon against my Armored Car and were unable to score. Now I hold two of the three VLs and ... well ... maybe you better sit down Bauhaus ... and send a surrender while you're at it. Goanna had a good turn ... I know, who'd have thought it ... and seems to think that his AT guns and Stugs will save the day and keep my rampaging Allies from rolling over his positions like a storm tossed sea crashing over a foundering wreck ... he is wrong. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Originally posted by Germanboy: Stuka - get out of your dive (geddit?) and get someone to set up a scenario. I don't care what it is, as long as it is not a meeting engagement. I can lose with whatever force or force-makeup I am given, as long as it is remotely historical (i.e. stick to some OOB, I don't care if it is the one of a Schwere Panzerabteilung, but an OOB it should be). I think I might be able to come up with something Expect a scenario later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skorpion Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Who or what is a Peng? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 19, 2001 Author Share Posted March 19, 2001 Originally posted by Skorpion: Who or what is a Peng? Peng is what you lesser people know as God or Allah or Brahma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 19, 2001 Share Posted March 19, 2001 Originally posted by Skorpion: Who or what is a Peng? Who is what is a Skorpion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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