Hamsters Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Dammit, you steenking lizard, less of the postings and more of the killings! Yar!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Jd has bested me. Mine nipples are in mine ears. Lorak, scribe it as thus. Tis true, MeekHamster has burrowed in. Cratering so to speak. Course I swear his brood procreated over on my right flank. A platoon went into the woods and came out a company, charging into my guns. While all of 25 turns, on a small map the fighting was intense. Thus the legaltruppen prevail: jd-win Meeks - loss ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Originally posted by a sissy on the main board: Course this is the advantage of the cesspool - winning is a means to make jokes brag and puff hotair, and losing is an opportunity to make jokes brag and puff hotair. Actually I think my pool comrades play a "generally" realistic and straight up game. I have never had to deal with weird force mixtures. As for tactics, some are better than others, but it is the camaraderie that matters For me one of the rites of obligation is to go on the board and confess I sucked big time in a game (hear that chrisl, you'll get it eventually!) I guess what I am saying that alot of the win/lose is taken out if the guys you play with are straight up and decent. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! What a nancy-boy! We should publicly stone him and tie his naughty bits into a knot. And disbar him! And run him down with a lawnmower!!! We find it real sweet that you think so highly of us, you little pencilpusher. Here's hoping you aren't so caught up in your bright, sunshiny world that you don't see that piano falling from the 14th floor of the Acme building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: What a nancy-boy! We should publicly stone him and tie his naughty bits into a knot. And disbar him! And run him down with a lawnmower!!! Regardless of JD's views, I say we just stone him for the fun of it! As for the tying of naughty bits, I'll leave that for you hamsters, no way the rest of us are going anywhere near there without the correct equipment! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 originally posted by morse For me one of the rites of obligation is to go on the board and confess I sucked big time in a game (hear that chrisl, you'll get it eventually!) But you don't have to suck that big time in a game before you go and confess- and you haven't even confessed it. I hope you got some IR goggles or something in the 3rd battle. You've been playing like they AI.... Surrender now and we won't give you the smallpox blankets. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Said elsewhere by a crazed multiple personality Despite any statements on the Pool otherwise, I have nothing but respect for your damned abilities as a commander. I will, of course, deny I ever made that statement if asked. Sometimes one's hand is forced ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Shoot chrisl, I killed even the smallpox...however, rune in his infinite sadism chose to grant unto me further troops to lead to glory ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Originally posted by jd: Rune is an evil minion of Satan, and chooses to torment me with overpriced and underarmed hamstertruppen against what must be 100% fanatic suicide brits armed to the gills with magic death-rays. The horror. I'll set the ceasefire flag until there's contact, and you can spend a battle recovering (and so can I...). Once there's contact though I'll unset it until you start to kill my troops. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Originally posted by jd: Said elsewhere by a crazed multiple personality Sometimes one's hand is forced Lies! Damned lies!! Statistics!!! And a damn, dirty smilie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Game update: Bauhaus - If it were anyone else, I might be getting concerned, but Bauhaus will shoot himself in the foot. Dekefentle - Just started, but he's already lost... he just doesn't know it Germanboy - Its been so long since I received the last file from him that i can't even remember what we are playing. i am confident, however, that he is losing GITom - playtest... doesn't count Goanna - Omantel is winning jd - I've lulled him into a false sense of superiority... little does he know that he's falling right into my trap Mensch - Applying the tactics of Die-A-Lot-Now™ to great effect Moriarty - As he says, he sucks PawBroon - ROTFL!!!! Got a little over confident didn't you? If the StuG of doom wasn't enough, that Schreck team has got to be pissing you off Seanachai - The game that would not end... 'cus he don't send no files! Shandorf - about to walk into the biggest ambush of his life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Achtung! ÜberLizard Update I know it’s been a while, but I was waiting to knock out that last movie against Seanachai before providing dispatches from the front. However, you know how it goes if you are playing that cur, he will do anything to avoid defeat. Right now he is holding on to the turn while trying to figure out how to hack it and move the rest of his forces off the map to avoid what will surely be a major victory to the forces of scalyness. Moriarty is still skulking around somewhere with his little paratroopers. I hold all the VLs though, so I could care less whether he shows up or not. Sonderlizards have been creeping the woods mopping up the wounded of bahaus while the gum-chewers make one last attempt in vain to wrest the third nipple from my iron grasp. He is wailing about war crimes tribunals or some such nonsense, clearly uneducated in the fact that the victors write the history books. Shaw has ground to a halt at the first tree line inside my setup zone. After giving the coup de gras to his first wave, my Volkstürm plan to retire for light refreshment and a nap before fitting themselves out in their fighting teeth while I bomb him back to the stone age. jd is already feeling cro-magnon as he made me cranky by first shotting one of my ATGs and forcing me to unleash the wrath of pointy rain on him. Berli is just beginning to suffer a similar fate, but his death throes are concealed in a trademark sheath of 81mm smoke. Doesn’t anyone use the centre of the map these days? Well, he is posting and playing PBEM’s, so its definitely time to welcome HoldyourDk into the pool right. I haven’t seen films consistently this good since Repoman. He has presently stopped walking 8” arty around to destroy buildings I just vacated and has now decided to occupy a few buildings that I have previously taken vacant possession of. Why don’t I just hold the pointy things steady while you run past and gut yourself? We could have a new challenge for Croda on our hands, and since he only has a few posts I think maybe he should just change his screen name to Neo-Hiram now. Things are just starting out with Peng, MarkyMarkVI and Meeks so I will save their embarrassing antics until later. Elvis on the other hand is being a good sport and bulling his tanks out one at a time for dismantlement by my Panther who holds the high ground in every sense and has begun shelling his own troops as he must have sensed that I was nearly out of ammo. I got like 50 copies of a new scenario from Wheresmybikegermanboy and with all my ISP problems I am still trying to sort out which is the "real" one. This will be saved for the next match with a pooler. In the meantime, he wants to play some burning town scenario. I am game and awaiting your setup, you snide eurotrash. I sent out bits of poison to you all today, so if anyone isn’t getting my e-mail sound off as my ISP may still be rooted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Guano, you were sent the 04 turn approximately 24 hours prior to this posting, & nothing heard from since (oh, the simple beauty of sequential numbering). Another of your gamey lies revealed. Who knows what "today" means in your geographically perverse world... The Elvine Monstrosity rumbles forward with lots of pyros but little actual damage. Actually most of my wars are just getting going or at an inconclusive midpoint. The singular exception is the peekaboo night-mare with 'Pool frog and intermittently ubiquitous Pawbroom, whose resurgent elan has turned this little war into something very interesting. I actually had Something, which he thinks is a MkIV, resist 4 point blank hits (I mean, under 50m) from an M8. As we know that to be impossible, he should deduce by now that it is the dreaded JumboSturmchurchillIX, ausf. K, so just put down that TD and back away... the fun thing about this one is guessing which direction he'll come from next. How many here are aware that the term "jarhead" derives from the practice of issuing orthopedic helmets to those soldiers most resistant to training? It occurs to me that I have never had a war with the cannon-cocking Berlikasomthing and I'm not sure how such an oversight is possible. Since I am already overcommitted I may as well extend an insolent gesture in his direction, difficult to describe in print, but suggesting martial incompetence, low morals, and bemused empathy for his family members. Name your terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Goanna, once again showing his true colors (green and brown IIRC) slanderously stated: Shaw has ground to a halt... What has ground to a halt, in point of fact, are the turns from you. I send to your PDO account and the turns get bounced, I send to your Bigpond account and you whine about having to clean your inbox when you get home, and all the time you accuse ME of not replying. And, as MarkIV has correctly stated, your ISP apparently has forgotten how to set a blooming calendar, let alone a clock, as your turns are stamped in some fashion that must be the ultimate realization of the "timeless and trackless desert." Now get it together and SEND ME A TURN ... if you haven't received my latest ... check ALL ISPs and if that fails I'll send it again. I regret to inform the group that jd has resorted to gamey tactics in his latest, desperate effort to defeat me. What gamey tactics you ask? I'm glad you asked, for only by knowing the evil that dwells in his heart can we hope to slay the dragon of gamey play and put an end to it's nefarious impact on our games. We must all band together (sit down Bauhaus) and deplore ALL gamey tactics and especially gamey tacticians if we are to reach the gaming nirvana that is our birthright. Mace continues to drag out the foregone conclusion that is our game. He is ahead on points and now, for some reason, seems to think that he can gain more. I hereby warn him publicly that MORE IS LESS, and greed may yet prove his undoing. In the meantime, the ennui is ... breathtaking. Seanachai, having provided me with a BAD email address, has forced me to RESEND my setup. One can only assume at this point that he has seen the error of his ways and is desperately trying to find a way to avoid manly single combat with me. One can hardly blame him and I hereby offer him the boon of my generosity. I shall take my victory as a given, have Lorak inscribe it thusly and ... no further word need be spoken of his humiliation. What could be more fair? I am, it is true, FAR too good. Peter N Zer has, honor requires me to admit, slightly defeated me in our battle. He will, no doubt, preen and boast shortly ... but his victory will be hollow indeed and as ashes in his mouth will be his boasts as I reveal the TRUTH about our battle. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Joey, that sig file really needs fixing. ta PeterNZ ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and JeffShandorf - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Joey, that sig file really needs fixing. As I mentioned in my reply to your email of March 9th, I am at your convenience as "a deal is a deal". Am I to assume from the above that you didn't get my email or has your shame at taking advantage of my good nature gotten the better of you? Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Please scroll back a page or two and note your assigned signature. ta muchly PeterNZ ------------------ - Official owner of the sig files of Dalem, Croda and JeffShandorf - Der Kessel scenario design group Combat Vision movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Peter N Zer has, regrettably, dug his own grave with his statement:Please scroll back a page or two and note your assigned signature. Now one looking at this statement would naturally think that poor old Joe had simply missed the post or {horrors} ignored it to avoid using the sig file assigned by Peter. Either would be a reasonable assumption. But a closer examination will reveal that Peter EDITED his post ... TWICE, and the last was ... hmmmm ... TODAY! Could it be that Peter did NOT in fact post Joe's name but rather another name ... perhaps that of Jshandorf and then {horrors} presumed to blame the lack of sig on JOE? Could that be the case? I leave that decision to the remainder of the 'pool. While some may choose to act without honor and blame others for their failures, I choose to act honorably and, as is witnessed by the sig below, honor my commitments. NOW ... with that bit out of the way, let's examine, shall we, the VICTORY claimed by Peter N Zer. I am, I suppose, too kind and too good the lesser beings who inhabit this earth with me. I choose the setup, you see, for the battle between Peter and myself. I wanted to attempt an Attack, being weary of Meeting Engagements, and I decided to make it a more fair engagement. I set the turn limit to 20 turns to force me to advance with aclarity and not just sit back and pound his positions to rubble, which I could easily have done. Then I set the weather and time to random, just to have some more fun. The game setup with the time at "zero dark thirty" as our military friends would say and the LOS at a whopping 54 meters. This mitigate, just a tad, against my use of the Sherman 105's I purchased. But it was my choice and I'm not complaining about that. This is mentioned ... for flavor, so that my friends (and Andreas) will understand the limitations I VOLUNTARILY placed upon myself in order to have an intersting game. I did not expect, however, that Peter would go so far as to use GAMEY purchases. Yes, foul as it is, it must be admitted that he bought and used ... MINES! Mines! I ask you, is this the work of an honorable man? I think not. Now a stand up fight, tank to tank, man to man is one thing, but to place filthy, disgusting and DISHONORABLE MINES! I felt it my duty to inform the 'pool of his ... perversions (sit DOWN Bauhaus ... NO not there ... Peter may have MINED it.) Finally, and as proof of Peter's failure to act as a TRUE Knight of the CessPool should, I offer the following. We, the inhabitants of the CessPool, pride ourselves on our taunting, our verbal jousting which is of more value than the actual games we play. We have, in our midst, the likes of Seanachai, Germanboy, Lorak, Agua Perdido and many, many others who grace our pages with their wit and wisdom. But what did I find in the emails of Peter N Zer that accompanied his turns? Countless reiterations of that tired and hackneyed phrase Die A Lot ... that's it ... nothing more. If, indeed, he managed to work up the energy to say anything at all. Is this the work of a True Knight of the CessPool? I say it is not. I will honor my commitment, but the use of the following sig should be viewed not as a mark of defeat and shame, but rather as the mark of victory, the victory of honor over dishonor, the mark of a MAN of honor ... and a True Knight of the Cesspool ... Joe Shaw Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-11-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: But what did I find in the emails of Peter N Zer that accompanied his turns? Countless reiterations of that tired and hackneyed phrase Die A Lot ... that's it ... nothing more. If, indeed, he managed to work up the energy to say anything at all. Is this the work of a True Knight of the CessPool? I say it is not. Joe Well, Joe, he said "poo" in his email to me today, which was more than usual. But I figured that was because I'm beating his little gamey butt. I fixed his gamey selection tendencies by having the computer AI do it. You must take precautions in cases such as these. ------------------ There is a reason Hollywood made a great movie called "Patton" rather than "Hodges". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 11, 2001 Share Posted March 11, 2001 Well Lawyer we must take care in our statements. As an attorney you are well aware of the penalties for liebel and slander. Referring to Peter as Gamey is, of course, obvious and true and therefore not subject to litigation. Calling him virtually illiterate and uncommicative is also true and therefore safe ground. I fear, however, that he (and I wish to lable this clearly as supposition and an allegation ONLY) actually CARES about winning! Look at his choices for his Blood Hamster matches. Did he chose those with high percentages of wins? No, he did not. For the most part he chose those with LOW win percentages. He erred in choosing me since my losses are the result of dumb luck on the part of my opponents as well as clearly questionable tactics, but his intentions are clear. I believe (again, an allegation only at this point), that he wants to be at the top of Lorak's list! Would any TRUE Knight of the CessPool act in such a fashion? He would not. I think we have to watch this lad carefully for further deviant behavior. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 12, 2001 Share Posted March 12, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: Name your terms. Send it Marked for death Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 12, 2001 Share Posted March 12, 2001 Bottom of the first page? See what going to Sweden did for us? Hey, did I miss a joke and is this Hamstrung guy what Meeks used to be, i.e. a nose-thingering, doodlebug-humping gigapoohead? ------------------ I LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER BATTLE TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS NOW HIS AND I AM HIS SLAVE. PLEASE ABUSE ME AS YOU SEE FIT AND CALL ME A DOO-DOO HEAD. IT IS MY PLACE IN LIFE, I WILLINGLY ACCEPT IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted March 12, 2001 Share Posted March 12, 2001 Mandatory post to get the %*($&!@# bbs to update a page. I have turns in from most everyone, so you will get new ones later this afternoon. Nothing yet from Seanachai & Peng so I will begin spamming them with turns as I found Peng hates this, and anything he hates has got to be good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 12, 2001 Share Posted March 12, 2001 Game updates and other drivel: Berlichtingen The battle has yet to be joined. Kamfgrouppe Fentle is proceeding undaunted to their initial phase lines despite the assertion that their fate is already sealed. Intelligence reports with regards to the impotent ineptitude of the allied commander have inadvertently leaked to the troops. As a result of the uproarious laughter and glee this information has brought about, a general order warning against over-confidence has been issued to squelch violations of noise discipline and good order. Agua Perdido This battle of bottom feeders is still in the setup phase. Hamsters The tree dwelling horde’s proposal arrived with little pomp or circumstance and has been turned around with due haste. Would anyone care to comment on what I might expect from the these germanic rodents? Mace In anticipation of our battle, I have graciously purchased a case of Pabst to present to you with the intent of slowly acclimating your palette towards a better class of swill. I will proceed with caution so as not to overwhelm your delicate senses. Perhaps Coors would be appropriate for the next stepping stone? I would invite you to include Stuka in this gradual clime toward the culinary delights drawn from upgrading to a better class of beverage. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-12-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 12, 2001 Share Posted March 12, 2001 Germanboy I would be remise in my fabrication of diatribe if I did not acknowledge the possibility that I may have over-stepped the unwritten rules of this irreverent assemblage of amoral epigrams. The reference in my last address to your familial heritage was outside the precincts of PENGism and as such should be looked upon as error in judgment on my part. I have found many of your offerings to the community at large insightful and well illustrated. It is my desire that any future dialog between our persons shall not suffer from my trite attempt at humor. Having publicly abased myself I now revert to my better-known persona and encroach upon your person with insult and innuendo. What kind of groveling gaijin (I really like that one Seanachia) are you? An ankle biting newbie like myself accosts this fine thread and kicks sand into your maligned mug and you fail to reply? Are you PENG material, or the shavings that line the core of Hamsters tree? As Whuppin’ boy I DEMAND you allow me to suffer the pain of humiliating defeat at your hands. Do you dread a summit on the field of battle with me to the extent that you will continue to cower in abject fear? Perhaps you are no longer the original holder of the Germanboy moniker and are instead a pretender as I have intimated in the gentler sections of my previous posts. Name your conditions and publicly castigate my foul assertions or be forever remembered as the weeping herpes canker that cowered from the Whuppin' boy! When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 12, 2001 Share Posted March 12, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: Berlichtingen The battle has yet to be joined. Kamfgrouppe Fentle is proceeding undaunted to their initial phase lines despite the assertion that their fate is already sealed. Intelligence reports with regards to the impotent ineptitude of the allied commander have inadvertently leaked to the troops. As a result of the uproarious laughter and glee this information has brought about, a general order warning against over-confidence has been issued to squelch violations of noise discipline and good order. Ah, I see your Pinkerton's have discovered that you face Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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